Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Star Wars explained

this is the best explanation of why the Star Wars prequels sucked.

Feelin fine

I have, in the words of the immortal Emmeril, kicked it up a notch. (BAM) I have started going to the gym. I'm not exactly drinking 2 raw eggs and punching meat for an hour, i'm taking it slow. Some nice cardio for now. No throwing up yet. I'm sure once i start on the weights i'll be here crying about not being able to move. not only will i be getting fit i'll be fit chicks too. all the time i've spent in gyms before i met.... well, none. Although Roger and I used to eye-hump the hell out of this one chick who went to Gold's Gym back when we living in Alexandria. Aw yeah.

Monday, December 29, 2008

eternal wakka wakka

Yes i'm going to hell for laughing my ass off. No, i don't care.

Super squadrons

A Louisiana-based assault helicopter squadron took their call signs from comic heroes. freakin awesome.

check it out via Times Online.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


This story on how Bush and Cheney have been secretly meeting with war vets and families of lost soldiers, reminds me of some of the stories that came out after Dale Earnhardt died. Stories about how he would help people out and made it a point that the media not get involved.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Get this girl a spell-check

Kitty gone

The kitten on camp died. None of us are vets so we aren't 100% sure. We think it was a combo of her having worms and the freezing cold out. That sucks. I went out to see her the other day and she just walked right up to me and sat down on my boot. I even lifted my foot up and she stayed on there looking up at me meowing.

this stupid world.

Monday, December 15, 2008

come on people

So now God gets credit for an open sunroof.

this is just retarded. long story short, grandmother gets hit by car while carrying toddler. toddler rolls into open sunroof of car preventing serious harm maybe even death. Sounds like random acts of chance to me. not these people.

The driver of the car, Reece Barcenes, said the only reason the sunroof was open was that the sun was shining brightly hours earlier.

"I didn't close it for whatever reason," he said. "And I just happened to have it opened. Everybody here tells me it was an act of God that I had it open. Had it been not been open or a hard top, God knows what would have happened to that baby."

are you kidding me? an act of God? it's called a coincidence you morons.

let's take this further. for the sake of argument, let's assume it was an act of God. if it was.... i'm not impressed. you mean to tell me that when God decided to roll the dice and slap a few random events together the best he could do was "let's have the grandmother get hit, lose the kid, but the kid goes flying into an open sunroof." come on. i'm thinking if God deals in these kind of "acts" he could have done something like having the grandmother "somehow" drop her keys or something that delayed her walking into the path of the car. you know, something a little less shitty happening to a poor old grandmother and a toddler.

i swear the things people will believe never cease to amaze me.

suck to be her

God help this man if he ever divorces this girl.

Just read what happened on their wedding day.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Ok so yesterday i went to this store and in it the guy had some zippo kits. the thing was all he had was zippos that were for Army and Marines. I asked the guy if he had Air Force ones and he said he didn't but to check back tomorrow. Sure enough, i went back tonight and he had this.

guess how much it cost me.....

10 bucks.

i love shopping around here.

Monday, December 08, 2008

airport security

7 dumbest things done by airport security

I laugh at this because there's people out there who actually want to put the same people in charge of the nimrod convention that is airport security in charge of our health. that's right. we get free government health care, these are the EXACT same kind of people who are going to be deciding if you live or die.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

a sit down

I've been here a week now and i haven't blogged about my situation. sorry. ok so let me take a few and talk about things here.

- living situation. i'm back in a tent again. i have to chuckle at that. i mean, i did a year back in Afghanistan in a tent so i'm laughing partly at the idea of me looking around and going "something about this seems familiar....". the other reason i chuckle is that i guess i expected better. i shouldn't have. so it's my own fault for raising my expectations but still i thought to myself that in the 4 or 5 years we've been here the infrastructure would be a bit better. meh. whatever. i've lived in worse.

- work. I feel much more like a real IT tech. Running cables, installing printers (and getting really pissed the hell off at HP right now), crimping Cat 5 cables.... it makes me feel useful. Honestly, it's a feeling i rarely feel when it comes to work. most of the jobs i've ever had i never felt useful. i just felt like another cog in the machine or i felt like i was just treading water. i like seeing results when i work on something. i never really cared for jobs where it was a nonstop barrage of calls with one jerk after another on the other end.

- war zone. i don't really "feel" like i'm in a war zone. maybe i just haven't had anything happen that snaps me into that. maybe i never will. who knows. all i know is that the danger, while i'm fully aware of the presence, doesn't keep me up at night. it's more like camping in a bad neighborhood. hell i think i feel safer here than i did living in the apartment in Maryland. I mean, 3 white guys (ok, 2 white guys and a hispanic guy who looks and sounds white) and 3 white girls living in an apartment complex where everyone else is black... you do the math. i'm aware of where i am at all times. i hear helicopters circling at all hours, i see cars driving around with flashing lights, i see lots of people carrying guns. i can see craters and demolished buildings everyone. don't mistake my lack of concern for apathy. like i've told my dad and roger, it's probably a product of growing up in the military. that and the fact i'm little crazy.

- people. i've meet quite a few interesting people and heard all sorts of interesting stories. like this one story... some dude who was getting ready to leave, he sold or gave away everything he could and whatever he couldn't sell or give, he burned it. all of it. he left the country with the clothes on his back and a laptop. upon his return home..... his wife made him strip out of those clothes in the garage and walk straight into the shower while she tossed the clothes. holy shit, talk about sticking to principle. there's plenty of other stories. All the locals i've met are friendly people. A lot of this is bringing me back to living in Turkey. the culture and attitudes i see are similar. i see a lot of good people here who deserve a chance at a better life without a small group of fanatical cockbites ruining it for them. i think we're going in the right direction with them and i hope the sacrifices everyone here has made will be rewarded. i'm allowing myself a rare moment of optimism in this, because as much i love being right, i don't want to be right if i think bad things are going to happen here. not after all that's happened.

- health. still tired of peeing 100 times a day, but i'm still drinking water, gatorade, and OJ. still haven't eaten any junk food. i even turned down some xmas cookies from roger. i just have to do the cold turkey thing. i know me. if i get the occasional taste i'm going to end up saying "fuck it" and go back to Dew, Monster, and junk. i will go back to that soon, but for now i think i need to try and undo at least some of the damage i did to myself in the past 6 years.

- misc thoughts. when they put speedbumps down here, they don't screw around. you drive over these things any faster than 5MPH or so and you're going to see your axle left behind. I've seen some damn fine looking women here. between some of the chicks i've seen here and the ones i saw during my trip to Detroit and California i'm really starting to dig Persian women.

and finally, a picture of a kitten we have living in our compound. we think her litter and mom got picked up and she got left alone. poor thing.

Friday, December 05, 2008


Gulf Oil CEO says gas could hit $1 next year

So now that gas prices are dropping everywhere, where is Bush's thanks? I seem to recall he got all of the BLAME when prices went UP so where's the THANKS for them going DOWN? I mean, it seems pretty logical to me that if you're going to perform one action for one event, the opposite event should produce the opposite action right?

wait a sec.... this whole arrangement sounds vaguely familiar. i know, this is the exact sort of credit/blame deal people have with God. only opposite.

see, when times are good and good things happen like people win championships, have food on the table, are getting well at a hospital, or when a really hot chick takes her clothes off, God's getting thanks and praise left and right. However, when times aren't going to plan like when you lose the Championship, someone dies, you lose your job, or 3 months of trying end in "i just want to be friends", well then nobody really seems to blame God for it. Usually Satan gets that honor.

So when you think about it, maybe Bush really is Satan. George W. Bush, all the blame, none of the thanks. Sounds like a good marketing slogan. Or maybe all these jerkoffs who like to blame him for everything bad that happens are a bunch of morons.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

almost live

Ah the good old days. I remember watching this show when i was in high school living with my friend Chris. This was a sketch show that was gone way before its time.


Well that didn't take long.

family of man trampled to death in Walmart, sues Walmart.

their argument? Walmart's low low prices made people crazy. no seriously. that's the argument.

whatever pity i might have felt for them.... gone. screw these people.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

worthy news

My company sends out news emails and this article was mentioned in it. I thought it was worth posting, not just because it's a good story but because i think someone needs to spread some news about good things that non-military people do here. Sure as hell can't count on the media to spread news on contractors except for when we fuck up or how greedy we are.

Dyncorp contractor saves Marines caught in firefight

Monday, December 01, 2008

here i am

Well, i'm finally at the IZ and my new home. let's examine the what, where, when, and how of this shall we?

- journey start date: 15 September
- journey completion: 1 December
- distance traveled.... a lot. breaking it down further.....
- plane rides: plane from san antonio to DC / DC to Detroit / Detroit to San Diego / San Diego to DC / DC to Dallas / Dallas to DC / DC to Atlanta / Ft Benning to Kuwait / Kuwait to Baghdad
- living conditions: hotels, brother's couch, airplane seat, bunk bed in a open bay with about 10 other bunk beds

what side adventures did Jimmy have?

- Redskins game
- Cowboys game
- crappy strip club in Maryland
- greatest strip club ever in Detroit with the greatest ass i've ever seen on a girl
- 3 different casinos
- tailgating at UNT game without actually attending the game
- hauling heavy luggage all over the damn place

and begins another chapter in the life of Jimmy. let's see just what happens shall we?