Think about it

So I was reading different stories on the Egypt thing and in a few comments I saw this quote from "V for Vendetta"

People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

Now when you first see it and you think about the romantic notion of fighting the power that sounds like a damn good quote.  Then I thought about it for a minute.  Wait, the Government AFRAID of something?  That's not good.  A government is made up of people.  People with the same weaknesses and reactions as the rest of us.  (something i think most people forget nowadays).  The government isn't some computer that makes a mental note of 'do not piss off the people'.  If a government AKA the people running the show are afraid of everyone what do you think is going to happen?  BAD SHIT.  fear is never something you want to happen to someone in power.  Fear tends to bring out bad, hasty, extreme decisions in people.  Once again, NOT something you want the people who run the whole show to be expreiencing. 

If god exists, he hates Jimmy Ballard: reason #too many to count

Kristen Stewart?  Seriously?

Bad enough all our best comic book heros are being played by Brits, now we gotta give away key roles to shitty actresses?

Will I EVER see a fucking awesome Superman movie in my lifetime?????


UPDATE:  bullet dodged.

UPDATE2:  ok so if he doesn't hate me, he certainly hates comic book fans.  i think the comic industry would be greatly served by a good Wonder Woman movie or tv show.  Sadly, Hollywood decides "let's just totally fuck this up."

UPDATE3:  why aren't American men being cast?  well according to casting agents, because American men are a bunch of pussies.  this of course begs the question, "well why do you assholes keep hiring pussies?"  maybe if you fuckheads hired men who are real men and unashamed of it we wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of candyasses too meek to be convincing superheros.

District 9

Color me unimpressed. Everything I read about this movie said it was "groundbreaking" and "original" and other gushing reviews. There was nothing groundbreaking about it.

- Evil Corporation run by old white men willing to kill whoever they need to for money and power. WOW, I'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN THAT BEFORE. EVER. YOU ARE THE FIRST MOVIE TO SUGGEST OLD WHITE MEN WITH BRITISH ACCENTS COULD BE EVIL ON SCREEN.

- Corporation/Government who wants to exploit/dissect/capture aliens to experiment on them or steal their weapon technology. Nope, never fucking seen that either. Totally original. E.T.??? never heard of that movie.

- Crazy/ruthless African warlord. No fucking way.... those guys have always been portrayed as well-mannered gentlemen in movies.

- White mercenary who loves killing black people... I mean minorities... I mean aliens. gosh, don't know how I got that mixed up.

- Super-smart child saves the day. HOLY SHIT, how does this movie keep throwing these totally original concepts at us???? Before I saw this movie I never would have believed a child could save the day.

Don't get me wrong, the movie was good. Not great. Certainly not the best of the year. Not even close to the best sci-fi movie. But it was good. The end was action-packed and cool. I just fail to see where all this praise is coming from.

Star Wars

Interesting article on how to reboot star wars or basically give it the same treatment Star Trek just got. If it makes a new Star Wars film that's as badass as the Star Trek one was, I'm game.

Recently I was showing Joe (my roommate and coworker) the trailer for the new Star Wars MMORPG. It was a bitchin CGI movie with some awesome fighting going on and Joe said, "why couldn't they have put this kind of stuff in the movies?" I agree. Here's some points i'd like to make about do/do not for a reboot.

- make some fucking awesome lightsaber fights. you don't have to go far to see what I'm talking about. check out the cut scenes and fight scenes of the game "Force Unleashed". Go look at some fan made movies. They're all a million times better than the anything in the movies.

- let the force-users USE THE FORCE. don't let it be limited to just a choke here or lighting blast there. Once again, go check out "force unleashed" and see how awesome it is when you got a jedi/sith always using the force to unleash cases of whoopass.

- don't be afraid to use multiple directors. bring in a guy who does good drama for the drama scenes. bring in someone who does good action for the action scenes. you explain to these assholes that working on Star Wars is a privilege and that they are there to do a specific job. explain they better not expect any oscars. want a suggestion on fresh blood? Try Shinichiro Watanabe. Go watch the anime series Cowboy Bebop or Macross Plus and you'll see some awesome action. Space battles and other cool stuff.

- Changes without pandering. No making any main characters Black or Gay simply to pander to the people who felt there wasn't enough of either in the originals. Screw them. You got Lando and you got C3P0 there you got Black and Gay. leave it alone. Like the article said, don't be afraid to make some changes. Make Han a bigger jerk in the beginning. Make Leia a pilot or even make her a jedi in secret. Obviously the shock value of the Skywalker bloodline is not going to be there so why make it secret? Let Leia find her long lost brother and have them both train with Yoda. Make it so Yoda tells them that when found each other they have only then will training they receive.

Awesome

this is too cool for words.

Back in the game

i find there's enough going on that i think it's high time i start throwing my 2 cents back in.

Sports

- NASCAR continues a downward spiral to oblivion. Kyle Busch is never going to be popular, no matter HOW many races he wins. Period. So take note NASCAR, your policy of "shove winners down the fan's throats like hot dogs in a competition no matter how much they don't care" is going to kill you. We didn't like having the douchebag jimmie johnson shoved in our faces and you are really really really pushing it with kyle busch. you aren't even being discreet about it. We know the fans hate Busch and that you want to mask that as desperately as you can. Know how i know that? You show like 5 seconds of footage of the stands when he wins. Stands not filled with people screaming their heads off. What am i talking about? Go look at the footage you have of Jr, Gordon (jeff), or Stewart winning a race. With the economy going the way it is you're already hurting for real NASCAR fans to show up. You're already waving your dick at the TV watching fans with the eleventy-ka-dillion commercials you show. Oh and by the way, trying to get Obama sponsorship? Why not just put a sign on the pace car that says "we promise we aren't racist" it'll be cheaper and save you some dignity.

- July sucks for sports. No NBA, No NFL, just Baseball. *gag*

- That chick playing basketball in the Olympics for Russia? My brother and i had a long discussion about her. No, i don't think she's a "traitor". If she didn't have such a strong case for saying she wasn't included because of back-room politics (how do you not ask a top 5 WNBA player to even try out?) I'd be inclined to tell her "you know what honey, lots of people who wanted to go to China didn't make it. Suck it the fuck up and try again in 4 years." but her not getting picked was a pretty shady deal. STILL.... she seems to want to not be hated and thought of in a negative light. Not going to happen. Just be glad you're in America. Other countries take the whole "representing your country" thing a SHITLOAD more seriously than we do.

- This whole Favre story needs to die. nobody seems to wanna see things from the Packers point of view. so let me help you out. they have to think of the team beyond the great Brett Favre. they have to consider certain possibilities and what they would do to the team. My sports-authority friend Robbie says that Favre is still a top 10 QB. Which begs the question "why the fuck would you give the enemy help by trading a GOOD player?" if you can negotiate a deal that makes your team better then by all means trade away, but if people are just asking you to release Favre just because he wants to play well fuck all that shit. you don't give the other teams ammo, that's just stupid. i mean, suppose they did get rid of Favre and he goes on the next season to win the superbowl? how stupid does Green Bay look THEN? the owner would have to move to Canada to escape death by fans. luckily it isn't far. so let's cut this "he's still got the itch to play we should do whatever he wants" shit.


Politics

- I love reading these articles talking about how members of congress are ragging on Bush. It makes me laugh because these bozos have an 18% approval rating. 18 fucking percent. not even 1/5 of the country thinks they're doing their job and they have the BALLS to criticize Bush? Of course, then i remember the American public has become a bunch of brain-dead nimrods who will ignore anything you do as long as you blame Bush for it. So i guess if i could suck at my job and people wouldn't even care, i'd be doing the same thing. Guess the joke is on us huh?

- Hey America, you DO realize that the Government is made of up more than just the President and Vice President right? contrary to what some of you geniuses believe, Bush and Cheney aren't running the whole show single-handedly. There is a Congress and Senate and Supreme Court also equally responsible for the mess we're in. Just thought I'd throw that out there in case some people decide to turn their brain on for a second.

- I really do hope Obama wins. first, because i wanna see what everyone does when life doesn't get better and there's no republicans or white men to blame. second, i wanna see if the general level of bitching from blacks about equality goes down some. doubt it. you think Spike Lee and Jessie Jackson are eager to get out of that nice little rut they're in? If he doesn't win, i honestly think we'll be seeing the end of the Democrat party as we know it. I think the moderate Dems will have been pushed over the edge and won't tolerate the lunatic fringe anymore. Right now i think they tolerate the moveon.org crowd because they want to win so bad they can taste it. but if it doesn't pay off, they're going to be pissed. So now that i think about it, maybe i don't want to see Obama win. Maybe it'll be more fun to watch the Democratic party eat itself alive.


Gaming

- nothing new here. Been playing nothing but World of Warcraft. I have a 70 Pally, a 70 Hunter and to avoid burnout i'm now leveling a Rogue.


Movies/TV

- The Dark Knight lives up to the hype and then some. Cinema godhood hath Heath Ledger attained.

- I'm in for some bittersweet TV viewing. Battlestar Galactica and The Shield.... when they come back on it's only to end the series.

- I can tell my sister is getting tired of me walking in while she's watching these dating reality shows (bachelor/bachelorette) and saying "so when are they going to ask one of these guys/girls if they can taste the dozen other men/women on the person they just made out with?"


Personal Life

- none. I go to work, i come home, i game, i surf the web. I don't have a life. meh. I'm cool with that. i see no need to spend the time/money/effort to go out.

Pool + Dominos =

The coolest fucking pool shot EVER.

Petition

finally a real petition we need to all support.

This petition is to stop Uwe Boll from ever making movies again. For those of you unfamiliar with his previous work he is responsible for such atrocities as

Bloodrayne 1/2/3
Postal
Alone in the Dark
House of the Dead

if you've never seen these movie, count yourself lucky. i've only seen 2 of them and GOD was it painful.


Sign here

goooooooal

Hilarious. Watch the goalie sneak off and beat the crap out of the other goalie.

Heartbreak Ridge

Best moments of Heartbreak Ridge. love this movie.





i need to find the cadence scene.

Model A Ford and a tank full of gas,
handful of pussy and a mouth full of ass.....

UPDATE: found it!!! about 3 min into this one.

orders to kill

it isn't often that i advocate direct and specific violence against people. ok, well maybe it isn't. but this time i'm serious, there are some people out there that need to die. because that's the only way to stop them.

these people are the people behind the movies...

- superhero movie
- epic movie
- meet the spartans
- date movie
- scary movie 1/2/3/4


spoof movies reached the peak back in the days of Airplane and Naked Gun. you won't top them. this massive abortion of shitty movies we've been getting is a crime against humanity. please, someone kill the people responsible for putting these movies in theaters. please.

Airplane

scenes from one of the top 10 funniest movies ever.


Golly!




Why the hell aren't i notified about these things!?!

Spaceships

Link to

Great Spaceship Sacrifices.

with video.

this is good stuff. personally i think the Pegasus from Battlestar Galactica is the best. Simply because the whole episode was just plain fucking awesome. I mean, you're watching and you're thinking, "oh man how the hell are they getting out of this one?" and then Lee shows up and starts whooping Cylon ass. This was the same episode that had the Galactica entering the planet's atmosphere, launching fighters, and then hyperjumping a few hundred feet off the ground in a fit of TV badassery.


UPDATE: here you go. both scenes. god this was an awesome episode.

Funny

ladies and gentlemen i present the funniest musical number in movie history. EVER. EEEEVVVVEEERRRRR.

overquoted movies

tonight's "tales of jackassery" we take you to a blog post by someone who decided he was going to tell us the 10 most obnoxiously overquoted movies.

ok, so here's my problems with the list.

1 - he didn't stay with 10. i mean jesus, his list had at #7 "anything with samuel l jackson". HUH? congrats retard, you just expanded the list from 10 to about 100. #4 was "the austin powers series". that's 3 you idiot. if the list is 10 then stay with 10.

2 - he didn't really take social crowds into consideration. maybe all HIS nimrod friends quote Napoleon Dynamite, but i'm afraid quoting it around my friends will get you a funny look and an ass-kicking.

3 - no history in context. monty python was the only movie older than 10 years. this jackass never heard "show me the money!!"???? i wanna poke people's eyes out when i hear that quoted and i've never even seen the movie (long story, i'll explain sometime why). maybe it's just some 10 year old kid blogging. come to think of it, given his amazing math skills, maybe he IS 10.

4 - the ancorman rant. he goes on some long-ass spiel about Will Farrell and when it comes time to list quotes.... half of them are Steve Carell lines. consistency there spanky. how about some consistency.


so anyways, just to show it isn't just all negative here in Rantville i'm going to help out by giving my own list. a list of movies that are fun to quote and people will never stop. unlike dumbass, i'm not going to set a number only to go over it by 100. so here's a list.

Movies We Love to Quote and Probably Won't Stop Any Time Soon

- anything by Mel Brooks. you can't go wrong quoting Mel movies. the man is a comedy god.
"hey where are the white women at?"
"we're not just doing this for money.....we're doing it for a SHITLOAD of money!!!"
"what in the wide wide world of sports is a going on here?!?!"

- the Naked Gun series. the 3rd one didn't quite live up to the hilarity of the other 2, but it was still great, and i like being able to see OJ on the TV and not say "oh god what has he done NOW?"
"nice beaver."
"Hey look! it's Enrico Pallazzo!!!"
"just think, the next time i shoot someone, i could be arrested."
"i've been swimming in raw sewage. i love it!"

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail. screw him, this movie never gets old. EVER.
"let's not bicker and argue about who killed who"
"have at you!!"
"she turned me into a newt!!"

- anything Arnold did prior to Twins. that isn't to say he hasn't done good movies since then, but after that he just never had quite the same.... i dunno. it just wasn't the same.
"crush your enemy, see him driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women!!"
"go ahead bennett, let off some steam."
"you remember when i said i'd kill you last? i lied."
"i'll be back"
"Killian, here's your Subzero, now plain zero!!"


random tangent...... i was on imdb checking out Conan the Barbarian. check out the trivia section. this is cool.

- Conan's response to the Mongol General is an abbreviation of a real quote attributed to Gengis Khan: "The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger had to tone down his workout, as his arm/chest muscles were so big that he couldn't wield a sword properly.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sandahl Bergman did their own stunts, as suitable body doubles couldn't be found.
- The life of Conan oddly mirrors that of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Conan's formative years are spent in a small village, then spent in hard manual labor as a slave. Then Conan gains fame and wealth through his physical prowess. Although at first given to wine and women, he eventually abandons his hedonism and uses his skills for acts of heroism. Eventually, Conan becomes a king. In real life, Schwarzenegger was born in a small Austrian village and spent his life bodybuilding. He then becomes famous and wealthy through bodybuilding competitions and action/adventure movies. Schwarzenegger engaged in drug use and womanizing in his past, but gave those up later in life and then campaigned for social causes. Eventually, he was elected Governor of California.

Saved movies

11 movies made BETTER due to historical inaccuracy.

#5 - read the "why it would have sucked otherwise". i agree 1000%

What song?

what song is he signing. guess before the halfway point!!

2008 in movies

2008 should be box office gold.

what I'm looking forward to most?

- Rambo (the trailers are great, and Stallone did a damn good job bringing Rocky back)
- Iron Man (seriously though, who ISN'T looking forward to this one? you suck if you aren't)
- Speed Racer (it's either going to be really really good or suck something fierce.)
- Semi-Pro (i think will farrell is going to be doing every sport. i look forward to his chess movie.)
- The Dark Knight (will Ledger do Joker justice? early reports seem to say YES.)

Fight Scenes

way back when i was in Afghanistan i was working on a series of lists. It was a bunch of lists under the massive heading "best fight scene". it was a series since there are so many ways to classify fight scenes. guns or no guns? weapons or hand-to-hand? best music? vehicles? i never really got anywhere with it. in fact i only got a few entires into the "best start to a fight" list. i found it while digging up some old documents i had backed up on CD. here you go.


BEST START.

1 – CONAN THE DESTROYER. The crypt fight. Conan whipping out a knife and with a simple “Enough talk!!” he starts some shit. Classic Arnold.

2 – SUPERMAN 2. The big showdown. This was a great opening to a great fight. “Come son of jor-el, kneel before zod!!!” how much better does it get? This was not only a great opening, but it set the stage for a classic comedy moment in Mallrats. You better know what I’m talking about.

3 – STAR WARS RETURN OF THE JEDI. There are several fights in this movie that all start great. Like the pit of Carkoon. Everyone is held captive, about to be executed, Luke is walking the plank and things couldn’t looks worse. And in the span of a couple seconds with a simple hand-signal Luke signals R2 and next thing you know he’s gone from about-to-die-captive to opening-can-of-whoopass-jedi. That’s just friggin awesome. The lightsaber duel between father and son. Luke gives into the dark side and gets ready strike down the emperor. But there’s darth…..it makes it clear to Luke he can’t escape a confrontation with him.

4 – DESPERADO. The big showdown between Antonio and his boys against the bad guys. “let’s play.” Simple yet effective.

5 – MATRIX. Lobby shootout. I think we all reacted the same as the guard when Neo opened the jacket showing a fucking arsenal underneath. “holy shit!”

6 – ALIENS. The fight in the cooling tower area. “Let’s rock!!!!” that’s awesome. Vasquez was such a badass.

Bioshock vs Incredibles

part of why i used to write in this blog is to point out how fucking retarded other people are. so i can show what stupid things they say. you the reader get to read these things and then laugh with me. i've been slacking off. so here's something to get it started again.

some jackass decided to compare the video game Bioshock (which is a great game) and the Disney film The Incredibles.

you can read it and draw your own conclusions. my conclusion is that he really really missed the fucking point.

- celebrating mediocrity. Bob's rant on celebrating mediocrity was meant as a critique on how pitiful modern society has made or is making kids. it was meant as a spit in the eye of every stupid sports league that insists EVERYONE gets a trophy no matter how shitty you play or how little effort you give. which leads to my next point.

- "and when everyone's special, no one will be" that quote from the movie spells it out. when you start rewarding everyone for doing the smallest of things, then the real accomplishments will mean nothing.

- this part was just plain funny.

My law professor once called "The Incredibles" a "Republican movie." There are those that are incredible, there are those that aren't incredible, and that's just the way life is. You have to just have "it" in you (i.e. in the "Republican" analogy, "it" would be wealth, power, or an overriding desire for those things) and if you don't, you're looked down upon. When I first heard him, I didn't really know what the hell he was talking about. But now, I think I've come to terms with it.

kinda slow on the uptake aren't you? it took me 2 seconds to figure out what your jackass liberal douche of a law professor was talking about. he sees the world as all liberals see it. the rich are evil and think that everyone who isn't rich is beneath them. it is the government's DUTY to take their money and give it to the poor, whether they earned it or not.

- he barely mentioned Bioshock. the point of which was that some form of authority is always going to come about and that if left unchecked it will always go out of control.

bottom line: what a moron.