Monday, July 25, 2011

break it down now

An extended conversation with my buddy about my stubborn refusal to join the dating world again has prompted me to reexamine the decision and hyper-analyze.  I was going to do some long post but instead i'll just throw bullet points out as to why Jimmy is better off single.

- just shy of 2 decades working and i have almost nothing to show for it.  i'm 35 and i'm at what is basically an entry-level job.  not only does my career life seem to be going nowhere fast i've been reconsidering lately if staying in the IT field is the right choice.  which would be great if i didn't also realize i have nowhere to go if this falls out.  i can't think of anything else to do with my life.  this was bad enough back when i was 18 and i dropped out of the academy and faced the reality that the path i saw for myself growing up wasn't going to happen, imagine the shitty feeling I have thinking about that happening again at 35.  I won't insult women by saying you all have to be with a successful man, but I have to imagine pulling an epic fail in the career department really cripples my draw as a mate.  What girl wants a guy who's barely a provider for himself?

- there's no romance without finance.  what little extra money i do have i prefer to spend on myself on what i want.  not something that's going to go over well with any woman looking to be wined and dined.

- i am aggressively hostile towards the concept of "romance".  hey wake up honey!!  it's Valentine's day and while your friends are getting flowers and candy and taken to a chick flick, you get to spend all day listening to me rant about how those guys are a bunch of whipped pussies and your friends are whores.  yeah i didn't think you'd like that very much either.

- i don't tolerate bullshit games chicks play.  if you complain about something i'm going to offer suggestions on how to fix it.  if you are not interested in those suggestions, refuse to use them, or think i'm going to not offer them and instead just sit there and listen to you then yer out of your fuckin mind.  if you think withholding sex is a bargaining tactic with me, you're going to find how little a problem i have morally with going out and finding someone else to fuck.

- i like what i like and hate what i hate and if you think i'm going to either stop doing/using/enjoying something i like or start doing/using/enjoying something i hate because you like it then prepare to have your face laughed in.  been there done that, i'm not giving up something i like for anyone ever again.

- i'm an angry loud person.  most of the time, i'm not pleasant to be around.  most of the time when you're around me you're going to be getting ear-fulls of why i hate everything and everyone. 

- me me me.  if i don't want to do something i won't do it.  good luck trying to get me to. 

anyways..... this all adds up to better off single. 

as a reminder, this blog is only part place to publish and share stuff with people and request opinions.  the other part is a place for me to spill my thoughts because it adds clarity and helps to look back from time to time.  this be less share and more spill.

Friday, July 22, 2011


Ok Lucas, enough is enough.

Droid-theme Xbox?

i say enough is enough, but i don't expect you to stop.  i also don't expect us to stop paying you money.  hell, as disgusted as i am at the shameless money grubbing and whoring of the Star Wars brand, i'll admit that i contributed to it.  easily.  ask my parents.  i got pics of xmas after xmas with me and my Star Wars stuff.  i'm such a consumer whore that even as disgusted as i am with this 360 thing....  i'm STILL foaming at the mouth to play the MMORPG game coming out. 

Basically this is like what I imagine (since i don't know i've only read and heard about) it's like to watch a loved one or good friend turn into an alcoholic or addict.  You watch them turn into something ugly and disgusting and as much as you want to wash your hands of them you are forced to think back to when the sickness infecting them to the core of their souls wasn't there.  You think about good times and happy smiles and you stick around and you just hope that maybe some day they'll come back to you.

I don't think alcoholic Star Wars is coming back to me, but i'll always remember the good times.