this is an old post. i originally broke it up into 5 or 6 posts, but i think it works better as one giant one.
i found this on maxim.com
100 things guys need to know about women. time to add jimmy comments to it to spice it up.
100 list in italics, my comments in bold.
100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she’s going to outlive you.
yeah, that's cuz they use underhanded tactics like playing sick in order to suck the life out of us.
99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she’s trying to keep herself in line.
if i can SPOT stubble then that shit must be thick as hell. which means she skipped more than a couple days.
98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can’t get a hard-on she assumes you’re not attracted to her.
then maybe she needs to use her mouth for something other than "reassurance" to get things going.
97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.
this is where preemptive strikes come into play.
96. Jewelry. Now you always know what to get her for a last-minute gift.
great, last-minute gift ideas that are never cheap.
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
oh yeah, and gals wearing plain old white underwear and granny panties isn't?
94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn’t get along with other women because she’s either bat-shit crazy or just plain mean.
plus it means she's got nobody to hang with giving you time to yourself or time with your boys. trust me on this one, being able to send her off with her friends will keep you both more happy.
93. Girls who say, “I love sports!” are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they’re talking about, are not.
eh..... i don't buy this one. my last 2 girlfriends both loved NASCAR. and specifying a game might mean they track more than one team/league/sport.
92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she’s most fertile.
nice to know. so fellas, make sure you wrap it if you're banging a chick who's cheating on her boyfriend/husband. i know i did.
91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
aw how sweet. i guarantee they and I don't have a damn thing she sent.
90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it’s their car.
hey great. like i needed permission. unless it's in the shop i'm the one driving anyway and unless i trust you completely you ain't touching my baby. (the list of people i've let drive my car is VERY short)
89. A girl would prefer to get a $100 gift from Tiffany & Co. than a $500 gift from Fortunoff. Why? Because her friends will ask where she got it.
sorry but i have no clue what those places are. cheaper gift good.
88. “If I give you my number on Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday are your best bets to score a date. Monday is too desperate, Thursday is too late.”—Claire, 27
and never is "go fuck yourself honey, i don't jump thru hoops for any dame."
87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.
naturally. because facts and common sense just can't be used to argue with a woman. we accept it.
86. Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like putting your jacket over a mud puddle for her, you noble bastard.
fine whatever. just shut up already.
85. A recent study revealed that natural blondes could be extinct in 200 years, so unless she’s Norwegian, her towhead might be bottled.
a recent survey of a supermarket shows that bleach and hair-coloring are still sold and show no signs of going extinct. recent trends indicate women continue to be shallow and vain where their appearance in concerned. so long story short, who gives a fuck?
84. Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.
wrong. reality check will tell you that 90%-95% of men have. because while you may not pay in cash, you're going to pay. don't bullshit yourself guys, you're going to pay one way or another to get sex. the question is, do you want to pay in the form of time/money spent on dates..... time spent "getting to know her"..... etc..... on the CHANCE she might give it up. or just cut to the chase and get some guaranteed sex?
83. Women always want to believe what you’re saying is true.
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! no wait.... let me catch my breath. *whew* HA HA HA HA!!!!!!
82. What do women really want in bed? More blankets. They get colder than men.
gotcha.
81. The threesome is not about you; it’s about the two girls. If you’re lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there’s a good chance it’ll end the relationship.
relationships come and go, but a visit to the threefold kingdom is magical and wonderful. trust me, nothing can take that away from you.
80. If women have an excuse to take a pill, they’ll take it.
ok..... that was random.....
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you’ve ever had.
translation: she didn't get mad skillz working the mic from the fruit and vegetable section. 37?
78. “I hate when my boyfriend is sweaty and tries to lie down on top of me or cuddle after I’ve come. Wait five minutes.”—Erin, 21
i'm calling bullshit on this one. back me up on this one guys, when we're done the deed our asses are asleep. sorry Erin, your boyfriend is a real closet case.
77. The average woman kisses 79 men before getting married.
in a row?
76. She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Blow her off for some gaming and she’ll soon stop wasting time on a dork like you.
i hate her arts and crafts more than i complain about. keep it up and i'll blow you off for some gaming.
75. Women who are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash.
yet another reason i'm a cat person.
74. “Girls who buy their men lap dances and pretend to enjoy it are kidding themselves. They’re trying to keep him happy with some controlled freedom.”—Suzy, 31
they're also gullible as fucking hell. you think YOU'RE the only one buying his lap dances? you think he only goes to the strip club with YOU? silly girl.
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
suckers. ah who am i kidding, i've been played like a fucking piano more than once or twice without a payoff for my troubles. i really wanted to tap those asses too. damn you hormones!!!!
72. During emergencies, women are likely to remain calmer than men. Though it should be noted that inventing minor crises on a weekly basis gives them more practice.
have you ever BEEN in an emergency??
71. “Women grow hairs in a lot of the same places that men do—lower abdomen, nipples—we just get rid of them.”—Katie, 26
that's just gross. i'm not ashamed to admit i'm pretty shallow when it comes to hair. i see it on her lip or anywhere besides the top of her head or downstairs (even then it better be short supply down there) and i'm gone. call me whatever you like.
70. Unless they’re lesbians, she won’t approve of your hanging out with other girls. Even if they’re ugly. And, really, even if they’re lesbians.
and really she's insecure and will probably push her man into banging as many of them as he can just for pissing him off.
69. If you have something to hide, she’ll find it.
the hell she will. you'll never be privy to all our secrets ladies. get over it. it's ok that we don't share every fuckin aspect of our lives with you.
68. Eighty-five: The number of males per 100 females in Gary, Indiana, lowest male-to-female ratio of any city with a population of 100,000-plus. The highest male-to-female ratio is in Salinas, California: 114 males for every 100 females.
ITT Tech in San Antonio: 10 females for every 100 males. of those, 4 are bangable.
67. Kiss her before two dates have gone by or you’ll be “friended.”
bang her before 3 dates or you'll be whipped as a puppy when she finally gives it up.
66. They can't live without tension. Every once in a while she's gonna pick a fight with you for no reason. Accept this as a running, inevitable theme and your relationship will make a lot more sense.
gentlemen pay attention: this will happen ONLY IF YOU LET IT!!!! fuck her and her drama. if she picks a fight and you know she's just doing it to fight, then you counter by throwing everything you possibly can at her. she's launching an attack and expecting you to roll over so she can placate her fucking female ego. you respond with the wrath of god. then when it's all done and the smoke clears, you pick a random fight with her as soon as it's done. fight back guys or she'll always have your balls in her purse.
65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
then return to the ocean like the spineless jellyfish you've become you pansy. fight back and be a man.
64. An online dating service’s survey found that a woman’s ideal man has brown hair and blue eyes.
how nice for them.
63. In the U.S., 21 percent of women ages 18 to 59 hold out for their honeymoon.
in the U.S., 21 percent of women are fucking lairs. or are convinced oral doesn't count.
62. A British study claims a woman’s chances of getting married drop by 40 percent for every 16-point rise in her IQ. The same increase in IQ for a man boosted his chances of getting married by 35 percent.
that makes no sense. how the hell do you even measure something like that?
61. When a woman tells you her problems, she does not want you to offer solutions.
when a man offers you solutions, he does not want to hear your problems.
60. Women often cite manhandling of breasts as the biggest foreplay faux pas.
too bad. those things are neat. c'mon ladies we don't ask much, just let us pet the kittens and we're all right.
59. “When I’m drunk, I can’t come. Not even with a vibrator.”—Lauren, 35
that ain't our problem. we're going to get ours. sorry honey.
58. If they're going to do it, most wives cheat between the ages of 18 and 29.
hmmm.... yup, yup, yup and yup. i agree.
57. Most women think they’re better drivers than they are. Don’t point this out while she’s at the wheel or she’ll freak and crash.
how comforting.
56. Women ingest about half the lipstick they apply, which means they eat approximately one to three sticks per year.
ewwwww....
54. A woman might say she just wants sex, but sleep with her for a while and she’ll change her tune. “I’ve known so many women who think they can pull this off, but they always develop feelings for the guy,” says Evie, 22.
suckers.
53. According to the American Association of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, Angelina Jolie’s lips were the most requested celebrity feature among all female patients in 2004.
the most requested among guys as well.
52. Despite always complimenting another woman’s short haircut, she secretly celebrates having one less competitor, since men prefer long hair.
agreed. funny thing is, the 2 girls i was most in love with both had really short hair when we first hooked up. i gotta stay away from short haired chicks.
51. Don’t call her “cute.” In her mind it’s the same as “not vomit-inducing.” “Sexy,” OK. “Hot,” yes. “Fucking awesome,” only if she’s at least slightly buzzed.
geez, sorry miss sensitive.
50. Women often buy shoes a size or two small because they’re in denial about the size of their feet—which they can’t stand.
cry me a freaking river.
49. They dream of one day peeing in a urinal.
ain't happening, sorry gals.
48. Women know where they stand looks-wise but worry about being considered cool, about which they’re unsure.
welcome to fragile-self-image-ville.... population.... all the women on the planet.
47. According to the U.S. Bureau of Statistics, 23 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women live with their parents, versus 31 percent of you losers.
ok let's get something straight. a fact that chicks don't like to acknowledge. careers at this point are still an OPTION for women. with a few exceptions you all always have the option of getting married and living off a guy for the rest of your life. don't get me wrong, my best friends wives are stay at home moms and i love them both like sisters, i'm not saying it's a bad thing. i'm just saying that it's fucked up that society makes no judgements on women who either live with their parents or are married and stay home versus a guy who lives with his parents.
46. Women want to talk dirty, but they’re afraid you won’t respect them in the morning. Reassure her that letting go in bed doesn’t make her less classy and she’ll probably go wild. Jäger helps.
well of COURSE i'll still respect you after you call me daddy and tell me to spank you like the filthy girl you are..... *snicker*
45. Twenty-three percent of this magazine’s readers are women.
great gals all of them.
44. A psycho jealous girl will do anything to keep her man—including anal.
god bless those girls too.
41. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it might mean she no longer cares what you think of her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about someone else’s opinion.
and you girls wonder why guys are so apathetic about what the hell you wear or your hair and shit.
40. About half of all brides will lose a good friend over a ridiculous bridesmaid squabble.
pathetic.
39. It never hurts to say you're sorry, even if you don't mean it.
it hurts even less to not say anything.
38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she’ll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.
so once again we're supposed to accept being bullied into flushing our pride down the john. yeah i'm going to go with FUCK THAT.
37. Women’s public bathrooms are about three times more disgusting than men’s.
there's a reason why..... keep reading.....
36. “At one point or another, I’ve gone through your things looking for any evidence from past relationships. I’m talking photographs, postcards, mementos, address books, diaries. If you don’t like it, get rid of this stuff before letting me in your apartment. It’s not about trust; it’s about curiosity, and it drives us crazy till it’s been satiated.”—Caroline, 28
so once again your crazy bat-shit behavior is all MY fault. nice.
35. Like you, girls hate nothing more than a clingy partner who needs them every eight seconds.
then don't date closet gay men.
34. Chick rock strikes a deeply primal chord inside women while simultaneously revolting men. Just sit back and let her sing the Sarah McLachlan or Ani DiFranco song. It’s only about four minutes long.
or give her some fucking headphones. fuck your music.
33. The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing. Shasta!
are you trying to gross us out? we're GUYS. we do shit like turning our underwear inside-out to get another day's use out of them.
32. Girls will not sit on any toilet outside their own home or a five-star hotel. Everywhere else they’re hovering above the toilet in a squat.
does #37 make sense now?
31. Got a new girl coming over? Your (tidy) bathroom should include clean linen, a box of Puffs Plus, and several full rolls of TP.
puffs plus? should we get some tampons too?
30. “Don’t caress our faces while we’re kissing, unless you really, really, really like us.”—Rachel, 21
uh, ok.
29. On a first date, women never order what they really want to eat.
just eat what you order then. we honestly care more about that than how MUCH you eat.
28. Breast augmentation surgery has grown by 257 percent since 1997. The most popular size? C-cup. As if you didn’t know.
didn't know, don't care. real or fake make shit difference to me and to most guys so don't try and pull that "we're doing it for YOU" shit.
27. Gain her trust when you’re out by calling her at 10 P.M. She’ll go to bed content you’re thinking of her, even if you’re slurping Jell-O shots off some skank’s cleavage.
yeah right. how stupid do you think we are?
26. Put down the Drakkar and grab a box of Good & Plenty. Women are turned on by the scent of black licorice.
look honey, i rubbed CANDY all over myself!!!! giggity giggity giggity!!!!
25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.
point her out and we'll make that lucky gal's dreams come true. bow chicka bow wow!!!!
24. A good but flawed man is a fixer-upper gem, and women love nothing more than home improvements.
and on the off chance you aren't that flawed, she'll find something to change in you. if you let her.
23. Every woman is self-conscious about her ass. Tell her you love her ass and you’ll see it more often.
does spanking it a lot work?
22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
failing that, break out the sex panther. i gotta tell ya, that smells like pure gasoline.
21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.
the other half broke the truck and ended up fat.
20. All women think they’re smarter than their partners in some significant way.
hee hee. silly girls.
19. The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.
so according to this list, find a girl who's scared stiff of losing you and with tons of piercings and you're on the road to back-door-loving.
18. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.
nah.
17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.
till she catches you in a lie. then suddenly she can't trust you.... blah blah blah.....
16. Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.
but remember, like Chris Rock says, your woman will do any nasty dirty skanky thing you want but you gotta come correct. none of this, "eh eh eh excuse me..... eh eh.... i have a request... eh eh eh.... would you eh... lick my balls?" otherwise you get, "WHAT!?!? lick your own damn balls!!" so guys make sure you ask proper.
15. Girls don’t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.
so she can stay home eat ice cream and cry waiting for you while she sets up a few charges of emotional C4 that she'll detonate the second you get home. lose-lose fellas.
14. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see—she'll just want to leave early.
translate to jimmy-talk: ditch the bitch.
13. “Women appreciate a big penis, but having one doesn’t give you an excuse to suck at foreplay.”—Elena, 28
yeah? well guys love big tits, but having them doesn't give you an excuse to not give head.
12. Studies show women are more attracted to “macho” guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they’re drawn to “good providers,” otherwise known as chumps.
so just leave it in "macho mode" take what you can get while she's ovulating, and the rest of the time you get to keep your fucking dignity.
11. She likes one of your friends.
if he's my friend then you don't have a chance in hell honey. if he isn't, he's a dead man. plain and simple. bros before hoes.
10. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.
you're all the same when the lights go out.
9. The minute she decides she’s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
gee, why are guys so afraid of commitment?
8. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L’Oréal (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).
popular color? i'm betting blonde.
7. Dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.
duh.
6. Rub a sheet of medium-grade sandpaper across your face. That’s your five o’clock shadow when you kiss her. Now rub that sandpaper on your inner thigh. (Mind you, we’re not suggesting you shave.)
we know, we just like giving you something legit to bitch about once in a while.
5. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.
comforting.
4. Foghat’s “Slow Ride” is not about a trip in the car. Get the hint?
Nine Inch Nail's "Closer" isn't about a trip to the zoo. get the hint?
3. The one breakup line she’ll never be able to argue you out of: “I’m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.”
yeah right.
2. Buying a present for your girl? She’ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.
excuuuuuse us for asking for advice from someone who might know what to get you.
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
once again, we don't care. as long as we're the only ones you're sleeping with NOW.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
Picture story
this is....
(a) very creative
(b) confusing as all hell
(c) awesome
(d) FUCKED UP
(e) all of the above
i pick "e"
(a) very creative
(b) confusing as all hell
(c) awesome
(d) FUCKED UP
(e) all of the above
i pick "e"
Friday, February 01, 2008
Firearms
Saw this online. I like it.
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
'Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.'
~ Thomas Jefferson
1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c)1791. All Rights Reserved.
11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 911: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
'Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.'
~ Thomas Jefferson
1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c)1791. All Rights Reserved.
11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 911: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Easy
Doucheville, USA. known as Berkeley, CA to the rest of you has decided to give the Marines the boot.
I got an easy solution to this problem. Pull the city's federal funding. All of it. They think they can do without the U.S. government then let's see the smug fucks do without the handouts.
UPDATE: Sen DeMint.... i salute you.
I got an easy solution to this problem. Pull the city's federal funding. All of it. They think they can do without the U.S. government then let's see the smug fucks do without the handouts.
UPDATE: Sen DeMint.... i salute you.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Funny
ladies and gentlemen i present the funniest musical number in movie history. EVER. EEEEVVVVEEERRRRR.
Friday, January 18, 2008
RIP Bobby Fischer
The chess world mourns a great loss.
Bobby Fischer died at 64.
While i am saddened at the loss of a great chess player, I'm not that sorry that this guy is dead. He turned into a total nutjob.
Bobby Fischer died at 64.
While i am saddened at the loss of a great chess player, I'm not that sorry that this guy is dead. He turned into a total nutjob.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Help
help me out here. i'm no lawyer, but last time i checked, this kind of thing happening is rape.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Real Life
i thought i'd plug something.
Greg Dean has launched a new book.
For those of you who don't know, Greg is the creator of a webcomic called Reallifecomic. He bases most of his stories on his life, hence the name. I've followed his work for quite a while and it's my favorite right up there with Penny Arcade. Anyway, about his new book. It's a notes book on his comic. It will get you up to speed on his comic.
Greg Dean has launched a new book.
For those of you who don't know, Greg is the creator of a webcomic called Reallifecomic. He bases most of his stories on his life, hence the name. I've followed his work for quite a while and it's my favorite right up there with Penny Arcade. Anyway, about his new book. It's a notes book on his comic. It will get you up to speed on his comic.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Peace
Who's ready to laugh?
Check this out and commence.
How some retard like Kuchinich got a smoking hot wife like her....
is beyond me.
Still, if we're going to elect based on the potential for first lady hotness.... Fred is the man. You can't tell me this gal for first lady isn't the coolest thought.
pics via here.
Check this out and commence.
How some retard like Kuchinich got a smoking hot wife like her....
is beyond me.
Still, if we're going to elect based on the potential for first lady hotness.... Fred is the man. You can't tell me this gal for first lady isn't the coolest thought.
pics via here.
Friday, January 04, 2008
overquoted movies
tonight's "tales of jackassery" we take you to a blog post by someone who decided he was going to tell us the 10 most obnoxiously overquoted movies.
ok, so here's my problems with the list.
1 - he didn't stay with 10. i mean jesus, his list had at #7 "anything with samuel l jackson". HUH? congrats retard, you just expanded the list from 10 to about 100. #4 was "the austin powers series". that's 3 you idiot. if the list is 10 then stay with 10.
2 - he didn't really take social crowds into consideration. maybe all HIS nimrod friends quote Napoleon Dynamite, but i'm afraid quoting it around my friends will get you a funny look and an ass-kicking.
3 - no history in context. monty python was the only movie older than 10 years. this jackass never heard "show me the money!!"???? i wanna poke people's eyes out when i hear that quoted and i've never even seen the movie (long story, i'll explain sometime why). maybe it's just some 10 year old kid blogging. come to think of it, given his amazing math skills, maybe he IS 10.
4 - the ancorman rant. he goes on some long-ass spiel about Will Farrell and when it comes time to list quotes.... half of them are Steve Carell lines. consistency there spanky. how about some consistency.
so anyways, just to show it isn't just all negative here in Rantville i'm going to help out by giving my own list. a list of movies that are fun to quote and people will never stop. unlike dumbass, i'm not going to set a number only to go over it by 100. so here's a list.
Movies We Love to Quote and Probably Won't Stop Any Time Soon
- anything by Mel Brooks. you can't go wrong quoting Mel movies. the man is a comedy god.
"hey where are the white women at?"
"we're not just doing this for money.....we're doing it for a SHITLOAD of money!!!"
"what in the wide wide world of sports is a going on here?!?!"
- the Naked Gun series. the 3rd one didn't quite live up to the hilarity of the other 2, but it was still great, and i like being able to see OJ on the TV and not say "oh god what has he done NOW?"
"nice beaver."
"Hey look! it's Enrico Pallazzo!!!"
"just think, the next time i shoot someone, i could be arrested."
"i've been swimming in raw sewage. i love it!"
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail. screw him, this movie never gets old. EVER.
"let's not bicker and argue about who killed who"
"have at you!!"
"she turned me into a newt!!"
- anything Arnold did prior to Twins. that isn't to say he hasn't done good movies since then, but after that he just never had quite the same.... i dunno. it just wasn't the same.
"crush your enemy, see him driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women!!"
"go ahead bennett, let off some steam."
"you remember when i said i'd kill you last? i lied."
"i'll be back"
"Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero!!"
random tangent...... i was on imdb checking out Conan the Barbarian. check out the trivia section. this is cool.
- Conan's response to the Mongol General is an abbreviation of a real quote attributed to Gengis Khan: "The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger had to tone down his workout, as his arm/chest muscles were so big that he couldn't wield a sword properly.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sandahl Bergman did their own stunts, as suitable body doubles couldn't be found.
- The life of Conan oddly mirrors that of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Conan's formative years are spent in a small village, then spent in hard manual labor as a slave. Then Conan gains fame and wealth through his physical prowess. Although at first given to wine and women, he eventually abandons his hedonism and uses his skills for acts of heroism. Eventually, Conan becomes a king. In real life, Schwarzenegger was born in a small Austrian village and spent his life bodybuilding. He then becomes famous and wealthy through bodybuilding competitions and action/adventure movies. Schwarzenegger engaged in drug use and womanizing in his past, but gave those up later in life and then campaigned for social causes. Eventually, he was elected Governor of California.
ok, so here's my problems with the list.
1 - he didn't stay with 10. i mean jesus, his list had at #7 "anything with samuel l jackson". HUH? congrats retard, you just expanded the list from 10 to about 100. #4 was "the austin powers series". that's 3 you idiot. if the list is 10 then stay with 10.
2 - he didn't really take social crowds into consideration. maybe all HIS nimrod friends quote Napoleon Dynamite, but i'm afraid quoting it around my friends will get you a funny look and an ass-kicking.
3 - no history in context. monty python was the only movie older than 10 years. this jackass never heard "show me the money!!"???? i wanna poke people's eyes out when i hear that quoted and i've never even seen the movie (long story, i'll explain sometime why). maybe it's just some 10 year old kid blogging. come to think of it, given his amazing math skills, maybe he IS 10.
4 - the ancorman rant. he goes on some long-ass spiel about Will Farrell and when it comes time to list quotes.... half of them are Steve Carell lines. consistency there spanky. how about some consistency.
so anyways, just to show it isn't just all negative here in Rantville i'm going to help out by giving my own list. a list of movies that are fun to quote and people will never stop. unlike dumbass, i'm not going to set a number only to go over it by 100. so here's a list.
Movies We Love to Quote and Probably Won't Stop Any Time Soon
- anything by Mel Brooks. you can't go wrong quoting Mel movies. the man is a comedy god.
"hey where are the white women at?"
"we're not just doing this for money.....we're doing it for a SHITLOAD of money!!!"
"what in the wide wide world of sports is a going on here?!?!"
- the Naked Gun series. the 3rd one didn't quite live up to the hilarity of the other 2, but it was still great, and i like being able to see OJ on the TV and not say "oh god what has he done NOW?"
"nice beaver."
"Hey look! it's Enrico Pallazzo!!!"
"just think, the next time i shoot someone, i could be arrested."
"i've been swimming in raw sewage. i love it!"
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail. screw him, this movie never gets old. EVER.
"let's not bicker and argue about who killed who"
"have at you!!"
"she turned me into a newt!!"
- anything Arnold did prior to Twins. that isn't to say he hasn't done good movies since then, but after that he just never had quite the same.... i dunno. it just wasn't the same.
"crush your enemy, see him driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women!!"
"go ahead bennett, let off some steam."
"you remember when i said i'd kill you last? i lied."
"i'll be back"
"Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero!!"
random tangent...... i was on imdb checking out Conan the Barbarian. check out the trivia section. this is cool.
- Conan's response to the Mongol General is an abbreviation of a real quote attributed to Gengis Khan: "The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger had to tone down his workout, as his arm/chest muscles were so big that he couldn't wield a sword properly.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sandahl Bergman did their own stunts, as suitable body doubles couldn't be found.
- The life of Conan oddly mirrors that of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Conan's formative years are spent in a small village, then spent in hard manual labor as a slave. Then Conan gains fame and wealth through his physical prowess. Although at first given to wine and women, he eventually abandons his hedonism and uses his skills for acts of heroism. Eventually, Conan becomes a king. In real life, Schwarzenegger was born in a small Austrian village and spent his life bodybuilding. He then becomes famous and wealthy through bodybuilding competitions and action/adventure movies. Schwarzenegger engaged in drug use and womanizing in his past, but gave those up later in life and then campaigned for social causes. Eventually, he was elected Governor of California.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
50 things
menshealth.com has done a "50 things men wish women knew" list. i give the mayor jimmy treatment. my comments are in italics.
1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.
yes yes dear god yes. this isn't the 50s. women can speak their minds. please do. i fucking hate when chicks sit there and let the conversation pass them by.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
oh yes. throw in the glistening sweat on your body and BAM!!!!
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
uh...ok? why tan?
4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
fuck that. she gets my full throttle driving every damn time. that was the very first thing that sealed it that Kristin (K2) and i had a future together, my driving didn't scare her. not even when we were driving back from Chris's wedding and i raced some dude from the Maryland State line into Baltimore at 130 MPH.
5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
plain and simple, just don't play hard to get PERIOD. that shit is fucking annoying. yes ha ha very funny you like to feel needed. that shit will backfire on you honey. i promise. like when he fucks some other girl who doesn't play games and just gives up the ass.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
meh... that depends on what we shop FOR. i like shopping for electronics.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.
key word, once. then please just shut your pie hole.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
can't a man take a shit in peace? this is why we fart in public. we're conditioning you to avoid us in bowel movement situations. we take our dumps seriously. grant us this peace.
9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
and if i am i will never tell you. ever. no matter how often you ask. and we aren't falling for that "you can say it i won't be mad" line. nice try.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
bros before hoes
11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
true. Kristen (K1) pretty much never wore makeup and she always looked great. it also makes it that much better when a girl does wear makeup if she isn't always wearing it.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.
unless you're sporting a unibrow.
13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
no really. ANY time. i've had sex while watching a NASCAR race. ah Jennifer, she was a nice gal.
14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
add to the experience, don't try and detract. that's the key. cheer with us, be elsewhere, or just shut the fuck up. don't sit and bug us or ask a TON of questions DURING the game.
15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
and cuz i'm a man. geez haven't you ever listened to a stand-up comedian?
16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
gotta disagree BIG time here. if i have a girlfriend i don't need to do it. and i'm happy to not have to need to.
17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.
but if it does..... GIGGITY!!!
18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
ANY time. Kristin (K2) and i once had sex in her closet while i was helping her pack to move in with me. that kind of spontaneous sexual outburst is awesome.
19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
yeah. i've always said that 75% of the enjoyment of sex for guys (well, for ME at least) is the response we get from her. the moaning, the clawing, the squirming around, the yelling.... it's ALL good.
20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.
or if you don't like the eurotrash, A Vette or Viper. sweet.
21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!
22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
and the more you do it, the easier it gets to just tune you out. sooner or later we're going to tunr you out no matter what you bitch about, even important things.
23. You’re really bad at faking it.
if i'm not doing something right then fucking tell me. unless of course you're going to tell me "make your cock grow bigger", then we're both out of luck.
24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.
it's either that or i start bugging you. pick your poison or get ready faster.
25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
i'm supposed to believe you don't know how to dress yourself? gimmie a fucking break.
26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
of course, then we're going to be REALLY late.
27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
there's nothing wrong with that is there?
28. Unless we're meeting my parents.
i trust her to be smart enough not to get whored up to meet her boyfriend's parents.
29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.
bottom line, have a point to the call or don't.
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.
well, skirts anyway.
31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
shit, you do that and you're pretty much guaranteed to get that ring a HELL of a lot faster.
32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
got an outfit you like us in? tell us.
33. We love ponytails.
second only to pigtails.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
i dunno bout all that. maybe this guy isn't too sure of himself. enthusiasm isn't bad. i'd say the biggest key is communication. verbal or body language.
35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.
i was more like "HOLY SHIT, I'M HAVING SEX!!!!!!" than anything. i'll never forget the next day at school. i might as well have hung a sign around my neck that said "i got laid". chris and cody both figured it out within like 15 seconds.
36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
hell yeah. touch me baby.
37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
cannot be overstated enough. boring girls SUCK.
38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
so there
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
i'm not sure if he's suggesting she pleasure herself in front of us. or just literally solve her own problem instead of bugging us. either one is cool with me.
40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
oh no. fuck no. i'm not watching a chick flik. period. you have girls-nite-out for that shit.
41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."
or like calling at work, have a point.
42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
it's true. seriously, what the hell did you ever see in me? kristen? carrie? yolanda? kristin?
43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
especially if it's meat.
44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.
maybe this guy. not me. if you can drive a car at 150 MPH, then i'm in love.
45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.
so STOP ASKING
46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
hint-fucking-hint
47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
on occasion. don't push it.
48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"
we got a bunch of sound clips that go off.
- admiral ackbar "it's a trap!!"
- captain picard "RED ALERT!!"
- that robot from lost in space "danger will robinson!!"
49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
we're useless like that.
50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.
unless you WANT me to say "the fuck you do honey."
and there's another list given the jimmy treatment.
1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you're wrong.
yes yes dear god yes. this isn't the 50s. women can speak their minds. please do. i fucking hate when chicks sit there and let the conversation pass them by.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
oh yes. throw in the glistening sweat on your body and BAM!!!!
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
uh...ok? why tan?
4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you're not in the car.
fuck that. she gets my full throttle driving every damn time. that was the very first thing that sealed it that Kristin (K2) and i had a future together, my driving didn't scare her. not even when we were driving back from Chris's wedding and i raced some dude from the Maryland State line into Baltimore at 130 MPH.
5. If you're truly interested in us, don't play hard to get.
plain and simple, just don't play hard to get PERIOD. that shit is fucking annoying. yes ha ha very funny you like to feel needed. that shit will backfire on you honey. i promise. like when he fucks some other girl who doesn't play games and just gives up the ass.
6. Shopping is a chore, not an activity.
meh... that depends on what we shop FOR. i like shopping for electronics.
7. When I screw up, go ahead and tell me--once.
key word, once. then please just shut your pie hole.
8. No question need ever be asked through a closed bathroom door if I'm inside. I love you less with each syllable you utter.
can't a man take a shit in peace? this is why we fart in public. we're conditioning you to avoid us in bowel movement situations. we take our dumps seriously. grant us this peace.
9. I'm hot for you, not your sister or your friend or your coworker.
and if i am i will never tell you. ever. no matter how often you ask. and we aren't falling for that "you can say it i won't be mad" line. nice try.
10. My guy friends. Not only are they not negotiable, they’re your best sign that I’m not a whack job.
bros before hoes
11. Don't be afraid to ditch the makeup. Natural is sexier.
true. Kristen (K1) pretty much never wore makeup and she always looked great. it also makes it that much better when a girl does wear makeup if she isn't always wearing it.
12. Leave the eyebrows alone. Plucked ain't pretty.
unless you're sporting a unibrow.
13. You can have sex with us any time you want. Seriously.
no really. ANY time. i've had sex while watching a NASCAR race. ah Jennifer, she was a nice gal.
14. When the game is on, we will pay attention to you if you're nice about it. Bark, and we shut down.
add to the experience, don't try and detract. that's the key. cheer with us, be elsewhere, or just shut the fuck up. don't sit and bug us or ask a TON of questions DURING the game.
15. I don't ask for directions because I’m just happy to be driving. Anywhere.
and cuz i'm a man. geez haven't you ever listened to a stand-up comedian?
16. Masturbation is merely practice for the big game. Encourage it.
gotta disagree BIG time here. if i have a girlfriend i don't need to do it. and i'm happy to not have to need to.
17. We crave hugs and hand-holding too. And no, it doesn't always have to lead to sex.
but if it does..... GIGGITY!!!
18. But you can have sex with us any time you want. Did we mention that?
ANY time. Kristin (K2) and i once had sex in her closet while i was helping her pack to move in with me. that kind of spontaneous sexual outburst is awesome.
19. There's no better sound in the world than you, having an orgasm.
yeah. i've always said that 75% of the enjoyment of sex for guys (well, for ME at least) is the response we get from her. the moaning, the clawing, the squirming around, the yelling.... it's ALL good.
20. Though the exhaust note of a Porsche Boxster is pretty damn fine, too.
or if you don't like the eurotrash, A Vette or Viper. sweet.
21. I just may lie to make you feel good. Don’t be angry about this. You really weren't looking for the truth anyway.
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!
22. When you get angry over some stupid little pointless thing, I question your intelligence.
and the more you do it, the easier it gets to just tune you out. sooner or later we're going to tunr you out no matter what you bitch about, even important things.
23. You’re really bad at faking it.
if i'm not doing something right then fucking tell me. unless of course you're going to tell me "make your cock grow bigger", then we're both out of luck.
24. If I offer my help while you're getting ready, it means you’re late.
it's either that or i start bugging you. pick your poison or get ready faster.
25. Never ask me to pick out your outfit. (See above.) I will invariably get it wrong and make us even more late.
i'm supposed to believe you don't know how to dress yourself? gimmie a fucking break.
26. Giving me two or three choices, however, can be fun. Assuming you will change outfits in front of me. Slowly.
of course, then we're going to be REALLY late.
27. Err on the side of hot; I love to show you off.
there's nothing wrong with that is there?
28. Unless we're meeting my parents.
i trust her to be smart enough not to get whored up to meet her boyfriend's parents.
29. When you call us at work "just to chat," we're not really listening; we're checking our e-mail.
bottom line, have a point to the call or don't.
30. Spring means baseball and skirts. Doesn't need to be a mini-skirt; it's been a long winter.
well, skirts anyway.
31. Chicks who drink beer are hot. Better yet: chicks who drink beer and watch the game. Better still: chicks who buy us a beer during the game.
shit, you do that and you're pretty much guaranteed to get that ring a HELL of a lot faster.
32. We don't mind being told we look good. Just don't call it a "cute outfit."
got an outfit you like us in? tell us.
33. We love ponytails.
second only to pigtails.
34. Being good in bed means a) enthusiasm; b) a sense of humor; and sometimes c) patience.
i dunno bout all that. maybe this guy isn't too sure of himself. enthusiasm isn't bad. i'd say the biggest key is communication. verbal or body language.
35. The first time? We're as nervous as you are.
i was more like "HOLY SHIT, I'M HAVING SEX!!!!!!" than anything. i'll never forget the next day at school. i might as well have hung a sign around my neck that said "i got laid". chris and cody both figured it out within like 15 seconds.
36. A random unexpected grope is always welcome, even in public. Especially in public.
hell yeah. touch me baby.
37. Make us laugh and we'll want to hang around.
cannot be overstated enough. boring girls SUCK.
38. Yes, I laugh really loud around the guys. And I always will, so deal.
so there
39. Sure, men stereotypically like to solve a woman's problems. But a woman who solves her own while we watch? Instant erection.
i'm not sure if he's suggesting she pleasure herself in front of us. or just literally solve her own problem instead of bugging us. either one is cool with me.
40. You can pick the movie, but have a reason.
oh no. fuck no. i'm not watching a chick flik. period. you have girls-nite-out for that shit.
41. Do not expect to have a conversation via text message unless you use the words "naked" and "waiting."
or like calling at work, have a point.
42. Sometimes we wonder why any woman would want to be with us, much less someone as amazing as you. So, thanks.
it's true. seriously, what the hell did you ever see in me? kristen? carrie? yolanda? kristin?
43. Anytime you cook for us, we're happy.
especially if it's meat.
44. If you can hit a golf ball 150 yards, we just might fall in love.
maybe this guy. not me. if you can drive a car at 150 MPH, then i'm in love.
45. No, I don't remember what he said next. Or she. Or anybody, for that matter. I'm a guy, not a tape recorder.
so STOP ASKING
46. We love you even more because you know we need to go out with the guys once in a while.
hint-fucking-hint
47. And we love it when you hang with us guys, too.
on occasion. don't push it.
48. We have a keen sense of imminent danger. It sounds like, "Do you think she's pretty?"
we got a bunch of sound clips that go off.
- admiral ackbar "it's a trap!!"
- captain picard "RED ALERT!!"
- that robot from lost in space "danger will robinson!!"
49. Don't rely on us for keeping you up on the news.
we're useless like that.
50. Never say, "I know you better than you know yourself." Nobody does.
unless you WANT me to say "the fuck you do honey."
and there's another list given the jimmy treatment.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Snowplow
Those wacky Japanese. now they've made a robot snowplow that scoops up snow in front, and poops out snow-bricks in back.
check it out
check it out
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Saved movies
11 movies made BETTER due to historical inaccuracy.
#5 - read the "why it would have sucked otherwise". i agree 1000%
#5 - read the "why it would have sucked otherwise". i agree 1000%
Friday, December 21, 2007
Confidence
my sister and i were watching a rerun of "so you think you can dance" earlier today. it got me thinking about confidence. see, there's different kinds of being confident.
- repeaters confidence. this is the person talking over and over about how confident they are. "you can do this, you can do this....." this is a scared bastard who's barely hanging on. fucking with this person is not only easy, but fun.
- confidence by proxy. mostly a team thing. you got one or two guys who are good to go and the other guys are counting on them to stay strong. this backfires though when the keystone guys get taken out. like if Kobe went down in a game. you can't tell me the rest of the Lakers wouldn't all want to just go back to the locker room and cry.
- straight denial. this is the confidence you see mostly on fat chicks. you know the ones. "i look GOOD...." no honey you don't. you're fat as hell and the guys only pay attention because you put out and you give good head. come to think of it, it's pretty much only chicks who have this kind of confidence.
- OVERconfidence. this is kinda like denial but mostly found on guys. you know, like the guys who are screaming at nobody. "ALL RIGHT LET'S DO THIS!!!! I AM GOING TO FUCKING ROCK THIS SHIT!!!! WOO!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!" just stay the hell away from these guys and have a camera ready.
- gang leader. this is being confident because you got people backing you up. pretty much any pussy in a gang. he's all mouth and shit talk because he's got his boys backing him up. get this guy alone and he's a little bitch. pathetic.
- false confidence. this is the kind you see in movie stars and celebs. they have people kissing their asses nonstop so pretty soon they figure nothing they do is wrong. honestly, i don't blame them for it. any damn one of us would act the same way if we had people reacting to us the way people react towards celebs now. you're full of shit if you think you wouldn't.
- genuine confidence. this one is easy to spot. it's the person who isn't saying anything. someone who is sure of them self doesn't need to flaunt it.
- repeaters confidence. this is the person talking over and over about how confident they are. "you can do this, you can do this....." this is a scared bastard who's barely hanging on. fucking with this person is not only easy, but fun.
- confidence by proxy. mostly a team thing. you got one or two guys who are good to go and the other guys are counting on them to stay strong. this backfires though when the keystone guys get taken out. like if Kobe went down in a game. you can't tell me the rest of the Lakers wouldn't all want to just go back to the locker room and cry.
- straight denial. this is the confidence you see mostly on fat chicks. you know the ones. "i look GOOD...." no honey you don't. you're fat as hell and the guys only pay attention because you put out and you give good head. come to think of it, it's pretty much only chicks who have this kind of confidence.
- OVERconfidence. this is kinda like denial but mostly found on guys. you know, like the guys who are screaming at nobody. "ALL RIGHT LET'S DO THIS!!!! I AM GOING TO FUCKING ROCK THIS SHIT!!!! WOO!!!!!! YEAH BABY!!!!!" just stay the hell away from these guys and have a camera ready.
- gang leader. this is being confident because you got people backing you up. pretty much any pussy in a gang. he's all mouth and shit talk because he's got his boys backing him up. get this guy alone and he's a little bitch. pathetic.
- false confidence. this is the kind you see in movie stars and celebs. they have people kissing their asses nonstop so pretty soon they figure nothing they do is wrong. honestly, i don't blame them for it. any damn one of us would act the same way if we had people reacting to us the way people react towards celebs now. you're full of shit if you think you wouldn't.
- genuine confidence. this one is easy to spot. it's the person who isn't saying anything. someone who is sure of them self doesn't need to flaunt it.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
2008 in movies
2008 should be box office gold.
what I'm looking forward to most?
- Rambo (the trailers are great, and Stallone did a damn good job bringing Rocky back)
- Iron Man (seriously though, who ISN'T looking forward to this one? you suck if you aren't)
- Speed Racer (it's either going to be really really good or suck something fierce.)
- Semi-Pro (i think will farrell is going to be doing every sport. i look forward to his chess movie.)
- The Dark Knight (will Ledger do Joker justice? early reports seem to say YES.)
what I'm looking forward to most?
- Rambo (the trailers are great, and Stallone did a damn good job bringing Rocky back)
- Iron Man (seriously though, who ISN'T looking forward to this one? you suck if you aren't)
- Speed Racer (it's either going to be really really good or suck something fierce.)
- Semi-Pro (i think will farrell is going to be doing every sport. i look forward to his chess movie.)
- The Dark Knight (will Ledger do Joker justice? early reports seem to say YES.)
Greenpeace mad again
it's always something with these douchebags isn't it? well this time, greenpeace is hoping mad because a Japanese aquarium is putting santa hats on whales.
read for yourself
you can't make this stuff up.
my only question in this is, why is this news? why is greenpeace making a stink about this and getting some coverage while untold masses of dogs are subjected to doggie t-shirts and costumes on a regular basis? why aren't we kicking THOSE people upside the head? i hate dogs, but for god's sake i would at least allow them to keep their dignity.
read for yourself
you can't make this stuff up.
my only question in this is, why is this news? why is greenpeace making a stink about this and getting some coverage while untold masses of dogs are subjected to doggie t-shirts and costumes on a regular basis? why aren't we kicking THOSE people upside the head? i hate dogs, but for god's sake i would at least allow them to keep their dignity.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Fight Scenes
way back when i was in Afghanistan i was working on a series of lists. It was a bunch of lists under the massive heading "best fight scene". it was a series since there are so many ways to classify fight scenes. guns or no guns? weapons or hand-to-hand? best music? vehicles? i never really got anywhere with it. in fact i only got a few entires into the "best start to a fight" list. i found it while digging up some old documents i had backed up on CD. here you go.
BEST START.
1 – CONAN THE DESTROYER. The crypt fight. Conan whipping out a knife and with a simple “Enough talk!!” he starts some shit. Classic Arnold.
2 – SUPERMAN 2. The big showdown. This was a great opening to a great fight. “Come son of jor-el, kneel before zod!!!” how much better does it get? This was not only a great opening, but it set the stage for a classic comedy moment in Mallrats. You better know what I’m talking about.
3 – STAR WARS RETURN OF THE JEDI. There are several fights in this movie that all start great. Like the pit of Carkoon. Everyone is held captive, about to be executed, Luke is walking the plank and things couldn’t looks worse. And in the span of a couple seconds with a simple hand-signal Luke signals R2 and next thing you know he’s gone from about-to-die-captive to opening-can-of-whoopass-jedi. That’s just friggin awesome. The lightsaber duel between father and son. Luke gives into the dark side and gets ready strike down the emperor. But there’s darth…..it makes it clear to Luke he can’t escape a confrontation with him.
4 – DESPERADO. The big showdown between Antonio and his boys against the bad guys. “let’s play.” Simple yet effective.
5 – MATRIX. Lobby shootout. I think we all reacted the same as the guard when Neo opened the jacket showing a fucking arsenal underneath. “holy shit!”
6 – ALIENS. The fight in the cooling tower area. “Let’s rock!!!!” that’s awesome. Vasquez was such a badass.
BEST START.
1 – CONAN THE DESTROYER. The crypt fight. Conan whipping out a knife and with a simple “Enough talk!!” he starts some shit. Classic Arnold.
2 – SUPERMAN 2. The big showdown. This was a great opening to a great fight. “Come son of jor-el, kneel before zod!!!” how much better does it get? This was not only a great opening, but it set the stage for a classic comedy moment in Mallrats. You better know what I’m talking about.
3 – STAR WARS RETURN OF THE JEDI. There are several fights in this movie that all start great. Like the pit of Carkoon. Everyone is held captive, about to be executed, Luke is walking the plank and things couldn’t looks worse. And in the span of a couple seconds with a simple hand-signal Luke signals R2 and next thing you know he’s gone from about-to-die-captive to opening-can-of-whoopass-jedi. That’s just friggin awesome. The lightsaber duel between father and son. Luke gives into the dark side and gets ready strike down the emperor. But there’s darth…..it makes it clear to Luke he can’t escape a confrontation with him.
4 – DESPERADO. The big showdown between Antonio and his boys against the bad guys. “let’s play.” Simple yet effective.
5 – MATRIX. Lobby shootout. I think we all reacted the same as the guard when Neo opened the jacket showing a fucking arsenal underneath. “holy shit!”
6 – ALIENS. The fight in the cooling tower area. “Let’s rock!!!!” that’s awesome. Vasquez was such a badass.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Global Carbon tax
Hey UN, fuck you.
UN wants to steal U.S. money disguised as fighting global warming.
if this shit passes, i'm done paying taxes. come put me in prison, i don't give a fuck. i am not handing over my money so it can be handed to these fuckholes.
UN wants to steal U.S. money disguised as fighting global warming.
if this shit passes, i'm done paying taxes. come put me in prison, i don't give a fuck. i am not handing over my money so it can be handed to these fuckholes.
WTF moment
today's "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" moment is brought to you by Josh Ballard, the mayor of rantville's brother.
So Sportscenter is asking a question that pretty much made my head explode.
"will snow be the equalizer in the Jets-Pats game?"
I'm sorry but am i in an episode of Sliders? did i somehow shift into a parallel universe in which Boston is in Arizona or Miami? because last time i checked, Boston got just as much if not more snow than New York.
so to the geniuses at ESPN i say to you, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?"
So Sportscenter is asking a question that pretty much made my head explode.
"will snow be the equalizer in the Jets-Pats game?"
I'm sorry but am i in an episode of Sliders? did i somehow shift into a parallel universe in which Boston is in Arizona or Miami? because last time i checked, Boston got just as much if not more snow than New York.
so to the geniuses at ESPN i say to you, "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?"
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Bioshock vs Incredibles
part of why i used to write in this blog is to point out how fucking retarded other people are. so i can show what stupid things they say. you the reader get to read these things and then laugh with me. i've been slacking off. so here's something to get it started again.
some jackass decided to compare the video game Bioshock (which is a great game) and the Disney film The Incredibles.
you can read it and draw your own conclusions. my conclusion is that he really really missed the fucking point.
- celebrating mediocrity. Bob's rant on celebrating mediocrity was meant as a critique on how pitiful modern society has made or is making kids. it was meant as a spit in the eye of every stupid sports league that insists EVERYONE gets a trophy no matter how shitty you play or how little effort you give. which leads to my next point.
- "and when everyone's special, no one will be" that quote from the movie spells it out. when you start rewarding everyone for doing the smallest of things, then the real accomplishments will mean nothing.
- this part was just plain funny.
My law professor once called "The Incredibles" a "Republican movie." There are those that are incredible, there are those that aren't incredible, and that's just the way life is. You have to just have "it" in you (i.e. in the "Republican" analogy, "it" would be wealth, power, or an overriding desire for those things) and if you don't, you're looked down upon. When I first heard him, I didn't really know what the hell he was talking about. But now, I think I've come to terms with it.
kinda slow on the uptake aren't you? it took me 2 seconds to figure out what your jackass liberal douche of a law professor was talking about. he sees the world as all liberals see it. the rich are evil and think that everyone who isn't rich is beneath them. it is the government's DUTY to take their money and give it to the poor, whether they earned it or not.
- he barely mentioned Bioshock. the point of which was that some form of authority is always going to come about and that if left unchecked it will always go out of control.
bottom line: what a moron.
some jackass decided to compare the video game Bioshock (which is a great game) and the Disney film The Incredibles.
you can read it and draw your own conclusions. my conclusion is that he really really missed the fucking point.
- celebrating mediocrity. Bob's rant on celebrating mediocrity was meant as a critique on how pitiful modern society has made or is making kids. it was meant as a spit in the eye of every stupid sports league that insists EVERYONE gets a trophy no matter how shitty you play or how little effort you give. which leads to my next point.
- "and when everyone's special, no one will be" that quote from the movie spells it out. when you start rewarding everyone for doing the smallest of things, then the real accomplishments will mean nothing.
- this part was just plain funny.
My law professor once called "The Incredibles" a "Republican movie." There are those that are incredible, there are those that aren't incredible, and that's just the way life is. You have to just have "it" in you (i.e. in the "Republican" analogy, "it" would be wealth, power, or an overriding desire for those things) and if you don't, you're looked down upon. When I first heard him, I didn't really know what the hell he was talking about. But now, I think I've come to terms with it.
kinda slow on the uptake aren't you? it took me 2 seconds to figure out what your jackass liberal douche of a law professor was talking about. he sees the world as all liberals see it. the rich are evil and think that everyone who isn't rich is beneath them. it is the government's DUTY to take their money and give it to the poor, whether they earned it or not.
- he barely mentioned Bioshock. the point of which was that some form of authority is always going to come about and that if left unchecked it will always go out of control.
bottom line: what a moron.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Edwards: don't vote for me
democrat Presidential hopeful Edwards has some ideas he wants to put in play. and boy do they SUCK.
from this article in Concord Monitor
he'll institute a New Deal-like suite of programs to fight poverty and stem growing wealth disparity
for the love of god, why does this trend of hating the rich continue? these are the people who create work for the poor. how much longer do you think you can keep shitting on them till they just up and leave?
To do it, he said, he'll ask many Americans to make sacrifices, like paying higher taxes.
because asking the poor to get off their asses and WORK for it just wouldn't be feasible.
says the federal government should underwrite universal pre-kindergarten
right, since public schools are SOOOOOO well run right now. let's start fucking the kids up EARLIER!!!
create matching savings accounts for low-income people
translation: rob from rich and give to poor. they didn't earn it, but you're an evil bastard if you don't think they deserve it!!!
mandate a minimum wage of $9.50
let's see if we can't run small businesses into the ground even FASTER.
and provide a million new Section 8 housing vouchers for the poor
cuz that'll be cheap.
He also pledged to start a government-funded public higher education program called "College for Everyone."
how bout you fix the current college system before thrusting MORE people into it?
if i have to see a demmycrat in the oval office, i'd rather it be Obama.
from this article in Concord Monitor
he'll institute a New Deal-like suite of programs to fight poverty and stem growing wealth disparity
for the love of god, why does this trend of hating the rich continue? these are the people who create work for the poor. how much longer do you think you can keep shitting on them till they just up and leave?
To do it, he said, he'll ask many Americans to make sacrifices, like paying higher taxes.
because asking the poor to get off their asses and WORK for it just wouldn't be feasible.
says the federal government should underwrite universal pre-kindergarten
right, since public schools are SOOOOOO well run right now. let's start fucking the kids up EARLIER!!!
create matching savings accounts for low-income people
translation: rob from rich and give to poor. they didn't earn it, but you're an evil bastard if you don't think they deserve it!!!
mandate a minimum wage of $9.50
let's see if we can't run small businesses into the ground even FASTER.
and provide a million new Section 8 housing vouchers for the poor
cuz that'll be cheap.
He also pledged to start a government-funded public higher education program called "College for Everyone."
how bout you fix the current college system before thrusting MORE people into it?
if i have to see a demmycrat in the oval office, i'd rather it be Obama.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Venting
- so lemme see if i get this right..... Democrats outright LIE about Rush Limbaugh (and yes that's what they did. they didn't misunderstand or take him out of context or any of that bullshit they fucking knew they were telling lies.) He turns it around on them and raises 4 million bucks for charity. Now they're trying to take credit for it. What kills me is the amount of outrage that SHOULD be out there but isn't.
- Just so all you non-technical people out there understand, if you have a computer that is 4 or 5 years old or older.... and it's running slow or you're having problems.... just buy a new one. The only way you're getting more than 5 years out of a PC is if you only run the programs it came with and you don't go online. Plain and simple.
- This week we actually had a couple days where it FELT like it was fall out. Short lived I'm afraid.
- what pisses me off the most about my love life is that when i sit and think about it, no matter how i played my cards it was inevitable i was going to end up alone, miserable, and pissed. It's lose-lose. If i could wave a wand and take all the pain of my past failed relationships away.... poof.... i lose the experiences and thus the lessons they taught. the same lessons and experiences which taught me that i will never be able to hold a relationship together. without THAT knowledge, I'll be just like all the rest of the single people out there who think "the right one just hasn't come along" and I'll keep playing the lottery of love. which leads to me getting into and failing at more relationships, which leads to the experience, which leads to right where I'm at now.
- I'd like to think i took more from my relationships than just harsh learning experiences. each girl offered something different and i miss very specific things about them. with Kristen (k1) i miss feeling an ignorant love. i loved her and i never knew an unhappy moment whenever we were together. i miss feeling that first love. with Carrie i miss the raw passion. locking eyes and knowing that you fit with that person perfectly. i hope for both our sakes we never meet again because i don't think i could keep away from her. with Yolanda i miss feeling loved. to this day i feel bad about just how much she cared about me and the relationship didn't work. and with Kristin (k2) i miss the feeling like i had actually achieved as close as I'll ever get to a family. sharing an apartment with a girlfriend and 2 cats. that's as close as i got to the white picket fence and 2.3 kids that my friends are living. i never told her but after we got kitty and jack i really did think of us as a family. maybe i should have. in any case, looking back it's all moot. no matter the girl, i find a way to screw it up. thus here i am.
- Just so all you non-technical people out there understand, if you have a computer that is 4 or 5 years old or older.... and it's running slow or you're having problems.... just buy a new one. The only way you're getting more than 5 years out of a PC is if you only run the programs it came with and you don't go online. Plain and simple.
- This week we actually had a couple days where it FELT like it was fall out. Short lived I'm afraid.
- what pisses me off the most about my love life is that when i sit and think about it, no matter how i played my cards it was inevitable i was going to end up alone, miserable, and pissed. It's lose-lose. If i could wave a wand and take all the pain of my past failed relationships away.... poof.... i lose the experiences and thus the lessons they taught. the same lessons and experiences which taught me that i will never be able to hold a relationship together. without THAT knowledge, I'll be just like all the rest of the single people out there who think "the right one just hasn't come along" and I'll keep playing the lottery of love. which leads to me getting into and failing at more relationships, which leads to the experience, which leads to right where I'm at now.
- I'd like to think i took more from my relationships than just harsh learning experiences. each girl offered something different and i miss very specific things about them. with Kristen (k1) i miss feeling an ignorant love. i loved her and i never knew an unhappy moment whenever we were together. i miss feeling that first love. with Carrie i miss the raw passion. locking eyes and knowing that you fit with that person perfectly. i hope for both our sakes we never meet again because i don't think i could keep away from her. with Yolanda i miss feeling loved. to this day i feel bad about just how much she cared about me and the relationship didn't work. and with Kristin (k2) i miss the feeling like i had actually achieved as close as I'll ever get to a family. sharing an apartment with a girlfriend and 2 cats. that's as close as i got to the white picket fence and 2.3 kids that my friends are living. i never told her but after we got kitty and jack i really did think of us as a family. maybe i should have. in any case, looking back it's all moot. no matter the girl, i find a way to screw it up. thus here i am.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Conan
With the aid of youtube, we see that Conan O'Brian is the funniest man on TV.
and a few more clips......
ASS
Best Emmy host ever.
and a few more clips......
ASS
Best Emmy host ever.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Nationwide Cup
So i see this on ESPN.com and wonder:
Is there ANYTHING cool or macho about NASCAR anymore?
- no more Winston cup, now we got the nextel soon to be sprint cup.
- bud sponsors a driver who doesn't look old enough to drink the product.
- safety and fairness has made it so drivers can't look at each other mean without penalty.
- now the Busch series is going.
said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not sorry i stopped following this sport. it's only going to get worse.
Is there ANYTHING cool or macho about NASCAR anymore?
- no more Winston cup, now we got the nextel soon to be sprint cup.
- bud sponsors a driver who doesn't look old enough to drink the product.
- safety and fairness has made it so drivers can't look at each other mean without penalty.
- now the Busch series is going.
said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not sorry i stopped following this sport. it's only going to get worse.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Hazing shmazing
interesting little story about 3 high school football players under arrest for sexual assault on another player.
first person who tries to defend their actions as "hazing gone out of control" or even brings up "hazing" should be horsewhipped till they pass out. this was attempted gay rape. like the kind that goes on in prison. nothing more. calling it "hazing" doesn't make it true any more than calling a blind person "visually impaired" gives them the ability to see.
and a newsflash to all you frat guys out there. if you ever partook in anything like this. if you shoved anything up your ass, shoved something in another guy's ass, or did anything to another guy in the nude, you're gay. go ahead and tell yourself "it's just initiation rituals" all you like. that kind of shit is queer as a 3 dollar bill.
first person who tries to defend their actions as "hazing gone out of control" or even brings up "hazing" should be horsewhipped till they pass out. this was attempted gay rape. like the kind that goes on in prison. nothing more. calling it "hazing" doesn't make it true any more than calling a blind person "visually impaired" gives them the ability to see.
and a newsflash to all you frat guys out there. if you ever partook in anything like this. if you shoved anything up your ass, shoved something in another guy's ass, or did anything to another guy in the nude, you're gay. go ahead and tell yourself "it's just initiation rituals" all you like. that kind of shit is queer as a 3 dollar bill.
Links
Thought i'd just throw some links around.
an old internet favorite of mine. cats is cool.
Hilarious Robot Chicken. The GI Joe part is too good.
Conando!!
an old internet favorite of mine. cats is cool.
Hilarious Robot Chicken. The GI Joe part is too good.
Conando!!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Dishwasher blues
See this is what i'm talking about.
When are illegals going to learn? We don't treat you like criminals because we hate foreigners or we're afraid of someone coming to pursue the American dream. we treat you like criminals because YOU ARE. i would think the term "illegal alien" was pretty fucking self-explanatory.
For 11 years, Pedro Zapeta, an illegal immigrant from Guatemala, lived his version of the American dream in Stuart, Florida: washing dishes and living frugally to bring money back to his home country.
remove "illegal" and we have a genuine good story. Pedro is now someone i applaud and feel good for. Oh but that isn't the case. So much for it being a good story.
Two years ago, Zapeta was ready to return to Guatemala, so he carried a duffel bag filled with $59,000 -- all the cash he had scrimped and saved over the years -- to the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.
*cue ominous music*
Zapeta, who speaks no English, said he didn't know he was running afoul of U.S. law by failing to declare he was carrying more than $10,000 with him. Anyone entering or leaving the country with more than $10,000 has to fill out a one-page form declaring the money to U.S. customs.
you know what screw the customs law for a second. this guy spent 11 YEARS here and didn't bother learning english? you gotta be fucking kidding me. you wanna play the "national pride" card and say "screw you i'm not learning your language" fine. but do not fucking expect us to cut you any slack when you can't comprende our laws because you can't communicate in OUR language jerkoff.
Officials initially accused Zapeta of being a courier for the drug trade, but they dropped the allegation once he produced pay stubs from restaurants where he had worked.
let's see, hispanic guy who doesn't speak english walking into an airport with 59 Gs in a duffle bag. nope i'm as shocked as you are that any red flags went up. what a bunch of racist bastards.
"They are treating me like a criminal when all I am is a working man," he said.
bad news Pedro. you're BOTH. being a working man does not cancel out the criminal part. sorry.
When are illegals going to learn? We don't treat you like criminals because we hate foreigners or we're afraid of someone coming to pursue the American dream. we treat you like criminals because YOU ARE. i would think the term "illegal alien" was pretty fucking self-explanatory.
For 11 years, Pedro Zapeta, an illegal immigrant from Guatemala, lived his version of the American dream in Stuart, Florida: washing dishes and living frugally to bring money back to his home country.
remove "illegal" and we have a genuine good story. Pedro is now someone i applaud and feel good for. Oh but that isn't the case. So much for it being a good story.
Two years ago, Zapeta was ready to return to Guatemala, so he carried a duffel bag filled with $59,000 -- all the cash he had scrimped and saved over the years -- to the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport.
*cue ominous music*
Zapeta, who speaks no English, said he didn't know he was running afoul of U.S. law by failing to declare he was carrying more than $10,000 with him. Anyone entering or leaving the country with more than $10,000 has to fill out a one-page form declaring the money to U.S. customs.
you know what screw the customs law for a second. this guy spent 11 YEARS here and didn't bother learning english? you gotta be fucking kidding me. you wanna play the "national pride" card and say "screw you i'm not learning your language" fine. but do not fucking expect us to cut you any slack when you can't comprende our laws because you can't communicate in OUR language jerkoff.
Officials initially accused Zapeta of being a courier for the drug trade, but they dropped the allegation once he produced pay stubs from restaurants where he had worked.
let's see, hispanic guy who doesn't speak english walking into an airport with 59 Gs in a duffle bag. nope i'm as shocked as you are that any red flags went up. what a bunch of racist bastards.
"They are treating me like a criminal when all I am is a working man," he said.
bad news Pedro. you're BOTH. being a working man does not cancel out the criminal part. sorry.
Zapeta's story became public last year on CNN and in The Palm Beach Post newspaper, prompting well-wishers to give him nearly $10,000 -- money that now sits in a trust.
Robert Gershman, one of Zapeta's attorneys, said federal prosecutors later offered his client a deal: He could take $10,000 of the original cash seized, plus $9,000 in donations as long as he didn't talk publicly and left the country immediately.
Zapeta said, "No." He wanted all his money. He'd earned it, he said.
Now, according to Gershman, the Internal Revenue Service wants access to the donated cash to cover taxes on the donations and on the money Zapeta made as a dishwasher. Zapeta admits he never paid taxes.
ok so now we can throw tax evasion on the list. boy you really don't think ANY of our laws apply to you do you Pedro? See this is what i mean. i can understand and respect to degree, someone fighting for a chance to make their lives better. but this whole "fuck you America i'll come do whatever i please how DARE you get in my way with your LAWS and RULES" attitude has got to fucking go. i hope Pedro gets tossed out on his ass.Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Help me out here
Maybe i'm just crazy, but i could have sworn that civil rights....due process....all that stuff. Applied to LEGAL CITIZENS only.
a few wetbacks and their publicity-hungry lawyer disagree
a few wetbacks and their publicity-hungry lawyer disagree
Moron ex soldier
Some jackass is trying to "make a difference"
a soldier is returning his medals in protest. he says he feels the war is a waste to taxpayer money and has accomplished nothing.
oh did i mention this retard
- did just 1 year
- in the army reserve
- spent his time issuing ammo to the REAL soldiers
- never fired a weapon
oh my god, we should all listen to this guy!!! he's got the pulse of the WHOLE WAR figured out totally!!!! he's in a position to tell us how EVERYTHING is really going. i mean, why listen to Generals who run the whole thing when we can take a clue from some supply jockey passing out ammo instead of shooting it?
I'm predicting this guy will be on Bill Mahar's show in a month. He loves the morons. then again, i heard he loves the cock too.
a soldier is returning his medals in protest. he says he feels the war is a waste to taxpayer money and has accomplished nothing.
oh did i mention this retard
- did just 1 year
- in the army reserve
- spent his time issuing ammo to the REAL soldiers
- never fired a weapon
I'm predicting this guy will be on Bill Mahar's show in a month. He loves the morons. then again, i heard he loves the cock too.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Four things
Got this in an email from a friend. I'll just fill it out on here. Like it says over there in the upper right.... GET TO KNOW ME!!!!
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Bowling alley lane attendant
2. Car Dealership Porter
3. QVC phone rep
4. Barnes and Nobels clerk
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Dumb and Dumber
2. Spaceballs
3. Matrix Reloaded
4. Clerks
Four places I have lived:
1. Khandahar, Afghanistan
2. Limestone, Maine
3. US Air Force Academy Prep School
4. Vogelweh, Germany
Four TV Shows that I watch:
1. Family Guy
2. Robot Chicken
3. Football
4. Around The Horn
Four places I have been:
1. Port Douglas, Australia
2. Bangkok, Thailand
3. Tashkent, Uzbekistan
4. Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan
Four people who e-mail me:
1. Robbie
2. Josh
3. Yolanda
4. Courtney (after all, she sent this)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Steak, Rare, covered in A1
2. Pizza
3. Chicken Fried Rice no veggies from PF Changs
4. Burger with Bacon on it
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Pattaya Thailand
2. Collecting a lottery check for $100 million
3. In bed with Suzy Kolber
4. High Rollin on the Vegas Strip
Four people I think will respond:
1. Courtney (she better!!!)
2. Cynthia
3. ?
4. that's it. i think they're the only ones who read this blog anymore
Things I am looking forward to this year:
1. another paycheck
2. Mass Effect for the PC
3. some more PC games
4. hell if i know
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Bowling alley lane attendant
2. Car Dealership Porter
3. QVC phone rep
4. Barnes and Nobels clerk
Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Dumb and Dumber
2. Spaceballs
3. Matrix Reloaded
4. Clerks
Four places I have lived:
1. Khandahar, Afghanistan
2. Limestone, Maine
3. US Air Force Academy Prep School
4. Vogelweh, Germany
Four TV Shows that I watch:
1. Family Guy
2. Robot Chicken
3. Football
4. Around The Horn
Four places I have been:
1. Port Douglas, Australia
2. Bangkok, Thailand
3. Tashkent, Uzbekistan
4. Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan
Four people who e-mail me:
1. Robbie
2. Josh
3. Yolanda
4. Courtney (after all, she sent this)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Steak, Rare, covered in A1
2. Pizza
3. Chicken Fried Rice no veggies from PF Changs
4. Burger with Bacon on it
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Pattaya Thailand
2. Collecting a lottery check for $100 million
3. In bed with Suzy Kolber
4. High Rollin on the Vegas Strip
Four people I think will respond:
1. Courtney (she better!!!)
2. Cynthia
3. ?
4. that's it. i think they're the only ones who read this blog anymore
Things I am looking forward to this year:
1. another paycheck
2. Mass Effect for the PC
3. some more PC games
4. hell if i know
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Commercials
Commercials have gone nuts. It's a hodge-podge of insanity, non-logic, or total BS.
- Burger King hasn't made a normal commercial in years. in fact, i can't remember the last normal commercial they had. there sure as hell hasn't been a normal one since they introduced the bobblehead-looking King. That fucker is creepy. i don't look at that and say, "mmmm.....whoppers...." i think "that bastard comes near me i'm cracking his giant head open and feasting on the goo inside."
- Visa. yes, of course i believe that the touch-and-go cards work THAT fast. look, i'm all for using a card over cash but come ON. this assembly-line horseshit is retarded. i dunno about the rest of you, but i know that for some reason i ALWAYS get stuck in line behind some dumbass who takes 10 minutes to buy a stick of gum. to add to the frustration of it, after i wait 10 minutes in line you know how long it take ME to check out? like 20 seconds. yeah. oh and while we're on the Visa commercials, i laugh out loud when the Saints one comes on. you mean the 0-2 saints? those sucky bunch of sucks that ever sucked a suck? i think we're all tired of New Orleans now. i know i was from the start. Soon as this abortion of a season comes to a close for them and everyone returns to reality and says "oh yeah, nobody ever liked the saints to begin with". then the owner move forward with what he was already trying to do pre-katrina, move the team to a town that isn't a shithole.
- I read that Alicia Silverstone (didn't she used to be a movie star or something?) appears nude in a PETA ad. Those cockjockeys can try all they like to spin this as "we're trying to educate people on the cruelty going on" all they fucking please. It's nothing more than holier-than-thou fucktards telling people how to live their life. plain and simple. same as environmentalist assholes, religions, and pretty much every politician ever.
- oh and i almost forgot. COORS. those guys talking to clips of coaches. NOT FUNNY. not even close. it's sad. Miller? while i enjoy what's his name from Scrubs, this whole "one beer league" thing is just another pathetic commercial in a long string of "please stop drinking budweiser" commercials. i've said it before and i'll say it again: nothing says "we're bitter losers and all we can think of is to take shots at the guy who's #1" like a commercial that directly attacks a competitor. sad. Budweiser just focuses on making funny as hell commercials. maybe the rest of you losers should focus on making better BEER.
- Domino's pizza. the oreo pizza beard thing? creepy. not to mention stupid.
- Burger King hasn't made a normal commercial in years. in fact, i can't remember the last normal commercial they had. there sure as hell hasn't been a normal one since they introduced the bobblehead-looking King. That fucker is creepy. i don't look at that and say, "mmmm.....whoppers...." i think "that bastard comes near me i'm cracking his giant head open and feasting on the goo inside."
- Visa. yes, of course i believe that the touch-and-go cards work THAT fast. look, i'm all for using a card over cash but come ON. this assembly-line horseshit is retarded. i dunno about the rest of you, but i know that for some reason i ALWAYS get stuck in line behind some dumbass who takes 10 minutes to buy a stick of gum. to add to the frustration of it, after i wait 10 minutes in line you know how long it take ME to check out? like 20 seconds. yeah. oh and while we're on the Visa commercials, i laugh out loud when the Saints one comes on. you mean the 0-2 saints? those sucky bunch of sucks that ever sucked a suck? i think we're all tired of New Orleans now. i know i was from the start. Soon as this abortion of a season comes to a close for them and everyone returns to reality and says "oh yeah, nobody ever liked the saints to begin with". then the owner move forward with what he was already trying to do pre-katrina, move the team to a town that isn't a shithole.
- I read that Alicia Silverstone (didn't she used to be a movie star or something?) appears nude in a PETA ad. Those cockjockeys can try all they like to spin this as "we're trying to educate people on the cruelty going on" all they fucking please. It's nothing more than holier-than-thou fucktards telling people how to live their life. plain and simple. same as environmentalist assholes, religions, and pretty much every politician ever.
- oh and i almost forgot. COORS. those guys talking to clips of coaches. NOT FUNNY. not even close. it's sad. Miller? while i enjoy what's his name from Scrubs, this whole "one beer league" thing is just another pathetic commercial in a long string of "please stop drinking budweiser" commercials. i've said it before and i'll say it again: nothing says "we're bitter losers and all we can think of is to take shots at the guy who's #1" like a commercial that directly attacks a competitor. sad. Budweiser just focuses on making funny as hell commercials. maybe the rest of you losers should focus on making better BEER.
- Domino's pizza. the oreo pizza beard thing? creepy. not to mention stupid.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sad News
I'm very sad to report that i just read that Robert Jordan, author of The Wheel of Time series has passed away.
I'll admit i am not caught up on the series, but I'm a big fan of his work. His writing was amazing.
Thought I'd share that I've even met him. He did a book signing in The DC area and i went there with Kristin to get an autographed copy.
A true loss to us all.
I'll admit i am not caught up on the series, but I'm a big fan of his work. His writing was amazing.
Thought I'd share that I've even met him. He did a book signing in The DC area and i went there with Kristin to get an autographed copy.
A true loss to us all.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Sports and stuff
- Ok let's get something straight. Every single team in the NFL has been or is still doing what the Pats did. No exceptions. If you honestly think the Pats are alone in what they did then you are the dumbest bastard on the planet or insanely naive and i have a bridge to sell you. The only difference between them and the other teams? They got caught. Why did they get caught? Because they obviously aren't that good at cheating. Now ask yourself "why would a team not be good at cheating?" maybe because they aren't used to it and haven't needed to? Sounds logical to me. The part I hate is all the crybaby sore losers with sand in their vaginas like the Eagles. "oh yeah, now that we think about it, maybe we lost the Superbowl because of THAT not because we sucked." go fuck yourself Philly.
- I like how my fantasy football season is going so far. Last week I cleaned up. HARD.
- This week promises to be a plethora of releases. Jefe, do you know what a "plethora" is? anyways, the game "World In Conflict" comes out. played the demo and it's pretty cool. Superman:Doomsday is out on DVD. Not really sure about that. and friday the new Resident Evil movie comes out. I liked both the first 2 so i'm game to see this one.
- i leave you with a totally awesome commercial.
- I like how my fantasy football season is going so far. Last week I cleaned up. HARD.
- This week promises to be a plethora of releases. Jefe, do you know what a "plethora" is? anyways, the game "World In Conflict" comes out. played the demo and it's pretty cool. Superman:Doomsday is out on DVD. Not really sure about that. and friday the new Resident Evil movie comes out. I liked both the first 2 so i'm game to see this one.
- i leave you with a totally awesome commercial.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Clarify please
So lemme see if i get this right.
oil companies make product, sell product, make profit like every single business on the planet is doing.
entertainment industry makes about a couple 1000% profit on what it costs to make movies, CDs, concerts, tv shows....etc..... they openly mock anyone who isn't them, have open disdain for the poor, openly advocate violence against government officials, provide aid and comfort to forces hostile to this country, sue their own customers, continue to find more and more intrusive ways to spy on their customers.... and now they're trying to put 19 year old girls in jail.
and the OIL companies are the evil organizations?
stop the world i wanna get off please.
oil companies make product, sell product, make profit like every single business on the planet is doing.
entertainment industry makes about a couple 1000% profit on what it costs to make movies, CDs, concerts, tv shows....etc..... they openly mock anyone who isn't them, have open disdain for the poor, openly advocate violence against government officials, provide aid and comfort to forces hostile to this country, sue their own customers, continue to find more and more intrusive ways to spy on their customers.... and now they're trying to put 19 year old girls in jail.
and the OIL companies are the evil organizations?
stop the world i wanna get off please.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
well the era of the camaro is over for jimmy. at least for now. rising gas prices and long commute has forced me to find something better on gas than the camaro. so as of now i am driving
2006 chevy silverado.
yes i know what you're about to say.... "jimmy, trucks aren't known for GOOD gas milage!!!!!"
you'll note i said "better on gas THAN THE CAMARO" this is for 2 reasons.
1 - V6 not a V8
2 - takes regular not super
it's a real switch going from sports car to truck.
i'm not going to complain, my camaro and i had a great 112,000 miles. and as soon as i can i'll just get the new camaro that comes out in a few years.
my the way, i got the truck with 5000 miles on it, so pretty much brand new at a GREAT deal.
here's some pics.
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2006 chevy silverado.
yes i know what you're about to say.... "jimmy, trucks aren't known for GOOD gas milage!!!!!"
you'll note i said "better on gas THAN THE CAMARO" this is for 2 reasons.
1 - V6 not a V8
2 - takes regular not super
it's a real switch going from sports car to truck.
i'm not going to complain, my camaro and i had a great 112,000 miles. and as soon as i can i'll just get the new camaro that comes out in a few years.
my the way, i got the truck with 5000 miles on it, so pretty much brand new at a GREAT deal.
here's some pics.
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Monday, July 23, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
101 Simpsons quotes
Some are actually just 2 lines in the same conversation, but hey it's still funny.
I'd like to also point out that no quotes are from past the 8th or 9th season. Since that's when the show ceased being funny.
anyway, here you go.
I'd like to also point out that no quotes are from past the 8th or 9th season. Since that's when the show ceased being funny.
anyway, here you go.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
No democracy thank god
Some moron thought it would be neat to show 10 things Americans could have if this were truly a democracy and everything were decided on popular vote.
All i can say is thank god this isn't a democracy. check this list out.
10 - Marijuana Decriminalization. this one i can agree with. if people wanna kill themselves the very least the government can do is tax the hell out of it. I'm a drinker and smoker and i ain't quitting. I suggest we add prostitution to this one. Selling is legal.... fucking is legal.... why isn't selling fucking legal?
9 - Universal Health Care. ah yes, let's turn all health care aspects into government-run organizations. you gotta be shitting me. Do any of these nimrods REALLY want the same people who run the DMV and Post Office running the HOSPITALS!?!?! We'd also see the end of medical developments. 9999 out of 10000 times a government number cruncher will make sure you can just "live with" whatever you have rather than spend the money to find a cure.
8 - Stricter Campaign Finance Laws. this one is an insanely easy fix. just stop giving political contributions. just don't do it. if politicians had to earn the money you give them and be accountable then this wouldn't be a problem.
7 - Equal aid to Palestinians and Israelis. I'm not really going to comment on this one because frankly i think there's no good solution to this. at all. there's no way to make anyone happy. I'll admit i don't have a clue on what to do.
6 - Reducing Military Spending. ha ha ha ha ha....*pause for breath*... ha ha ha ha ha!!!! oh that's good. and of course all the people trying to kill Americans will just MAGICALLY go away right? i had no idea we could just wish our problems away.
5 - Increased Social Spending. I'm calling bullshit on this one. if this was polled to something people WANT then they clearly didn't understand what was being asked. there's no way i believe that if you asked someone "would you like to pay more taxes from your hard earned money to give it to people who are lazy and want handouts?" actually maybe they just asked poor and lower class people what they wanted. they sure as hell didn't ask the rich people (you know, the ones who pay all the taxes) if they want to give it to even MORE bums.
4 - Acceptance of Kyoto Protocol. nice try Al Gore, shouldn't you be out looking for man-bear-pig?
3 - A Diplomatic Solution with Iran. can i buy some pot from this guy? he has GOT to be smoking the craziest shit ever grown. diplomatic solution? how in the fucking HELL do you solve things diplomatically with a country who wants you dead? not for anything we did, just because we're Americans. wow, this is some serious denial.
2 - Pulling Troops out of Iraq. I've given up caring about this. whatever happens, things are only going to get worse. troops pull out, Iran and Syria move in, another 9-11 happens, and instead of acknowledging that maybe we should have tried finishing the job they'll just blame Bush. it's going to happen. watch.
1 - The Impeachment of George W Bush. this is a joke. people's hatred of Bush has reached a level where i just don't believe anything anyone says about him anymore. people so easily accept the worst about him that it's pathetic. Bush could throw himself in front of a bullet meant for a infant black girl and people would rather believe he fired the bullet, hates kids, hates women, and hates black people. that's how retarded people have become.
All i can say is thank god this isn't a democracy. check this list out.
10 - Marijuana Decriminalization. this one i can agree with. if people wanna kill themselves the very least the government can do is tax the hell out of it. I'm a drinker and smoker and i ain't quitting. I suggest we add prostitution to this one. Selling is legal.... fucking is legal.... why isn't selling fucking legal?
9 - Universal Health Care. ah yes, let's turn all health care aspects into government-run organizations. you gotta be shitting me. Do any of these nimrods REALLY want the same people who run the DMV and Post Office running the HOSPITALS!?!?! We'd also see the end of medical developments. 9999 out of 10000 times a government number cruncher will make sure you can just "live with" whatever you have rather than spend the money to find a cure.
8 - Stricter Campaign Finance Laws. this one is an insanely easy fix. just stop giving political contributions. just don't do it. if politicians had to earn the money you give them and be accountable then this wouldn't be a problem.
7 - Equal aid to Palestinians and Israelis. I'm not really going to comment on this one because frankly i think there's no good solution to this. at all. there's no way to make anyone happy. I'll admit i don't have a clue on what to do.
6 - Reducing Military Spending. ha ha ha ha ha....*pause for breath*... ha ha ha ha ha!!!! oh that's good. and of course all the people trying to kill Americans will just MAGICALLY go away right? i had no idea we could just wish our problems away.
5 - Increased Social Spending. I'm calling bullshit on this one. if this was polled to something people WANT then they clearly didn't understand what was being asked. there's no way i believe that if you asked someone "would you like to pay more taxes from your hard earned money to give it to people who are lazy and want handouts?" actually maybe they just asked poor and lower class people what they wanted. they sure as hell didn't ask the rich people (you know, the ones who pay all the taxes) if they want to give it to even MORE bums.
4 - Acceptance of Kyoto Protocol. nice try Al Gore, shouldn't you be out looking for man-bear-pig?
3 - A Diplomatic Solution with Iran. can i buy some pot from this guy? he has GOT to be smoking the craziest shit ever grown. diplomatic solution? how in the fucking HELL do you solve things diplomatically with a country who wants you dead? not for anything we did, just because we're Americans. wow, this is some serious denial.
2 - Pulling Troops out of Iraq. I've given up caring about this. whatever happens, things are only going to get worse. troops pull out, Iran and Syria move in, another 9-11 happens, and instead of acknowledging that maybe we should have tried finishing the job they'll just blame Bush. it's going to happen. watch.
1 - The Impeachment of George W Bush. this is a joke. people's hatred of Bush has reached a level where i just don't believe anything anyone says about him anymore. people so easily accept the worst about him that it's pathetic. Bush could throw himself in front of a bullet meant for a infant black girl and people would rather believe he fired the bullet, hates kids, hates women, and hates black people. that's how retarded people have become.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Medical science
Using stem cells to suck out the fat and turn it into larger boobs.
Truly this is a great medical breakthru.
Truly this is a great medical breakthru.
7 things rebuttle
Cinematical has a list on 7 reasons summer movies have become dumber.
there are a couple good points, but mostly it's an exercise in total jackassery and a retard-o-rama. go ahead and read them and come back.
here's a my rebuttal on them.
1 - this problem goes away when jerkoff movie critics, and hollywood snobs uncork their heads from their asses and realize that a special effects bonanza film can be as good if not better a film than some boring-ass oscar movie. lemme put it this way, when was the last time you watched a porno for the plot and acting? did you finish and say "well, the plot was terrible and the acting was awful, i just didn't like it." hell no. you know why? cuz nobody watches porn for the plot or the acting, they watch for the visual effects. i don't care about why the girl doesn't have cash to pay for the pizza, i just wanna see giant hooters bouncing around while a total babe moans like a banshee. comprende? this applies to summer popcorn flicks. a movie loaded with awesome special effects doesn't have to have a super plot or Shakespeare acting to be a great movie. The original Star Wars was crap for plot and acting, and yet it remains one of the greatest works of cinema ever. so get off your high horse morons.
2 - Tons of marketing? oh my god it's like..... it's like..... it's almost like they want people to come see the movie. HOLY SHIT!!!! those sneaky bastards, how dare they market the fuck out of a movie in an attempt to get you to go see it. It's like the marketing people are doing some manner of job they are hired to do.
3 - I can agree with this. the whole "it's the #1 movie in America!!!" thing is only worth something if they can say it's been #1 for longer than 2 weeks. THEN I'm impressed. oh and the "it's the #1 comedy/drama movie in America" thing is fucking sad. if you aren't #1, then please don't bother.
4 - this could be cleared up if the oscars become something worth taking seriously. but they remain a total fucking joke hence we're stuck with chick flicks and snore-ville towards the end of the year.
5 - yeah, I'm sure that Lucas is chomping at the bit to put out another movie for nitpicky assholes to complain about.
6 - little bit of a reality check for everyone complaining of nothing "original" coming out of hollywood...... 99.99999% of the good ideas are all taken. there's pretty much nothing new to do anymore. it's all just remakes of TV shows or adaptations of a book from now on. you'll just have to accept that fresh ideas are a rare thing now. fucking deal with it.
7 - the only people not helping are the douchbags who come up with shitty film reviews trying to show off all they learned in their english and drama classes they took in community college.
so bottom line is that this guy is just another crybaby little girl who thinks every film released all thru the year has to be an oscar contender and a fresh new idea. so pitiful.
there are a couple good points, but mostly it's an exercise in total jackassery and a retard-o-rama. go ahead and read them and come back.
here's a my rebuttal on them.
1 - this problem goes away when jerkoff movie critics, and hollywood snobs uncork their heads from their asses and realize that a special effects bonanza film can be as good if not better a film than some boring-ass oscar movie. lemme put it this way, when was the last time you watched a porno for the plot and acting? did you finish and say "well, the plot was terrible and the acting was awful, i just didn't like it." hell no. you know why? cuz nobody watches porn for the plot or the acting, they watch for the visual effects. i don't care about why the girl doesn't have cash to pay for the pizza, i just wanna see giant hooters bouncing around while a total babe moans like a banshee. comprende? this applies to summer popcorn flicks. a movie loaded with awesome special effects doesn't have to have a super plot or Shakespeare acting to be a great movie. The original Star Wars was crap for plot and acting, and yet it remains one of the greatest works of cinema ever. so get off your high horse morons.
2 - Tons of marketing? oh my god it's like..... it's like..... it's almost like they want people to come see the movie. HOLY SHIT!!!! those sneaky bastards, how dare they market the fuck out of a movie in an attempt to get you to go see it. It's like the marketing people are doing some manner of job they are hired to do.
3 - I can agree with this. the whole "it's the #1 movie in America!!!" thing is only worth something if they can say it's been #1 for longer than 2 weeks. THEN I'm impressed. oh and the "it's the #1 comedy/drama movie in America" thing is fucking sad. if you aren't #1, then please don't bother.
4 - this could be cleared up if the oscars become something worth taking seriously. but they remain a total fucking joke hence we're stuck with chick flicks and snore-ville towards the end of the year.
5 - yeah, I'm sure that Lucas is chomping at the bit to put out another movie for nitpicky assholes to complain about.
6 - little bit of a reality check for everyone complaining of nothing "original" coming out of hollywood...... 99.99999% of the good ideas are all taken. there's pretty much nothing new to do anymore. it's all just remakes of TV shows or adaptations of a book from now on. you'll just have to accept that fresh ideas are a rare thing now. fucking deal with it.
7 - the only people not helping are the douchbags who come up with shitty film reviews trying to show off all they learned in their english and drama classes they took in community college.
so bottom line is that this guy is just another crybaby little girl who thinks every film released all thru the year has to be an oscar contender and a fresh new idea. so pitiful.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Do as they say not as they do
The hypocrite schmucks putting on Live Aid all seriously need a boot upside their freaking heads. Oh sure they talk a big game. Too bad the talking they're doing is only making things worse.
Oh and the best part? they just buy their guilt away. it's like burning down a building to speak out against arson and then donating a fire truck to clean your conscience and say you have "balanced things out" then you go off and have a circle jerk with all your friends and talk about how you're changing the world.
Oh and the best part? they just buy their guilt away. it's like burning down a building to speak out against arson and then donating a fire truck to clean your conscience and say you have "balanced things out" then you go off and have a circle jerk with all your friends and talk about how you're changing the world.
Wrong number but it's cool
Amusing little story here.
Apparently some student at UCLA was given a recycled phone number. The previous user? Paris Hilton. So she started getting calls and texts asking about parties and other things. When Paris was going to go to jail there were calls and texts of people lending support and love.
I wonder if this kind of thing happens often. Non-famous people getting the number of famous people. Imagine if you got the number of a famous person and by coincidence you both had the same first name. creepy eh?
Apparently some student at UCLA was given a recycled phone number. The previous user? Paris Hilton. So she started getting calls and texts asking about parties and other things. When Paris was going to go to jail there were calls and texts of people lending support and love.
I wonder if this kind of thing happens often. Non-famous people getting the number of famous people. Imagine if you got the number of a famous person and by coincidence you both had the same first name. creepy eh?
Sunday, July 01, 2007
The Math of Love
Conan O'Brian once again showing why his show is funnier than Letterman and Leno will EVER be.
Kwik-E-Mart
As part of promotions for the upcoming Simpsons movie, some 7-11 stores are being turned into kwik-e-marts. complete with merchandise.
Those stores and most of the 6,000-plus other 7-Elevens in North America will sell items that until now existed only on television: Buzz Cola, KrustyO's cereal and Squishees, the slushy drink knockoff of Slurpees.
i'm seriously thinking of driving up to one in Dallas and asking where they keep the Burns-O's.
Those stores and most of the 6,000-plus other 7-Elevens in North America will sell items that until now existed only on television: Buzz Cola, KrustyO's cereal and Squishees, the slushy drink knockoff of Slurpees.
i'm seriously thinking of driving up to one in Dallas and asking where they keep the Burns-O's.
Happy 50th Dad
Today my old man is 50 years old. let's all point and laugh at the old guy. time sure flies. i can't help but think in a blink i'll find myself nearing 50. yikes.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Disgusting
This story is simply sickening.
Here's the original story.
Long story short, a cop tells a guy to get up from a face-down, arms spread position and when the guy does he shoots him.
Here's the video of it.
Of course you would think the cop is going to do time for that right? How could he shoot a guy for complying with the orders he was yelling at him and clearly posed no danger?
Think again.
The jury deliberated less than four hours Thursday before acquitting Webb of illegally shooting Elio Carrion.
California legal system folks.
Personally i hope this cop gets gunned down in the street. He deserves nothing less. He's nothing short of a gangbanger that had his homies watch his back while he got away with some fucked up crimes.
On behalf of the US Air Force, go fuck yourself San Bernardino.
Here's the original story.
Long story short, a cop tells a guy to get up from a face-down, arms spread position and when the guy does he shoots him.
Here's the video of it.
Of course you would think the cop is going to do time for that right? How could he shoot a guy for complying with the orders he was yelling at him and clearly posed no danger?
Think again.
The jury deliberated less than four hours Thursday before acquitting Webb of illegally shooting Elio Carrion.
California legal system folks.
Personally i hope this cop gets gunned down in the street. He deserves nothing less. He's nothing short of a gangbanger that had his homies watch his back while he got away with some fucked up crimes.
On behalf of the US Air Force, go fuck yourself San Bernardino.
countdown is on
48 hours and i'll be getting in line to go see Transformers. Josh and I scored tickets to the 8PM showing Monday night.
I'm giddy as a schoolgirl. giddy i tells ya.
I'm giddy as a schoolgirl. giddy i tells ya.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Jimmy Update
Quick update on my situation.
- i have graduated from ITT. with honors even. yay. just so nobody reading this makes the same mistake, don't ever fucking attend ITT. ever. it sucks so fucking much. trust me.
- working part time.
that's about it. i'd like to go back overseas and work, but i'm not sure there's anything over there in the computer field with my limited experience. once i get some certifications and time under my belt i should be able to make a serious go at getting over there.
- i have graduated from ITT. with honors even. yay. just so nobody reading this makes the same mistake, don't ever fucking attend ITT. ever. it sucks so fucking much. trust me.
- working part time.
that's about it. i'd like to go back overseas and work, but i'm not sure there's anything over there in the computer field with my limited experience. once i get some certifications and time under my belt i should be able to make a serious go at getting over there.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Money followup
A few posts back i linked to this list showing 22 myths about money. I wanted to list some of them and give my own talk about each. Cuz that's how i roll.
Myth #1: “Money is the root of all evil.”
NO. money is a tool. a means to an end. it's just something we use to get by. its scarcity and difficulty to acquire are what make PEOPLE do evil things. if air and water were hard to come by then we'd be saying that they were the root of evil and all these anti-rich people would be talking about the people with more air and water than them. We'd be listening to how President Bush conspired to attack planet Druidia and steal their air. bottom line: the lack of or the pursuit of money are what causes evil things, not the money.
Myth #2: “If my parents were rich, I would have made it.”
define 'made it'. you mean you'd be a jobless spoiled brat cruising around spending daddy's money and laughing at the poor people? sure having loaded parents puts you in a good position to succeed since you have more options available, but in the end it's up to YOU to get off your ass and 'make' something of yourself. not your parents.
Myth #3: “Rich people are greedy.”
so apparently the only point to becoming rich is to give it all away. if you honestly believe this then lemme clue you into something. you have to want more to get more. greed is not limited to wealthy people. in fact, the less you have the MORE greedy you're probably going to be. i'm sure that rich people like to keep all their nice stuff, but i'm willing to bet they'd care far less about losing stuff than some poor slob who has almost nothing to lose. that poor person will FIGHT to get and keep what little he can. greed is entirely a point of view issue anyways. hey if we wanna get technical, chicks are greedy when it comes to sex right? how dare they hoard the boobies and keep them from the needy.
Myth #4: “Money isn’t important.”
reality check. it is. it may not being the MOST important thing, but it sure as hell is important.
Myth #5: “If only government, my employers, family, or spouse helped me, I would have made loads of money.”
get the fuck off your ass and go earn a living. this is the kind of thinking that puts democrats in charge and promotes a welfare state. you make your own breaks in life pal, nobody ESPECIALLY not the government should have to help you out. help is nice have, but screw you if you think it's required to be successful.
Myth #6: “Money can’t buy happiness and money won’t make you happy.”
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! look at me, i'm making people happy, in a gumdrop house on lollipop laaaane..... money CAN buy happiness and if you have money and are still unhappy then you probably don't deserve it. send it this way and i'll show you just how much happiness i can buy with it. i'll drive buy your house in my happiness with a smoking hot happiness setting next to me and wave to you so you can see all the happy i can buy.
Myth #7: “If I were rich, my friends would resent me.”
then you have pathetic shitty friends. go buy new ones. any REAL friend is only ever happy for his friend's successes in life. i'm proud as hell of Roger and Chris in all they've done with themselves.
Myth #8: “If the economy was better, I’d be wealthy.”
news flash: the economy always has some rich and a lot of not-rich. everyone falling into the latter thinks this is true. some are right only because a different economy might make different businesses and companies better. but then that would mean someone else is not rich and bemoaning their lot in life.
Myth #9: “You need a scam to get rich.”
no, you need to be smart and work hard. dumbass.
Myth #10: “If I really try to become rich and fail, I’ll be crushed.”
good news, if you don't try then you won't be crushed. then again you'll NEVER be rich, but you won't be crushed. if you have tried and failed and want to stop trying then that's cool. i'm behind you and won't hassle you for that. because that's how i handle my love life. tried and failed several times, i'm done trying.
Myth #11: “You need a break to become wealthy.”
this is just too vague. define 'break'
Myth #12: “I’ll save money when I have enough.”
well if you have enough why would you need to save it? saving is about planning and thinking ahead. sacrifice now for gains in the future.
Myth #13: “If I had large sum of money, I would have started saving and investing early.”
the sooner you start, the less you need. it's called interest, look into it.
Myth #14: “Having a good job leads to wealth.”
i guess this depends on what you consider a 'good' job. it's not so much how you make the money as it is how you use it once you have it. there's lots of people out there with good jobs making lots of money that are barely getting by because they're stupid.
Myth #15: “Money corrupts people.”
what a bunch of shit. no it doesn't. money is like alcohol, in greater quantities it brings the truth of a person closer to the surface. there's plenty of evil backstabbing poor bastards out there as there are rich ones, the poor ones just don't have the means to show it and can't effect as many people as a rich one can.
Myth #16: “If I didn’t have family or social responsibilities, I would have made millions.”
so far this is the one that comes the closest to being true. i only say that because i know firsthand the advantages of not having to worry about taking care of anyone but myself.
Myth #17: “It’s better to give than to receive.”
maybe in a Christmas special it is.
Myth #18: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
ok, so we finally found one that IS true. but i don't know i'd count this as a myth.
Myth #19: “Rich people don’t care about the poor.”
how the fuck are they supposed to 'care'?? look, just cuz someone isn't throwing money at charities doesn't mean they don't care. people do for others in their own way. me personally i believe that charity starts at home. i don't give to anything. not to charities, not to telethons, and sure as fucking hell not bums on the street. i help my friends and family. i buy a round of drinks for Josh, pick up a magazine for the parents, stuff like that. frankly i think if more people did THAT instead of pissing away money total strangers we wouldn't need as many charities.
Myth #20: “I have to work very hard to become rich.”
one of my bosses in the air force always used to say "we don't work hard, the army works hard, we work smart." working hard is good and all, but it's by no means the only way to get rich.
Myth #21: “It takes money to make money.”
yeah kinda. how much it takes just depends on how you use it.
Myth #22: “I’m a loser and a failure because I’m in such terrible financial trouble. My situation is hopeless.”
pity party!!! pity party!!!!
Myth #1: “Money is the root of all evil.”
NO. money is a tool. a means to an end. it's just something we use to get by. its scarcity and difficulty to acquire are what make PEOPLE do evil things. if air and water were hard to come by then we'd be saying that they were the root of evil and all these anti-rich people would be talking about the people with more air and water than them. We'd be listening to how President Bush conspired to attack planet Druidia and steal their air. bottom line: the lack of or the pursuit of money are what causes evil things, not the money.
Myth #2: “If my parents were rich, I would have made it.”
define 'made it'. you mean you'd be a jobless spoiled brat cruising around spending daddy's money and laughing at the poor people? sure having loaded parents puts you in a good position to succeed since you have more options available, but in the end it's up to YOU to get off your ass and 'make' something of yourself. not your parents.
Myth #3: “Rich people are greedy.”
so apparently the only point to becoming rich is to give it all away. if you honestly believe this then lemme clue you into something. you have to want more to get more. greed is not limited to wealthy people. in fact, the less you have the MORE greedy you're probably going to be. i'm sure that rich people like to keep all their nice stuff, but i'm willing to bet they'd care far less about losing stuff than some poor slob who has almost nothing to lose. that poor person will FIGHT to get and keep what little he can. greed is entirely a point of view issue anyways. hey if we wanna get technical, chicks are greedy when it comes to sex right? how dare they hoard the boobies and keep them from the needy.
Myth #4: “Money isn’t important.”
reality check. it is. it may not being the MOST important thing, but it sure as hell is important.
Myth #5: “If only government, my employers, family, or spouse helped me, I would have made loads of money.”
get the fuck off your ass and go earn a living. this is the kind of thinking that puts democrats in charge and promotes a welfare state. you make your own breaks in life pal, nobody ESPECIALLY not the government should have to help you out. help is nice have, but screw you if you think it's required to be successful.
Myth #6: “Money can’t buy happiness and money won’t make you happy.”
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! look at me, i'm making people happy, in a gumdrop house on lollipop laaaane..... money CAN buy happiness and if you have money and are still unhappy then you probably don't deserve it. send it this way and i'll show you just how much happiness i can buy with it. i'll drive buy your house in my happiness with a smoking hot happiness setting next to me and wave to you so you can see all the happy i can buy.
Myth #7: “If I were rich, my friends would resent me.”
then you have pathetic shitty friends. go buy new ones. any REAL friend is only ever happy for his friend's successes in life. i'm proud as hell of Roger and Chris in all they've done with themselves.
Myth #8: “If the economy was better, I’d be wealthy.”
news flash: the economy always has some rich and a lot of not-rich. everyone falling into the latter thinks this is true. some are right only because a different economy might make different businesses and companies better. but then that would mean someone else is not rich and bemoaning their lot in life.
Myth #9: “You need a scam to get rich.”
no, you need to be smart and work hard. dumbass.
Myth #10: “If I really try to become rich and fail, I’ll be crushed.”
good news, if you don't try then you won't be crushed. then again you'll NEVER be rich, but you won't be crushed. if you have tried and failed and want to stop trying then that's cool. i'm behind you and won't hassle you for that. because that's how i handle my love life. tried and failed several times, i'm done trying.
Myth #11: “You need a break to become wealthy.”
this is just too vague. define 'break'
Myth #12: “I’ll save money when I have enough.”
well if you have enough why would you need to save it? saving is about planning and thinking ahead. sacrifice now for gains in the future.
Myth #13: “If I had large sum of money, I would have started saving and investing early.”
the sooner you start, the less you need. it's called interest, look into it.
Myth #14: “Having a good job leads to wealth.”
i guess this depends on what you consider a 'good' job. it's not so much how you make the money as it is how you use it once you have it. there's lots of people out there with good jobs making lots of money that are barely getting by because they're stupid.
Myth #15: “Money corrupts people.”
what a bunch of shit. no it doesn't. money is like alcohol, in greater quantities it brings the truth of a person closer to the surface. there's plenty of evil backstabbing poor bastards out there as there are rich ones, the poor ones just don't have the means to show it and can't effect as many people as a rich one can.
Myth #16: “If I didn’t have family or social responsibilities, I would have made millions.”
so far this is the one that comes the closest to being true. i only say that because i know firsthand the advantages of not having to worry about taking care of anyone but myself.
Myth #17: “It’s better to give than to receive.”
maybe in a Christmas special it is.
Myth #18: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
ok, so we finally found one that IS true. but i don't know i'd count this as a myth.
Myth #19: “Rich people don’t care about the poor.”
how the fuck are they supposed to 'care'?? look, just cuz someone isn't throwing money at charities doesn't mean they don't care. people do for others in their own way. me personally i believe that charity starts at home. i don't give to anything. not to charities, not to telethons, and sure as fucking hell not bums on the street. i help my friends and family. i buy a round of drinks for Josh, pick up a magazine for the parents, stuff like that. frankly i think if more people did THAT instead of pissing away money total strangers we wouldn't need as many charities.
Myth #20: “I have to work very hard to become rich.”
one of my bosses in the air force always used to say "we don't work hard, the army works hard, we work smart." working hard is good and all, but it's by no means the only way to get rich.
Myth #21: “It takes money to make money.”
yeah kinda. how much it takes just depends on how you use it.
Myth #22: “I’m a loser and a failure because I’m in such terrible financial trouble. My situation is hopeless.”
pity party!!! pity party!!!!
Story
this is too good NOT to share.
my dad told us this one. thursday he says that one of his safety reps had something to report to him. one of the airmen was injured.
you ready for this?
he was masturbating and he did it so hard he BROKE his DICK. he got 3 days of convalescent leave.
i swear to you i'm not making this up.
my dad told us this one. thursday he says that one of his safety reps had something to report to him. one of the airmen was injured.
you ready for this?
he was masturbating and he did it so hard he BROKE his DICK. he got 3 days of convalescent leave.
i swear to you i'm not making this up.
Friday, June 22, 2007
I won
I entered into the weekly caption contest for Cinematical. The one for the Evan Almighty pic. I won. Mine is #2
let's see if i can win this week.
let's see if i can win this week.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Water temp light
From the "god damn that's pretty fucking cool" category.
Water faucet that shines a colored light that changes the color of your water based on the temperature of it.
Water faucet that shines a colored light that changes the color of your water based on the temperature of it.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Backlogs
Michelle Malkin has a grand idea for the yahoos in Washington. Before letting a few million broke lawbreakers to stick around just so you can try and get the votes they'll never cast....
Clear the damn backlogs first
What a shocking suggestion!!! How about we take care of the immigrants that are trying to come in LEGALLY. I know it seems like a radical idea.... but hey, what the hell it's worth a shot right?
Clear the damn backlogs first
What a shocking suggestion!!! How about we take care of the immigrants that are trying to come in LEGALLY. I know it seems like a radical idea.... but hey, what the hell it's worth a shot right?
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Speak up
I'm sorry movie industry....
you were saying something about Piracy Killing your profits? i didn't hear you over the sound of your 8% expansion of revenue to $42.6 billion.
Movie industry i wish you'd do us a big favor and shut your big YAPPER!!! To quote the late Matt Foley. Now back to my van down by the river.
you were saying something about Piracy Killing your profits? i didn't hear you over the sound of your 8% expansion of revenue to $42.6 billion.
Movie industry i wish you'd do us a big favor and shut your big YAPPER!!! To quote the late Matt Foley. Now back to my van down by the river.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Video Game Bonding
I can tell you from personal experience that video games have on occation brought me and my father closer. The biggest such example is from the game "Burgertime" back on the old Intellevision system. think back to the 80s...... whoa......
Dad and I used to compete fiercely against each other. We'd post our new high score on the fridge seemingly each night. It was a lot of fun.
Everyone in the media seems hellbent on demonizing video games as addictive family and life destroyers when in fact they can be bonding experiences unlike any other. Some of the best times i can remember are from video game playing with friends/family.
- Roger and I played Halo and pretty much every other xbox game under the sun when we were roommates. We even got Chris in on a season of Madden. Great times.
- Josh and I play Need For Speed and other Xbox 360 games. I couldn't imagine a better time 2 brothers could be having.
- Massive Multiplayer Online Games. Talking World of Warcraft with Evan and Jason is a ton of fun. Not to mention some of the people i've met in-game who are fun people to interact with.
- Back in the day my whole family used to compete in Gameboy Tetris. Nobody could touch my leet skillz but hey, god bless them for trying right?
The point is that when you talk about the addictive nature of gaming you have to remember that it's a vice, no different than any other. Some people get hooked on drugs, some on drinking, some on religion, some on TV...... any of those to the point of where they tune out everyone around them. it's all about how you use those vices and if you are abusing them or letting them run our life in a healthy or UNhealthy manner.
Nifong Resigns
Nifong, AKA The Douchbag who ruined the lives of college guys simply to get reelected is resigning. He says reguardless of the trial outcome.
Translation: PLEASE DON'T DISBAR ME!!!!!
This man should never be allowed to practice law again. Ever. He should be horsewhipped on national TV.
Translation: PLEASE DON'T DISBAR ME!!!!!
This man should never be allowed to practice law again. Ever. He should be horsewhipped on national TV.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Airport nightmare
Story of a mother and the sippy cup at the airport security.
I have to laugh at stories like this. The more stories i read the harder i laugh. Is airport security out of their fucking minds? Hell yes they are. Is it their fault? Hell no. It's our fault. Why? Because we don't want to look like racists and bigots. This whole security thing could be going a lot easier if we were to put airport security into "common sense" mode instead of the current "fucking panic" mode it's in. We all wonder why they frisk 80 year old white grandmothers when it's clearly a waste of everyone's time. Because if we were frisking only the people who are LIKELY to be bringing shit onboard..... we'd be hearing nonstop about how evil we are for singling out Arabs. Sooner or later we need to just say "fuck their hurt feelings, this is getting out of control."
I have to laugh at stories like this. The more stories i read the harder i laugh. Is airport security out of their fucking minds? Hell yes they are. Is it their fault? Hell no. It's our fault. Why? Because we don't want to look like racists and bigots. This whole security thing could be going a lot easier if we were to put airport security into "common sense" mode instead of the current "fucking panic" mode it's in. We all wonder why they frisk 80 year old white grandmothers when it's clearly a waste of everyone's time. Because if we were frisking only the people who are LIKELY to be bringing shit onboard..... we'd be hearing nonstop about how evil we are for singling out Arabs. Sooner or later we need to just say "fuck their hurt feelings, this is getting out of control."
the reason why
Listen up you privacy jackasses. When the government asks for data i know the initial reaction by most of the morons out there is "oh my god the government is spying on us man!!!!" I hate to break it you, but you really aren't important enough to waste time on.
In case you didn't know, the government does a LOT and it does it with inadequate resources. Always. Every year they have to do even more with even less. When you read about government blowing money, most of the time (not always) it's just someone trying to spend the entire budget they are alloted. You see, in the world of government finance, being thrifty is NOT rewarded, it is punished. You spend 8 bucks instead of the 10 you're given? Nobody says "good job smith, way to save money, here's this year's 10 bucks again." no instead they say "only 8? guess that's all you need, here's the 8 you'll need next year." never mind that you might need 10 next year. so to make sure you have 10 you have to spend 10. even then it's a roll of the fucking dice.
So why in god's name would the government waste precious resources spying on some punk-ass teenage moron who thinks he and his friends are so fucking cool because they talk shit about America. NEWS FLASH: they don't. they ask for the data to find people like this.
Sex offenders arrested
MySpace helped the government and the government used the data to find criminals who prey on children. they didn't use it to find evidence to haul off whatever nimrods worship Green Day or Michael Moore's online love slave robots.
In case you didn't know, the government does a LOT and it does it with inadequate resources. Always. Every year they have to do even more with even less. When you read about government blowing money, most of the time (not always) it's just someone trying to spend the entire budget they are alloted. You see, in the world of government finance, being thrifty is NOT rewarded, it is punished. You spend 8 bucks instead of the 10 you're given? Nobody says "good job smith, way to save money, here's this year's 10 bucks again." no instead they say "only 8? guess that's all you need, here's the 8 you'll need next year." never mind that you might need 10 next year. so to make sure you have 10 you have to spend 10. even then it's a roll of the fucking dice.
So why in god's name would the government waste precious resources spying on some punk-ass teenage moron who thinks he and his friends are so fucking cool because they talk shit about America. NEWS FLASH: they don't. they ask for the data to find people like this.
Sex offenders arrested
MySpace helped the government and the government used the data to find criminals who prey on children. they didn't use it to find evidence to haul off whatever nimrods worship Green Day or Michael Moore's online love slave robots.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Hilarity
Article headline: Did Apple lie to Mac gamers?
only if they told them they were NOT sad pathetic excuses for gamers living in denial with a giant Mac rod up their asses.
I mean seriously. Check this out.
Holy crap C&C 3 finally? just a few months behind. Now when you play online, no more playing against casual gamers. you get to play they people who worship the game and already know how to pwn your sorry newb asses in 10 seconds. enjoy.
only if they told them they were NOT sad pathetic excuses for gamers living in denial with a giant Mac rod up their asses.
I mean seriously. Check this out.
During the announcement, Bing Gordon, an executive from EA, came onstage and touted a number of EA games that would be coming to the Mac platform this summer:
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
- Need for Speed Carbon
- Battlefield 2142
- Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars
And later this year EA will ship:
- Madden NFL 08
- Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08
Holy crap C&C 3 finally? just a few months behind. Now when you play online, no more playing against casual gamers. you get to play they people who worship the game and already know how to pwn your sorry newb asses in 10 seconds. enjoy.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
China
And you thought you were at a party that was a sausage fest?
Current Chinese law states that children are only allowed take the surname from either their mother or father, but the lack of variety means there are now 93 million people in China with the family name Wang.
so now when you're at a party that's got no chicks, you just say "man this place has more wangs than a chinese phone book!!!!"
Current Chinese law states that children are only allowed take the surname from either their mother or father, but the lack of variety means there are now 93 million people in China with the family name Wang.
so now when you're at a party that's got no chicks, you just say "man this place has more wangs than a chinese phone book!!!!"
shitty parents
An open letter to a couple shitty parents.
worth the read. forward the link to everyone who is a parent. MAKE them read it.
these 2 people described in the letter should be sterilized.
worth the read. forward the link to everyone who is a parent. MAKE them read it.
these 2 people described in the letter should be sterilized.
Confused
Well according to ESPN.com looks like Dale Jr is headed to Hendrick racing next year.
Once again..... i'm so glad i left this sport.
I mean cuz if i were still watching and a fan, my head would have exploded. Seriously. What are all you Jr fans going to do? 90% of you HATE Gordon and Hendrick racing almost to the point of where it's encoded in your DNA and is handed down to your children. Does this mean you have to root for Hendrick? Is Gordon and Johnson, his soon to be TEAMMATES not the anti-christ anymore? On the superspeedways you all root for Jeff and Jimmie to crash, but now they might be in a position to help your driver.
I envy you not Jr nation.
Once again..... i'm so glad i left this sport.
I mean cuz if i were still watching and a fan, my head would have exploded. Seriously. What are all you Jr fans going to do? 90% of you HATE Gordon and Hendrick racing almost to the point of where it's encoded in your DNA and is handed down to your children. Does this mean you have to root for Hendrick? Is Gordon and Johnson, his soon to be TEAMMATES not the anti-christ anymore? On the superspeedways you all root for Jeff and Jimmie to crash, but now they might be in a position to help your driver.
I envy you not Jr nation.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Still not sorry
Came across this little gem on ESPN.com
Kurt Busch docked 100 points and fined $100,000 for actions during weekend race. The EXACT same punishment handed to Earnhardt Jr. What did these men do to earn such wrath??
Jr - wrong part on car.
Busch - ran into Tony Stewart who was parked IN his pit box nearly RUNNING OVER tire changer in the process who avoided it by jumping over Tony's car like it was the General Lee.
wow. that sounds fair doesn't it? NASCAR sure has proven me wrong when i said the severity and fairness in which they dole out punishment is a fucking joke. oh no wait THEY DIDN'T!!!! they just proved me right and made me even MORE satisfied with my decision to give the sport the finger and walk away.
thanks NASCAR
Kurt Busch docked 100 points and fined $100,000 for actions during weekend race. The EXACT same punishment handed to Earnhardt Jr. What did these men do to earn such wrath??
Jr - wrong part on car.
Busch - ran into Tony Stewart who was parked IN his pit box nearly RUNNING OVER tire changer in the process who avoided it by jumping over Tony's car like it was the General Lee.
wow. that sounds fair doesn't it? NASCAR sure has proven me wrong when i said the severity and fairness in which they dole out punishment is a fucking joke. oh no wait THEY DIDN'T!!!! they just proved me right and made me even MORE satisfied with my decision to give the sport the finger and walk away.
thanks NASCAR
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Happy days
I'd just like to pass along the happy annoucement of a birth.
Seth Ariel ("Annointed Lion of God") Badeaux. 9.5 pounds. Healthy, happy.
Congrats go out to the exhausted father Chris and soon-to-be exhausted mom Bridget.
Seth Ariel ("Annointed Lion of God") Badeaux. 9.5 pounds. Healthy, happy.
Congrats go out to the exhausted father Chris and soon-to-be exhausted mom Bridget.
Getting paid
SI.com has listed the top 50 highest paid athletes.
this is based on earnings/winnings and endorsements. quite a list they have there and Tiger is top once again. note, the only reason you don't see Beckham is because this is American athletes. I think there are a few interesting things to notice about the list.
- one woman. Michelle Wie. it's KINDA surprising, but not really. i mean, if it was going to be just one woman i knew it would be her.
- over half the list is NBA players. all that money and the league still stinks.
- 2 of the top 3 are golfers. personally i think that's just fucking nuts. then again, i think golf is one of the biggest wastes of time EVER.
this is based on earnings/winnings and endorsements. quite a list they have there and Tiger is top once again. note, the only reason you don't see Beckham is because this is American athletes. I think there are a few interesting things to notice about the list.
- one woman. Michelle Wie. it's KINDA surprising, but not really. i mean, if it was going to be just one woman i knew it would be her.
- over half the list is NBA players. all that money and the league still stinks.
- 2 of the top 3 are golfers. personally i think that's just fucking nuts. then again, i think golf is one of the biggest wastes of time EVER.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Pulse Rifle
How to build your own Pulse Rifle from the movie "Aliens"
this is so badass, the pulse rifle is one of the most bitching looking movie weapons ever.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Fans
See now this is story you'd only see happening outside America. Long and short of it, Denmark and Sweden are playing a world cup qualifying match, Ref awards penalty show to Sweden, Danish fan attack ref, game is called and Denmark is forced to forfeit.
You won't find this kind of thing happening in this country for a few reasons.
1 - we aren't that insane. we paint our bodies, we hold up bad signs, we get tattoos, and we even force our kids to humiliate themselves on TV. but that's pretty much the extent of where our sports fever lies. we can't hold a candle to the rest of the world in their passion for soccer. you'll never see and NBA crowd throwing flares onto the court during a game. You won't ever read about an NFL QB getting shot in the street for throwing a game-costing interception in a big game. things like that just don't happen. is this a bad thing? no not really. it's only bad when we pretend we're as passionate or more than the rest of the world. let's not kid ourselves.
2 - our leagues/owners/sponsors/corporate-types don't have the fucking balls to do something like this. in an age where anyone can sue anyone for anything, forcing a forfeit due to fan interference is just BEGGING for the courts to step in.
3 - European soccer leagues hold the clubs responsible for their fans actions. when the fan shit gores down, the leagues do stuff like tell the clubs "your next game, you aren't allowed to have anyone attend. you're playing for an empty stadium". teams feel the financial pinch from letting fans act like assholes. now here in America when fans like the piss-ant scumbag sore losers in Utah start throwing stuff at the opposing players and THEIR WIVES, then something needs to happen. what i vote happens is the "play to no crowd" thing. and then the team just recoups their financial loses by charging double for tickets until they get that money back. AND they print on the tickets "you want to complain about ticket prices? blame the bastards who couldn't act right".
so anyways, i think it's funny when i read about fans in Europe going nuts. i admire their loyalty and zeal.
You won't find this kind of thing happening in this country for a few reasons.
1 - we aren't that insane. we paint our bodies, we hold up bad signs, we get tattoos, and we even force our kids to humiliate themselves on TV. but that's pretty much the extent of where our sports fever lies. we can't hold a candle to the rest of the world in their passion for soccer. you'll never see and NBA crowd throwing flares onto the court during a game. You won't ever read about an NFL QB getting shot in the street for throwing a game-costing interception in a big game. things like that just don't happen. is this a bad thing? no not really. it's only bad when we pretend we're as passionate or more than the rest of the world. let's not kid ourselves.
2 - our leagues/owners/sponsors/corporate-types don't have the fucking balls to do something like this. in an age where anyone can sue anyone for anything, forcing a forfeit due to fan interference is just BEGGING for the courts to step in.
3 - European soccer leagues hold the clubs responsible for their fans actions. when the fan shit gores down, the leagues do stuff like tell the clubs "your next game, you aren't allowed to have anyone attend. you're playing for an empty stadium". teams feel the financial pinch from letting fans act like assholes. now here in America when fans like the piss-ant scumbag sore losers in Utah start throwing stuff at the opposing players and THEIR WIVES, then something needs to happen. what i vote happens is the "play to no crowd" thing. and then the team just recoups their financial loses by charging double for tickets until they get that money back. AND they print on the tickets "you want to complain about ticket prices? blame the bastards who couldn't act right".
so anyways, i think it's funny when i read about fans in Europe going nuts. i admire their loyalty and zeal.
Simpsons songs
A complete list of all the songs sung in the Simpsons. Also a list of original songs from the show. Like the Monorail song.....
The ring came off my pudding can!! Use my pen knife my good man!!!
God i miss that show when it was funny.
nod to Robbie for finding the link.
The ring came off my pudding can!! Use my pen knife my good man!!!
God i miss that show when it was funny.
nod to Robbie for finding the link.
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