Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Job questions

So i came across this blog post that talks about how some companies are getting creative in the job interview.  It also lists some that are kinda out there.

Here is the blog

I'm grabbing questions from the article that people say they've been asked and giving my answers.  Questions in italics, my answers in bold.  Enjoy.

If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?

Superman, because he's the greatest.  DUH

If every time you entered a room your theme song played, what would it be and why?

the indiana jones theme.  and i'd have a boulder follow me in the room.  cuz that's how i roll.

On a scale of 1-10, how weird are you? Why did you choose that number?

10.  *shrug*

What was your best MacGyver moment?

i once made a bazooka out of a paper clip and a stick of chewing gum.

If you saw someone steal a quarter, would you report it? If not, what dollar amount would you report?

depends.  do i KNOW they're stealing it?  beyond a shadow of a doubt?  if so i'd confront them with a "really dude?  you're going to get fired over a QUARTER?!?!?"

“I was once asked what I would bring if the department had a potluck.” - Amanda L.

a case of Monster and a healthy appetite.

“If you were a sea creature, what would you be and why?” - Jay D.

do penguins count as sea creatures?

“What color is your brain?” - Connie B.

depends.  still bloody?  fresh? 

“If you were a professional wrestler, what would your stage name be?” - Alyssa Giustino, KEH Communications


“How many airplanes are in the skies over the US right now?” - Timothy R. Yee, Green Retirement Plans, Inc.

if i actually knew that you think i'd be applying HERE?

“How would you open the locked and sealed window in this hotel room?” - Yee

i could try tossing someone thru it.  how much do you weigh?

“I was asked, if I went to the moon and can only bring three things, what would I bring? Oxygen and food were already provided. I said my bed — had a great mattress then– my friends and a dog.” - Cindy Holtzman, Medical Refund Service, Inc.

a bitchin moon buggy, a PC full of games and porn, and a death ray to hold the world ransom for.... one MEELLION DOLLARS!!!!

“I was asked if I knew how to make explosives, [right] after 9/11, in an interview for an administrative assistant position.” - @danileo1

would you settle for 4 alarm chili?

“What kind of car do you drive?” - Susan C.

a sad piece of shit that makes me sad every time i sit inside it.  next question, no i will not elaborate.

“Will you file my fingernails?” (For a position at a church.) - Autrey K.

under "F" for fingernails?

“I interviewed for a [job] waiting tables and the manager wanted to know how I would eat an ice cream cone.” - Peggy M.

uh.... yeah see the thing about that.... *runs*

“I was asked what my grade point average was in college. I have a BS, MS, Ph.D. and spent two and a half years as a postdoctoral scholar in a government research lab.” - Charles T.

1.5.... no wait that was my blood alcohol level.. no wait... DAMN!!!!  i need a do-over.

“If you had been on the Titanic would you have been in a row boat, on the ship, or freezing in the water? If you were a Spice Girl, what would you call yourself? How would you feel about doing small personal errands like dog-sitting or buying gifts for my ‘lady friends?’” (All from the same interview.) - Trina Rimmer,

i would escape in my jet pack.  you didn't think i'd go back in time to the Titanic without a plan did you?  I'd be surly spice, a real fucking ray of sunshine.  I'm going to assume by "errands" you mean deliver pizza and clean pipes.

“Who won the Super Bowl last year?” - Kevin D.


“So, are you married or whatever?” - @KYProgressive

hell no

“Kids you don’t have one of those, do you?” - Lois C.

god no

“Have you ever used state assistance?” - Katie L.

hell no

“Do you have migraines? Do you have small children? Do you like long vacations?” – Krishna S.

migraines.... only around small children.

“Do you attend church? What is your denomination?” - Katie B.

 HA HA HA HA!!!  good one.

“Do you spank your child?” - Karen

had i children i would rend them mercilessly.

“The strangest question I received was in regards to astrology. He was a real estate agent you wanted to know my date, time and where I was born. He wanted to see if we were a match. Needless to say I didn’t get the job.” - Teresa Turner,


“Are you gonna stay or just practicing for the next job?” - @soyflz

am i going to be given a reason to stay?

“Where do you see yourself globally?” - Andrew B.

lemme check the ole GPS....

“What is a secret about you that no one knows?” - Daniel S.

oh sure, i'll tell a total stranger.

I was asked “If you opened your sock drawer, what would it look like?” - Nancy Dahl. SheTaxi

what sock drawer?

“So if I were to go out and get a few drinks with your friends, what would they tell me about you?” - Kristin Rose

you seem like a nice person, don't piss Jimmy off.

“What is your favorite movie?” - @DMRyan711

i don't know.  it changes constantly.

“What’s the funniest Youtube video you have seen lately?” - @byuboston

a kitten clawing at food.

“What wine do you drink? What is your favorite bouquet?” - @Durudarshan

yeah, i don't do wine.  sorry.

“Which Winnie the Pooh character do you relate with the most and why?” - Celie H.

half Eeyore, half tigger.  i'm a person of extreme moods.

“If you were a Disney character, what character would you be and why?” - Jayne S.

I wanna be the prince from Snow White.  how awesome is that?  wandering around and oh hey there's a hot chick lemme just give her a smooch and poof she's up and she's in love with me.  time to get my freak on with a girl who's going to be tickled pink she's with a man over 3 feet tall.

“If a movie was made about your life, who would play you and why?” - @tofuti2001

The Rock.  because *punch* that's why.

“If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” - Jerry h.


“I was once asked if my closet was organized” - Crissy Landreth

yeah sure.  it's organized into clothes on hangers and clothes on floor.

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