Thursday, October 30, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008


Flew out to Dallas friday morning. Josh got some tickets to the Cowboys game. Also my dad was in country for a conference down in San Antonio so he and Jackie drove up for the game as well. Plus Robbie and his dad were there so that was cool. Anyways, here's the seats we had for the game.

Good seats. Except for a couple things. The Cowboys fans. With the exception of my mom i can pretty much issue the blanket statement from attending that game that the Cowboys have serious overcrowding issues in the stands. There seems to be an overabundance of DOUCHEBAGS in Texas Stadium on game day. we were surrounded by nothing but fuckheads who were competing for the award of "biggest asshat" that i think they must have announced before we go there or maybe when i went to the can before the game started. I dunno. It was a pretty tight competition. The award for most annoying has to go to the harpy sitting behind us yelling "defeeeeeeeeeence!!!" the whole game. And it wasn't even like she was chanting it, or yelling it when other people were, just whenever the Bucs had the ball she'd start cackling away in a high-pitched tone that made life miserable. Thank goodness the game didn't go to overtime cuz one more quarter of her yelling and she would have been getting a fist right in the baby-maker. It WAS that bad. Ask josh and robbie.

Anyways, it was a good weekend. Jackie, Josh, Dad and I all went to see Saw 5. Probably the worst of the series. BUT...... never-the-less we were obligated to see it. For you see, Jackie Josh and I have managed to all see the entire "Saw" series together in theaters when each one came out. Every one, all 3 of us. A Ballard kids tradition. Frankly, i think it's really cool. I like being able to share certain things with my siblings. I like that we all have JLB for initials. (yes we all have "Lee" for a middle name) I like how we all love to travel and explore the world. I like how they both went thru college (josh is allllmost done) and neither of them came out a couple of Liberal drones like some of their friends or some people i know (not you Sara). Screw all you guys, the Ballard 3 are where it's at.

Aw yeah.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

World Series

Does anybody outside Philly and Tampa Bay give a rat's ass about the World Series this year?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

Still here

You thought Barry Bonds was going away?

So basically Bonds' argument is that he isn't playing baseball anymore not because he's a roid pumping giant head prima donna cockbite, but because MLB is a bunch of conspiring jerks. Any bets that a racism charge gets tossed in for kicks?

Actually, there probably was collusion, and it went something like this:

MLB team owner: Hey how big of a hassle was it really to have Bonds on the team?

: it was a fucking nightmare. thank god he got his record and we can finally be done with him.

MLB team owner: thanks for the heads-up.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I'd like to offer a sincere and humble apology to a man I consider a brother. Chris, this is for you.

A while back he and i were having an argument (speaking of, if you've never seen Chris and i debate and argue it's quite a sight. Roger used to be witness to it all the time when we were all roommates and he said we needed our own radio show) anyways Chris and i were arguing. Basically at the time i got on my high horse and was bashing religion. I'm not reversing myself on that, i still consider religion a brainwashing waste of time. HOWEVER... he said something to me that at the time i kinda blew off. He told me that anything can be worshiped. any set of beliefs. Patriotism is an example. I never really got it until recently. The more i read and see and hear about people worshiping stuff like Environmentalism, Feminism, Obama, Liberalism, MTV, Vegetarianism, Television, Celebrities.... the more i see Chris was right. Enjoyment of something has gone too far in this country.

This Obama fad is a great example. People are worshiping the man like he's actually DONE something. Check out this link and see video of a bunch of sick fucks parading their children around "in support of Obama" as if the kids actually knew what the fuck was going on. It's scary. All you people calling Bush "Hitler" might wanna check the facts. Bush hasn't gave a rousing speech IN BERLIN to 200,000 rabid cheering Germans... and Bush doesn't have indoctrinated youths marching for him. I'm just saying.....

Environmentalism as a religion? Just read Michael Crichton's take on it. He pretty much spells it out for you. Telling you that you are a "global warming denier" is just the 21st century version telling you that you're an idiot if you think the Earth isn't the center of the universe. Cuz a few centuries ago, the church would have your ass on a silver platter if you dared to tell them otherwise. Nowadays Al Gore will have your ass if you dare think otherwise to him telling you global warming is real.

So anyways, i can see now i was wrong. It isn't just worshiping god that creates the opportunity to turn people a tad fanatical. People can turn into mindless zombies over any ideology. I guess insanity is equal opportunity.

- you can smite heathens in the name of god
- you can blow yourself up in the name of allah
- you can torch SUVs to protect mother earth and score with that hot chick you met on the campus quad
- you can bitch and complain and withhold sex for women rights
- you can get naked and throw fake blood on coats to protect animals who don't really give a shit either way
- you can toss on a white hood burn a cross and ruin the reputations of millions of people from the South and West Virginia who don't really enjoy being thought of as a bunch of sister-fucking hillbilly redneck racist assholes but too late guilt by association
- you can do everything in your legal and/or illegal power to elect a man who never really accomplished anything of note in his life to the highest office in the land just so you can feel like you changed the world
- you can go on TV and whore yourself out in front of the whole world for the chance to win some money or find "true love"

it's all good people.

so anyways, I'm sorry Chris. Even though I still think religion is full of it, I can see that even if it weren't around there would still be plenty of other things to fight and be mad about.

and even though i took a long time to make a point and was being a smartass thru most of it, i'm not being a smartass about the apology, i really am sorry i didn't see it back then.

Baby name

Man names his daughter Sarah McCain Palin.

dude, your heart is in the right place and all, but your brain is seriously wired wrong.

Jail. NOW

So merely a week after bending the American taxpayer over for $85 Billion to keep them from going out of business, AIG execs decided the best use of the money would be to take a mere $440K of it and go to a resort spa.


no charges. no lawyers. no rights. throw them into burly-men-infested-ass-pounding-toothbrush-shiv-piss-in-hole JAIL.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Big Gun

F-ing SWEET (click image to enlarge)

language people

Do people think about the words that come out of their mouth? Not this guy.

Russian hockey legend Igor Larionov says the death of rising star Alexei Cherepanov is "unacceptable" and has asked the Continental Hockey League's majority owner to hold an emergency meeting about the matter.

Someone please find a dictionary for comrade Igor and explain to him what unacceptable means. Here...

Main Entry: un·ac·cept·able
Pronunciation: \ˌən-ik-ˈsep-tə-bəl, -ak-\
Function: adjective
Date: 15th century

: not acceptable

Then, explain how when someone is ALREADY DEAD you really don't have a choice in the matter. You have to accept it. He's dead. Gone. That's it. You can chant unacceptable till the wodka in the nuklear wessles runs dry. HE IS STILL DEAD.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Winning bad

OK, so you just kicked the holy hell out of another football team 91-0....

instead of coming home to a rousing round of applause and people asking if you thought maybe you could have broken 100 just to see if it could be done you come home to this shit.

A half-hour away in Naples, Eagles coach Bill Kramer -- the man on the winning end -- could use one of those.

He looked at the scoreboard late in the game, saw 91-0, and said he felt sick to his stomach. Kramer's team ran only 31 plays and he kept most of his best players on the sideline -- for the entire game in some cases. But still Kramer knew what was coming.

Soon after the game ended, his inbox began filling with angry e-mails, some from Estero parents wondering why so many points were necessary, some from Naples parents wondering why their kids didn't play more in an effort to pad their stats.

was it necessary? no it wasn't. it wasn't because the other team could have PLAYED DEFENSE. and don't give me that "poor sportsmanship" line. it's one thing to win big and be assholes about it, but i'm not seeing anything in this story that shows they did anything but play better and if you think they should be shamed into feeling bad for doing that then you need to go have yourself a nice warm glass of "cram it jerkwad"

so here's what America has come to. Winning is no longer acceptable and people who need to have losing rubbed in so they learn something are not allowed to lose.

Oh for the the love of.....

I actually heard someone say "what if Peyton is the other Manning?"

You gotta be fucking shitting me. Eli on his best day is barely better than his brother on his worst. He will NEVER be the same class as Peyton. NEVER. EVER. this man is a fluke. Peyton is a guaranteed hall of famer and Eli only makes the "lucky as hell" hall of fame.

Just how long is this knob-polishing going to keep going?

UPDATE: ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! up yours Giants!!!!! where's your super-Eli NOW?!!?!? suck it Eli!!!!!

This is what I mean

This is exactly what i'm talking about. This is the kind of stuff that happens when you keep filling people full of this crap about how important this election is.

I know i said i wouldn't post politics, but i consider this more of a "i told you so" kind of post.

Earlier this month, I wrote about the vandalism that has been plaguing McCain supporters in Albemarle County, Virginia. Well, the vandalism has not only continued, but it has escalated. I spoke again to County GOP Chairman Chris Schoenewald, and he estimates that as of right now, 75-80% of all the large McCain-Palin signs they’ve distributed have been stolen, vandalized, or shredded.

the only reason you aren't seeing this stuff blazing across MSNBC and CNN is because it's anti-McCain/Palin. If it were Obama signs getting trashed they'd all but photoshop some burning crosses in there and suggest Bush and McCain were taking midnight strolls doing it themselves.

This is what happens when you tell people the election is a life and death issue. This is the kind of fanaticism you create when you hammer people to unyielding obedience. Let's get something straight here, EVERYONE on BOTH sides is guilty here. I've heard just as much of this shit coming from Sean Hannity as i have from the likes of Bill Maher and Michael Moore. Both sides are trying to convince us that this election will result in the death of this country if the candidate they support doesn't win.

This is only going to get worse. Trust me.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

random things to say

i know, i've been slacking off in my blogging.

ok, so i'm back in the DC area. all i need is my medical and dental clearance and off i go to Iraq. this needs to hurry the hell up. living in a hotel not making tons of money is getting old. i just got back from a 2 week trip to help out a coworker with some things at 2 other offices. In Detroit and San Diego.

- Detroit is a hellhole of a city. If i lived there I'd kill myself. is there anything to do there besides drink, gamble, and go to strip clubs? Cuz that's all i did when i was there. don't get me wrong, i love doing all 3. in fact i think i have a new front runner in the "best strip club experience by Jimmy" category. i still can't get over how awesome Carmen's ass was. Yeah but Detroit is just a depressing city period.

- San Diego is a tropical El Paso. It looks better, weather is better, and it still looks like you're in the United States and not Mexico.

- The Subaru Legacy is a shitty vehicle. A really really crappy car.

- What the fuck is up with California people and prefacing freeways with "the"??? Let's take THE 5 to THE 15. who the hell else talks like that? up yours California you freaks. It bugs me because it smacks of those dipshits in Ohio and their THE Ohio State shit. fuck that whole school.

- my fantasy football season SUCKS.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

no more politics

ok, i'm done posting or talking about politics. election... bailout.... i'm fucking sick of it all. it just makes me angry and unreasonable (yes Sara i admit i get real polarized) and it has turned other people's minds to mush. i'm done. next post you see on here ABOUT POLITICS will be on election day when i laugh at all you losers wasting your time.