I think Obama getting another term is a foregone conclusion unless something HUGE happens. That being said my friend Chris says the GOP should put Palin up just for laughs. Funny thought but.... I say if we're going to go for "aw fuck it" picks..... let's get creative.
- 2 gays guys. change the mascot during the campaign to a pink elephant.
- 2 firefighters or soldiers. one from NY the other from Boston. theme of "if we can set aside our differences so can you"
- Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. let's go for the hottest looking ticket.
- 2 porn stars. theme "if you're going to elect someone who's going to fuck people and suck up.... let's get real professionals!!"
- James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman. It'll be better than Obama. Black, but even MORE pleasant to listen to the speeches. Since being all talk is all the rage in Presidents now.
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Honestly, no matter who the GOP puts up these guys are far better.
- The Rock and Stone Cold. theme of "fight you for it"
- Jeff Foxworthy and Rodney Carrington. theme of "if the right is going to be called redneck hillbillies no matter what, let's get guys that are hilarious."
- Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta. or.... Ving Rhames and Bruce Willis.
- Christopher Walken and Will Farrell. chris does all the talking, will follows him around with a cowbell.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Friday, April 01, 2011
thoughts-a-popping
So i read about the 7 co-workers in NY who claimed the $319 million lottery winnings. it's kinda funny. when they throw a number like 319,000,000 out there every thinks "those people are stupid rich!!!!" but not really. taking cash option and after taxes, each of them take home just over 19 million. so they're set for life if their smart, but they won't be buying any islands any time soon.
i was reading another article on how some guy was writing about how he hated the lottery because he saw it as preying upon the poor. it offers a false sense of hope more or less according to this guy. now, to be fair, he wasn't opposed to the novelty and amusement of it all, the problem was that so many people see it as a legit retirement strategy. to which i agree. if your whole plan to retire is "win lotto" then you might as well the join the underpants gnomes. (step 1: collect underpants step 2: ???? step 3: profit)
here's the thing. the idea of instant wealth can ONLY be something that appeals to the poor. they're the only ones with nowhere else to look. you think the CEO of GM is sitting around wondering how much better life would be if he suddenly had an extra 20 mil? no. something like the lotto only stimulates the hopes and dreams of those who have none. look, i'll speak from experience here. i don't see a good future for me. i don't look towards the horizon with anything approaching optimism. here's where i sympathize with people who think instant money is the only way out. what else is there? when you live paycheck-to-paycheck what the hell else is there? people who scrape by don't sit around and talk diverse stock portfolios. they talk about saving up to get their car fixed or trying to figure out which kid they get to send to college.
and speaking of that, i'll say this.... if i have anything remotely close to a retirement "plan" so far all i got is "don't get married or have kids". seriously, that's it. if i'm ever saving up for the future i better make damn sure i'm the only one i'll be spending it on. i dunno HOW those of you with families do it. like, i seriously can't comprehend what budgeting and saving around a spouse with kids would be like. so i guess kristen, carrie, yolanda, and kristin all dodged a bullet cuz I am NOT a good provider.
which brings me to another thing. i've been reading in a lot of different opinion pieces a reference to this book about how Men are (basically) refusing to "grow up" nowadays. that the strides in female empowerment have left us as peter pans who refuse to grow up and accept big boy responsibilities. to which i say "wow, only a chick with a huge ego would believe THAT load of shit." the truth lies more along the lines of how Scott Adams said in a blog piece he wrote (scott adams creator of Dilbert) offering the theory that guys just take the path of least resistance. which is true. guys are refusing to marry more and more not because "oh we just can't handle a strong woman." it's because we ask "why the shit would i roll the dice on getting hitched when the odds are LITERALLY 50-50 that i'm going to get divorced which puts me at the mercy of a law structure currently designed to favor the woman? why would i willingly offer up my youth and wealth when odds are i'm going to end up getting fucked over in the end?" i don't get how anyone sees that as "refusing to grow up" and not "calculated logical conclusion based on a pro-con agruement favoring personal gratification". like i said, only the vanity of a woman would interprit this as "giving up to the might of women!!" and not "why am i playing a rigged game?"
i was reading another article on how some guy was writing about how he hated the lottery because he saw it as preying upon the poor. it offers a false sense of hope more or less according to this guy. now, to be fair, he wasn't opposed to the novelty and amusement of it all, the problem was that so many people see it as a legit retirement strategy. to which i agree. if your whole plan to retire is "win lotto" then you might as well the join the underpants gnomes. (step 1: collect underpants step 2: ???? step 3: profit)
here's the thing. the idea of instant wealth can ONLY be something that appeals to the poor. they're the only ones with nowhere else to look. you think the CEO of GM is sitting around wondering how much better life would be if he suddenly had an extra 20 mil? no. something like the lotto only stimulates the hopes and dreams of those who have none. look, i'll speak from experience here. i don't see a good future for me. i don't look towards the horizon with anything approaching optimism. here's where i sympathize with people who think instant money is the only way out. what else is there? when you live paycheck-to-paycheck what the hell else is there? people who scrape by don't sit around and talk diverse stock portfolios. they talk about saving up to get their car fixed or trying to figure out which kid they get to send to college.
and speaking of that, i'll say this.... if i have anything remotely close to a retirement "plan" so far all i got is "don't get married or have kids". seriously, that's it. if i'm ever saving up for the future i better make damn sure i'm the only one i'll be spending it on. i dunno HOW those of you with families do it. like, i seriously can't comprehend what budgeting and saving around a spouse with kids would be like. so i guess kristen, carrie, yolanda, and kristin all dodged a bullet cuz I am NOT a good provider.
which brings me to another thing. i've been reading in a lot of different opinion pieces a reference to this book about how Men are (basically) refusing to "grow up" nowadays. that the strides in female empowerment have left us as peter pans who refuse to grow up and accept big boy responsibilities. to which i say "wow, only a chick with a huge ego would believe THAT load of shit." the truth lies more along the lines of how Scott Adams said in a blog piece he wrote (scott adams creator of Dilbert) offering the theory that guys just take the path of least resistance. which is true. guys are refusing to marry more and more not because "oh we just can't handle a strong woman." it's because we ask "why the shit would i roll the dice on getting hitched when the odds are LITERALLY 50-50 that i'm going to get divorced which puts me at the mercy of a law structure currently designed to favor the woman? why would i willingly offer up my youth and wealth when odds are i'm going to end up getting fucked over in the end?" i don't get how anyone sees that as "refusing to grow up" and not "calculated logical conclusion based on a pro-con agruement favoring personal gratification". like i said, only the vanity of a woman would interprit this as "giving up to the might of women!!" and not "why am i playing a rigged game?"
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Think about it
So I was reading different stories on the Egypt thing and in a few comments I saw this quote from "V for Vendetta"
People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Now when you first see it and you think about the romantic notion of fighting the power that sounds like a damn good quote. Then I thought about it for a minute. Wait, the Government AFRAID of something? That's not good. A government is made up of people. People with the same weaknesses and reactions as the rest of us. (something i think most people forget nowadays). The government isn't some computer that makes a mental note of 'do not piss off the people'. If a government AKA the people running the show are afraid of everyone what do you think is going to happen? BAD SHIT. fear is never something you want to happen to someone in power. Fear tends to bring out bad, hasty, extreme decisions in people. Once again, NOT something you want the people who run the whole show to be expreiencing.
People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Now when you first see it and you think about the romantic notion of fighting the power that sounds like a damn good quote. Then I thought about it for a minute. Wait, the Government AFRAID of something? That's not good. A government is made up of people. People with the same weaknesses and reactions as the rest of us. (something i think most people forget nowadays). The government isn't some computer that makes a mental note of 'do not piss off the people'. If a government AKA the people running the show are afraid of everyone what do you think is going to happen? BAD SHIT. fear is never something you want to happen to someone in power. Fear tends to bring out bad, hasty, extreme decisions in people. Once again, NOT something you want the people who run the whole show to be expreiencing.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Unleashed
Don't ever let me win the lottery.
We were all chatting at work the other day on what kind of spending orgies we'd embark on if we found ourselves overnight millionaires. I gotta say, I don't think i'd go on a spending binge. Here's my listing of things i'd do.
- take care of people. specifically my family and friends. family, i would set aside a chunk and give it to my parents and have them dole it out since i trust them to know who REALLY needs it. i'd also have them tell everyone they give it to "this is all you get. do not come back later asking for more cuz you ain't getting it. this is free money you didn't have to do anything to get so be grateful and don't push your luck." Dad will probably have to be the one to say it since my mom is too nice to say something like that. Friends, they'd get a little somethin-somethin thrown at them. Jimmy Ballard looks out for people he likes.
- Car. a given. I'm getting my Camaro back and she'll be supercharged to like 900 Horsepower. I'd rent Texas Motor Speedway for a day after i did and spend all day driving 200 MPH.
- Investments. I'd have to find an expert on this. One would think real estate but the way the housing market is going, who knows.
- Businesses. My dreams of opening gaming centers, and a bar will come true. The gaming center would be a giant warehouse converted to contain tons and tons of PC/console gaming stations. We'd have a membership program that has to be opened by a parent. Maybe run some kind of after school program with tutors to help kids with schoolwork. Shoehorn in a snack bar, repair shop, and a store that builds custom rigs. The bar would be something that blends the coziness of an Irish pub with the party-ness of a sports bar. There will be guitar hero contests. There's going to be karaoke with the conditions that staff members will carry paintball guns that will be used if you suck. Wet T-shirt contests. Beerfest night. and most importantly, the rant stage. A microphone on a platform in which a person will, after buying a shot or a pitcher or something, will be granted a certain amount of time to get up and go off on whatever the hell they want that's bothering them. Anyone who doesn't like what's being said can feel free to buy a drink and go on after. We'll keep security on hand and lay down a few common sense rules to keep it somewhat civil. Tell me this wouldn't get better the more drunk people got.
- Entertainment. I'd spend the next few years getting part time jobs and seeing what I can do to get fired. If you sit at your job and think "boy i wish i could tell this customer this" or "I would totally do this if it wouldn't get me fired" well i'd be doing it. I'd work at McDonalds and laugh at the fat chicks who order diet drinks. things like that.
Things I wouldn't do.
- buy a huge mansion. what the hell do i need all that space for? I'd rather buy an apartment complex and take over connected apartments for myself.
- looking fancy. i'm still dressing in jeans and tshirts. i'm not wearing $1000 shirts or anything that stupid.
- Marriage. nope. not that i was before but now i'm REALLY not getting hitched. in fact one of my first things i'm doing would be getting myself snipped to make sure some bitch doesn't try and pull the old "i'm on birth control baby" bit.
- give to charity. i'm pretty sure word would get out on how rich I am so i'm sure the freeloaders will be lining up. it's real simple. you aren't getting money. i don't give a shit what kind of sob story you have. Oh and first person to ask for money on behalf of a church? I'm hiring someone to beat the shit out of you with a cross.
We were all chatting at work the other day on what kind of spending orgies we'd embark on if we found ourselves overnight millionaires. I gotta say, I don't think i'd go on a spending binge. Here's my listing of things i'd do.
- take care of people. specifically my family and friends. family, i would set aside a chunk and give it to my parents and have them dole it out since i trust them to know who REALLY needs it. i'd also have them tell everyone they give it to "this is all you get. do not come back later asking for more cuz you ain't getting it. this is free money you didn't have to do anything to get so be grateful and don't push your luck." Dad will probably have to be the one to say it since my mom is too nice to say something like that. Friends, they'd get a little somethin-somethin thrown at them. Jimmy Ballard looks out for people he likes.
- Car. a given. I'm getting my Camaro back and she'll be supercharged to like 900 Horsepower. I'd rent Texas Motor Speedway for a day after i did and spend all day driving 200 MPH.
- Investments. I'd have to find an expert on this. One would think real estate but the way the housing market is going, who knows.
- Businesses. My dreams of opening gaming centers, and a bar will come true. The gaming center would be a giant warehouse converted to contain tons and tons of PC/console gaming stations. We'd have a membership program that has to be opened by a parent. Maybe run some kind of after school program with tutors to help kids with schoolwork. Shoehorn in a snack bar, repair shop, and a store that builds custom rigs. The bar would be something that blends the coziness of an Irish pub with the party-ness of a sports bar. There will be guitar hero contests. There's going to be karaoke with the conditions that staff members will carry paintball guns that will be used if you suck. Wet T-shirt contests. Beerfest night. and most importantly, the rant stage. A microphone on a platform in which a person will, after buying a shot or a pitcher or something, will be granted a certain amount of time to get up and go off on whatever the hell they want that's bothering them. Anyone who doesn't like what's being said can feel free to buy a drink and go on after. We'll keep security on hand and lay down a few common sense rules to keep it somewhat civil. Tell me this wouldn't get better the more drunk people got.
- Entertainment. I'd spend the next few years getting part time jobs and seeing what I can do to get fired. If you sit at your job and think "boy i wish i could tell this customer this" or "I would totally do this if it wouldn't get me fired" well i'd be doing it. I'd work at McDonalds and laugh at the fat chicks who order diet drinks. things like that.
Things I wouldn't do.
- buy a huge mansion. what the hell do i need all that space for? I'd rather buy an apartment complex and take over connected apartments for myself.
- looking fancy. i'm still dressing in jeans and tshirts. i'm not wearing $1000 shirts or anything that stupid.
- Marriage. nope. not that i was before but now i'm REALLY not getting hitched. in fact one of my first things i'm doing would be getting myself snipped to make sure some bitch doesn't try and pull the old "i'm on birth control baby" bit.
- give to charity. i'm pretty sure word would get out on how rich I am so i'm sure the freeloaders will be lining up. it's real simple. you aren't getting money. i don't give a shit what kind of sob story you have. Oh and first person to ask for money on behalf of a church? I'm hiring someone to beat the shit out of you with a cross.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Obama Nixon
Seriously, with all the Obama Nixon comparisons being drawn lately when it comes to Obama and the White House going after Fox News, how long till we see Obama getting handed an honorary degree by a pig?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Single moms ad
You know, that ad on facebook to meet single moms is misleading. I click thinking "hell yeah, meet some disgruntled mom who wants to release all that sexual frustration in an evening where she's free of the kids and free to make herself feel like that young gal who was out partying her butt off before she got married and had kids and found her husband off with some other woman and now she harbors that resentment and she wants to find some sucker of a man to rock his world and make him her love slave by over-sexing him and then crushing his soul, but she doesn't realize i'm wise to her ploy and that i keep MY soul in a coffee tin in a safety deposit box. Over-sex all you like missy, it won't work."
Only when i click the ad it goes to the home page and says "click here to meet other single parents". what a sec, OTHER??? you mean i have to have my own kid to get in on this? what a gyp!!!
I need to see if there's a site for hot chicks looking to act like total whores only if you promise to still respect them in the morning. I won't but, ya know, I can totally say i will and make it sound convincing.
Only when i click the ad it goes to the home page and says "click here to meet other single parents". what a sec, OTHER??? you mean i have to have my own kid to get in on this? what a gyp!!!
I need to see if there's a site for hot chicks looking to act like total whores only if you promise to still respect them in the morning. I won't but, ya know, I can totally say i will and make it sound convincing.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Dumpster
Couple caught having sex in dumpster.
I wish i could say this was an odd story to hear, but i heard about this kind of thing happening before when i was in Basic Training.
granted.... key word here is "heard". I also heard they were putting stuff in the food so we wouldn't get erections.
I wish i could say this was an odd story to hear, but i heard about this kind of thing happening before when i was in Basic Training.
granted.... key word here is "heard". I also heard they were putting stuff in the food so we wouldn't get erections.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Turbaconducken
Ladies and Gentlemen, i present the greatest holiday dish i've ever seen.
The Turbaconducken
That's right, a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey ALL WRAPPED IN BACON.
awwwwww yeah.... boyeeeeee.....
The Turbaconducken
That's right, a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey ALL WRAPPED IN BACON.
awwwwww yeah.... boyeeeeee.....
Saturday, January 31, 2009
didn't need that
So in the gym at the palace they have some TVs in the cardio room. They play totally random movies. Well this morning when I went in there they had "Charlie Wilson's War" playing.
DUDE.... I'm trying to work out.... the last thing i need to see is TOM HANKS ASS!!!!
Come to think of it, I didn't need to see naked chicks either. Cardio and erections don't mix. You know it's bad when I'm averting my eyes from a TV showing boobs.
DUDE.... I'm trying to work out.... the last thing i need to see is TOM HANKS ASS!!!!
Come to think of it, I didn't need to see naked chicks either. Cardio and erections don't mix. You know it's bad when I'm averting my eyes from a TV showing boobs.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
shopping
Ok so yesterday i went to this store and in it the guy had some zippo kits. the thing was all he had was zippos that were for Army and Marines. I asked the guy if he had Air Force ones and he said he didn't but to check back tomorrow. Sure enough, i went back tonight and he had this.
guess how much it cost me.....
10 bucks.
i love shopping around here.
guess how much it cost me.....
10 bucks.
i love shopping around here.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Live in Iraq
Ok so i'm finally in Iraq. So far it's about what i expected. Some items of note.
- I spent a week at Fort Benning, Georgia getting processed to come here. It's run by the Army and lemme tell you the place needs to be renamed to "Camp SNAFU" with the motto, "if there's a stupider way to do it, we'll find it". I was ensnared by so much stupid i thought my head would explode. Go right to hell Fort Benning CRC.
- The flight here wasn't much better. Long story short... it was a 40 hour journey that started with my getting up at 5 in the morning to drag 2 huge damn bags around in pouring rain.
- This place is quite interesting. I had breakfast this morning in a palace. literally. the chow hall was an old palace with marble all over and fancy carvings and everything. I think that's pretty damn cool.
- Good ole AFN and the commercials. I couldn't help but notice there's been some changes to the commercials since way back when i watched AFN when my dad was stationed in Turkey and Spain. They still have the ones about Code of Conduct and Military history and such, but i don't remember commercials about suicide prevention, sexual assault, or about not taking advantage of drunk chicks.
- I haven't even been to the "best" ones but the chow halls and different PXs i've been to are ones i'd have killed for in Afghanistan.
- I'm very upbeat about work. I'm going to get to do actual networking work. I got to crimp a CAT-5 cable... something i hadn't done since i was in school at ITT Tech.
- I spent a week at Fort Benning, Georgia getting processed to come here. It's run by the Army and lemme tell you the place needs to be renamed to "Camp SNAFU" with the motto, "if there's a stupider way to do it, we'll find it". I was ensnared by so much stupid i thought my head would explode. Go right to hell Fort Benning CRC.
- The flight here wasn't much better. Long story short... it was a 40 hour journey that started with my getting up at 5 in the morning to drag 2 huge damn bags around in pouring rain.
- This place is quite interesting. I had breakfast this morning in a palace. literally. the chow hall was an old palace with marble all over and fancy carvings and everything. I think that's pretty damn cool.
- Good ole AFN and the commercials. I couldn't help but notice there's been some changes to the commercials since way back when i watched AFN when my dad was stationed in Turkey and Spain. They still have the ones about Code of Conduct and Military history and such, but i don't remember commercials about suicide prevention, sexual assault, or about not taking advantage of drunk chicks.
- I haven't even been to the "best" ones but the chow halls and different PXs i've been to are ones i'd have killed for in Afghanistan.
- I'm very upbeat about work. I'm going to get to do actual networking work. I got to crimp a CAT-5 cable... something i hadn't done since i was in school at ITT Tech.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Simpsons did it
Is it just me or did Obama's campaign play out like the race for sanitation commissioner on the Simpsons episode?
You got one guy who's the experienced person and the other guy who comes in not really presenting any plans just promising "can't someone else do it?" and in the end the people elected the guy making wild promises of the government coming in and doing everything for them.
I just hope Obama gets the money to pay for everyone's gas and mortgage by selling drugs instead of letting other countries dump their garbage on our property.
You got one guy who's the experienced person and the other guy who comes in not really presenting any plans just promising "can't someone else do it?" and in the end the people elected the guy making wild promises of the government coming in and doing everything for them.
I just hope Obama gets the money to pay for everyone's gas and mortgage by selling drugs instead of letting other countries dump their garbage on our property.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
random things to say
i know, i've been slacking off in my blogging.
ok, so i'm back in the DC area. all i need is my medical and dental clearance and off i go to Iraq. this needs to hurry the hell up. living in a hotel not making tons of money is getting old. i just got back from a 2 week trip to help out a coworker with some things at 2 other offices. In Detroit and San Diego.
- Detroit is a hellhole of a city. If i lived there I'd kill myself. is there anything to do there besides drink, gamble, and go to strip clubs? Cuz that's all i did when i was there. don't get me wrong, i love doing all 3. in fact i think i have a new front runner in the "best strip club experience by Jimmy" category. i still can't get over how awesome Carmen's ass was. Yeah but Detroit is just a depressing city period.
- San Diego is a tropical El Paso. It looks better, weather is better, and it still looks like you're in the United States and not Mexico.
- The Subaru Legacy is a shitty vehicle. A really really crappy car.
- What the fuck is up with California people and prefacing freeways with "the"??? Let's take THE 5 to THE 15. who the hell else talks like that? up yours California you freaks. It bugs me because it smacks of those dipshits in Ohio and their THE Ohio State shit. fuck that whole school.
- my fantasy football season SUCKS.
ok, so i'm back in the DC area. all i need is my medical and dental clearance and off i go to Iraq. this needs to hurry the hell up. living in a hotel not making tons of money is getting old. i just got back from a 2 week trip to help out a coworker with some things at 2 other offices. In Detroit and San Diego.
- Detroit is a hellhole of a city. If i lived there I'd kill myself. is there anything to do there besides drink, gamble, and go to strip clubs? Cuz that's all i did when i was there. don't get me wrong, i love doing all 3. in fact i think i have a new front runner in the "best strip club experience by Jimmy" category. i still can't get over how awesome Carmen's ass was. Yeah but Detroit is just a depressing city period.
- San Diego is a tropical El Paso. It looks better, weather is better, and it still looks like you're in the United States and not Mexico.
- The Subaru Legacy is a shitty vehicle. A really really crappy car.
- What the fuck is up with California people and prefacing freeways with "the"??? Let's take THE 5 to THE 15. who the hell else talks like that? up yours California you freaks. It bugs me because it smacks of those dipshits in Ohio and their THE Ohio State shit. fuck that whole school.
- my fantasy football season SUCKS.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Get to know me
found this "get to know me" thing on myspace. figured what the hell, i'm bored.
Basics:
Name: Jimmy Ballard
Date of Birth: 29 March 1976
Birthplace: El Paso, Texas
Current Location: Hotel, Falls Church, Virginia
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5'10"
Heritage: Hispanic
Piercings: Fuck no
Tattoos: None right now
Favorite:
Band/Singer: Lots
Song: Depends
Movie: Tons
TV show: South Park, Battlestar Galactica
Color: Black
Food: Mesquite Chicken w/ Bacon from Quiznos
Pizza topping: Pepperoni
Ice-Cream Flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Drink (alcoholic): Bud Light
Soda: Mountain Dew
Store: Best Buy
This or That
Sunny or rainy: Rainy
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: fruit i guess
Night or day: night
Sour or sweet: sweet
Love or money: money
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: looks
Coffee or tea: tea
Hot or cold: cold
Your:
Goal for this year: make money, learn about job, not get killed
Most missed memory: i dunno
Best physical feature: none, i'm fugly
First thought waking up: boy that was a waste of time
Preferred type of plastic surgery: right now, Liposuction
Sesame street alter ego: Oscar. duh
Most stupid remark: tons of them
Greatest ambition: i got none.
Greatest fear: getting in another relationship
Darkest secret: like i'd post THAT
Strangest received gift: dunno
Worst habit: smoking i guess
Do You:
Smoke: yup
Drink: yup
Curse: fuck yeah
Shower daily: yup
Like thunderstorms: yup
Dance in the rain: nope
Sing: no no hell no
Play an instrument: the plastic guitar on rock band
Get along with your parents: yup
Wish on stars: not anymore
Believe in fate: kinda
Believe in love at first sight: fuck no
Can You:
Drive: oh yes. fast
Sew: a little
Cook: mac and cheese
Speak another language: used to speak some Turkish
Dance: if i'm dancing you know i'm WASTED
Sing: nope
Touch your nose with your tongue: if i could i'd be getting paid more often
Whistle: yup
Curl your tongue: yup
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: oh hell yeah
Been Stoned/High: nope
Eaten Sushi: nope
Been in Love: yup
Skipped school: yup
Made prank calls: nope
Sent someone a love letter: yup
Stolen something: i'm a net pirate
Cried yourself to sleep: i think so, i was drunk
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? too many things annoy me
Are you right or left handed? left
What is your bedtime? when i'm tired
Name three things you can't live without: internet, video games
Do you have any siblings? 1 of each
Do you have any pets? not now
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? hell yeah
What is you middle name? lee
What are you nicknames? yimmy, mayorjimmy, jamus, uncle gee gee (don't ask)
Are you for or against gay marriage? i don't care
Do you have a crush on anyone? no, just lots of chicks i wanna fuck
Are you afraid of the dark? nah
How do you want to die? crushed in a massive orgy
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? sure
What is the last law you’ve broken? speeding i guess
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: red
Eye color: light light blue or green
Height: shorter than me
Weight: less than me
Most important physical feature: not sure, depends on the girl
Biggest turn-off: facial piercings of any kind
Basics:
Name: Jimmy Ballard
Date of Birth: 29 March 1976
Birthplace: El Paso, Texas
Current Location: Hotel, Falls Church, Virginia
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5'10"
Heritage: Hispanic
Piercings: Fuck no
Tattoos: None right now
Favorite:
Band/Singer: Lots
Song: Depends
Movie: Tons
TV show: South Park, Battlestar Galactica
Color: Black
Food: Mesquite Chicken w/ Bacon from Quiznos
Pizza topping: Pepperoni
Ice-Cream Flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Drink (alcoholic): Bud Light
Soda: Mountain Dew
Store: Best Buy
This or That
Sunny or rainy: Rainy
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: fruit i guess
Night or day: night
Sour or sweet: sweet
Love or money: money
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: looks
Coffee or tea: tea
Hot or cold: cold
Your:
Goal for this year: make money, learn about job, not get killed
Most missed memory: i dunno
Best physical feature: none, i'm fugly
First thought waking up: boy that was a waste of time
Preferred type of plastic surgery: right now, Liposuction
Sesame street alter ego: Oscar. duh
Most stupid remark: tons of them
Greatest ambition: i got none.
Greatest fear: getting in another relationship
Darkest secret: like i'd post THAT
Strangest received gift: dunno
Worst habit: smoking i guess
Do You:
Smoke: yup
Drink: yup
Curse: fuck yeah
Shower daily: yup
Like thunderstorms: yup
Dance in the rain: nope
Sing: no no hell no
Play an instrument: the plastic guitar on rock band
Get along with your parents: yup
Wish on stars: not anymore
Believe in fate: kinda
Believe in love at first sight: fuck no
Can You:
Drive: oh yes. fast
Sew: a little
Cook: mac and cheese
Speak another language: used to speak some Turkish
Dance: if i'm dancing you know i'm WASTED
Sing: nope
Touch your nose with your tongue: if i could i'd be getting paid more often
Whistle: yup
Curl your tongue: yup
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: oh hell yeah
Been Stoned/High: nope
Eaten Sushi: nope
Been in Love: yup
Skipped school: yup
Made prank calls: nope
Sent someone a love letter: yup
Stolen something: i'm a net pirate
Cried yourself to sleep: i think so, i was drunk
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? too many things annoy me
Are you right or left handed? left
What is your bedtime? when i'm tired
Name three things you can't live without: internet, video games
Do you have any siblings? 1 of each
Do you have any pets? not now
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? hell yeah
What is you middle name? lee
What are you nicknames? yimmy, mayorjimmy, jamus, uncle gee gee (don't ask)
Are you for or against gay marriage? i don't care
Do you have a crush on anyone? no, just lots of chicks i wanna fuck
Are you afraid of the dark? nah
How do you want to die? crushed in a massive orgy
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? sure
What is the last law you’ve broken? speeding i guess
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: red
Eye color: light light blue or green
Height: shorter than me
Weight: less than me
Most important physical feature: not sure, depends on the girl
Biggest turn-off: facial piercings of any kind
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Rock on
Before i left TX i got together with some coworkers for some Rock Band goodness. We totally rock. Notice Tony in the middle has literally rocked out of his pants.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Friday, February 01, 2008
Firearms
Saw this online. I like it.
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
'Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.'
~ Thomas Jefferson
1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c)1791. All Rights Reserved.
11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 911: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
FIREARMS REFRESHER COURSE
'Those who hammer their guns into plows
will plow for those who do not.'
~ Thomas Jefferson
1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.
2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.
3. Colt: The original point and click interface.
4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.
5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?
6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.
7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.
8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.
9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.
10. The United States Constitution (c)1791. All Rights Reserved.
11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?
12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.
13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.
14. Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.
15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.
16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.
17. 911: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.
18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.
19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.
20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.
21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.
22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.
23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.
24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.
25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
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