I get media clips from my company in the email. this is one that i got.
i think the only way Robert Wood could come away from this looking dumber, was if he had a dunce cap on and his pants on backwards.
Excerpt From State Department Daily Press Briefing
Robert Wood/Acting Spokesman
January 29, 2009
QUESTION: About a month or two ago, there was an IG report that warned that Blackwater was likely going to lose its license to operate in Iraq. That has now happened. Considering that you guys have been aware of this impending decision for some time, I presume that contingency plans have been made. What are those? What are you going to do to protect your people?
MR. WOOD: Well, let me just say, first off, you know, contingency plans are obviously being looked at, but I think it was on January 23rd when the Ministry of Interior informed the Embassy in Baghdad that Blackwater’s applications for an operating license was not going to be approved. And so we’re going to encourage, of course, contractors working for us to comply with Iraqi law. We’re right now looking at the implications of this decision by the Iraqis for us. But let me just make clear that we will do everything necessary to make sure that our personnel have the security that they need.
QUESTION: Well, what do you mean you’re looking at the implications? Isn’t the implication that they can’t work there anymore and that you’re going to lose your main contractor?
MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re looking at, you know, the decision and we’re going to study and see what the implications will be, and then we’ll go forward.
QUESTION: I’m sorry, maybe I’m being dense here, but it seems to me that the obvious implication that you should already be aware of is that Blackwater can’t work in Iraq anymore.
MR. WOOD: I understand the decision. They were not granted an operating license
QUESTION: What more is there to look at?
MR. WOOD: Well, we have to study and see what we’re going to do next.
QUESTION: Right. Well, but you’ve been – this building has known for some time that this decision is coming down the pike, so –
MR. WOOD: Right, right, but we don’t have a decision ready to announce. We have to –
QUESTION: So Robert, who is protecting them today?
MR. WOOD: I’ll have to take a look at that. I’m not certain. I haven’t had a chance to look into that, but I’ll get the – we’ll get you something on that. I have to see who’s actually on the ground doing it. I’m just not sure at this point.
QUESTION: Do you intend to comply or do you intend to tell Blackwater to – if you’re going to – if you – you said you’re --
MR. WOOD: We have to comply with Iraqi law, period.
QUESTION: Exactly. So that means that you can’t – that your guys cannot use Blackwater as – for security guards, so -
MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re going to comply with the Iraqi decision. We have no choice but to do that. So we’re just right now trying to formulate how we’re going to go forward. But I just wanted to make clear that we’re going to do everything, you know, to make sure that our Embassy employees have the security they need.
QUESTION: How long do you have to comply? I mean, when does this take effect?
MR. WOOD: I don’t know, haven’t seen the details on that yet.
QUESTION: Wouldn’t you have decided how to go forward already since you knew it was coming?
MR. WOOD: Well, it’s not a question of knowing that it was coming. We wanted to make sure that we had a clear-cut response from the Iraqis, an official response. We have now – you know, we received that on January 23rd, as I said, and we’re looking at next steps. That’s about as much as I can give you at this point.
QUESTION: Would next steps be just, what, another contractor?
MR. WOOD: We’re looking at a variety of possibilities, but I’m not here to outline those possibilities at this point.
QUESTION: While you’re not here to outline the possibilities, wasn’t this contract part of the global contract where there were three that – companies that bid on the security? So couldn’t one of the other ones step in?
MR. WOOD: Well --
QUESTION: I mean, isn’t that the whole idea of having these massive contracts?
MR. WOOD: That’s a possibility, but we haven’t made a decision on how we’re going to go forward yet.
QUESTION: But you have two other contractors that are working in Iraq, DynCorp and Triple Canopy, right?
MR. WOOD: Right. That’s right.
QUESTION: So you could ostensibly just move Triple Canopy or DynCorp over, because you’ve done all the RFP work and other stuff, right?
MR. WOOD: Well, we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward yet, as I said. So I really don’t have any more to give you on that.
QUESTION: Is there a temporary security in place? I mean --
MR. WOOD: Like I said, I’m going to find out and get an answer to that question, because I’m not sure at this point.
QUESTION: It seems to be a bit irresponsible for the State Department not to have a backup plan and especially since you knew this was coming.
MR. WOOD: I did not say the State Department didn’t have a backup plan, but I said we’re looking at options and we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward.
QUESTION: Well, doesn’t it seem to be – I mean, wouldn’t it be appropriate to have had an idea in place so --
MR. WOOD: I’m not saying we don’t have ideas, you know.
QUESTION: Well, one that you were – had been approved and you were ready to go ahead with?
MR. WOOD: Matt, as I said, when we have something in terms of a way forward, we’ll certainly be happy to let you know. But at this point, we’re looking at our options, and that’s the prudent thing to do.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
its paying off
My suffering is not for nothing. stepped on the scale this morning.... 260. i'm also down a belt loop. slow progress but hopefully with my new workout routine it'll start paying off more and faster.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
where you ask
In case you wanna know just WHERE Rantville is located.....
(someone please get the Futurama reference)
(someone please get the Futurama reference)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
more qualifications
i'm adding on to my list of "if i ever lose my damn mind and get married this is the list of things the girl better have"
it was actually only a list of 1.
1 - not American. American women for the most part are just a pain in the ass. There are a shitload of women out there that aren't nearly as selfish and a fuck of a lot hotter. If you're one of those poor bastards who's only known and dated American women you're missing out. There are a lot of Spanish, German, British, Russian, Iraqi, Australian, and Thai girls (plenty more but i'm just naming a few places i've been) out there who aren't fucked up. for some of you American girls reading this who aren't fucked up, i apologize but that's why i said "for the MOST part" and not "all". i know some damn cool ones, but not nearly enough to make me think American chicks aren't a hassle.
anyways, i'm adding number 2.
2 - must be rhythmic gymnast. flexibility and agility are never overrated.
it was actually only a list of 1.
1 - not American. American women for the most part are just a pain in the ass. There are a shitload of women out there that aren't nearly as selfish and a fuck of a lot hotter. If you're one of those poor bastards who's only known and dated American women you're missing out. There are a lot of Spanish, German, British, Russian, Iraqi, Australian, and Thai girls (plenty more but i'm just naming a few places i've been) out there who aren't fucked up. for some of you American girls reading this who aren't fucked up, i apologize but that's why i said "for the MOST part" and not "all". i know some damn cool ones, but not nearly enough to make me think American chicks aren't a hassle.
anyways, i'm adding number 2.
2 - must be rhythmic gymnast. flexibility and agility are never overrated.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Keeping the faith
Ok so i took the dieting/exercise to another level.
Meals are gone for the most part. 6 days a week, i'm drinking protein shakes and eating protein bars. 1 day i can what i want (but i'm not going to go nuts. i still refuse to drink sodas and monster and eat candy. i won't let my old vices come back) and i've kicked up my cardio to 90 minutes a day.
i'm going to be hungry. and tired. and a little miserable. but it's the price i told myself i would have to pay for 6 and a half years of destroying my body.
I'll go back to destroying my body once i get it back to where it was years ago. even then, i might need to have people kick my ass to keep me working out and eating right ONCE in a while.
Meals are gone for the most part. 6 days a week, i'm drinking protein shakes and eating protein bars. 1 day i can what i want (but i'm not going to go nuts. i still refuse to drink sodas and monster and eat candy. i won't let my old vices come back) and i've kicked up my cardio to 90 minutes a day.
i'm going to be hungry. and tired. and a little miserable. but it's the price i told myself i would have to pay for 6 and a half years of destroying my body.
I'll go back to destroying my body once i get it back to where it was years ago. even then, i might need to have people kick my ass to keep me working out and eating right ONCE in a while.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Lefty and proud
What do i have in common with these pros? I'm a lefty too.
left-handed that is
10. Johan Santana, Baseball. Mets' ace's 2.53 ERA led all pitchers.
9. CC Sabathia, Baseball. Carried Brewers to the playoffs with an 11-2 post-trade record.
8. Manu Ginobli, Basketball. One of the most underrated players in the NBA and, in fact, the world.
7. Justin Morneau, Baseball. Twins' first baseman won AL MVP in '06 and All-Star Home Run Derby in '08.
6. Ryan Howard, Baseball. Majors-leading 48 homers, 146 RBI helped Phillies win World Series.
5. Chris Bosh, Basketball. Olympic Gold Medalist is 6th in NBA scoring.
4. Cliff Lee, Baseball. AL Cy Young winner with a gaudy 22-3 record.
3. Tim Tebow, Football. Two National Championships and a Heisman before his senior season.
2. Phil Mickelson, Golf. World's No. 3 might dominate in a parallel universe void of Tiger Woods.
1. Rafael Nadal, Tennis. World's No. 1 player, arguably the best ever on clay.
hat tip: Dallas Observer
left-handed that is
10. Johan Santana, Baseball. Mets' ace's 2.53 ERA led all pitchers.
9. CC Sabathia, Baseball. Carried Brewers to the playoffs with an 11-2 post-trade record.
8. Manu Ginobli, Basketball. One of the most underrated players in the NBA and, in fact, the world.
7. Justin Morneau, Baseball. Twins' first baseman won AL MVP in '06 and All-Star Home Run Derby in '08.
6. Ryan Howard, Baseball. Majors-leading 48 homers, 146 RBI helped Phillies win World Series.
5. Chris Bosh, Basketball. Olympic Gold Medalist is 6th in NBA scoring.
4. Cliff Lee, Baseball. AL Cy Young winner with a gaudy 22-3 record.
3. Tim Tebow, Football. Two National Championships and a Heisman before his senior season.
2. Phil Mickelson, Golf. World's No. 3 might dominate in a parallel universe void of Tiger Woods.
1. Rafael Nadal, Tennis. World's No. 1 player, arguably the best ever on clay.
hat tip: Dallas Observer
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
climbing the hill
Ok so i'm about 1 week from being able to say "i have not had Mountain Dew, Monster, or any junk food in 2 months" and while i should be doing the happy dance, right now i could eat a package of Oreos and wash them down with a 12-pack of Dew. But...no. gotta stay strong. So last week i started a "diet" put together by my buddy Scott who is our medic here. I've been following his advice and we've been hitting the gym in the mornings together. I'm eating basically meat and a salad for lunch/dinner, an omlette and hash browns for breakfast, and i'm replacing one or two of these meals with a protein drink, sometimes a drink one instead of breakfast, etc.... you get the picture. at the gym i'm keeping it simple but painful. I do cardio for an hour to an hour and a half. Lemme tell you something. 90 minutes on an elliptical machine and your calf muscles are JELLO after. Scott asked how much i weighed. i told him that when i did my physical back in DC to come over here in october, i weighed in at (i can't believe i'm putting this in print) 280.
i won't lie, that gave me a kick in the ass for motivation when i found that out. There's a big difference between knowing you're a fatass and knowing JUST HOW MUCH of a fatass you are. putting a number on it was a face full of cold water.
so anyways Scott said "i promise you man, you stuck with this and in 3 or 4 months you'll be down to 210 or 220." It's been easily 6 years since i weighed that close to 200. I couldn't even imagine it now. It's like when i look at old pics of me right out of high school when i looked like i weighed a buck and a quarter. i just can't FATHOM being in the shape i was in. you know what, there's only one way to find this out right? stay the course.
my motivation in all this remains misty. even to me. do i want to be healthy? do i want to look better? do i want to feel better?
- the health factor. i'd put it at about 5%. honestly i just don't care. my health has never been something i've ever concerned myself about. you can tell me i should till you pass out. i won't. i've already said i don't plan to live to be old.
- looks. i'd rate this around 35%. i have never considered myself an attractive person. so it's not like if i pull this off i'm going to bullshit myself into thinking i'm going to be a lady-killer. even at my physical peak i still thought of myself as woman-repellent. the only reason i've had girlfriends is because, well, i'm sure they had their reasons. the only reason i've gotten laid as many damn times as i have is because i don't have high standards and i'm a total whore. so looks have never been a weapon i thought i could stock in my arsenal when hunting females. the only weapons i think i have that are effective is a sense of humor and a back massage that never fails to please the ladies.
- feeling better. i'd dial this one in at 40%. i'd kinda like being able to climb a couple flights of stairs and not get winded. feeling myself jiggle is getting old. seeing X anywhere on my clothing tab is getting old. i mean i knew when i started wrecking my body that sooner or later i would decide to care again.
- just seeing if i can do it. this is 10%. i love a good challenge.
- remaining 10% motivation. it's a secret.
i won't lie, that gave me a kick in the ass for motivation when i found that out. There's a big difference between knowing you're a fatass and knowing JUST HOW MUCH of a fatass you are. putting a number on it was a face full of cold water.
so anyways Scott said "i promise you man, you stuck with this and in 3 or 4 months you'll be down to 210 or 220." It's been easily 6 years since i weighed that close to 200. I couldn't even imagine it now. It's like when i look at old pics of me right out of high school when i looked like i weighed a buck and a quarter. i just can't FATHOM being in the shape i was in. you know what, there's only one way to find this out right? stay the course.
my motivation in all this remains misty. even to me. do i want to be healthy? do i want to look better? do i want to feel better?
- the health factor. i'd put it at about 5%. honestly i just don't care. my health has never been something i've ever concerned myself about. you can tell me i should till you pass out. i won't. i've already said i don't plan to live to be old.
- looks. i'd rate this around 35%. i have never considered myself an attractive person. so it's not like if i pull this off i'm going to bullshit myself into thinking i'm going to be a lady-killer. even at my physical peak i still thought of myself as woman-repellent. the only reason i've had girlfriends is because, well, i'm sure they had their reasons. the only reason i've gotten laid as many damn times as i have is because i don't have high standards and i'm a total whore. so looks have never been a weapon i thought i could stock in my arsenal when hunting females. the only weapons i think i have that are effective is a sense of humor and a back massage that never fails to please the ladies.
- feeling better. i'd dial this one in at 40%. i'd kinda like being able to climb a couple flights of stairs and not get winded. feeling myself jiggle is getting old. seeing X anywhere on my clothing tab is getting old. i mean i knew when i started wrecking my body that sooner or later i would decide to care again.
- just seeing if i can do it. this is 10%. i love a good challenge.
- remaining 10% motivation. it's a secret.
BCS over
i'd just like to point out that WVU is finishing the year inside the top 25.
#23 to be exact.
now a couple notes from the game last night (early this morning for me)
- up yours AFN. big time up yours. i swear to god it was like 10 shitty AFN commercials for every 2 plays of football. what jackass was running the commercials? we even MISSED PLAYS IN THE GAME because they were running commercials. someone needs to have their ass paddled till they cry over this.
- i wish i had gotten on sportsbook.com and bet a couple thousand bucks on whatever the over/under number was on UNDER. i'd be a rich fucking guy right now. tied at 7 at halftime? are you kidding me?
#23 to be exact.
now a couple notes from the game last night (early this morning for me)
- up yours AFN. big time up yours. i swear to god it was like 10 shitty AFN commercials for every 2 plays of football. what jackass was running the commercials? we even MISSED PLAYS IN THE GAME because they were running commercials. someone needs to have their ass paddled till they cry over this.
- i wish i had gotten on sportsbook.com and bet a couple thousand bucks on whatever the over/under number was on UNDER. i'd be a rich fucking guy right now. tied at 7 at halftime? are you kidding me?
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Look back
You think in 2020 or so we'll be watching a movie with a scene about an Iraq War Vet that is this powerful?
more explain please
Thank you to the anonymous comment from that previous post. This was too good not to post a link.
Quick explanation of Star Wars
good stuff.
Quick explanation of Star Wars
good stuff.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Superbad
The movie Superbad.... sucked. it was (if you'll pardon the pun) super bad. i watched this movie only because my buddy here highly recommended it. "you'll love it man it's great!!!" well that's the last movie recommendation i take from him. you know what watching this movie was like?
(i'm about to make a very dirty explicit comparison so sensitive readers just stop now)
watching this movie was like having terrible sex with a chick who talked a big game. i mean, here you are hearing how great it is. you are assured the experience will be one to remember. you WILL enjoy yourself. oh boy oh boy....i'm going to like this!!! i'm going to cum in her so fucking hard her nose will run! only to walk away asking yourself "why the fuck did i just go thru with that!?!?" for the most part i can walk away from almost any movie saying i was entertained. i keep my expectations low and as a result i'm almost always a happy movie going person. i don't set the bar high. it's kinda like sex, even if i don't have the time of my life i'm just happy to be there and be entertained. only, when i see movies like this, i tell myself i should have just stayed home and slept with myself, because it certainly would have been better.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with people who let themselves get pushed around.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with a character that treats his friends like shit and even when he gets called out on it, they make up and everything is cool. who's fucking idea of friendship is THAT???
Seth Rogen is over hyped. WAY over hyped. the guy isn't that funny. he has his moments, but all in all, he just isn't that funny. not enough to where i have to see him in every frakking comedy that comes out.
there, i'm done venting.
time to wash my eyeballs and go to bed.
(i'm about to make a very dirty explicit comparison so sensitive readers just stop now)
watching this movie was like having terrible sex with a chick who talked a big game. i mean, here you are hearing how great it is. you are assured the experience will be one to remember. you WILL enjoy yourself. oh boy oh boy....i'm going to like this!!! i'm going to cum in her so fucking hard her nose will run! only to walk away asking yourself "why the fuck did i just go thru with that!?!?" for the most part i can walk away from almost any movie saying i was entertained. i keep my expectations low and as a result i'm almost always a happy movie going person. i don't set the bar high. it's kinda like sex, even if i don't have the time of my life i'm just happy to be there and be entertained. only, when i see movies like this, i tell myself i should have just stayed home and slept with myself, because it certainly would have been better.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with people who let themselves get pushed around.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with a character that treats his friends like shit and even when he gets called out on it, they make up and everything is cool. who's fucking idea of friendship is THAT???
Seth Rogen is over hyped. WAY over hyped. the guy isn't that funny. he has his moments, but all in all, he just isn't that funny. not enough to where i have to see him in every frakking comedy that comes out.
there, i'm done venting.
time to wash my eyeballs and go to bed.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Feelin fine
I have, in the words of the immortal Emmeril, kicked it up a notch. (BAM) I have started going to the gym. I'm not exactly drinking 2 raw eggs and punching meat for an hour, i'm taking it slow. Some nice cardio for now. No throwing up yet. I'm sure once i start on the weights i'll be here crying about not being able to move. not only will i be getting fit i'll be fit chicks too. all the time i've spent in gyms before i met.... well, none. Although Roger and I used to eye-hump the hell out of this one chick who went to Gold's Gym back when we living in Alexandria. Aw yeah.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Super squadrons
A Louisiana-based assault helicopter squadron took their call signs from comic heroes. freakin awesome.
check it out via Times Online.
check it out via Times Online.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
meetings
This story on how Bush and Cheney have been secretly meeting with war vets and families of lost soldiers, reminds me of some of the stories that came out after Dale Earnhardt died. Stories about how he would help people out and made it a point that the media not get involved.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Kitty gone
The kitten on camp died. None of us are vets so we aren't 100% sure. We think it was a combo of her having worms and the freezing cold out. That sucks. I went out to see her the other day and she just walked right up to me and sat down on my boot. I even lifted my foot up and she stayed on there looking up at me meowing.
this stupid world.
this stupid world.
Monday, December 15, 2008
come on people
So now God gets credit for an open sunroof.
this is just retarded. long story short, grandmother gets hit by car while carrying toddler. toddler rolls into open sunroof of car preventing serious harm maybe even death. Sounds like random acts of chance to me. not these people.
The driver of the car, Reece Barcenes, said the only reason the sunroof was open was that the sun was shining brightly hours earlier.
"I didn't close it for whatever reason," he said. "And I just happened to have it opened. Everybody here tells me it was an act of God that I had it open. Had it been not been open or a hard top, God knows what would have happened to that baby."
are you kidding me? an act of God? it's called a coincidence you morons.
let's take this further. for the sake of argument, let's assume it was an act of God. if it was.... i'm not impressed. you mean to tell me that when God decided to roll the dice and slap a few random events together the best he could do was "let's have the grandmother get hit, lose the kid, but the kid goes flying into an open sunroof." come on. i'm thinking if God deals in these kind of "acts" he could have done something like having the grandmother "somehow" drop her keys or something that delayed her walking into the path of the car. you know, something a little less shitty happening to a poor old grandmother and a toddler.
i swear the things people will believe never cease to amaze me.
this is just retarded. long story short, grandmother gets hit by car while carrying toddler. toddler rolls into open sunroof of car preventing serious harm maybe even death. Sounds like random acts of chance to me. not these people.
The driver of the car, Reece Barcenes, said the only reason the sunroof was open was that the sun was shining brightly hours earlier.
"I didn't close it for whatever reason," he said. "And I just happened to have it opened. Everybody here tells me it was an act of God that I had it open. Had it been not been open or a hard top, God knows what would have happened to that baby."
are you kidding me? an act of God? it's called a coincidence you morons.
let's take this further. for the sake of argument, let's assume it was an act of God. if it was.... i'm not impressed. you mean to tell me that when God decided to roll the dice and slap a few random events together the best he could do was "let's have the grandmother get hit, lose the kid, but the kid goes flying into an open sunroof." come on. i'm thinking if God deals in these kind of "acts" he could have done something like having the grandmother "somehow" drop her keys or something that delayed her walking into the path of the car. you know, something a little less shitty happening to a poor old grandmother and a toddler.
i swear the things people will believe never cease to amaze me.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
shopping
Ok so yesterday i went to this store and in it the guy had some zippo kits. the thing was all he had was zippos that were for Army and Marines. I asked the guy if he had Air Force ones and he said he didn't but to check back tomorrow. Sure enough, i went back tonight and he had this.
guess how much it cost me.....
10 bucks.
i love shopping around here.
guess how much it cost me.....
10 bucks.
i love shopping around here.
Monday, December 08, 2008
airport security
7 dumbest things done by airport security
I laugh at this because there's people out there who actually want to put the same people in charge of the nimrod convention that is airport security in charge of our health. that's right. we get free government health care, these are the EXACT same kind of people who are going to be deciding if you live or die.
I laugh at this because there's people out there who actually want to put the same people in charge of the nimrod convention that is airport security in charge of our health. that's right. we get free government health care, these are the EXACT same kind of people who are going to be deciding if you live or die.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
a sit down
I've been here a week now and i haven't blogged about my situation. sorry. ok so let me take a few and talk about things here.
- living situation. i'm back in a tent again. i have to chuckle at that. i mean, i did a year back in Afghanistan in a tent so i'm laughing partly at the idea of me looking around and going "something about this seems familiar....". the other reason i chuckle is that i guess i expected better. i shouldn't have. so it's my own fault for raising my expectations but still i thought to myself that in the 4 or 5 years we've been here the infrastructure would be a bit better. meh. whatever. i've lived in worse.
- work. I feel much more like a real IT tech. Running cables, installing printers (and getting really pissed the hell off at HP right now), crimping Cat 5 cables.... it makes me feel useful. Honestly, it's a feeling i rarely feel when it comes to work. most of the jobs i've ever had i never felt useful. i just felt like another cog in the machine or i felt like i was just treading water. i like seeing results when i work on something. i never really cared for jobs where it was a nonstop barrage of calls with one jerk after another on the other end.
- war zone. i don't really "feel" like i'm in a war zone. maybe i just haven't had anything happen that snaps me into that. maybe i never will. who knows. all i know is that the danger, while i'm fully aware of the presence, doesn't keep me up at night. it's more like camping in a bad neighborhood. hell i think i feel safer here than i did living in the apartment in Maryland. I mean, 3 white guys (ok, 2 white guys and a hispanic guy who looks and sounds white) and 3 white girls living in an apartment complex where everyone else is black... you do the math. i'm aware of where i am at all times. i hear helicopters circling at all hours, i see cars driving around with flashing lights, i see lots of people carrying guns. i can see craters and demolished buildings everyone. don't mistake my lack of concern for apathy. like i've told my dad and roger, it's probably a product of growing up in the military. that and the fact i'm little crazy.
- people. i've meet quite a few interesting people and heard all sorts of interesting stories. like this one story... some dude who was getting ready to leave, he sold or gave away everything he could and whatever he couldn't sell or give, he burned it. all of it. he left the country with the clothes on his back and a laptop. upon his return home..... his wife made him strip out of those clothes in the garage and walk straight into the shower while she tossed the clothes. holy shit, talk about sticking to principle. there's plenty of other stories. All the locals i've met are friendly people. A lot of this is bringing me back to living in Turkey. the culture and attitudes i see are similar. i see a lot of good people here who deserve a chance at a better life without a small group of fanatical cockbites ruining it for them. i think we're going in the right direction with them and i hope the sacrifices everyone here has made will be rewarded. i'm allowing myself a rare moment of optimism in this, because as much i love being right, i don't want to be right if i think bad things are going to happen here. not after all that's happened.
- health. still tired of peeing 100 times a day, but i'm still drinking water, gatorade, and OJ. still haven't eaten any junk food. i even turned down some xmas cookies from roger. i just have to do the cold turkey thing. i know me. if i get the occasional taste i'm going to end up saying "fuck it" and go back to Dew, Monster, and junk. i will go back to that soon, but for now i think i need to try and undo at least some of the damage i did to myself in the past 6 years.
- misc thoughts. when they put speedbumps down here, they don't screw around. you drive over these things any faster than 5MPH or so and you're going to see your axle left behind. I've seen some damn fine looking women here. between some of the chicks i've seen here and the ones i saw during my trip to Detroit and California i'm really starting to dig Persian women.
and finally, a picture of a kitten we have living in our compound. we think her litter and mom got picked up and she got left alone. poor thing.
- living situation. i'm back in a tent again. i have to chuckle at that. i mean, i did a year back in Afghanistan in a tent so i'm laughing partly at the idea of me looking around and going "something about this seems familiar....". the other reason i chuckle is that i guess i expected better. i shouldn't have. so it's my own fault for raising my expectations but still i thought to myself that in the 4 or 5 years we've been here the infrastructure would be a bit better. meh. whatever. i've lived in worse.
- work. I feel much more like a real IT tech. Running cables, installing printers (and getting really pissed the hell off at HP right now), crimping Cat 5 cables.... it makes me feel useful. Honestly, it's a feeling i rarely feel when it comes to work. most of the jobs i've ever had i never felt useful. i just felt like another cog in the machine or i felt like i was just treading water. i like seeing results when i work on something. i never really cared for jobs where it was a nonstop barrage of calls with one jerk after another on the other end.
- war zone. i don't really "feel" like i'm in a war zone. maybe i just haven't had anything happen that snaps me into that. maybe i never will. who knows. all i know is that the danger, while i'm fully aware of the presence, doesn't keep me up at night. it's more like camping in a bad neighborhood. hell i think i feel safer here than i did living in the apartment in Maryland. I mean, 3 white guys (ok, 2 white guys and a hispanic guy who looks and sounds white) and 3 white girls living in an apartment complex where everyone else is black... you do the math. i'm aware of where i am at all times. i hear helicopters circling at all hours, i see cars driving around with flashing lights, i see lots of people carrying guns. i can see craters and demolished buildings everyone. don't mistake my lack of concern for apathy. like i've told my dad and roger, it's probably a product of growing up in the military. that and the fact i'm little crazy.
- people. i've meet quite a few interesting people and heard all sorts of interesting stories. like this one story... some dude who was getting ready to leave, he sold or gave away everything he could and whatever he couldn't sell or give, he burned it. all of it. he left the country with the clothes on his back and a laptop. upon his return home..... his wife made him strip out of those clothes in the garage and walk straight into the shower while she tossed the clothes. holy shit, talk about sticking to principle. there's plenty of other stories. All the locals i've met are friendly people. A lot of this is bringing me back to living in Turkey. the culture and attitudes i see are similar. i see a lot of good people here who deserve a chance at a better life without a small group of fanatical cockbites ruining it for them. i think we're going in the right direction with them and i hope the sacrifices everyone here has made will be rewarded. i'm allowing myself a rare moment of optimism in this, because as much i love being right, i don't want to be right if i think bad things are going to happen here. not after all that's happened.
- health. still tired of peeing 100 times a day, but i'm still drinking water, gatorade, and OJ. still haven't eaten any junk food. i even turned down some xmas cookies from roger. i just have to do the cold turkey thing. i know me. if i get the occasional taste i'm going to end up saying "fuck it" and go back to Dew, Monster, and junk. i will go back to that soon, but for now i think i need to try and undo at least some of the damage i did to myself in the past 6 years.
- misc thoughts. when they put speedbumps down here, they don't screw around. you drive over these things any faster than 5MPH or so and you're going to see your axle left behind. I've seen some damn fine looking women here. between some of the chicks i've seen here and the ones i saw during my trip to Detroit and California i'm really starting to dig Persian women.
and finally, a picture of a kitten we have living in our compound. we think her litter and mom got picked up and she got left alone. poor thing.
Friday, December 05, 2008
well?
Gulf Oil CEO says gas could hit $1 next year
So now that gas prices are dropping everywhere, where is Bush's thanks? I seem to recall he got all of the BLAME when prices went UP so where's the THANKS for them going DOWN? I mean, it seems pretty logical to me that if you're going to perform one action for one event, the opposite event should produce the opposite action right?
wait a sec.... this whole arrangement sounds vaguely familiar. i know, this is the exact sort of credit/blame deal people have with God. only opposite.
see, when times are good and good things happen like people win championships, have food on the table, are getting well at a hospital, or when a really hot chick takes her clothes off, God's getting thanks and praise left and right. However, when times aren't going to plan like when you lose the Championship, someone dies, you lose your job, or 3 months of trying end in "i just want to be friends", well then nobody really seems to blame God for it. Usually Satan gets that honor.
So when you think about it, maybe Bush really is Satan. George W. Bush, all the blame, none of the thanks. Sounds like a good marketing slogan. Or maybe all these jerkoffs who like to blame him for everything bad that happens are a bunch of morons.
So now that gas prices are dropping everywhere, where is Bush's thanks? I seem to recall he got all of the BLAME when prices went UP so where's the THANKS for them going DOWN? I mean, it seems pretty logical to me that if you're going to perform one action for one event, the opposite event should produce the opposite action right?
wait a sec.... this whole arrangement sounds vaguely familiar. i know, this is the exact sort of credit/blame deal people have with God. only opposite.
see, when times are good and good things happen like people win championships, have food on the table, are getting well at a hospital, or when a really hot chick takes her clothes off, God's getting thanks and praise left and right. However, when times aren't going to plan like when you lose the Championship, someone dies, you lose your job, or 3 months of trying end in "i just want to be friends", well then nobody really seems to blame God for it. Usually Satan gets that honor.
So when you think about it, maybe Bush really is Satan. George W. Bush, all the blame, none of the thanks. Sounds like a good marketing slogan. Or maybe all these jerkoffs who like to blame him for everything bad that happens are a bunch of morons.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
almost live
Ah the good old days. I remember watching this show when i was in high school living with my friend Chris. This was a sketch show that was gone way before its time.
Quick
Well that didn't take long.
family of man trampled to death in Walmart, sues Walmart.
their argument? Walmart's low low prices made people crazy. no seriously. that's the argument.
whatever pity i might have felt for them.... gone. screw these people.
family of man trampled to death in Walmart, sues Walmart.
their argument? Walmart's low low prices made people crazy. no seriously. that's the argument.
whatever pity i might have felt for them.... gone. screw these people.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
worthy news
My company sends out news emails and this article was mentioned in it. I thought it was worth posting, not just because it's a good story but because i think someone needs to spread some news about good things that non-military people do here. Sure as hell can't count on the media to spread news on contractors except for when we fuck up or how greedy we are.
Dyncorp contractor saves Marines caught in firefight
Dyncorp contractor saves Marines caught in firefight
Monday, December 01, 2008
here i am
Well, i'm finally at the IZ and my new home. let's examine the what, where, when, and how of this shall we?
- journey start date: 15 September
- journey completion: 1 December
- distance traveled.... a lot. breaking it down further.....
- plane rides: plane from san antonio to DC / DC to Detroit / Detroit to San Diego / San Diego to DC / DC to Dallas / Dallas to DC / DC to Atlanta / Ft Benning to Kuwait / Kuwait to Baghdad
- living conditions: hotels, brother's couch, airplane seat, bunk bed in a open bay with about 10 other bunk beds
what side adventures did Jimmy have?
- Redskins game
- Cowboys game
- crappy strip club in Maryland
- greatest strip club ever in Detroit with the greatest ass i've ever seen on a girl
- 3 different casinos
- tailgating at UNT game without actually attending the game
- hauling heavy luggage all over the damn place
and begins another chapter in the life of Jimmy. let's see just what happens shall we?
- journey start date: 15 September
- journey completion: 1 December
- distance traveled.... a lot. breaking it down further.....
- plane rides: plane from san antonio to DC / DC to Detroit / Detroit to San Diego / San Diego to DC / DC to Dallas / Dallas to DC / DC to Atlanta / Ft Benning to Kuwait / Kuwait to Baghdad
- living conditions: hotels, brother's couch, airplane seat, bunk bed in a open bay with about 10 other bunk beds
what side adventures did Jimmy have?
- Redskins game
- Cowboys game
- crappy strip club in Maryland
- greatest strip club ever in Detroit with the greatest ass i've ever seen on a girl
- 3 different casinos
- tailgating at UNT game without actually attending the game
- hauling heavy luggage all over the damn place
and begins another chapter in the life of Jimmy. let's see just what happens shall we?
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Cyber attacks
News on cyber attacks and the growing concern by the military.
personally, i have no sympathy for the military. they're getting what they deserve by putting assholes in charge.
you want REAL security? REAL productivity? REAL advancement? then put someone in charge who knows computers. don't put some assclown O-6 who's more concerned about his little empire and kissing ass in charge. the fucksticks you got running shit right now don't know their asses from a hole in the ground when it comes to computers. you need to put someone in charge who doesn't care about stupid shit like meetings about meetings, dress codes, and office bullshit. You think China gives a rat's ass about sexual harassment training?
until you start taking this seriously DoD, you're screwed.
personally, i have no sympathy for the military. they're getting what they deserve by putting assholes in charge.
you want REAL security? REAL productivity? REAL advancement? then put someone in charge who knows computers. don't put some assclown O-6 who's more concerned about his little empire and kissing ass in charge. the fucksticks you got running shit right now don't know their asses from a hole in the ground when it comes to computers. you need to put someone in charge who doesn't care about stupid shit like meetings about meetings, dress codes, and office bullshit. You think China gives a rat's ass about sexual harassment training?
until you start taking this seriously DoD, you're screwed.
he shoots he scores
If they were going to go to all the trouble of having 2 cameramen the LEAST they could have done was videotape the brainstorming session in which they composed this masterpiece, this SYMPHONY of such a brilliant idea. I wanna know if the thought "could this go bad somehow?" ever so much as peaked its head in the door of the discussion. I think that's where home videos must head to next. We need more. we demand behind the scenes.
He Shoots He Almost Scores - Watch more free videos
hat tip for vid: Robbie
He Shoots He Almost Scores - Watch more free videos
hat tip for vid: Robbie
Friday, November 28, 2008
stampede
yet more proof that New York is full of jerkoffs who don't give a crap about anyone but themselves.
especially when it comes to shopping
especially when it comes to shopping
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
yes father
When i was getting ready to go to CRC in Fort Benning, my dad asked around to find some info on it for me. He got some info and it was pretty dead on. His basic advice, "keep your sense of humor".
well dad, never let it be said i didn't heed your advice.
well dad, never let it be said i didn't heed your advice.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Toot toot
I don't often like tooting my own horn. Sure i like joking around in my usual "i am the greatest mo-fo on the planet" but I generally don't like speaking of myself as if i were seriously a great person, because i'm not. i'm far far from it. I once had someone tell me that they thought i acted very aloof like i thought i was better than anyone around me and it really got to me. When i look back i can see just why that person got the impression. so now i try to keep from pretending i'm better than everyone. i probably do a shitty job most times and maybe i'm just wired that way.
anyways, i thought i'd toot my horn over something simple yet hard for me. prior to landing here in Iraq, my dietary habits were sad. pitiful even. i pretty much drank literally nothing but Monster and Mountain Dew. I ate fast food all the time. it kicked the shit out of body. when i got the job offer to come out here i made myself a promise. i told myself i would use this chance to change all that and do right by my body. hell, with the threat of mortar attacks and other explosions and stuff it would be pretty god-damn retarded if i died of a fucking heart attack wouldn't it. so yeah i made some changes. i stopped drinking the soda and Monster. it wasn't as easy as i thought it would be. i thought it would be easy since it would be less accessible here. nope. walk right into the PX and there's literally pallets of Monster and Dew sitting there. plenty of dew in the chow halls. ok well fine, at least eating healthy will be a snap right? nah. they got Subway and Burger King here. coworkers with lots of candy and sweets from care packages. chow halls with desert bars. DAMMIT. you just ain't making this easy are you? and yet, i prevailed thus far. not without some displeasure. drinking lots of water and gatorade sucks. it sucks cuz i'm tired of having to take a damn piss every other hour. *sigh* the struggle continues. well, maybe once i get used to it i won't feel like this.
so anyway, there's my little tooting.
anyways, i thought i'd toot my horn over something simple yet hard for me. prior to landing here in Iraq, my dietary habits were sad. pitiful even. i pretty much drank literally nothing but Monster and Mountain Dew. I ate fast food all the time. it kicked the shit out of body. when i got the job offer to come out here i made myself a promise. i told myself i would use this chance to change all that and do right by my body. hell, with the threat of mortar attacks and other explosions and stuff it would be pretty god-damn retarded if i died of a fucking heart attack wouldn't it. so yeah i made some changes. i stopped drinking the soda and Monster. it wasn't as easy as i thought it would be. i thought it would be easy since it would be less accessible here. nope. walk right into the PX and there's literally pallets of Monster and Dew sitting there. plenty of dew in the chow halls. ok well fine, at least eating healthy will be a snap right? nah. they got Subway and Burger King here. coworkers with lots of candy and sweets from care packages. chow halls with desert bars. DAMMIT. you just ain't making this easy are you? and yet, i prevailed thus far. not without some displeasure. drinking lots of water and gatorade sucks. it sucks cuz i'm tired of having to take a damn piss every other hour. *sigh* the struggle continues. well, maybe once i get used to it i won't feel like this.
so anyway, there's my little tooting.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Brilliant
So rather than acknowledge that one of the big contributing factors to the American Auto Industry collapse is the UAW (United Auto Workers) and work to get them under control..... nope congress has a better plan.
Let's make it so the competition who isn't going bankrupt, doesn't need a bailout, and is operating in a profitable manner.... GETS UNION!!!! totally awesome.
So basically, if you're losing a race, the solution is to tie a ball and chain to the competitors. This is about the stupidest idea ever. It's going to get passed to since Unions pretty much have the Democrats in their pocket.
Goodbye cheap cars for ANYONE.
Let's make it so the competition who isn't going bankrupt, doesn't need a bailout, and is operating in a profitable manner.... GETS UNION!!!! totally awesome.
So basically, if you're losing a race, the solution is to tie a ball and chain to the competitors. This is about the stupidest idea ever. It's going to get passed to since Unions pretty much have the Democrats in their pocket.
Goodbye cheap cars for ANYONE.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Happy birthday
I'd like to announce a birth in the family. My cousin Mike and his lovely wife Susan have their first child. Israel Mariano Chavez. Born yesterday 20 November 2008.
Little backstory. Mike is part of the cousin "generation" that came around from my mom's side of the family. It consists of Mike son of my aunt Pat, Myself, Jackie my sister, Josh my brother, and Adrian and Nicholas sons of my uncle Abie. The 6 of us all pretty much grew up together. We are all pretty close as cousins go. There's a second generation of cousins from my mom's other brothers and sister. But they're all at least 10 years or so behind my generation.
Anyway, here's a pic of me and my siblings at Mike and Susan's wedding a few months ago up in Austin.
Little backstory. Mike is part of the cousin "generation" that came around from my mom's side of the family. It consists of Mike son of my aunt Pat, Myself, Jackie my sister, Josh my brother, and Adrian and Nicholas sons of my uncle Abie. The 6 of us all pretty much grew up together. We are all pretty close as cousins go. There's a second generation of cousins from my mom's other brothers and sister. But they're all at least 10 years or so behind my generation.
Anyway, here's a pic of me and my siblings at Mike and Susan's wedding a few months ago up in Austin.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
ready
Hey everyone in California who voted for Prop 8.... get ready to see just how useless your votes are.
Court to hear arguments against the ban on same sex marriage
the money quote from the article was this.
All three cases claim the ban abridges the civil rights of a vulnerable minority group. They argue that voters alone did not have the authority to enact such a significant constitutional change.
the people don't have the authority. i'm no poli sci major and i don't have a law degree... but i seem to remember something about the power to make and enforce ANY law comes from the people. Lawmakers have power only because WE THE PEOPLE (i've seen those 3 words written on some important document i could've sworn) grant power to individuals who are there to enforce the will of the people. I guess i'm just talking out my ass.
Court to hear arguments against the ban on same sex marriage
the money quote from the article was this.
All three cases claim the ban abridges the civil rights of a vulnerable minority group. They argue that voters alone did not have the authority to enact such a significant constitutional change.
the people don't have the authority. i'm no poli sci major and i don't have a law degree... but i seem to remember something about the power to make and enforce ANY law comes from the people. Lawmakers have power only because WE THE PEOPLE (i've seen those 3 words written on some important document i could've sworn) grant power to individuals who are there to enforce the will of the people. I guess i'm just talking out my ass.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sad
This is why voting should not be an automatic right. You should have to pass some kind of test.
I think we're going to get EXACTLY what we voted for.
I think we're going to get EXACTLY what we voted for.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Live in Iraq
Ok so i'm finally in Iraq. So far it's about what i expected. Some items of note.
- I spent a week at Fort Benning, Georgia getting processed to come here. It's run by the Army and lemme tell you the place needs to be renamed to "Camp SNAFU" with the motto, "if there's a stupider way to do it, we'll find it". I was ensnared by so much stupid i thought my head would explode. Go right to hell Fort Benning CRC.
- The flight here wasn't much better. Long story short... it was a 40 hour journey that started with my getting up at 5 in the morning to drag 2 huge damn bags around in pouring rain.
- This place is quite interesting. I had breakfast this morning in a palace. literally. the chow hall was an old palace with marble all over and fancy carvings and everything. I think that's pretty damn cool.
- Good ole AFN and the commercials. I couldn't help but notice there's been some changes to the commercials since way back when i watched AFN when my dad was stationed in Turkey and Spain. They still have the ones about Code of Conduct and Military history and such, but i don't remember commercials about suicide prevention, sexual assault, or about not taking advantage of drunk chicks.
- I haven't even been to the "best" ones but the chow halls and different PXs i've been to are ones i'd have killed for in Afghanistan.
- I'm very upbeat about work. I'm going to get to do actual networking work. I got to crimp a CAT-5 cable... something i hadn't done since i was in school at ITT Tech.
- I spent a week at Fort Benning, Georgia getting processed to come here. It's run by the Army and lemme tell you the place needs to be renamed to "Camp SNAFU" with the motto, "if there's a stupider way to do it, we'll find it". I was ensnared by so much stupid i thought my head would explode. Go right to hell Fort Benning CRC.
- The flight here wasn't much better. Long story short... it was a 40 hour journey that started with my getting up at 5 in the morning to drag 2 huge damn bags around in pouring rain.
- This place is quite interesting. I had breakfast this morning in a palace. literally. the chow hall was an old palace with marble all over and fancy carvings and everything. I think that's pretty damn cool.
- Good ole AFN and the commercials. I couldn't help but notice there's been some changes to the commercials since way back when i watched AFN when my dad was stationed in Turkey and Spain. They still have the ones about Code of Conduct and Military history and such, but i don't remember commercials about suicide prevention, sexual assault, or about not taking advantage of drunk chicks.
- I haven't even been to the "best" ones but the chow halls and different PXs i've been to are ones i'd have killed for in Afghanistan.
- I'm very upbeat about work. I'm going to get to do actual networking work. I got to crimp a CAT-5 cable... something i hadn't done since i was in school at ITT Tech.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
20 places
The 20 worst places to wake up.
* Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.
* The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.
* Spooning some random dude.
* In a bath tub covered in blood.
* The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.
* The back seat of a stranger’s car.
* In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.
* On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.
* Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.
* Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.
* The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.
* Your parents’ kitchen floor.
* Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.
* The front lawn of the local synagogue.
* Cleveland.
* Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.
* The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.
* The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.
* The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.
* On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.
* Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.
* The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.
* Spooning some random dude.
* In a bath tub covered in blood.
* The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.
* The back seat of a stranger’s car.
* In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.
* On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.
* Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.
* Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.
* The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.
* Your parents’ kitchen floor.
* Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.
* The front lawn of the local synagogue.
* Cleveland.
* Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.
* The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.
* The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.
* The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.
* On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Camp bored
Apologies to a lack of activity recently. Here's the latest from your mayor.
- i'm at Fort Benning in lovely Georgia (this base is damn big) at CRC which stands for CONUS Replacement Center. I'm doing a bunch of processing so the military will let me go to Iraq and then Friday i leave for Iraq.
- this shit is boring as hell. there's also a ton of BS and most of time it really seems like a gi-normus SNAFU. If they engaged the common-sense engine for just a day this place could be running so much faster. but, it's the military running the show so fat chance of that.
- today i cleared medical which consisted of me getting 5 damn shots. Smallpox, Anthrax, Typhoid, Tetanus, and Flu. I feel like ass.
- Getting some body armor tomorrow. Yay. i do NOT look forward to putting that one. Hopefully i won't have to. Since I'm due to be working in the green zone i should be good from wearing that. Maybe it will play out like the chem-gear i got issued when i went to Afghanistan, it will just sit in a bag under my bed the whole time i'm there.
- I kinda feel like i'm back in tech school. something about this place and the environment. just the "feel" of it i guess. only this time i don't have a car.
- i will try and post more and i'll certainly try and keep up more once i get to Iraq.
- i'm at Fort Benning in lovely Georgia (this base is damn big) at CRC which stands for CONUS Replacement Center. I'm doing a bunch of processing so the military will let me go to Iraq and then Friday i leave for Iraq.
- this shit is boring as hell. there's also a ton of BS and most of time it really seems like a gi-normus SNAFU. If they engaged the common-sense engine for just a day this place could be running so much faster. but, it's the military running the show so fat chance of that.
- today i cleared medical which consisted of me getting 5 damn shots. Smallpox, Anthrax, Typhoid, Tetanus, and Flu. I feel like ass.
- Getting some body armor tomorrow. Yay. i do NOT look forward to putting that one. Hopefully i won't have to. Since I'm due to be working in the green zone i should be good from wearing that. Maybe it will play out like the chem-gear i got issued when i went to Afghanistan, it will just sit in a bag under my bed the whole time i'm there.
- I kinda feel like i'm back in tech school. something about this place and the environment. just the "feel" of it i guess. only this time i don't have a car.
- i will try and post more and i'll certainly try and keep up more once i get to Iraq.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Simpsons did it
Is it just me or did Obama's campaign play out like the race for sanitation commissioner on the Simpsons episode?
You got one guy who's the experienced person and the other guy who comes in not really presenting any plans just promising "can't someone else do it?" and in the end the people elected the guy making wild promises of the government coming in and doing everything for them.
I just hope Obama gets the money to pay for everyone's gas and mortgage by selling drugs instead of letting other countries dump their garbage on our property.
You got one guy who's the experienced person and the other guy who comes in not really presenting any plans just promising "can't someone else do it?" and in the end the people elected the guy making wild promises of the government coming in and doing everything for them.
I just hope Obama gets the money to pay for everyone's gas and mortgage by selling drugs instead of letting other countries dump their garbage on our property.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
finally
Finally the 2 year nightmare is over. Obama wins.
CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY TV BACK NOW!?!?!?!?
i want to go back to watching ANYTHING that doesn't have politics in it. I want normal commercials back. I want to watch someone selling me something other than BULLSHIT.
as a side note, i feel really bad for the left. what the hell are you guys going to do now? you're actually going to have go out find NEW stuff to bitch about. without Bush in office where are you going to focus all your crazy? and yes, i do mean crazy. TV was sweeping the crowd at one of the rallies and somebody actually had a sign that said "Bush you're fired". (i hope i don't have to explain just why that statement is either insanely crazy or monumentally stupid) This is how fixated these people are on hating Bush. This is the level of insane that they have gone to. They're bullshitting themselves into actually believing that Obama ran against Bush. THAT is how badly they needed an excuse to pour more gas on the hate-Bush fires. You can't tell me that these people are just going to stop hating. It ain't going to happen. trust me i'm an expert on rage and hate. that kind of emotion doesn't just go away. you either have to refocus it or just internalizes.
oh well. life goes on. i don't care either way. i'm out of the country in about 2 weeks anyways so it's your problem now not mine.
CAN I PLEASE HAVE MY TV BACK NOW!?!?!?!?
i want to go back to watching ANYTHING that doesn't have politics in it. I want normal commercials back. I want to watch someone selling me something other than BULLSHIT.
as a side note, i feel really bad for the left. what the hell are you guys going to do now? you're actually going to have go out find NEW stuff to bitch about. without Bush in office where are you going to focus all your crazy? and yes, i do mean crazy. TV was sweeping the crowd at one of the rallies and somebody actually had a sign that said "Bush you're fired". (i hope i don't have to explain just why that statement is either insanely crazy or monumentally stupid) This is how fixated these people are on hating Bush. This is the level of insane that they have gone to. They're bullshitting themselves into actually believing that Obama ran against Bush. THAT is how badly they needed an excuse to pour more gas on the hate-Bush fires. You can't tell me that these people are just going to stop hating. It ain't going to happen. trust me i'm an expert on rage and hate. that kind of emotion doesn't just go away. you either have to refocus it or just internalizes.
oh well. life goes on. i don't care either way. i'm out of the country in about 2 weeks anyways so it's your problem now not mine.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Weekend
Flew out to Dallas friday morning. Josh got some tickets to the Cowboys game. Also my dad was in country for a conference down in San Antonio so he and Jackie drove up for the game as well. Plus Robbie and his dad were there so that was cool. Anyways, here's the seats we had for the game.
Good seats. Except for a couple things. The Cowboys fans. With the exception of my mom i can pretty much issue the blanket statement from attending that game that the Cowboys have serious overcrowding issues in the stands. There seems to be an overabundance of DOUCHEBAGS in Texas Stadium on game day. we were surrounded by nothing but fuckheads who were competing for the award of "biggest asshat" that i think they must have announced before we go there or maybe when i went to the can before the game started. I dunno. It was a pretty tight competition. The award for most annoying has to go to the harpy sitting behind us yelling "defeeeeeeeeeence!!!" the whole game. And it wasn't even like she was chanting it, or yelling it when other people were, just whenever the Bucs had the ball she'd start cackling away in a high-pitched tone that made life miserable. Thank goodness the game didn't go to overtime cuz one more quarter of her yelling and she would have been getting a fist right in the baby-maker. It WAS that bad. Ask josh and robbie.
Anyways, it was a good weekend. Jackie, Josh, Dad and I all went to see Saw 5. Probably the worst of the series. BUT...... never-the-less we were obligated to see it. For you see, Jackie Josh and I have managed to all see the entire "Saw" series together in theaters when each one came out. Every one, all 3 of us. A Ballard kids tradition. Frankly, i think it's really cool. I like being able to share certain things with my siblings. I like that we all have JLB for initials. (yes we all have "Lee" for a middle name) I like how we all love to travel and explore the world. I like how they both went thru college (josh is allllmost done) and neither of them came out a couple of Liberal drones like some of their friends or some people i know (not you Sara). Screw all you guys, the Ballard 3 are where it's at.
Aw yeah.
Good seats. Except for a couple things. The Cowboys fans. With the exception of my mom i can pretty much issue the blanket statement from attending that game that the Cowboys have serious overcrowding issues in the stands. There seems to be an overabundance of DOUCHEBAGS in Texas Stadium on game day. we were surrounded by nothing but fuckheads who were competing for the award of "biggest asshat" that i think they must have announced before we go there or maybe when i went to the can before the game started. I dunno. It was a pretty tight competition. The award for most annoying has to go to the harpy sitting behind us yelling "defeeeeeeeeeence!!!" the whole game. And it wasn't even like she was chanting it, or yelling it when other people were, just whenever the Bucs had the ball she'd start cackling away in a high-pitched tone that made life miserable. Thank goodness the game didn't go to overtime cuz one more quarter of her yelling and she would have been getting a fist right in the baby-maker. It WAS that bad. Ask josh and robbie.
Anyways, it was a good weekend. Jackie, Josh, Dad and I all went to see Saw 5. Probably the worst of the series. BUT...... never-the-less we were obligated to see it. For you see, Jackie Josh and I have managed to all see the entire "Saw" series together in theaters when each one came out. Every one, all 3 of us. A Ballard kids tradition. Frankly, i think it's really cool. I like being able to share certain things with my siblings. I like that we all have JLB for initials. (yes we all have "Lee" for a middle name) I like how we all love to travel and explore the world. I like how they both went thru college (josh is allllmost done) and neither of them came out a couple of Liberal drones like some of their friends or some people i know (not you Sara). Screw all you guys, the Ballard 3 are where it's at.
Aw yeah.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
World Series
Does anybody outside Philly and Tampa Bay give a rat's ass about the World Series this year?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Still here
You thought Barry Bonds was going away?
not....so....fast....
So basically Bonds' argument is that he isn't playing baseball anymore not because he's a roid pumping giant head prima donna cockbite, but because MLB is a bunch of conspiring jerks. Any bets that a racism charge gets tossed in for kicks?
Actually, there probably was collusion, and it went something like this:
MLB team owner: Hey how big of a hassle was it really to have Bonds on the team?
: it was a fucking nightmare. thank god he got his record and we can finally be done with him.
MLB team owner: thanks for the heads-up.
not....so....fast....
So basically Bonds' argument is that he isn't playing baseball anymore not because he's a roid pumping giant head prima donna cockbite, but because MLB is a bunch of conspiring jerks. Any bets that a racism charge gets tossed in for kicks?
Actually, there probably was collusion, and it went something like this:
MLB team owner: Hey
MLB team owner: thanks for the heads-up.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Apology
I'd like to offer a sincere and humble apology to a man I consider a brother. Chris, this is for you.
A while back he and i were having an argument (speaking of, if you've never seen Chris and i debate and argue it's quite a sight. Roger used to be witness to it all the time when we were all roommates and he said we needed our own radio show) anyways Chris and i were arguing. Basically at the time i got on my high horse and was bashing religion. I'm not reversing myself on that, i still consider religion a brainwashing waste of time. HOWEVER... he said something to me that at the time i kinda blew off. He told me that anything can be worshiped. any set of beliefs. Patriotism is an example. I never really got it until recently. The more i read and see and hear about people worshiping stuff like Environmentalism, Feminism, Obama, Liberalism, MTV, Vegetarianism, Television, Celebrities.... the more i see Chris was right. Enjoyment of something has gone too far in this country.
This Obama fad is a great example. People are worshiping the man like he's actually DONE something. Check out this link and see video of a bunch of sick fucks parading their children around "in support of Obama" as if the kids actually knew what the fuck was going on. It's scary. All you people calling Bush "Hitler" might wanna check the facts. Bush hasn't gave a rousing speech IN BERLIN to 200,000 rabid cheering Germans... and Bush doesn't have indoctrinated youths marching for him. I'm just saying.....
Environmentalism as a religion? Just read Michael Crichton's take on it. He pretty much spells it out for you. Telling you that you are a "global warming denier" is just the 21st century version telling you that you're an idiot if you think the Earth isn't the center of the universe. Cuz a few centuries ago, the church would have your ass on a silver platter if you dared to tell them otherwise. Nowadays Al Gore will have your ass if you dare think otherwise to him telling you global warming is real.
So anyways, i can see now i was wrong. It isn't just worshiping god that creates the opportunity to turn people a tad fanatical. People can turn into mindless zombies over any ideology. I guess insanity is equal opportunity.
- you can smite heathens in the name of god
- you can blow yourself up in the name of allah
- you can torch SUVs to protect mother earth and score with that hot chick you met on the campus quad
- you can bitch and complain and withhold sex for women rights
- you can get naked and throw fake blood on coats to protect animals who don't really give a shit either way
- you can toss on a white hood burn a cross and ruin the reputations of millions of people from the South and West Virginia who don't really enjoy being thought of as a bunch of sister-fucking hillbilly redneck racist assholes but too late guilt by association
- you can do everything in your legal and/or illegal power to elect a man who never really accomplished anything of note in his life to the highest office in the land just so you can feel like you changed the world
- you can go on TV and whore yourself out in front of the whole world for the chance to win some money or find "true love"
it's all good people.
so anyways, I'm sorry Chris. Even though I still think religion is full of it, I can see that even if it weren't around there would still be plenty of other things to fight and be mad about.
and even though i took a long time to make a point and was being a smartass thru most of it, i'm not being a smartass about the apology, i really am sorry i didn't see it back then.
A while back he and i were having an argument (speaking of, if you've never seen Chris and i debate and argue it's quite a sight. Roger used to be witness to it all the time when we were all roommates and he said we needed our own radio show) anyways Chris and i were arguing. Basically at the time i got on my high horse and was bashing religion. I'm not reversing myself on that, i still consider religion a brainwashing waste of time. HOWEVER... he said something to me that at the time i kinda blew off. He told me that anything can be worshiped. any set of beliefs. Patriotism is an example. I never really got it until recently. The more i read and see and hear about people worshiping stuff like Environmentalism, Feminism, Obama, Liberalism, MTV, Vegetarianism, Television, Celebrities.... the more i see Chris was right. Enjoyment of something has gone too far in this country.
This Obama fad is a great example. People are worshiping the man like he's actually DONE something. Check out this link and see video of a bunch of sick fucks parading their children around "in support of Obama" as if the kids actually knew what the fuck was going on. It's scary. All you people calling Bush "Hitler" might wanna check the facts. Bush hasn't gave a rousing speech IN BERLIN to 200,000 rabid cheering Germans... and Bush doesn't have indoctrinated youths marching for him. I'm just saying.....
Environmentalism as a religion? Just read Michael Crichton's take on it. He pretty much spells it out for you. Telling you that you are a "global warming denier" is just the 21st century version telling you that you're an idiot if you think the Earth isn't the center of the universe. Cuz a few centuries ago, the church would have your ass on a silver platter if you dared to tell them otherwise. Nowadays Al Gore will have your ass if you dare think otherwise to him telling you global warming is real.
So anyways, i can see now i was wrong. It isn't just worshiping god that creates the opportunity to turn people a tad fanatical. People can turn into mindless zombies over any ideology. I guess insanity is equal opportunity.
- you can smite heathens in the name of god
- you can blow yourself up in the name of allah
- you can torch SUVs to protect mother earth and score with that hot chick you met on the campus quad
- you can bitch and complain and withhold sex for women rights
- you can get naked and throw fake blood on coats to protect animals who don't really give a shit either way
- you can toss on a white hood burn a cross and ruin the reputations of millions of people from the South and West Virginia who don't really enjoy being thought of as a bunch of sister-fucking hillbilly redneck racist assholes but too late guilt by association
- you can do everything in your legal and/or illegal power to elect a man who never really accomplished anything of note in his life to the highest office in the land just so you can feel like you changed the world
- you can go on TV and whore yourself out in front of the whole world for the chance to win some money or find "true love"
it's all good people.
so anyways, I'm sorry Chris. Even though I still think religion is full of it, I can see that even if it weren't around there would still be plenty of other things to fight and be mad about.
and even though i took a long time to make a point and was being a smartass thru most of it, i'm not being a smartass about the apology, i really am sorry i didn't see it back then.
Baby name
Man names his daughter Sarah McCain Palin.
dude, your heart is in the right place and all, but your brain is seriously wired wrong.
dude, your heart is in the right place and all, but your brain is seriously wired wrong.
Jail. NOW
So merely a week after bending the American taxpayer over for $85 Billion to keep them from going out of business, AIG execs decided the best use of the money would be to take a mere $440K of it and go to a resort spa.
THROW THEM IN FUCKING JAIL
no charges. no lawyers. no rights. throw them into burly-men-infested-ass-pounding-toothbrush-shiv-piss-in-hole JAIL.
THROW THEM IN FUCKING JAIL
no charges. no lawyers. no rights. throw them into burly-men-infested-ass-pounding-toothbrush-shiv-piss-in-hole JAIL.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
language people
Do people think about the words that come out of their mouth? Not this guy.
Russian hockey legend Igor Larionov says the death of rising star Alexei Cherepanov is "unacceptable" and has asked the Continental Hockey League's majority owner to hold an emergency meeting about the matter.
Someone please find a dictionary for comrade Igor and explain to him what unacceptable means. Here...
Main Entry: un·ac·cept·able
Pronunciation: \ˌən-ik-ˈsep-tə-bəl, -ak-\
Function: adjective
Date: 15th century
: not acceptable
Then, explain how when someone is ALREADY DEAD you really don't have a choice in the matter. You have to accept it. He's dead. Gone. That's it. You can chant unacceptable till the wodka in the nuklear wessles runs dry. HE IS STILL DEAD.
Russian hockey legend Igor Larionov says the death of rising star Alexei Cherepanov is "unacceptable" and has asked the Continental Hockey League's majority owner to hold an emergency meeting about the matter.
Someone please find a dictionary for comrade Igor and explain to him what unacceptable means. Here...
Main Entry: un·ac·cept·able
Pronunciation: \ˌən-ik-ˈsep-tə-bəl, -ak-\
Function: adjective
Date: 15th century
: not acceptable
Then, explain how when someone is ALREADY DEAD you really don't have a choice in the matter. You have to accept it. He's dead. Gone. That's it. You can chant unacceptable till the wodka in the nuklear wessles runs dry. HE IS STILL DEAD.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Winning bad
OK, so you just kicked the holy hell out of another football team 91-0....
instead of coming home to a rousing round of applause and people asking if you thought maybe you could have broken 100 just to see if it could be done you come home to this shit.
A half-hour away in Naples, Eagles coach Bill Kramer -- the man on the winning end -- could use one of those.
He looked at the scoreboard late in the game, saw 91-0, and said he felt sick to his stomach. Kramer's team ran only 31 plays and he kept most of his best players on the sideline -- for the entire game in some cases. But still Kramer knew what was coming.
Soon after the game ended, his inbox began filling with angry e-mails, some from Estero parents wondering why so many points were necessary, some from Naples parents wondering why their kids didn't play more in an effort to pad their stats.
was it necessary? no it wasn't. it wasn't because the other team could have PLAYED DEFENSE. and don't give me that "poor sportsmanship" line. it's one thing to win big and be assholes about it, but i'm not seeing anything in this story that shows they did anything but play better and if you think they should be shamed into feeling bad for doing that then you need to go have yourself a nice warm glass of "cram it jerkwad"
so here's what America has come to. Winning is no longer acceptable and people who need to have losing rubbed in so they learn something are not allowed to lose.
instead of coming home to a rousing round of applause and people asking if you thought maybe you could have broken 100 just to see if it could be done you come home to this shit.
A half-hour away in Naples, Eagles coach Bill Kramer -- the man on the winning end -- could use one of those.
He looked at the scoreboard late in the game, saw 91-0, and said he felt sick to his stomach. Kramer's team ran only 31 plays and he kept most of his best players on the sideline -- for the entire game in some cases. But still Kramer knew what was coming.
Soon after the game ended, his inbox began filling with angry e-mails, some from Estero parents wondering why so many points were necessary, some from Naples parents wondering why their kids didn't play more in an effort to pad their stats.
was it necessary? no it wasn't. it wasn't because the other team could have PLAYED DEFENSE. and don't give me that "poor sportsmanship" line. it's one thing to win big and be assholes about it, but i'm not seeing anything in this story that shows they did anything but play better and if you think they should be shamed into feeling bad for doing that then you need to go have yourself a nice warm glass of "cram it jerkwad"
so here's what America has come to. Winning is no longer acceptable and people who need to have losing rubbed in so they learn something are not allowed to lose.
Oh for the the love of.....
I actually heard someone say "what if Peyton is the other Manning?"
You gotta be fucking shitting me. Eli on his best day is barely better than his brother on his worst. He will NEVER be the same class as Peyton. NEVER. EVER. this man is a fluke. Peyton is a guaranteed hall of famer and Eli only makes the "lucky as hell" hall of fame.
Just how long is this knob-polishing going to keep going?
UPDATE: ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! up yours Giants!!!!! where's your super-Eli NOW?!!?!? suck it Eli!!!!!
You gotta be fucking shitting me. Eli on his best day is barely better than his brother on his worst. He will NEVER be the same class as Peyton. NEVER. EVER. this man is a fluke. Peyton is a guaranteed hall of famer and Eli only makes the "lucky as hell" hall of fame.
Just how long is this knob-polishing going to keep going?
UPDATE: ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! up yours Giants!!!!! where's your super-Eli NOW?!!?!? suck it Eli!!!!!
This is what I mean
This is exactly what i'm talking about. This is the kind of stuff that happens when you keep filling people full of this crap about how important this election is.
I know i said i wouldn't post politics, but i consider this more of a "i told you so" kind of post.
Earlier this month, I wrote about the vandalism that has been plaguing McCain supporters in Albemarle County, Virginia. Well, the vandalism has not only continued, but it has escalated. I spoke again to County GOP Chairman Chris Schoenewald, and he estimates that as of right now, 75-80% of all the large McCain-Palin signs they’ve distributed have been stolen, vandalized, or shredded.
the only reason you aren't seeing this stuff blazing across MSNBC and CNN is because it's anti-McCain/Palin. If it were Obama signs getting trashed they'd all but photoshop some burning crosses in there and suggest Bush and McCain were taking midnight strolls doing it themselves.
This is what happens when you tell people the election is a life and death issue. This is the kind of fanaticism you create when you hammer people to unyielding obedience. Let's get something straight here, EVERYONE on BOTH sides is guilty here. I've heard just as much of this shit coming from Sean Hannity as i have from the likes of Bill Maher and Michael Moore. Both sides are trying to convince us that this election will result in the death of this country if the candidate they support doesn't win.
This is only going to get worse. Trust me.
I know i said i wouldn't post politics, but i consider this more of a "i told you so" kind of post.
Earlier this month, I wrote about the vandalism that has been plaguing McCain supporters in Albemarle County, Virginia. Well, the vandalism has not only continued, but it has escalated. I spoke again to County GOP Chairman Chris Schoenewald, and he estimates that as of right now, 75-80% of all the large McCain-Palin signs they’ve distributed have been stolen, vandalized, or shredded.
the only reason you aren't seeing this stuff blazing across MSNBC and CNN is because it's anti-McCain/Palin. If it were Obama signs getting trashed they'd all but photoshop some burning crosses in there and suggest Bush and McCain were taking midnight strolls doing it themselves.
This is what happens when you tell people the election is a life and death issue. This is the kind of fanaticism you create when you hammer people to unyielding obedience. Let's get something straight here, EVERYONE on BOTH sides is guilty here. I've heard just as much of this shit coming from Sean Hannity as i have from the likes of Bill Maher and Michael Moore. Both sides are trying to convince us that this election will result in the death of this country if the candidate they support doesn't win.
This is only going to get worse. Trust me.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
random things to say
i know, i've been slacking off in my blogging.
ok, so i'm back in the DC area. all i need is my medical and dental clearance and off i go to Iraq. this needs to hurry the hell up. living in a hotel not making tons of money is getting old. i just got back from a 2 week trip to help out a coworker with some things at 2 other offices. In Detroit and San Diego.
- Detroit is a hellhole of a city. If i lived there I'd kill myself. is there anything to do there besides drink, gamble, and go to strip clubs? Cuz that's all i did when i was there. don't get me wrong, i love doing all 3. in fact i think i have a new front runner in the "best strip club experience by Jimmy" category. i still can't get over how awesome Carmen's ass was. Yeah but Detroit is just a depressing city period.
- San Diego is a tropical El Paso. It looks better, weather is better, and it still looks like you're in the United States and not Mexico.
- The Subaru Legacy is a shitty vehicle. A really really crappy car.
- What the fuck is up with California people and prefacing freeways with "the"??? Let's take THE 5 to THE 15. who the hell else talks like that? up yours California you freaks. It bugs me because it smacks of those dipshits in Ohio and their THE Ohio State shit. fuck that whole school.
- my fantasy football season SUCKS.
ok, so i'm back in the DC area. all i need is my medical and dental clearance and off i go to Iraq. this needs to hurry the hell up. living in a hotel not making tons of money is getting old. i just got back from a 2 week trip to help out a coworker with some things at 2 other offices. In Detroit and San Diego.
- Detroit is a hellhole of a city. If i lived there I'd kill myself. is there anything to do there besides drink, gamble, and go to strip clubs? Cuz that's all i did when i was there. don't get me wrong, i love doing all 3. in fact i think i have a new front runner in the "best strip club experience by Jimmy" category. i still can't get over how awesome Carmen's ass was. Yeah but Detroit is just a depressing city period.
- San Diego is a tropical El Paso. It looks better, weather is better, and it still looks like you're in the United States and not Mexico.
- The Subaru Legacy is a shitty vehicle. A really really crappy car.
- What the fuck is up with California people and prefacing freeways with "the"??? Let's take THE 5 to THE 15. who the hell else talks like that? up yours California you freaks. It bugs me because it smacks of those dipshits in Ohio and their THE Ohio State shit. fuck that whole school.
- my fantasy football season SUCKS.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
no more politics
ok, i'm done posting or talking about politics. election... bailout.... i'm fucking sick of it all. it just makes me angry and unreasonable (yes Sara i admit i get real polarized) and it has turned other people's minds to mush. i'm done. next post you see on here ABOUT POLITICS will be on election day when i laugh at all you losers wasting your time.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Top 20
Someone made a list of the top 20 best Simpsons episodes to celebrate the 20th season opening.
Oh look at this....
nothing beyond season 9!!!!
once again this goes to validate my saying that the show needs to be killed immediately to salvage even the most remote scrap of dignity and humor it once held.
Oh look at this....
nothing beyond season 9!!!!
once again this goes to validate my saying that the show needs to be killed immediately to salvage even the most remote scrap of dignity and humor it once held.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Get to know me
found this "get to know me" thing on myspace. figured what the hell, i'm bored.
Basics:
Name: Jimmy Ballard
Date of Birth: 29 March 1976
Birthplace: El Paso, Texas
Current Location: Hotel, Falls Church, Virginia
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5'10"
Heritage: Hispanic
Piercings: Fuck no
Tattoos: None right now
Favorite:
Band/Singer: Lots
Song: Depends
Movie: Tons
TV show: South Park, Battlestar Galactica
Color: Black
Food: Mesquite Chicken w/ Bacon from Quiznos
Pizza topping: Pepperoni
Ice-Cream Flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Drink (alcoholic): Bud Light
Soda: Mountain Dew
Store: Best Buy
This or That
Sunny or rainy: Rainy
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: fruit i guess
Night or day: night
Sour or sweet: sweet
Love or money: money
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: looks
Coffee or tea: tea
Hot or cold: cold
Your:
Goal for this year: make money, learn about job, not get killed
Most missed memory: i dunno
Best physical feature: none, i'm fugly
First thought waking up: boy that was a waste of time
Preferred type of plastic surgery: right now, Liposuction
Sesame street alter ego: Oscar. duh
Most stupid remark: tons of them
Greatest ambition: i got none.
Greatest fear: getting in another relationship
Darkest secret: like i'd post THAT
Strangest received gift: dunno
Worst habit: smoking i guess
Do You:
Smoke: yup
Drink: yup
Curse: fuck yeah
Shower daily: yup
Like thunderstorms: yup
Dance in the rain: nope
Sing: no no hell no
Play an instrument: the plastic guitar on rock band
Get along with your parents: yup
Wish on stars: not anymore
Believe in fate: kinda
Believe in love at first sight: fuck no
Can You:
Drive: oh yes. fast
Sew: a little
Cook: mac and cheese
Speak another language: used to speak some Turkish
Dance: if i'm dancing you know i'm WASTED
Sing: nope
Touch your nose with your tongue: if i could i'd be getting paid more often
Whistle: yup
Curl your tongue: yup
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: oh hell yeah
Been Stoned/High: nope
Eaten Sushi: nope
Been in Love: yup
Skipped school: yup
Made prank calls: nope
Sent someone a love letter: yup
Stolen something: i'm a net pirate
Cried yourself to sleep: i think so, i was drunk
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? too many things annoy me
Are you right or left handed? left
What is your bedtime? when i'm tired
Name three things you can't live without: internet, video games
Do you have any siblings? 1 of each
Do you have any pets? not now
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? hell yeah
What is you middle name? lee
What are you nicknames? yimmy, mayorjimmy, jamus, uncle gee gee (don't ask)
Are you for or against gay marriage? i don't care
Do you have a crush on anyone? no, just lots of chicks i wanna fuck
Are you afraid of the dark? nah
How do you want to die? crushed in a massive orgy
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? sure
What is the last law you’ve broken? speeding i guess
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: red
Eye color: light light blue or green
Height: shorter than me
Weight: less than me
Most important physical feature: not sure, depends on the girl
Biggest turn-off: facial piercings of any kind
Basics:
Name: Jimmy Ballard
Date of Birth: 29 March 1976
Birthplace: El Paso, Texas
Current Location: Hotel, Falls Church, Virginia
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Black
Height: 5'10"
Heritage: Hispanic
Piercings: Fuck no
Tattoos: None right now
Favorite:
Band/Singer: Lots
Song: Depends
Movie: Tons
TV show: South Park, Battlestar Galactica
Color: Black
Food: Mesquite Chicken w/ Bacon from Quiznos
Pizza topping: Pepperoni
Ice-Cream Flavor: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Drink (alcoholic): Bud Light
Soda: Mountain Dew
Store: Best Buy
This or That
Sunny or rainy: Rainy
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Fruit or veggie: fruit i guess
Night or day: night
Sour or sweet: sweet
Love or money: money
Phone or in person: in person
Looks or personality: looks
Coffee or tea: tea
Hot or cold: cold
Your:
Goal for this year: make money, learn about job, not get killed
Most missed memory: i dunno
Best physical feature: none, i'm fugly
First thought waking up: boy that was a waste of time
Preferred type of plastic surgery: right now, Liposuction
Sesame street alter ego: Oscar. duh
Most stupid remark: tons of them
Greatest ambition: i got none.
Greatest fear: getting in another relationship
Darkest secret: like i'd post THAT
Strangest received gift: dunno
Worst habit: smoking i guess
Do You:
Smoke: yup
Drink: yup
Curse: fuck yeah
Shower daily: yup
Like thunderstorms: yup
Dance in the rain: nope
Sing: no no hell no
Play an instrument: the plastic guitar on rock band
Get along with your parents: yup
Wish on stars: not anymore
Believe in fate: kinda
Believe in love at first sight: fuck no
Can You:
Drive: oh yes. fast
Sew: a little
Cook: mac and cheese
Speak another language: used to speak some Turkish
Dance: if i'm dancing you know i'm WASTED
Sing: nope
Touch your nose with your tongue: if i could i'd be getting paid more often
Whistle: yup
Curl your tongue: yup
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: oh hell yeah
Been Stoned/High: nope
Eaten Sushi: nope
Been in Love: yup
Skipped school: yup
Made prank calls: nope
Sent someone a love letter: yup
Stolen something: i'm a net pirate
Cried yourself to sleep: i think so, i was drunk
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? too many things annoy me
Are you right or left handed? left
What is your bedtime? when i'm tired
Name three things you can't live without: internet, video games
Do you have any siblings? 1 of each
Do you have any pets? not now
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? hell yeah
What is you middle name? lee
What are you nicknames? yimmy, mayorjimmy, jamus, uncle gee gee (don't ask)
Are you for or against gay marriage? i don't care
Do you have a crush on anyone? no, just lots of chicks i wanna fuck
Are you afraid of the dark? nah
How do you want to die? crushed in a massive orgy
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? sure
What is the last law you’ve broken? speeding i guess
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: red
Eye color: light light blue or green
Height: shorter than me
Weight: less than me
Most important physical feature: not sure, depends on the girl
Biggest turn-off: facial piercings of any kind
Friday, September 26, 2008
Letterman
What a fucking crybaby.
You know, i used to stick up for Letterman. There was a time i honestly preferred him over Leno. I'm not a huge Leno fan, but right now at least i can say Leno is the only one being not only a grown-up but a professional as well.
Ok so McCain bailed on an appearance. fucking deal with it. you mean to tell me you NEVER in all your years had another celebrity bail on you? You can't even PRETEND like you've been doing this whole television gig more than 5 minutes? Have some fucking self-respect, right now you look like a little bitch. Shit, Paris Hilton could teach you lessons on accepting bad things with some dignity right now.
No more Letterman for me. I'm done. The #1 reason why Mayor Jimmy has quit Letterman.... *drum roll* He's a total crybaby whiny little pansy-ass bitch.
Good night everyone you've been a great audience.
You know, i used to stick up for Letterman. There was a time i honestly preferred him over Leno. I'm not a huge Leno fan, but right now at least i can say Leno is the only one being not only a grown-up but a professional as well.
Ok so McCain bailed on an appearance. fucking deal with it. you mean to tell me you NEVER in all your years had another celebrity bail on you? You can't even PRETEND like you've been doing this whole television gig more than 5 minutes? Have some fucking self-respect, right now you look like a little bitch. Shit, Paris Hilton could teach you lessons on accepting bad things with some dignity right now.
No more Letterman for me. I'm done. The #1 reason why Mayor Jimmy has quit Letterman.... *drum roll* He's a total crybaby whiny little pansy-ass bitch.
Good night everyone you've been a great audience.
Are they serious?
I got this weekly newsletter from one of my companies i work for. There's a section in there about leadership. I found one part of this particularly interesting.
So all these years my "courage to make waves" and "courage to tell the boss they are wrong" was leadership!!! I think i need to send this newsletter to well.... EVERY boss I've ever had so that they can see how wrong they were in making my life a living hell simply because they couldn't see the leadership I possess.
One thing thing is painfully clear from reading the article on leadership. This guy has clearly never been in the military. Making waves and telling the boss they are wrong will get your career NOWHERE. trust me, i know from personal experience.
UPDATE: just to expand on my thoughts on this. here's why the idea of making waves is leadership thing is absolutely retarded. people who will defend this idea will say "you can make waves but in a tactful and professional manner". i call bullshit. no you can't. tactful and making waves do not go together. the very act of making waves negates the tactful part. if you are "tactful" then you move from "making waves" to "politely offering suggestions" and where's the leadership in THAT? the only way you make waves without ruffling feathers is when you do something by accident and it ends up making waves. that sure as bloody hell isn't leadership. maybe we need to have this guy who wrote it spell out for us what HIS definition of "leadership" is. maybe in his fantasyland leaders offer suggestions and tell the boss they're wrong without being crucified but here in reality it's a different story.
So all these years my "courage to make waves" and "courage to tell the boss they are wrong" was leadership!!! I think i need to send this newsletter to well.... EVERY boss I've ever had so that they can see how wrong they were in making my life a living hell simply because they couldn't see the leadership I possess.
One thing thing is painfully clear from reading the article on leadership. This guy has clearly never been in the military. Making waves and telling the boss they are wrong will get your career NOWHERE. trust me, i know from personal experience.
UPDATE: just to expand on my thoughts on this. here's why the idea of making waves is leadership thing is absolutely retarded. people who will defend this idea will say "you can make waves but in a tactful and professional manner". i call bullshit. no you can't. tactful and making waves do not go together. the very act of making waves negates the tactful part. if you are "tactful" then you move from "making waves" to "politely offering suggestions" and where's the leadership in THAT? the only way you make waves without ruffling feathers is when you do something by accident and it ends up making waves. that sure as bloody hell isn't leadership. maybe we need to have this guy who wrote it spell out for us what HIS definition of "leadership" is. maybe in his fantasyland leaders offer suggestions and tell the boss they're wrong without being crucified but here in reality it's a different story.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Rock on
Before i left TX i got together with some coworkers for some Rock Band goodness. We totally rock. Notice Tony in the middle has literally rocked out of his pants.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
FBDS
Ladies, are you tired of guys touching your boobs? Wish you had an effective yet cute way to keep those grubby hands off?
Introducing, the FBDS
Feline Boob Defense System
Introducing, the FBDS
Feline Boob Defense System
Container homes
Story about the expansion of shipping containers converted to cheap housing.
Here
Lemme tell you right now, back when i was in Afghanistan these would have been like moving into a mansion. These things really aren't that bad. You won't be hosting any superbowl parties in them but they're comfy.
Here
Lemme tell you right now, back when i was in Afghanistan these would have been like moving into a mansion. These things really aren't that bad. You won't be hosting any superbowl parties in them but they're comfy.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday Fun Day
Sunday my coworker scored some tickets to the Redskins game. Some NICE ones.
Here's our view. We spent the 1st quarter and half the 2nd from here. I was about 2 minutes from fighting a guy. Some jackhole who thought he was Madden and knew how to run the team. So with about 6 minutes left in the half we relocated.....
here. We spent halftime and most of the 3rd quarter here. I dunno who got the idea to put a Hooters in the stadium but god bless them. Anyways, from there we went to....
A cigar bar. Nice.
I wonder what the poor people are doing.
Here's our view. We spent the 1st quarter and half the 2nd from here. I was about 2 minutes from fighting a guy. Some jackhole who thought he was Madden and knew how to run the team. So with about 6 minutes left in the half we relocated.....
here. We spent halftime and most of the 3rd quarter here. I dunno who got the idea to put a Hooters in the stadium but god bless them. Anyways, from there we went to....
A cigar bar. Nice.
I wonder what the poor people are doing.
It hungers for still more
Let's face it, Xmas has absorbed Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is nothing more than a big meal you eat before you start a month of Xmas shopping. It would appear Xmas is not yet satisfied and requires more sacrifice from the holiday gods. I had warned people that Xmas would soon set its sights on Halloween and it looks like....
I was right
HAPPY LOVE DAY EVERYONE!! (please tell me someone gets the reference)
I was right
HAPPY LOVE DAY EVERYONE!! (please tell me someone gets the reference)
Monday, September 22, 2008
Feel good
For those you friends and family who have expressed concerns about me going to Iraq, i invite you to read an article expressing just how much it has changed. You won't find this kind of good news watching TV. No Jon Stewart making jokes, no Hollywood retards tossing their two cents in.
Here
Here
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Biden: das looney toons
Joe Biden: officially fucking crazy.
pay more taxes or you hate America
so, lemme see if i'm getting this right.... to show they love America, people already handing over 50% of their money need to give MORE... to a bunch of yahoos who have mismanaged they money already given to them. What's the matter? Are they planning on holding more steroid meetings? More lazy people want welfare? Prisoners complaining about lack of hot tubs? Illegal aliens want to own houses and we need to pay for it?
pay more taxes or you hate America
so, lemme see if i'm getting this right.... to show they love America, people already handing over 50% of their money need to give MORE... to a bunch of yahoos who have mismanaged they money already given to them. What's the matter? Are they planning on holding more steroid meetings? More lazy people want welfare? Prisoners complaining about lack of hot tubs? Illegal aliens want to own houses and we need to pay for it?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Much ado about moving
Ok, so it's been a while since an update and there have been a FEW things happening since then.
- no longer in San Antonio.
- currently living in a hotel (a nice one actually) in Falls Church, VA. This is in the Washington DC metro area.
- No longer working at an Air Force help desk. science be praised!!!
- my current job is sitting around waiting to process. for what?
- future job - IT tech in Iraq. yup. jimmy is headed back to the sandbox.
Pretty much everything is the same.
- still the angry loudmouth with a short fuse that you all know and love. actually, i'm not that bad unless news comes on.
As usual i have things bugging me.
- this election coverage makes me ill. How the press finds time to report anything between all the blowjobs they've been giving Obama i'll never know. at this point, i don't believe anything on the news. at all. i don't care who reports it. this has gone from "it kinda looks like certain news organizations have been leaning towards certain candidates" to fox news only stopping the mccain cheering long enough to publish juicy gossip. Only the most deluded of people could actually say with a serious face that everyone but Fox is doing everything they can to get Obama elected.
- despite the joke that is coverage, i don't feel angry about the election. i figure i'm winner either way. the way i see it, if Mccain wins, then i get to see the person i'd rather see in office not to mention the joy of seeing the femenists self-destruct. it's nice that more people are now seeing them for the phonies they always were. femenism was never about women. at least not since the late 80s. if Obama wins, then i get to laugh as he's forced to break promise after promise as he slowly realizes the reality of the job he's undertaking. i also get to laugh in Democrats faces when all this talk of "Change" goes to shit. nothing is going to change. accept it. the system is far bigger than any of us and electing a well-spoken black man raised to godhood by his cult of followers isn't going to bring down the system we live in.
anyways. i'm back to blogging (again).
- no longer in San Antonio.
- currently living in a hotel (a nice one actually) in Falls Church, VA. This is in the Washington DC metro area.
- No longer working at an Air Force help desk. science be praised!!!
- my current job is sitting around waiting to process. for what?
- future job - IT tech in Iraq. yup. jimmy is headed back to the sandbox.
Pretty much everything is the same.
- still the angry loudmouth with a short fuse that you all know and love. actually, i'm not that bad unless news comes on.
As usual i have things bugging me.
- this election coverage makes me ill. How the press finds time to report anything between all the blowjobs they've been giving Obama i'll never know. at this point, i don't believe anything on the news. at all. i don't care who reports it. this has gone from "it kinda looks like certain news organizations have been leaning towards certain candidates" to fox news only stopping the mccain cheering long enough to publish juicy gossip. Only the most deluded of people could actually say with a serious face that everyone but Fox is doing everything they can to get Obama elected.
- despite the joke that is coverage, i don't feel angry about the election. i figure i'm winner either way. the way i see it, if Mccain wins, then i get to see the person i'd rather see in office not to mention the joy of seeing the femenists self-destruct. it's nice that more people are now seeing them for the phonies they always were. femenism was never about women. at least not since the late 80s. if Obama wins, then i get to laugh as he's forced to break promise after promise as he slowly realizes the reality of the job he's undertaking. i also get to laugh in Democrats faces when all this talk of "Change" goes to shit. nothing is going to change. accept it. the system is far bigger than any of us and electing a well-spoken black man raised to godhood by his cult of followers isn't going to bring down the system we live in.
anyways. i'm back to blogging (again).
Monday, August 11, 2008
Amazing
Just watched the Americans kick some French ass. Hells yeah. That was one of the most amazing races I've ever seen. Certainly the greatest swimming race I've ever seen.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
On hold
I think we need to have a break from some things in life. We need to take at least a year from some things off just to kind of let life play out without them.
- Movies in which animals or babies talk. I mean the non animated kind. Stewie and Brian from Family Guy are both examples of acceptable. This shit is not funny anymore. At all. They've reached the bottom of the fucking barrel on this. DO HAVE TO EXPLAIN FURTHER?
- Photographing celebrities 24/7. I have to imagine this shit is beyond annoying as hell for famous people. Can't even go to the fraking grocery store without some douchbag sporting a camera hoping to catch you scratching your balls or pulling your underwear out of your ass. This needs to stop because all you lifeless pathetic losers who actually BUY the magazines and surf the web for these pics thereby giving the camera d-bags a REASON to shove a camera up stars asses. What's even worse is that these fuckos have the temerity to hide behind freedom of the press. are you shitting me? freedom of the press was enacted so that a news organization could print real news that people should know without fear of the government swooping in and ghosting them. It was done so that a reporter could let us know a Senator was taking bribes or that old ladies were getting fleeced for their life savings. Not so some fatass housewife could find out what Britney Spears looks like without makeup.
- Video Games based in WW2. This is game-making at its laziest. Ok, so you wanna enable us to kill humans without pissing off a group. Can't kill blacks, asians, mexicans, arabs, or hippies. White men are ok. Nobody seems to care when the object is to mow down waves of crackers. Not even crackers. What's even better than mowing down white guys? Why, killing endless hordes of EVIL white guys!!! Enter the Nazi. The go-to bad guy for anyone too fucking lazy to think outside the box or too chickenshit to risk pissing off minorities. Do i think we need to switch to killing minorities? No, or course not. I'm just saying it wouldn't kill these unoriginal bastards to MAKE SOMETHING UP. not everything has to be based on real events/groups/people/stories. Engage in some god damn creativity.
- Whore-based reality game shows. Like the Bachelor or Bachelorette. If you're really going to try and pass this shit off as anything approaching real, at the very least you could have the contestants acknowledge that are competing for the chance to be with someone who's basically dating a dozen people at once. You know what? that'll never work. Let's just cancel the shit all-together. Instead of sham relationships, let's see people either compete for something worth winning or at least provide a service to the community. Give a dozen people federal officer status, tasers, handcuffs, batons, and a list of bail jumpers or wanted criminals. Give out prizes for anyone texting in tips on where to find these fugitives. First person to round up their list wins. It doesn't even have to be dangerous felons. Have a team of women hunting men who aren't paying child support. That'll appease the feminist crowds. Get a group of guys who just lost their jobs making cars to hunt car thieves. Get a group of janitors to hunt down vandals. The point is, let's start being creative. I'll volunteer for one. I'll lead a group of IT people to track down spammers. The episode ends with me draining the battery on my taser by shocking the guy's balls till they catch on fire. You think people won't watch? People are already doing FOR FREE.
I'm sure I'll think of more. right now I'm hitting the sack.
- Movies in which animals or babies talk. I mean the non animated kind. Stewie and Brian from Family Guy are both examples of acceptable. This shit is not funny anymore. At all. They've reached the bottom of the fucking barrel on this. DO HAVE TO EXPLAIN FURTHER?
- Photographing celebrities 24/7. I have to imagine this shit is beyond annoying as hell for famous people. Can't even go to the fraking grocery store without some douchbag sporting a camera hoping to catch you scratching your balls or pulling your underwear out of your ass. This needs to stop because all you lifeless pathetic losers who actually BUY the magazines and surf the web for these pics thereby giving the camera d-bags a REASON to shove a camera up stars asses. What's even worse is that these fuckos have the temerity to hide behind freedom of the press. are you shitting me? freedom of the press was enacted so that a news organization could print real news that people should know without fear of the government swooping in and ghosting them. It was done so that a reporter could let us know a Senator was taking bribes or that old ladies were getting fleeced for their life savings. Not so some fatass housewife could find out what Britney Spears looks like without makeup.
- Video Games based in WW2. This is game-making at its laziest. Ok, so you wanna enable us to kill humans without pissing off a group. Can't kill blacks, asians, mexicans, arabs, or hippies. White men are ok. Nobody seems to care when the object is to mow down waves of crackers. Not even crackers. What's even better than mowing down white guys? Why, killing endless hordes of EVIL white guys!!! Enter the Nazi. The go-to bad guy for anyone too fucking lazy to think outside the box or too chickenshit to risk pissing off minorities. Do i think we need to switch to killing minorities? No, or course not. I'm just saying it wouldn't kill these unoriginal bastards to MAKE SOMETHING UP. not everything has to be based on real events/groups/people/stories. Engage in some god damn creativity.
- Whore-based reality game shows. Like the Bachelor or Bachelorette. If you're really going to try and pass this shit off as anything approaching real, at the very least you could have the contestants acknowledge that are competing for the chance to be with someone who's basically dating a dozen people at once. You know what? that'll never work. Let's just cancel the shit all-together. Instead of sham relationships, let's see people either compete for something worth winning or at least provide a service to the community. Give a dozen people federal officer status, tasers, handcuffs, batons, and a list of bail jumpers or wanted criminals. Give out prizes for anyone texting in tips on where to find these fugitives. First person to round up their list wins. It doesn't even have to be dangerous felons. Have a team of women hunting men who aren't paying child support. That'll appease the feminist crowds. Get a group of guys who just lost their jobs making cars to hunt car thieves. Get a group of janitors to hunt down vandals. The point is, let's start being creative. I'll volunteer for one. I'll lead a group of IT people to track down spammers. The episode ends with me draining the battery on my taser by shocking the guy's balls till they catch on fire. You think people won't watch? People are already doing FOR FREE.
I'm sure I'll think of more. right now I'm hitting the sack.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Recommendations
I have a few things online to recommend.
- Zero Punction This guy is great. The animation makes the ranting 50 times better. Try to imagine a British version of me.
- xkcd A very smart, offbeat, and funny comic. Stick figure drawing, mathmatical references galore, and some deep thoughts about love and loss.
- Facebook. check out my profile pic. tee hee.
- The Pirate Bay if you don't know about Torrents, i highly suggest you learn. Kiss paying for music and movies goodbye. Rediscover old TV shows. Get some software.
- Filehippo tired of paying for software? Plenty of free replacements for the stuff you're probably paying out the ass for right now. Better stuff too. For example, tell Adobe Acrobat and its 1 hour start-up time to shove off and get FoxIt. Give Microsoft Office the finger and get Openoffice. Give Norton a huge foot in the mouth, punch to the gut, and bullet to the brain... and get AVG.
- Zero Punction This guy is great. The animation makes the ranting 50 times better. Try to imagine a British version of me.
- xkcd A very smart, offbeat, and funny comic. Stick figure drawing, mathmatical references galore, and some deep thoughts about love and loss.
- Facebook. check out my profile pic. tee hee.
- The Pirate Bay if you don't know about Torrents, i highly suggest you learn. Kiss paying for music and movies goodbye. Rediscover old TV shows. Get some software.
- Filehippo tired of paying for software? Plenty of free replacements for the stuff you're probably paying out the ass for right now. Better stuff too. For example, tell Adobe Acrobat and its 1 hour start-up time to shove off and get FoxIt. Give Microsoft Office the finger and get Openoffice. Give Norton a huge foot in the mouth, punch to the gut, and bullet to the brain... and get AVG.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Still selling out, still not funny anymore
Some footage of the new Treehouse of Horror for the 20th season of the Simpsons was screened at Comic-Con. From the discription it sounds like we're in for another year of unfunny selling out to Liberal-ville. We're dangerously close to having to resort to "accidental" deaths of the cast and crew in order to stop this travesty of a show. Am i alone in thinking this?
Spoiler warning: Here's what they described.
The presentation began with a screening of two clips from the forthcoming "Treehouse of Horror XIX," introduced by Groening. BEGIN SPOILERS:
The first clip is set on Election Day, with half of a Springfield street's storefronts decorated with Obama signs and the other side covered with McCain ones. Grandpa Simpson holds a sign that reads, "I Still Like Ike"; Mr. Burns stands on the opposite side with a sign that says, "Vote NO on the Magna Carta."
Homer checks in at the polling station looking to vote for governor, president, "anything that will take more money from our parks and libraries." Home can't squeeze into the first voting booth so he's sent to the handicap one since its wider. That booth has an electronic voting machine, which he soon discovers is rigged when his votes for Obama are recognized as McCain votes. When he threatens to report the machine, it opens up revealing a vacuum tube that sucks him inside. He gets sucked inside and then spat back out into the auditorium, where stamps Homer's head with a sticker that reads, "I Just Voted."
Spoiler warning: Here's what they described.
The presentation began with a screening of two clips from the forthcoming "Treehouse of Horror XIX," introduced by Groening. BEGIN SPOILERS:
The first clip is set on Election Day, with half of a Springfield street's storefronts decorated with Obama signs and the other side covered with McCain ones. Grandpa Simpson holds a sign that reads, "I Still Like Ike"; Mr. Burns stands on the opposite side with a sign that says, "Vote NO on the Magna Carta."
Homer checks in at the polling station looking to vote for governor, president, "anything that will take more money from our parks and libraries." Home can't squeeze into the first voting booth so he's sent to the handicap one since its wider. That booth has an electronic voting machine, which he soon discovers is rigged when his votes for Obama are recognized as McCain votes. When he threatens to report the machine, it opens up revealing a vacuum tube that sucks him inside. He gets sucked inside and then spat back out into the auditorium, where stamps Homer's head with a sticker that reads, "I Just Voted."
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The call
5 year old says so long to day care, hello to Hooters.
If you're the father you say to the boy, "that's my boy!!"
Then you go find an ass to kick in that day care center.
That's a pretty good Hooters too.
If you're the father you say to the boy, "that's my boy!!"
Then you go find an ass to kick in that day care center.
That's a pretty good Hooters too.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
ESPY awards and more sports
I was entertained. Justin Timberlake was a good host. Loved the musical number. Let me just say a few things.
- fuck the New York Giants. fuck em all right in the ass. fuck all you phony assholes who are NOW going around saying "i knew they'd win". you fucking liars. even the GIANTS barely thought they'd win that game so don't give me that shit. thanks to Tom and the pats screwing the pooch at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME we now have everyone fighting for a chance to suck the Giants off. fuck all that shit.
- The LPGA should be ashamed of themselves. I understand she forgot to sign her scorecard. fine, i get that. but you know what? they should have told her right away. for them to let her play the next day while they milk another day of publicity was just pathetic. that's a messed up thing to do. to anyone.
- Best line of the show. Ray Allen's acceptance speech for Best Team "wow, another win in L.A." that's great. up yours Lakers ya losers.
- How could you not give Best Game to the Suns-Spurs Game 1 playoff game? That was just a good game. No, let's just take another chance to blow Eli. Pussies.
- fuck the New York Giants. fuck em all right in the ass. fuck all you phony assholes who are NOW going around saying "i knew they'd win". you fucking liars. even the GIANTS barely thought they'd win that game so don't give me that shit. thanks to Tom and the pats screwing the pooch at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME we now have everyone fighting for a chance to suck the Giants off. fuck all that shit.
- The LPGA should be ashamed of themselves. I understand she forgot to sign her scorecard. fine, i get that. but you know what? they should have told her right away. for them to let her play the next day while they milk another day of publicity was just pathetic. that's a messed up thing to do. to anyone.
- Best line of the show. Ray Allen's acceptance speech for Best Team "wow, another win in L.A." that's great. up yours Lakers ya losers.
- How could you not give Best Game to the Suns-Spurs Game 1 playoff game? That was just a good game. No, let's just take another chance to blow Eli. Pussies.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Back in the game
i find there's enough going on that i think it's high time i start throwing my 2 cents back in.
Sports
- NASCAR continues a downward spiral to oblivion. Kyle Busch is never going to be popular, no matter HOW many races he wins. Period. So take note NASCAR, your policy of "shove winners down the fan's throats like hot dogs in a competition no matter how much they don't care" is going to kill you. We didn't like having the douchebag jimmie johnson shoved in our faces and you are really really really pushing it with kyle busch. you aren't even being discreet about it. We know the fans hate Busch and that you want to mask that as desperately as you can. Know how i know that? You show like 5 seconds of footage of the stands when he wins. Stands not filled with people screaming their heads off. What am i talking about? Go look at the footage you have of Jr, Gordon (jeff), or Stewart winning a race. With the economy going the way it is you're already hurting for real NASCAR fans to show up. You're already waving your dick at the TV watching fans with the eleventy-ka-dillion commercials you show. Oh and by the way, trying to get Obama sponsorship? Why not just put a sign on the pace car that says "we promise we aren't racist" it'll be cheaper and save you some dignity.
- July sucks for sports. No NBA, No NFL, just Baseball. *gag*
- That chick playing basketball in the Olympics for Russia? My brother and i had a long discussion about her. No, i don't think she's a "traitor". If she didn't have such a strong case for saying she wasn't included because of back-room politics (how do you not ask a top 5 WNBA player to even try out?) I'd be inclined to tell her "you know what honey, lots of people who wanted to go to China didn't make it. Suck it the fuck up and try again in 4 years." but her not getting picked was a pretty shady deal. STILL.... she seems to want to not be hated and thought of in a negative light. Not going to happen. Just be glad you're in America. Other countries take the whole "representing your country" thing a SHITLOAD more seriously than we do.
- This whole Favre story needs to die. nobody seems to wanna see things from the Packers point of view. so let me help you out. they have to think of the team beyond the great Brett Favre. they have to consider certain possibilities and what they would do to the team. My sports-authority friend Robbie says that Favre is still a top 10 QB. Which begs the question "why the fuck would you give the enemy help by trading a GOOD player?" if you can negotiate a deal that makes your team better then by all means trade away, but if people are just asking you to release Favre just because he wants to play well fuck all that shit. you don't give the other teams ammo, that's just stupid. i mean, suppose they did get rid of Favre and he goes on the next season to win the superbowl? how stupid does Green Bay look THEN? the owner would have to move to Canada to escape death by fans. luckily it isn't far. so let's cut this "he's still got the itch to play we should do whatever he wants" shit.
Politics
- I love reading these articles talking about how members of congress are ragging on Bush. It makes me laugh because these bozos have an 18% approval rating. 18 fucking percent. not even 1/5 of the country thinks they're doing their job and they have the BALLS to criticize Bush? Of course, then i remember the American public has become a bunch of brain-dead nimrods who will ignore anything you do as long as you blame Bush for it. So i guess if i could suck at my job and people wouldn't even care, i'd be doing the same thing. Guess the joke is on us huh?
- Hey America, you DO realize that the Government is made of up more than just the President and Vice President right? contrary to what some of you geniuses believe, Bush and Cheney aren't running the whole show single-handedly. There is a Congress and Senate and Supreme Court also equally responsible for the mess we're in. Just thought I'd throw that out there in case some people decide to turn their brain on for a second.
- I really do hope Obama wins. first, because i wanna see what everyone does when life doesn't get better and there's no republicans or white men to blame. second, i wanna see if the general level of bitching from blacks about equality goes down some. doubt it. you think Spike Lee and Jessie Jackson are eager to get out of that nice little rut they're in? If he doesn't win, i honestly think we'll be seeing the end of the Democrat party as we know it. I think the moderate Dems will have been pushed over the edge and won't tolerate the lunatic fringe anymore. Right now i think they tolerate the moveon.org crowd because they want to win so bad they can taste it. but if it doesn't pay off, they're going to be pissed. So now that i think about it, maybe i don't want to see Obama win. Maybe it'll be more fun to watch the Democratic party eat itself alive.
Gaming
- nothing new here. Been playing nothing but World of Warcraft. I have a 70 Pally, a 70 Hunter and to avoid burnout i'm now leveling a Rogue.
Movies/TV
- The Dark Knight lives up to the hype and then some. Cinema godhood hath Heath Ledger attained.
- I'm in for some bittersweet TV viewing. Battlestar Galactica and The Shield.... when they come back on it's only to end the series.
- I can tell my sister is getting tired of me walking in while she's watching these dating reality shows (bachelor/bachelorette) and saying "so when are they going to ask one of these guys/girls if they can taste the dozen other men/women on the person they just made out with?"
Personal Life
- none. I go to work, i come home, i game, i surf the web. I don't have a life. meh. I'm cool with that. i see no need to spend the time/money/effort to go out.
Sports
- NASCAR continues a downward spiral to oblivion. Kyle Busch is never going to be popular, no matter HOW many races he wins. Period. So take note NASCAR, your policy of "shove winners down the fan's throats like hot dogs in a competition no matter how much they don't care" is going to kill you. We didn't like having the douchebag jimmie johnson shoved in our faces and you are really really really pushing it with kyle busch. you aren't even being discreet about it. We know the fans hate Busch and that you want to mask that as desperately as you can. Know how i know that? You show like 5 seconds of footage of the stands when he wins. Stands not filled with people screaming their heads off. What am i talking about? Go look at the footage you have of Jr, Gordon (jeff), or Stewart winning a race. With the economy going the way it is you're already hurting for real NASCAR fans to show up. You're already waving your dick at the TV watching fans with the eleventy-ka-dillion commercials you show. Oh and by the way, trying to get Obama sponsorship? Why not just put a sign on the pace car that says "we promise we aren't racist" it'll be cheaper and save you some dignity.
- July sucks for sports. No NBA, No NFL, just Baseball. *gag*
- That chick playing basketball in the Olympics for Russia? My brother and i had a long discussion about her. No, i don't think she's a "traitor". If she didn't have such a strong case for saying she wasn't included because of back-room politics (how do you not ask a top 5 WNBA player to even try out?) I'd be inclined to tell her "you know what honey, lots of people who wanted to go to China didn't make it. Suck it the fuck up and try again in 4 years." but her not getting picked was a pretty shady deal. STILL.... she seems to want to not be hated and thought of in a negative light. Not going to happen. Just be glad you're in America. Other countries take the whole "representing your country" thing a SHITLOAD more seriously than we do.
- This whole Favre story needs to die. nobody seems to wanna see things from the Packers point of view. so let me help you out. they have to think of the team beyond the great Brett Favre. they have to consider certain possibilities and what they would do to the team. My sports-authority friend Robbie says that Favre is still a top 10 QB. Which begs the question "why the fuck would you give the enemy help by trading a GOOD player?" if you can negotiate a deal that makes your team better then by all means trade away, but if people are just asking you to release Favre just because he wants to play well fuck all that shit. you don't give the other teams ammo, that's just stupid. i mean, suppose they did get rid of Favre and he goes on the next season to win the superbowl? how stupid does Green Bay look THEN? the owner would have to move to Canada to escape death by fans. luckily it isn't far. so let's cut this "he's still got the itch to play we should do whatever he wants" shit.
Politics
- I love reading these articles talking about how members of congress are ragging on Bush. It makes me laugh because these bozos have an 18% approval rating. 18 fucking percent. not even 1/5 of the country thinks they're doing their job and they have the BALLS to criticize Bush? Of course, then i remember the American public has become a bunch of brain-dead nimrods who will ignore anything you do as long as you blame Bush for it. So i guess if i could suck at my job and people wouldn't even care, i'd be doing the same thing. Guess the joke is on us huh?
- Hey America, you DO realize that the Government is made of up more than just the President and Vice President right? contrary to what some of you geniuses believe, Bush and Cheney aren't running the whole show single-handedly. There is a Congress and Senate and Supreme Court also equally responsible for the mess we're in. Just thought I'd throw that out there in case some people decide to turn their brain on for a second.
- I really do hope Obama wins. first, because i wanna see what everyone does when life doesn't get better and there's no republicans or white men to blame. second, i wanna see if the general level of bitching from blacks about equality goes down some. doubt it. you think Spike Lee and Jessie Jackson are eager to get out of that nice little rut they're in? If he doesn't win, i honestly think we'll be seeing the end of the Democrat party as we know it. I think the moderate Dems will have been pushed over the edge and won't tolerate the lunatic fringe anymore. Right now i think they tolerate the moveon.org crowd because they want to win so bad they can taste it. but if it doesn't pay off, they're going to be pissed. So now that i think about it, maybe i don't want to see Obama win. Maybe it'll be more fun to watch the Democratic party eat itself alive.
Gaming
- nothing new here. Been playing nothing but World of Warcraft. I have a 70 Pally, a 70 Hunter and to avoid burnout i'm now leveling a Rogue.
Movies/TV
- The Dark Knight lives up to the hype and then some. Cinema godhood hath Heath Ledger attained.
- I'm in for some bittersweet TV viewing. Battlestar Galactica and The Shield.... when they come back on it's only to end the series.
- I can tell my sister is getting tired of me walking in while she's watching these dating reality shows (bachelor/bachelorette) and saying "so when are they going to ask one of these guys/girls if they can taste the dozen other men/women on the person they just made out with?"
Personal Life
- none. I go to work, i come home, i game, i surf the web. I don't have a life. meh. I'm cool with that. i see no need to spend the time/money/effort to go out.
Monday, June 23, 2008
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