Taxes

Jim just got audited.  Apparently, the IRS thinks all contractors in Iraq and Afghanistan are living in plush 5 star hotels eating grapes and drinking fancy champagne.  Unknown even to some CPAs here the IRS has this little-published rule that once an overseas contractor enters the higher tax bracket from his bonuses he stays there.  Even after you subtract the 90K federal exemption and do your write-offs for house payment or whatever, that remaining income is STILL taxed as if you were making 100K plus.  Basically it's like this.

Say you made $150,000 (i should point out that this seems like a lot but you have to consider that this is based on an anywhere from 60 to 80 hour work week.  No overtime bonuses, just bonuses for being overseas and in a war zone.  So if you think you're not making as much, all you 40 hour a week people DOUBLE your paycheck and then compare).    Take out the $90,000.  Say you're a Texas resident like me and your state doesn't bend you over and take money.  SO now you're looking at $60,000.  Say you deduct $10000 or so.  Now, you would THINK that you're now only on the hook for $50,000 of taxable income right?  WRONG.  The IRS is going to tax that $50,000 as if it was still $150,000.  Nice.

My friend asked the IRS lady why.  Her answer was basically "well because you make that extra money."  basically her whole reason was because we make more they WANT more.  Never mind we make more because we work 10 to 12 hours a day 6 or 7 days a week.  Never mind most of us live in tents or small metal shacks.  Never mind we're also going without the same luxuries the troops do without.  We don't get to go get drunk at the bar and enjoy a 2AM run to IHOP.  Never mind the same bombs and bullets that kill troops also kill us.  Oh sure not in the same numbers, but we die all the same.  You know what else we do without?  THANKS.  Nobody throws us a parade when we get home and nobody here besides our friends and family gives a damn if we die.  Someone has to do the job.  Someone has to clean toilets and serve food and since the troops nowadays are above that, we have to hire civilians to do it. It's all good though.  I don't need the parades or ribbons.  Yeah I went over for money.  Mostly for money.  I also went to learn more about how to do my job and to go experience more of the world and see things I never thought I would.  I mean, where else would I get the chance to take a picture of myself wearing a giant foam cowboy hat that says TEXAS and a poncho with the Houston Texans logo in front of the Crossed Swords Monument in downtown Baghdad?  I also like to think I was doing my part and I think I did more to aid the war effort than i ever did when I was enlisted back in the states.  I love my country.  What i DIDN'T think and i don't appreciate is that the IRS thinks they can just help themselves to more of my money to blow on BS like Cash for Clunkers because they just ASSume i'm living the good life.

Epic fail story

a light-hearted story of a total non-abuse of power by right-wing police against a minority male clearly violating the law.

 

no wait.... take everything i said and reverse it.

 

http://www.longislandlawyerblog.com/mother-of-3-arrested-for-taking-pictures-of-tourist-attraction-at-airport

 

 

During the remainder of the six hours that Nancy Genovese was forcibly detained on the side of the road, she was taunted, verbally harangued, threatened, belittled, abused, humiliated and harassed by members of the Suffolk County Sheriff’s Office. For example, Deputy Carlock repeatedly referred to Nancy as “a right winger” and “tea bagger”, and threatened that they were going to arrest her for terrorism to make an example of her to other “tea baggers” and “right wingers”.

 

 

yeah, but it's the tea party who we need to be concerned over.  sure.

 

bets on this making national news?  i got a billion dollars saying this won't crack national news.  i got a trillion that says if it was a minority and it was right-wing cops doing the arresting it WOULD.

Student athletes

NCAA's new president says paying the people directly responsible for making them million of dollars is out of the question. 

So we're still back to the arguement that the scholorship they get is enough.  If this were 1970, that might be a valid arguement.  Hell, even in the 80s.  The problem is, 2 things have changed in the last couple decades that have made this arguement worthless.

1 - college athletics, mostly football and basketball have undergone a shift in which they are now running as a business.  I'm pretty sure that alumni contributions aren't even really needed at some of these schools.  Not that that would stop them from asking for some.  What these athletes are bringing the school has shot up.  It's no longer about what kind of honor and fun they bring to students and alumni, it's about what kind of money and sponsors they bring to the school.  Bottom line: they are getting more from the athletes.  (remember that part, i'll get back to it)

2 - These college degrees are worth less than they used to be.  There was a time where a college degree meant you were set.  You had a job.  Unless it was liberal arts, that's always been a crap shoot.  Paying an athlete with a college degree was saying, "look, even if you don't go pro, you have a future and your hard work will pay off."  Not today.  Nowadays, paying with a college degree is saying "hey sucker, thanks for making us a few million.  unless you killed yourself and got a degree in engineering or something that is useful, have fun waiting tables at Applebees alongside pretty much everyone else that left this college with a bachelor's degree."  Bottom line: what colleges "pay" is less.

which brings us to the equation.....  (what colleges get from athletes hard work) + (what colleges are giving athletes in return) = you need to start paying these guys you greedy assholes.

- it's funny, i hear the point made that football or basketball jocks coast thru college.  Hell i've heard from more than one person that people in classes with Vince Young said they never saw him in class ever.  The more i think about it, the more i'm forced to say that I don't see a problem with that.  I mean think about it.  The degree is the "payment" and it's not even guarenteed.  It's like they're paying with a CHANCE to get a degree.  It's like if I built you a house and you promised to pay me with a new car, but when I go to get my paycheck you give me a ticket to be on The Price Is Right.  How the fuck is THAT fair?

Oh well, I doubt this is going to change.

College pricks

Note to self:  go to Columbia University and just kick everyone in sight's ass.  They've earned it.

Fuck you Iraq

I don't think i could possibly tell them to go fuck themselves any harder after reading this.

Ungrateful assholes doesn't even scratch the surface.

why

And here's yet another reason why i'm not a registered Republican.

Dumb and dumberer-er-est

Racist black woman (cuz let's face it, if you read what she says that's all it really is) has issue with a Superbowl commercial. 

what's funny is that what she says isn't the most upsetting thing about all this.  not even the thought that she wastes tax-payer money in a state that does NOT have the cash to burn every time she opens her goddamn mouth.  no, what's the most upsetting thing about this is the thought that SHE WAS ELECTED.  someone actually listened to what she has to say and said "yup, sounds good to me."

i agree with one of the commenters in their assesment of her "if she were any dumber we'd have to water her."  and then remember someone actually put her in a position of power.  i dunno bout all of you but i'm ready to jump off a bridge.

NFL grand stage

I understand the anger.  I understand the desire to see the increasing trend of rewarding only the well-to-do, done away with.  I understand every single word printed in this opinion piece.

What I don't do, is sympathize. 

We made this monster.  We birthed it, we fed it, we nurtured it as it grew, and now we have to deal with the fact that it's gotten huge and out of control.  The fact is, it isn't going away any time soon.  Why should it?  Sure you can write a nice piece saying "i think it's a travesty that 1200 people spent a ton of money only to be turned away!!!"  But you know what Goddell and Jerry are going to read?  That this Superbowl was the highest rated ever.  Those are the numbers that talk to those guys.  The average joe bag-o-donuts can bitch all he wants about how he and the rest of the common man are being priced out of the game, but as long as those same commoners are paying money for Jerseys, Cable channels, and other products IT'S GOING TO KEEP HAPPENING. 

It's the same reason all you rubes are paying $10 to go sit in a movie theater and watch recycled garbage, because you're wiling to pay $10 to go sit and watch recycled garbage. 

I don't blame any of the parties involved in sucking us all dry.  If we're all stupid enough to pay, then more power to anyone smart enough to take our money.

I can haz lawsuit

This is sad.

no, not the bill itself, the fact that such a bill is even NEEDED is what's sad.  It's really simple, if you spend your time shoveling greasy fast food in your mouth like me, you end up a misarable fat blob of lard like me.  You don't get to sue anyone.  You just get fat. 

Oh and don't give me that "but their advertising is so good...."  you mean EFFECTIVE?????  that's the point of it.  Short of dragging you into the resturaunt and beating or kidnapping you and implanting a chip in your brain, they can do whatever it takes to make you want THEIR products. 

Cyber fail

Article on how the Obama administration is a bunch of tards when it comes to cyber security.

Not shocking, but not really Obama's fault.  It's always been that way and it always will due to the nature of how our government operates.  See, in our government we tend to put people in charge who don't really know shit about that they're in charge of.  The guy making the rules for cyber security probably couldn't even tell you what a flash drive is.  The other problem is that these people have experts to help them but they aren't interesting in listening to them.  EVER.  They decisions they make are based on what they can make it look like they're doing rather than actually getting something done. 

When the government appoints an actual nerd with geek cred in charge of cyber security instead of some suit, i'll believe they're serious about it.

If god exists, he hates Jimmy Ballard: reason #too many to count

Kristen Stewart?  Seriously?

Bad enough all our best comic book heros are being played by Brits, now we gotta give away key roles to shitty actresses?

Will I EVER see a fucking awesome Superman movie in my lifetime?????


UPDATE:  bullet dodged.

UPDATE2:  ok so if he doesn't hate me, he certainly hates comic book fans.  i think the comic industry would be greatly served by a good Wonder Woman movie or tv show.  Sadly, Hollywood decides "let's just totally fuck this up."

UPDATE3:  why aren't American men being cast?  well according to casting agents, because American men are a bunch of pussies.  this of course begs the question, "well why do you assholes keep hiring pussies?"  maybe if you fuckheads hired men who are real men and unashamed of it we wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of candyasses too meek to be convincing superheros.

Obamacare

Obamacare is awesome.  It's so damn awesome that Obama thinks they're going to run out of it when it launches and being the great unselfish humanitarian that he is, he's going to make sure that you and I get plenty of it.  He's even managed to convinced his good friends and massive campaign donors to be selfless and let us have their Obamacare.

Oh wait.....

No that's not it.  Obamacare is a big piece of shit and he's making sure his buddies are shielded from it.  I mean seriously, do you really need any more proof?  I mean if i walked into a bar and announced that i've come up with a drink that puts every other alcohol to shame.... oh but me and my buddies won't be having any.  Anyone else going to be a little bit "wait if it's so fucking great...."????

Google no like torrent

Well it's comforting to know that Google is taking a stand and not helping someone run a search on how to bittorrent.

HOWEVER

they couldn't be bothered to not help people search for ways to kidnap children, make bombs, threaten the President, or cheat on taxes.

epic fail.

Prison security

So, to hell with shanks and smuggling drugs in your ass.  The newest threat to prison security.... drum roll please....

Dungeons and Dragons

I wish I were kidding. 

There, an expert on prison gangs argued not only that having a Dungeon Master issue direction to other players “mimics the organization of a gang”, but that the game encourages players to become obsessed with mentally escaping the restrictions of prison life, which could threaten “the safety and security of the institution.”

Funny, that guy just described my JOB.  Only I didn't have to stab someone to get here and the anal rapings are a little less frequent.

Border fun

Another example of the Border Patrol harassing a poor mexican just trying for a better life.

NOT

it's a radical Islam cleric trying to get into our country to wreck shit.  Attention all advocates for open borders... go fuck yourself.

Blame game

Forget Call of Duty, the hottest selling franchise in the last decade is the Blame Game. This is a game that is enjoyed by everyone. Imagine that, a game that has no target audience. Literally everyone out there is a consumer. Some people play the game casually, and then there's some people who play the game to the level of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman in the World of Warcraft episode of South Park.

Anyways, the newest release from the blame game franchise is called Russian Airport attack.

They don't get it

So GLAAD is protesting South Park's latest episode "The F word" dealing with Harley riders and the word FAG. I guess they're mad that they're still getting getting called a bunch of fags and that we aren't out on the streets crying our eyes out that they're still being called fags. The problem is, they must not have watched the episode or, they were in the next room butt-fucking during an important part.

This is a slur whose meaning remains rooted in homophobia.

No you fag, it isn't. If you had been paying attention to the part where the Harley riders are researching the word fag in the library you'll find the word has predated your little culture you're trying to create and it's been used to slander the poor and old ladies. THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING EPISODE. Words change meaning. Christ, even in your own fucking organization name. GAY used to mean (and we're not talking like hundreds of years ago more like 50 or 60) happy. So, chalk this episode as lost to this retarded group and let me finish with a few points.

- We all user words out of meaning all the time. To me, calling someone/something retarded is an all the fucking time occurrence. I'm not calling people mentally handicapped i'm calling them stupid. No i don't see a problem and no i won't stop. I know that it isn't my intention to insult mentally challenged people. End of story. Everyone else with a problem can go fuck yourself.

- Does anyone else see the hysterical irony of a group of people who stole the word gay (they did, let's be honest. gay will never mean happy again) getting mad over a show trying to "steal" their insult? that's our word for making fun of you, we need it!!!

- yes, i'm being intentionally over-insulting towards gays. satire.

Cuddle? What a fag!!

f the UN

So we're deadbeats?

The time is way way way past due for us to show the UN and the world just what we bring to the table. I say we pull all UN funding and kick those foreign bitches the fuck off our land. Let em try and do their bullshit "peacekeeping" missions without our military or financial backing. See how much shit they talk then.

bad advice

Till i read this i never heard of Jack Cafferty. Thank god. what a fucking tool.

His CNN.com commentary with advice for the Republican party.

You can read it if you wanna, or i can save you the trouble and sum it up.

- feel guilt over Bush. I think Bush was bad so you need to feel guilty.
- you not good speaker like Obama.
- Rush Limbaugh bad.
- Obey Obama. obey....obey...obey.... no fight. fighting not make you team player. obey.... feel guilt over Bush and obey.....

Can somebody please put a bullet in this waste of space?

weep for the future

I feel really bad for the future of Colorado. You're raising a state full of morons.

Students attempt to get high school name changed to Barrack Obama High School.

this shows 2 glaring facts

1 - these kids are idiots
2 - there is a clear lack of anything resembling a competent history teacher at that school.

it should be pretty fucking obvious why these kids are idiots. we aren't even a month into Obama's presidency. He put a tax cheat in charge of the IRS. wow, we're off to a rolling start aren't we?

the reason they lack a history teacher is that any good history teacher would have immediately gotten them together and said:

"OK so you think your school needs Obama's name. all right well first let me ask you all something. how many of you think George W Bush is a good president? (wait for boos from mindless MTV masses) well guess what, if i had asked you that on 1 October 2001, 90% of the country would have just bitched slapped the lot of you and told you to get the hell out of this country for booing the president. That was barely halfway into his FIRST term. Obama isn't even a MONTH into his. This school name you're about to ditch is over 130 years old. That's well over one century of history you're prepared to toss out the window for a FAD. Now pull your heads out of your asses and get to class."