Saturday, January 31, 2009

didn't need that

So in the gym at the palace they have some TVs in the cardio room. They play totally random movies. Well this morning when I went in there they had "Charlie Wilson's War" playing.

DUDE.... I'm trying to work out.... the last thing i need to see is TOM HANKS ASS!!!!

Come to think of it, I didn't need to see naked chicks either. Cardio and erections don't mix. You know it's bad when I'm averting my eyes from a TV showing boobs.

Friday, January 30, 2009

look dumber

I get media clips from my company in the email. this is one that i got.

i think the only way Robert Wood could come away from this looking dumber, was if he had a dunce cap on and his pants on backwards.

Excerpt From State Department Daily Press Briefing

Robert Wood/Acting Spokesman

January 29, 2009

QUESTION: About a month or two ago, there was an IG report that warned that Blackwater was likely going to lose its license to operate in Iraq. That has now happened. Considering that you guys have been aware of this impending decision for some time, I presume that contingency plans have been made. What are those? What are you going to do to protect your people?

MR. WOOD: Well, let me just say, first off, you know, contingency plans are obviously being looked at, but I think it was on January 23rd when the Ministry of Interior informed the Embassy in Baghdad that Blackwater’s applications for an operating license was not going to be approved. And so we’re going to encourage, of course, contractors working for us to comply with Iraqi law. We’re right now looking at the implications of this decision by the Iraqis for us. But let me just make clear that we will do everything necessary to make sure that our personnel have the security that they need.

QUESTION: Well, what do you mean you’re looking at the implications? Isn’t the implication that they can’t work there anymore and that you’re going to lose your main contractor?

MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re looking at, you know, the decision and we’re going to study and see what the implications will be, and then we’ll go forward.

QUESTION: I’m sorry, maybe I’m being dense here, but it seems to me that the obvious implication that you should already be aware of is that Blackwater can’t work in Iraq anymore.

MR. WOOD: I understand the decision. They were not granted an operating license

QUESTION: What more is there to look at?

MR. WOOD: Well, we have to study and see what we’re going to do next.

QUESTION: Right. Well, but you’ve been – this building has known for some time that this decision is coming down the pike, so –

MR. WOOD: Right, right, but we don’t have a decision ready to announce. We have to –

QUESTION: So Robert, who is protecting them today?

MR. WOOD: I’ll have to take a look at that. I’m not certain. I haven’t had a chance to look into that, but I’ll get the – we’ll get you something on that. I have to see who’s actually on the ground doing it. I’m just not sure at this point.

QUESTION: Do you intend to comply or do you intend to tell Blackwater to – if you’re going to – if you – you said you’re --

MR. WOOD: We have to comply with Iraqi law, period.

QUESTION: Exactly. So that means that you can’t – that your guys cannot use Blackwater as – for security guards, so -

MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re going to comply with the Iraqi decision. We have no choice but to do that. So we’re just right now trying to formulate how we’re going to go forward. But I just wanted to make clear that we’re going to do everything, you know, to make sure that our Embassy employees have the security they need.

QUESTION: How long do you have to comply? I mean, when does this take effect?

MR. WOOD: I don’t know, haven’t seen the details on that yet.

QUESTION: Wouldn’t you have decided how to go forward already since you knew it was coming?

MR. WOOD: Well, it’s not a question of knowing that it was coming. We wanted to make sure that we had a clear-cut response from the Iraqis, an official response. We have now – you know, we received that on January 23rd, as I said, and we’re looking at next steps. That’s about as much as I can give you at this point.

QUESTION: Would next steps be just, what, another contractor?

MR. WOOD: We’re looking at a variety of possibilities, but I’m not here to outline those possibilities at this point.

QUESTION: While you’re not here to outline the possibilities, wasn’t this contract part of the global contract where there were three that – companies that bid on the security? So couldn’t one of the other ones step in?

MR. WOOD: Well --

QUESTION: I mean, isn’t that the whole idea of having these massive contracts?

MR. WOOD: That’s a possibility, but we haven’t made a decision on how we’re going to go forward yet.

QUESTION: But you have two other contractors that are working in Iraq, DynCorp and Triple Canopy, right?

MR. WOOD: Right. That’s right.

QUESTION: So you could ostensibly just move Triple Canopy or DynCorp over, because you’ve done all the RFP work and other stuff, right?

MR. WOOD: Well, we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward yet, as I said. So I really don’t have any more to give you on that.

QUESTION: Is there a temporary security in place? I mean --

MR. WOOD: Like I said, I’m going to find out and get an answer to that question, because I’m not sure at this point.

QUESTION: It seems to be a bit irresponsible for the State Department not to have a backup plan and especially since you knew this was coming.

MR. WOOD: I did not say the State Department didn’t have a backup plan, but I said we’re looking at options and we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward.

QUESTION: Well, doesn’t it seem to be – I mean, wouldn’t it be appropriate to have had an idea in place so --

MR. WOOD: I’m not saying we don’t have ideas, you know.

QUESTION: Well, one that you were – had been approved and you were ready to go ahead with?

MR. WOOD: Matt, as I said, when we have something in terms of a way forward, we’ll certainly be happy to let you know. But at this point, we’re looking at our options, and that’s the prudent thing to do.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

its paying off

My suffering is not for nothing. stepped on the scale this morning.... 260. i'm also down a belt loop. slow progress but hopefully with my new workout routine it'll start paying off more and faster.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

where you ask

In case you wanna know just WHERE Rantville is located.....

(someone please get the Futurama reference)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

more qualifications

i'm adding on to my list of "if i ever lose my damn mind and get married this is the list of things the girl better have"

it was actually only a list of 1.

1 - not American. American women for the most part are just a pain in the ass. There are a shitload of women out there that aren't nearly as selfish and a fuck of a lot hotter. If you're one of those poor bastards who's only known and dated American women you're missing out. There are a lot of Spanish, German, British, Russian, Iraqi, Australian, and Thai girls (plenty more but i'm just naming a few places i've been) out there who aren't fucked up. for some of you American girls reading this who aren't fucked up, i apologize but that's why i said "for the MOST part" and not "all". i know some damn cool ones, but not nearly enough to make me think American chicks aren't a hassle.

anyways, i'm adding number 2.

2 - must be rhythmic gymnast. flexibility and agility are never overrated.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Keeping the faith

Ok so i took the dieting/exercise to another level.

Meals are gone for the most part. 6 days a week, i'm drinking protein shakes and eating protein bars. 1 day i can what i want (but i'm not going to go nuts. i still refuse to drink sodas and monster and eat candy. i won't let my old vices come back) and i've kicked up my cardio to 90 minutes a day.

i'm going to be hungry. and tired. and a little miserable. but it's the price i told myself i would have to pay for 6 and a half years of destroying my body.

I'll go back to destroying my body once i get it back to where it was years ago. even then, i might need to have people kick my ass to keep me working out and eating right ONCE in a while.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Lefty and proud

What do i have in common with these pros? I'm a lefty too.

left-handed that is

10. Johan Santana, Baseball. Mets' ace's 2.53 ERA led all pitchers.

9. CC Sabathia, Baseball. Carried Brewers to the playoffs with an 11-2 post-trade record.

8. Manu Ginobli, Basketball. One of the most underrated players in the NBA and, in fact, the world.

7. Justin Morneau, Baseball. Twins' first baseman won AL MVP in '06 and All-Star Home Run Derby in '08.

6. Ryan Howard, Baseball. Majors-leading 48 homers, 146 RBI helped Phillies win World Series.

5. Chris Bosh, Basketball. Olympic Gold Medalist is 6th in NBA scoring.

4. Cliff Lee, Baseball. AL Cy Young winner with a gaudy 22-3 record.

3. Tim Tebow, Football. Two National Championships and a Heisman before his senior season.

2. Phil Mickelson, Golf. World's No. 3 might dominate in a parallel universe void of Tiger Woods.

1. Rafael Nadal, Tennis. World's No. 1 player, arguably the best ever on clay.

hat tip: Dallas Observer


I totally need to get myself invited to THIS picnic.

Friday, January 09, 2009

climbing the hill

Ok so i'm about 1 week from being able to say "i have not had Mountain Dew, Monster, or any junk food in 2 months" and while i should be doing the happy dance, right now i could eat a package of Oreos and wash them down with a 12-pack of Dew. gotta stay strong. So last week i started a "diet" put together by my buddy Scott who is our medic here. I've been following his advice and we've been hitting the gym in the mornings together. I'm eating basically meat and a salad for lunch/dinner, an omlette and hash browns for breakfast, and i'm replacing one or two of these meals with a protein drink, sometimes a drink one instead of breakfast, etc.... you get the picture. at the gym i'm keeping it simple but painful. I do cardio for an hour to an hour and a half. Lemme tell you something. 90 minutes on an elliptical machine and your calf muscles are JELLO after. Scott asked how much i weighed. i told him that when i did my physical back in DC to come over here in october, i weighed in at (i can't believe i'm putting this in print) 280.

i won't lie, that gave me a kick in the ass for motivation when i found that out. There's a big difference between knowing you're a fatass and knowing JUST HOW MUCH of a fatass you are. putting a number on it was a face full of cold water.

so anyways Scott said "i promise you man, you stuck with this and in 3 or 4 months you'll be down to 210 or 220." It's been easily 6 years since i weighed that close to 200. I couldn't even imagine it now. It's like when i look at old pics of me right out of high school when i looked like i weighed a buck and a quarter. i just can't FATHOM being in the shape i was in. you know what, there's only one way to find this out right? stay the course.

my motivation in all this remains misty. even to me. do i want to be healthy? do i want to look better? do i want to feel better?

- the health factor. i'd put it at about 5%. honestly i just don't care. my health has never been something i've ever concerned myself about. you can tell me i should till you pass out. i won't. i've already said i don't plan to live to be old.

- looks. i'd rate this around 35%. i have never considered myself an attractive person. so it's not like if i pull this off i'm going to bullshit myself into thinking i'm going to be a lady-killer. even at my physical peak i still thought of myself as woman-repellent. the only reason i've had girlfriends is because, well, i'm sure they had their reasons. the only reason i've gotten laid as many damn times as i have is because i don't have high standards and i'm a total whore. so looks have never been a weapon i thought i could stock in my arsenal when hunting females. the only weapons i think i have that are effective is a sense of humor and a back massage that never fails to please the ladies.

- feeling better. i'd dial this one in at 40%. i'd kinda like being able to climb a couple flights of stairs and not get winded. feeling myself jiggle is getting old. seeing X anywhere on my clothing tab is getting old. i mean i knew when i started wrecking my body that sooner or later i would decide to care again.

- just seeing if i can do it. this is 10%. i love a good challenge.

- remaining 10% motivation. it's a secret.

BCS over

i'd just like to point out that WVU is finishing the year inside the top 25.

#23 to be exact.

now a couple notes from the game last night (early this morning for me)

- up yours AFN. big time up yours. i swear to god it was like 10 shitty AFN commercials for every 2 plays of football. what jackass was running the commercials? we even MISSED PLAYS IN THE GAME because they were running commercials. someone needs to have their ass paddled till they cry over this.

- i wish i had gotten on and bet a couple thousand bucks on whatever the over/under number was on UNDER. i'd be a rich fucking guy right now. tied at 7 at halftime? are you kidding me?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Look back

You think in 2020 or so we'll be watching a movie with a scene about an Iraq War Vet that is this powerful?

frankly, i don't see so. unless movies about this war take a dramatic departure from the ones out now.... not a chance.

great book review

If i ever write a book, i demand a book review this one.

more explain please

Thank you to the anonymous comment from that previous post. This was too good not to post a link.

Quick explanation of Star Wars

good stuff.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009


The movie Superbad.... sucked. it was (if you'll pardon the pun) super bad. i watched this movie only because my buddy here highly recommended it. "you'll love it man it's great!!!" well that's the last movie recommendation i take from him. you know what watching this movie was like?

(i'm about to make a very dirty explicit comparison so sensitive readers just stop now)

watching this movie was like having terrible sex with a chick who talked a big game. i mean, here you are hearing how great it is. you are assured the experience will be one to remember. you WILL enjoy yourself. oh boy oh boy....i'm going to like this!!! i'm going to cum in her so fucking hard her nose will run! only to walk away asking yourself "why the fuck did i just go thru with that!?!?" for the most part i can walk away from almost any movie saying i was entertained. i keep my expectations low and as a result i'm almost always a happy movie going person. i don't set the bar high. it's kinda like sex, even if i don't have the time of my life i'm just happy to be there and be entertained. only, when i see movies like this, i tell myself i should have just stayed home and slept with myself, because it certainly would have been better.

i am sick and fucking tired of movies with people who let themselves get pushed around.

i am sick and fucking tired of movies with a character that treats his friends like shit and even when he gets called out on it, they make up and everything is cool. who's fucking idea of friendship is THAT???

Seth Rogen is over hyped. WAY over hyped. the guy isn't that funny. he has his moments, but all in all, he just isn't that funny. not enough to where i have to see him in every frakking comedy that comes out.

there, i'm done venting.

time to wash my eyeballs and go to bed.

Monday, January 05, 2009