So i came across this blog post that talks about how some companies are getting creative in the job interview. It also lists some that are kinda out there.
Here is the blog
I'm grabbing questions from the article that people say they've been asked and giving my answers. Questions in italics, my answers in bold. Enjoy.
If you were a superhero, who would you be and why?
Superman, because he's the greatest. DUH
If every time you entered a room your theme song played, what would it be and why?
the indiana jones theme. and i'd have a boulder follow me in the room. cuz that's how i roll.
On a scale of 1-10, how weird are you? Why did you choose that number?
10. *shrug*
What was your best MacGyver moment?
i once made a bazooka out of a paper clip and a stick of chewing gum.
If you saw someone steal a quarter, would you report it? If not, what dollar amount would you report?
depends. do i KNOW they're stealing it? beyond a shadow of a doubt? if so i'd confront them with a "really dude? you're going to get fired over a QUARTER?!?!?"
“I was once asked what I would bring if the department had a potluck.” - Amanda L.
a case of Monster and a healthy appetite.
“If you were a sea creature, what would you be and why?” - Jay D.
do penguins count as sea creatures?
“What color is your brain?” - Connie B.
depends. still bloody? fresh?
“If you were a professional wrestler, what would your stage name be?” - Alyssa Giustino, KEH Communications
EL HOMBRE DE LOS MOLECULOS!!!
“How many airplanes are in the skies over the US right now?” - Timothy R. Yee, Green Retirement Plans, Inc.
if i actually knew that you think i'd be applying HERE?
“How would you open the locked and sealed window in this hotel room?” - Yee
i could try tossing someone thru it. how much do you weigh?
“I was asked, if I went to the moon and can only bring three things, what would I bring? Oxygen and food were already provided. I said my bed — had a great mattress then– my friends and a dog.” - Cindy Holtzman, Medical Refund Service, Inc.
a bitchin moon buggy, a PC full of games and porn, and a death ray to hold the world ransom for.... one MEELLION DOLLARS!!!!
“I was asked if I knew how to make explosives, [right] after 9/11, in an interview for an administrative assistant position.” - @danileo1
would you settle for 4 alarm chili?
“What kind of car do you drive?” - Susan C.
a sad piece of shit that makes me sad every time i sit inside it. next question, no i will not elaborate.
“Will you file my fingernails?” (For a position at a church.) - Autrey K.
under "F" for fingernails?
“I interviewed for a [job] waiting tables and the manager wanted to know how I would eat an ice cream cone.” - Peggy M.
uh.... yeah see the thing about that.... *runs*
“I was asked what my grade point average was in college. I have a BS, MS, Ph.D. and spent two and a half years as a postdoctoral scholar in a government research lab.” - Charles T.
1.5.... no wait that was my blood alcohol level.. no wait... DAMN!!!! i need a do-over.
“If you had been on the Titanic would you have been in a row boat, on the ship, or freezing in the water? If you were a Spice Girl, what would you call yourself? How would you feel about doing small personal errands like dog-sitting or buying gifts for my ‘lady friends?’” (All from the same interview.) - Trina Rimmer, TrinaRimmer.com
i would escape in my jet pack. you didn't think i'd go back in time to the Titanic without a plan did you? I'd be surly spice, a real fucking ray of sunshine. I'm going to assume by "errands" you mean deliver pizza and clean pipes.
“Who won the Super Bowl last year?” - Kevin D.
saints
“So, are you married or whatever?” - @KYProgressive
hell no
“Kids you don’t have one of those, do you?” - Lois C.
god no
“Have you ever used state assistance?” - Katie L.
hell no
“Do you have migraines? Do you have small children? Do you like long vacations?” – Krishna S.
migraines.... only around small children.
“Do you attend church? What is your denomination?” - Katie B.
HA HA HA HA!!! good one.
“Do you spank your child?” - Karen
had i children i would rend them mercilessly.
“The strangest question I received was in regards to astrology. He was a real estate agent you wanted to know my date, time and where I was born. He wanted to see if we were a match. Needless to say I didn’t get the job.” - Teresa Turner, Examer.com
freak
“Are you gonna stay or just practicing for the next job?” - @soyflz
am i going to be given a reason to stay?
“Where do you see yourself globally?” - Andrew B.
lemme check the ole GPS....
“What is a secret about you that no one knows?” - Daniel S.
oh sure, i'll tell a total stranger.
I was asked “If you opened your sock drawer, what would it look like?” - Nancy Dahl. SheTaxi
what sock drawer?
“So if I were to go out and get a few drinks with your friends, what would they tell me about you?” - Kristin Rose
you seem like a nice person, don't piss Jimmy off.
“What is your favorite movie?” - @DMRyan711
i don't know. it changes constantly.
“What’s the funniest Youtube video you have seen lately?” - @byuboston
a kitten clawing at food.
“What wine do you drink? What is your favorite bouquet?” - @Durudarshan
yeah, i don't do wine. sorry.
“Which Winnie the Pooh character do you relate with the most and why?” - Celie H.
half Eeyore, half tigger. i'm a person of extreme moods.
“If you were a Disney character, what character would you be and why?” - Jayne S.
I wanna be the prince from Snow White. how awesome is that? wandering around and oh hey there's a hot chick lemme just give her a smooch and poof she's up and she's in love with me. time to get my freak on with a girl who's going to be tickled pink she's with a man over 3 feet tall.
“If a movie was made about your life, who would play you and why?” - @tofuti2001
The Rock. because *punch* that's why.
“If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” - Jerry h.
oak?
“I was once asked if my closet was organized” - Crissy Landreth
yeah sure. it's organized into clothes on hangers and clothes on floor.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
American women.... STFU
So I was reading an article talking about basically how Tunisia is facing some hard choices now and one of them is what and how big a role religion will/should play in the political landscape of the future.
Worth a read.
Anyways, the reason i'm posting is to point out a part of the article i read that made me say "god damn, the chicks in this country really don't know just how good they got it. I swear the next girl I hear complain about how OPPRESSED women are here i think i might have to slap her." Here's the part.....
She shared in the joy of the overthrow of what she described as Mr. Ben Ali’s kleptocratic government. But she also says she believes that the government’s crackdown on any Muslim groups it considered extremist, a draconian police program that included monitoring those who prayed regularly, helped protect the rights of women.
OK, so to summarize.... if she were talking about here she's basically saying that the only way she'd feel safe is if the government were allowed to and frequently did, watch and occasionally kick the shit out of the Westboro Baptist Church and the Mormons. That's how fucking bad it is. The chicks in that country WELCOME a government that engages in religious oppression of sorts.
I also had to stop and wonder "how the fuck is it that they get it over there we still can't get our leaders or the people who elect them to get it over here?" when i read this.
Protesters held up signs saying, “Politics ruins religion and religion ruins politics.”
I know we like to PRETEND there's a separation of church and state in this country, but until i start seeing some open Atheists elected to high government positions, I call bullshit.
Worth a read.
Anyways, the reason i'm posting is to point out a part of the article i read that made me say "god damn, the chicks in this country really don't know just how good they got it. I swear the next girl I hear complain about how OPPRESSED women are here i think i might have to slap her." Here's the part.....
She shared in the joy of the overthrow of what she described as Mr. Ben Ali’s kleptocratic government. But she also says she believes that the government’s crackdown on any Muslim groups it considered extremist, a draconian police program that included monitoring those who prayed regularly, helped protect the rights of women.
OK, so to summarize.... if she were talking about here she's basically saying that the only way she'd feel safe is if the government were allowed to and frequently did, watch and occasionally kick the shit out of the Westboro Baptist Church and the Mormons. That's how fucking bad it is. The chicks in that country WELCOME a government that engages in religious oppression of sorts.
I also had to stop and wonder "how the fuck is it that they get it over there we still can't get our leaders or the people who elect them to get it over here?" when i read this.
Protesters held up signs saying, “Politics ruins religion and religion ruins politics.”
I know we like to PRETEND there's a separation of church and state in this country, but until i start seeing some open Atheists elected to high government positions, I call bullshit.
Monday, February 21, 2011
College pricks
Note to self: go to Columbia University and just kick everyone in sight's ass. They've earned it.
Friday, February 18, 2011
cooties... ew
Ok so we got a story about a high school (home schooled) guy who refused to wrestle a girl.
So here's the thing. He says it's because his "religious beliefs" which then goes on to give 2 different possible specifics on that. Both of which are horseshit. Either....
reason 1 - the sport involves some violence and with a girl involved it's a bad thing.
why it's BS - i'll admit i'm not very well versed in the Pentacostal religion, but i'd love to see the part in which violence against women in the slightest is EXPRESSLY forbidden. oh and if it turns to violence then that means you suck at it. there's a reason wrassling and wresling are 2 different things. This isn't the WWE and you arne't being asked to go out and give her a Stone Cold Stunner.
reason 2 - this is the reasoning i think is the real reason why.... Jamie Northrup is a minister in the Believers in Grace Fellowship, an independent Pentecostal church in Marion that believes young men and women shouldn't touch in a "familiar way," said Bill Randles, the church's pastor.
why it's BS - Ok so let's follow this one to the logical conclusion shall we? They're saying that the act of wrestling means the contestants are touching in "a familiar way" in other words, they are engaging in activity of a sexual nature. So wouldn't that make all the wrestling he's been doing with the guys GAY? I mean, they just admitted that just DOING the wrestling was a sexual act. He wasn't asked to pin and fuck her, he was asked to do the same thig he does to all the guys and he said he couldn't because it apparently is ok to do sex stuff with guys but not girls. Once again, i'm not an expert on the Pentacostlas, but I have to imagine that they aren't cool with homosexuality.
either way, all this talk of "he's so brave for this decision" crap is total horseshit. he's a candyass pussy and deserves to be ridiculed till he cries.
So here's the thing. He says it's because his "religious beliefs" which then goes on to give 2 different possible specifics on that. Both of which are horseshit. Either....
reason 1 - the sport involves some violence and with a girl involved it's a bad thing.
why it's BS - i'll admit i'm not very well versed in the Pentacostal religion, but i'd love to see the part in which violence against women in the slightest is EXPRESSLY forbidden. oh and if it turns to violence then that means you suck at it. there's a reason wrassling and wresling are 2 different things. This isn't the WWE and you arne't being asked to go out and give her a Stone Cold Stunner.
reason 2 - this is the reasoning i think is the real reason why.... Jamie Northrup is a minister in the Believers in Grace Fellowship, an independent Pentecostal church in Marion that believes young men and women shouldn't touch in a "familiar way," said Bill Randles, the church's pastor.
why it's BS - Ok so let's follow this one to the logical conclusion shall we? They're saying that the act of wrestling means the contestants are touching in "a familiar way" in other words, they are engaging in activity of a sexual nature. So wouldn't that make all the wrestling he's been doing with the guys GAY? I mean, they just admitted that just DOING the wrestling was a sexual act. He wasn't asked to pin and fuck her, he was asked to do the same thig he does to all the guys and he said he couldn't because it apparently is ok to do sex stuff with guys but not girls. Once again, i'm not an expert on the Pentacostlas, but I have to imagine that they aren't cool with homosexuality.
either way, all this talk of "he's so brave for this decision" crap is total horseshit. he's a candyass pussy and deserves to be ridiculed till he cries.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Fuck you Iraq
I don't think i could possibly tell them to go fuck themselves any harder after reading this.
Ungrateful assholes doesn't even scratch the surface.
Ungrateful assholes doesn't even scratch the surface.
New favorite site
My friend Phil pointed me to this site the other day.
Don't even reply
basically it's some guy emailing replies to ads and just fucking with people. It's fucking hilarious.
Like this one.... Angry TV buyer
I just love how the guy comes totally unhinged at the end.
Don't even reply
basically it's some guy emailing replies to ads and just fucking with people. It's fucking hilarious.
Like this one.... Angry TV buyer
I just love how the guy comes totally unhinged at the end.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Hottest in the sky
The list of hottest flights attendants is out.
Not one single airline from this country. How is it that Hooters airline didn't make the cut? I'm guessing this poll they took was people travelling outside the U.S.
Not one single airline from this country. How is it that Hooters airline didn't make the cut? I'm guessing this poll they took was people travelling outside the U.S.
Dumb and dumberer-er-est
Racist black woman (cuz let's face it, if you read what she says that's all it really is) has issue with a Superbowl commercial.
what's funny is that what she says isn't the most upsetting thing about all this. not even the thought that she wastes tax-payer money in a state that does NOT have the cash to burn every time she opens her goddamn mouth. no, what's the most upsetting thing about this is the thought that SHE WAS ELECTED. someone actually listened to what she has to say and said "yup, sounds good to me."
i agree with one of the commenters in their assesment of her "if she were any dumber we'd have to water her." and then remember someone actually put her in a position of power. i dunno bout all of you but i'm ready to jump off a bridge.
what's funny is that what she says isn't the most upsetting thing about all this. not even the thought that she wastes tax-payer money in a state that does NOT have the cash to burn every time she opens her goddamn mouth. no, what's the most upsetting thing about this is the thought that SHE WAS ELECTED. someone actually listened to what she has to say and said "yup, sounds good to me."
i agree with one of the commenters in their assesment of her "if she were any dumber we'd have to water her." and then remember someone actually put her in a position of power. i dunno bout all of you but i'm ready to jump off a bridge.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
NFL grand stage
I understand the anger. I understand the desire to see the increasing trend of rewarding only the well-to-do, done away with. I understand every single word printed in this opinion piece.
What I don't do, is sympathize.
We made this monster. We birthed it, we fed it, we nurtured it as it grew, and now we have to deal with the fact that it's gotten huge and out of control. The fact is, it isn't going away any time soon. Why should it? Sure you can write a nice piece saying "i think it's a travesty that 1200 people spent a ton of money only to be turned away!!!" But you know what Goddell and Jerry are going to read? That this Superbowl was the highest rated ever. Those are the numbers that talk to those guys. The average joe bag-o-donuts can bitch all he wants about how he and the rest of the common man are being priced out of the game, but as long as those same commoners are paying money for Jerseys, Cable channels, and other products IT'S GOING TO KEEP HAPPENING.
It's the same reason all you rubes are paying $10 to go sit in a movie theater and watch recycled garbage, because you're wiling to pay $10 to go sit and watch recycled garbage.
I don't blame any of the parties involved in sucking us all dry. If we're all stupid enough to pay, then more power to anyone smart enough to take our money.
What I don't do, is sympathize.
We made this monster. We birthed it, we fed it, we nurtured it as it grew, and now we have to deal with the fact that it's gotten huge and out of control. The fact is, it isn't going away any time soon. Why should it? Sure you can write a nice piece saying "i think it's a travesty that 1200 people spent a ton of money only to be turned away!!!" But you know what Goddell and Jerry are going to read? That this Superbowl was the highest rated ever. Those are the numbers that talk to those guys. The average joe bag-o-donuts can bitch all he wants about how he and the rest of the common man are being priced out of the game, but as long as those same commoners are paying money for Jerseys, Cable channels, and other products IT'S GOING TO KEEP HAPPENING.
It's the same reason all you rubes are paying $10 to go sit in a movie theater and watch recycled garbage, because you're wiling to pay $10 to go sit and watch recycled garbage.
I don't blame any of the parties involved in sucking us all dry. If we're all stupid enough to pay, then more power to anyone smart enough to take our money.
Rail to the future
So about Biden's $53 BILLION rail project.....
- it'll never actually get built. Between the logistics, the hassle of unions, the environmental groups that will be bitching up a storm, the different states and their laws and whatever.... it's never going to happen.
- if by some miracle they hurdle all that and actually DO build it. there's DEFINATELY no fucking way it gets done for the price he's quoting. If my years in government contracting taught me ANYTHING, it's that the first price agreed on is never the full cost.
- This isn't to say that this isn't something that SHOULD be done. America always needed a European-style rail system. The problem is, we're way more spread out than they are and we value using our cars more.
- With our airlines unwilling/unable to reduce cost or reduce the pain-in-the-fucking-ass factor of using them being able to jump on a quick and reliable train might be nice.
- Reality is, there going to be too many hurdles for this to ever see light of day. Too many hands looking to dip into the honey pot. Too many groups wanting a say in how this gets done. It just won't happen.
I understand the Obama administration's desire to do this, and I applaud them for thinking big I truly do. The problem is, he wants to do some grand public works projects like they did back in the old days. Like building Hoover Dam or something. It's ambitious but this isn't the old days. Regulations are different. We don't get things done like we used to. Back in the day if we were trying to get a road built and a bunch of hippie fags came along and said we can't do it because we might harm mother earth, well we'd just kick those pussies in their fucking heads and build the fucking road. Now? We actually listen to these pricks.
oh and another reason this won't happen. money. The GOP will never give him that kind of money to burn. KIND of rightly so. Right for the reason of, they know damn well it's going to go up in smoke and we can't afford to burn money. Wrong for the reason of being vendictive assholes (which they've been doing with increasing frequency).
- it'll never actually get built. Between the logistics, the hassle of unions, the environmental groups that will be bitching up a storm, the different states and their laws and whatever.... it's never going to happen.
- if by some miracle they hurdle all that and actually DO build it. there's DEFINATELY no fucking way it gets done for the price he's quoting. If my years in government contracting taught me ANYTHING, it's that the first price agreed on is never the full cost.
- This isn't to say that this isn't something that SHOULD be done. America always needed a European-style rail system. The problem is, we're way more spread out than they are and we value using our cars more.
- With our airlines unwilling/unable to reduce cost or reduce the pain-in-the-fucking-ass factor of using them being able to jump on a quick and reliable train might be nice.
- Reality is, there going to be too many hurdles for this to ever see light of day. Too many hands looking to dip into the honey pot. Too many groups wanting a say in how this gets done. It just won't happen.
I understand the Obama administration's desire to do this, and I applaud them for thinking big I truly do. The problem is, he wants to do some grand public works projects like they did back in the old days. Like building Hoover Dam or something. It's ambitious but this isn't the old days. Regulations are different. We don't get things done like we used to. Back in the day if we were trying to get a road built and a bunch of hippie fags came along and said we can't do it because we might harm mother earth, well we'd just kick those pussies in their fucking heads and build the fucking road. Now? We actually listen to these pricks.
oh and another reason this won't happen. money. The GOP will never give him that kind of money to burn. KIND of rightly so. Right for the reason of, they know damn well it's going to go up in smoke and we can't afford to burn money. Wrong for the reason of being vendictive assholes (which they've been doing with increasing frequency).
Monday, February 07, 2011
I can haz lawsuit
This is sad.
no, not the bill itself, the fact that such a bill is even NEEDED is what's sad. It's really simple, if you spend your time shoveling greasy fast food in your mouth like me, you end up a misarable fat blob of lard like me. You don't get to sue anyone. You just get fat.
Oh and don't give me that "but their advertising is so good...." you mean EFFECTIVE????? that's the point of it. Short of dragging you into the resturaunt and beating or kidnapping you and implanting a chip in your brain, they can do whatever it takes to make you want THEIR products.
no, not the bill itself, the fact that such a bill is even NEEDED is what's sad. It's really simple, if you spend your time shoveling greasy fast food in your mouth like me, you end up a misarable fat blob of lard like me. You don't get to sue anyone. You just get fat.
Oh and don't give me that "but their advertising is so good...." you mean EFFECTIVE????? that's the point of it. Short of dragging you into the resturaunt and beating or kidnapping you and implanting a chip in your brain, they can do whatever it takes to make you want THEIR products.
Friday, February 04, 2011
Cyber fail
Article on how the Obama administration is a bunch of tards when it comes to cyber security.
Not shocking, but not really Obama's fault. It's always been that way and it always will due to the nature of how our government operates. See, in our government we tend to put people in charge who don't really know shit about that they're in charge of. The guy making the rules for cyber security probably couldn't even tell you what a flash drive is. The other problem is that these people have experts to help them but they aren't interesting in listening to them. EVER. They decisions they make are based on what they can make it look like they're doing rather than actually getting something done.
When the government appoints an actual nerd with geek cred in charge of cyber security instead of some suit, i'll believe they're serious about it.
Not shocking, but not really Obama's fault. It's always been that way and it always will due to the nature of how our government operates. See, in our government we tend to put people in charge who don't really know shit about that they're in charge of. The guy making the rules for cyber security probably couldn't even tell you what a flash drive is. The other problem is that these people have experts to help them but they aren't interesting in listening to them. EVER. They decisions they make are based on what they can make it look like they're doing rather than actually getting something done.
When the government appoints an actual nerd with geek cred in charge of cyber security instead of some suit, i'll believe they're serious about it.
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Think about it
So I was reading different stories on the Egypt thing and in a few comments I saw this quote from "V for Vendetta"
People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Now when you first see it and you think about the romantic notion of fighting the power that sounds like a damn good quote. Then I thought about it for a minute. Wait, the Government AFRAID of something? That's not good. A government is made up of people. People with the same weaknesses and reactions as the rest of us. (something i think most people forget nowadays). The government isn't some computer that makes a mental note of 'do not piss off the people'. If a government AKA the people running the show are afraid of everyone what do you think is going to happen? BAD SHIT. fear is never something you want to happen to someone in power. Fear tends to bring out bad, hasty, extreme decisions in people. Once again, NOT something you want the people who run the whole show to be expreiencing.
People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.
Now when you first see it and you think about the romantic notion of fighting the power that sounds like a damn good quote. Then I thought about it for a minute. Wait, the Government AFRAID of something? That's not good. A government is made up of people. People with the same weaknesses and reactions as the rest of us. (something i think most people forget nowadays). The government isn't some computer that makes a mental note of 'do not piss off the people'. If a government AKA the people running the show are afraid of everyone what do you think is going to happen? BAD SHIT. fear is never something you want to happen to someone in power. Fear tends to bring out bad, hasty, extreme decisions in people. Once again, NOT something you want the people who run the whole show to be expreiencing.
If god exists, he hates Jimmy Ballard: reason #too many to count
Kristen Stewart? Seriously?
Bad enough all our best comic book heros are being played by Brits, now we gotta give away key roles to shitty actresses?
Will I EVER see a fucking awesome Superman movie in my lifetime?????
UPDATE: bullet dodged.
UPDATE2: ok so if he doesn't hate me, he certainly hates comic book fans. i think the comic industry would be greatly served by a good Wonder Woman movie or tv show. Sadly, Hollywood decides "let's just totally fuck this up."
UPDATE3: why aren't American men being cast? well according to casting agents, because American men are a bunch of pussies. this of course begs the question, "well why do you assholes keep hiring pussies?" maybe if you fuckheads hired men who are real men and unashamed of it we wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of candyasses too meek to be convincing superheros.
Bad enough all our best comic book heros are being played by Brits, now we gotta give away key roles to shitty actresses?
Will I EVER see a fucking awesome Superman movie in my lifetime?????
UPDATE: bullet dodged.
UPDATE2: ok so if he doesn't hate me, he certainly hates comic book fans. i think the comic industry would be greatly served by a good Wonder Woman movie or tv show. Sadly, Hollywood decides "let's just totally fuck this up."
UPDATE3: why aren't American men being cast? well according to casting agents, because American men are a bunch of pussies. this of course begs the question, "well why do you assholes keep hiring pussies?" maybe if you fuckheads hired men who are real men and unashamed of it we wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of candyasses too meek to be convincing superheros.
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Gamer girl FTW
New world record for female gamer.
Stats on this girl D&D style.
Gamer chick +10
hot asian girl +5
really good at guitar hero +20
(the numbers don't mean anything i just wanted to make it look cool)
so yeah, hot asian girl gamer. i am officially in love.
Stats on this girl D&D style.
Gamer chick +10
hot asian girl +5
really good at guitar hero +20
(the numbers don't mean anything i just wanted to make it look cool)
so yeah, hot asian girl gamer. i am officially in love.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Obamacare
Obamacare is awesome. It's so damn awesome that Obama thinks they're going to run out of it when it launches and being the great unselfish humanitarian that he is, he's going to make sure that you and I get plenty of it. He's even managed to convinced his good friends and massive campaign donors to be selfless and let us have their Obamacare.
Oh wait.....
No that's not it. Obamacare is a big piece of shit and he's making sure his buddies are shielded from it. I mean seriously, do you really need any more proof? I mean if i walked into a bar and announced that i've come up with a drink that puts every other alcohol to shame.... oh but me and my buddies won't be having any. Anyone else going to be a little bit "wait if it's so fucking great...."????
Oh wait.....
No that's not it. Obamacare is a big piece of shit and he's making sure his buddies are shielded from it. I mean seriously, do you really need any more proof? I mean if i walked into a bar and announced that i've come up with a drink that puts every other alcohol to shame.... oh but me and my buddies won't be having any. Anyone else going to be a little bit "wait if it's so fucking great...."????
Friday, January 28, 2011
Unleashed
Don't ever let me win the lottery.
We were all chatting at work the other day on what kind of spending orgies we'd embark on if we found ourselves overnight millionaires. I gotta say, I don't think i'd go on a spending binge. Here's my listing of things i'd do.
- take care of people. specifically my family and friends. family, i would set aside a chunk and give it to my parents and have them dole it out since i trust them to know who REALLY needs it. i'd also have them tell everyone they give it to "this is all you get. do not come back later asking for more cuz you ain't getting it. this is free money you didn't have to do anything to get so be grateful and don't push your luck." Dad will probably have to be the one to say it since my mom is too nice to say something like that. Friends, they'd get a little somethin-somethin thrown at them. Jimmy Ballard looks out for people he likes.
- Car. a given. I'm getting my Camaro back and she'll be supercharged to like 900 Horsepower. I'd rent Texas Motor Speedway for a day after i did and spend all day driving 200 MPH.
- Investments. I'd have to find an expert on this. One would think real estate but the way the housing market is going, who knows.
- Businesses. My dreams of opening gaming centers, and a bar will come true. The gaming center would be a giant warehouse converted to contain tons and tons of PC/console gaming stations. We'd have a membership program that has to be opened by a parent. Maybe run some kind of after school program with tutors to help kids with schoolwork. Shoehorn in a snack bar, repair shop, and a store that builds custom rigs. The bar would be something that blends the coziness of an Irish pub with the party-ness of a sports bar. There will be guitar hero contests. There's going to be karaoke with the conditions that staff members will carry paintball guns that will be used if you suck. Wet T-shirt contests. Beerfest night. and most importantly, the rant stage. A microphone on a platform in which a person will, after buying a shot or a pitcher or something, will be granted a certain amount of time to get up and go off on whatever the hell they want that's bothering them. Anyone who doesn't like what's being said can feel free to buy a drink and go on after. We'll keep security on hand and lay down a few common sense rules to keep it somewhat civil. Tell me this wouldn't get better the more drunk people got.
- Entertainment. I'd spend the next few years getting part time jobs and seeing what I can do to get fired. If you sit at your job and think "boy i wish i could tell this customer this" or "I would totally do this if it wouldn't get me fired" well i'd be doing it. I'd work at McDonalds and laugh at the fat chicks who order diet drinks. things like that.
Things I wouldn't do.
- buy a huge mansion. what the hell do i need all that space for? I'd rather buy an apartment complex and take over connected apartments for myself.
- looking fancy. i'm still dressing in jeans and tshirts. i'm not wearing $1000 shirts or anything that stupid.
- Marriage. nope. not that i was before but now i'm REALLY not getting hitched. in fact one of my first things i'm doing would be getting myself snipped to make sure some bitch doesn't try and pull the old "i'm on birth control baby" bit.
- give to charity. i'm pretty sure word would get out on how rich I am so i'm sure the freeloaders will be lining up. it's real simple. you aren't getting money. i don't give a shit what kind of sob story you have. Oh and first person to ask for money on behalf of a church? I'm hiring someone to beat the shit out of you with a cross.
We were all chatting at work the other day on what kind of spending orgies we'd embark on if we found ourselves overnight millionaires. I gotta say, I don't think i'd go on a spending binge. Here's my listing of things i'd do.
- take care of people. specifically my family and friends. family, i would set aside a chunk and give it to my parents and have them dole it out since i trust them to know who REALLY needs it. i'd also have them tell everyone they give it to "this is all you get. do not come back later asking for more cuz you ain't getting it. this is free money you didn't have to do anything to get so be grateful and don't push your luck." Dad will probably have to be the one to say it since my mom is too nice to say something like that. Friends, they'd get a little somethin-somethin thrown at them. Jimmy Ballard looks out for people he likes.
- Car. a given. I'm getting my Camaro back and she'll be supercharged to like 900 Horsepower. I'd rent Texas Motor Speedway for a day after i did and spend all day driving 200 MPH.
- Investments. I'd have to find an expert on this. One would think real estate but the way the housing market is going, who knows.
- Businesses. My dreams of opening gaming centers, and a bar will come true. The gaming center would be a giant warehouse converted to contain tons and tons of PC/console gaming stations. We'd have a membership program that has to be opened by a parent. Maybe run some kind of after school program with tutors to help kids with schoolwork. Shoehorn in a snack bar, repair shop, and a store that builds custom rigs. The bar would be something that blends the coziness of an Irish pub with the party-ness of a sports bar. There will be guitar hero contests. There's going to be karaoke with the conditions that staff members will carry paintball guns that will be used if you suck. Wet T-shirt contests. Beerfest night. and most importantly, the rant stage. A microphone on a platform in which a person will, after buying a shot or a pitcher or something, will be granted a certain amount of time to get up and go off on whatever the hell they want that's bothering them. Anyone who doesn't like what's being said can feel free to buy a drink and go on after. We'll keep security on hand and lay down a few common sense rules to keep it somewhat civil. Tell me this wouldn't get better the more drunk people got.
- Entertainment. I'd spend the next few years getting part time jobs and seeing what I can do to get fired. If you sit at your job and think "boy i wish i could tell this customer this" or "I would totally do this if it wouldn't get me fired" well i'd be doing it. I'd work at McDonalds and laugh at the fat chicks who order diet drinks. things like that.
Things I wouldn't do.
- buy a huge mansion. what the hell do i need all that space for? I'd rather buy an apartment complex and take over connected apartments for myself.
- looking fancy. i'm still dressing in jeans and tshirts. i'm not wearing $1000 shirts or anything that stupid.
- Marriage. nope. not that i was before but now i'm REALLY not getting hitched. in fact one of my first things i'm doing would be getting myself snipped to make sure some bitch doesn't try and pull the old "i'm on birth control baby" bit.
- give to charity. i'm pretty sure word would get out on how rich I am so i'm sure the freeloaders will be lining up. it's real simple. you aren't getting money. i don't give a shit what kind of sob story you have. Oh and first person to ask for money on behalf of a church? I'm hiring someone to beat the shit out of you with a cross.
Google no like torrent
Well it's comforting to know that Google is taking a stand and not helping someone run a search on how to bittorrent.
HOWEVER
they couldn't be bothered to not help people search for ways to kidnap children, make bombs, threaten the President, or cheat on taxes.
epic fail.
HOWEVER
they couldn't be bothered to not help people search for ways to kidnap children, make bombs, threaten the President, or cheat on taxes.
epic fail.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Prison security
So, to hell with shanks and smuggling drugs in your ass. The newest threat to prison security.... drum roll please....
Dungeons and Dragons
I wish I were kidding.
There, an expert on prison gangs argued not only that having a Dungeon Master issue direction to other players “mimics the organization of a gang”, but that the game encourages players to become obsessed with mentally escaping the restrictions of prison life, which could threaten “the safety and security of the institution.”
Funny, that guy just described my JOB. Only I didn't have to stab someone to get here and the anal rapings are a little less frequent.
Dungeons and Dragons
I wish I were kidding.
There, an expert on prison gangs argued not only that having a Dungeon Master issue direction to other players “mimics the organization of a gang”, but that the game encourages players to become obsessed with mentally escaping the restrictions of prison life, which could threaten “the safety and security of the institution.”
Funny, that guy just described my JOB. Only I didn't have to stab someone to get here and the anal rapings are a little less frequent.
Border fun
Another example of the Border Patrol harassing a poor mexican just trying for a better life.
NOT
it's a radical Islam cleric trying to get into our country to wreck shit. Attention all advocates for open borders... go fuck yourself.
NOT
it's a radical Islam cleric trying to get into our country to wreck shit. Attention all advocates for open borders... go fuck yourself.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Mono-D'OH!!!
I agree with instapundit.... screw the high speed rail, we need a monorail. I got dibbs on being Nimoy.
Blame game
Forget Call of Duty, the hottest selling franchise in the last decade is the Blame Game. This is a game that is enjoyed by everyone. Imagine that, a game that has no target audience. Literally everyone out there is a consumer. Some people play the game casually, and then there's some people who play the game to the level of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman in the World of Warcraft episode of South Park.
Anyways, the newest release from the blame game franchise is called Russian Airport attack.
Anyways, the newest release from the blame game franchise is called Russian Airport attack.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
They don't get it
So GLAAD is protesting South Park's latest episode "The F word" dealing with Harley riders and the word FAG. I guess they're mad that they're still getting getting called a bunch of fags and that we aren't out on the streets crying our eyes out that they're still being called fags. The problem is, they must not have watched the episode or, they were in the next room butt-fucking during an important part.
This is a slur whose meaning remains rooted in homophobia.
No you fag, it isn't. If you had been paying attention to the part where the Harley riders are researching the word fag in the library you'll find the word has predated your little culture you're trying to create and it's been used to slander the poor and old ladies. THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING EPISODE. Words change meaning. Christ, even in your own fucking organization name. GAY used to mean (and we're not talking like hundreds of years ago more like 50 or 60) happy. So, chalk this episode as lost to this retarded group and let me finish with a few points.
- We all user words out of meaning all the time. To me, calling someone/something retarded is an all the fucking time occurrence. I'm not calling people mentally handicapped i'm calling them stupid. No i don't see a problem and no i won't stop. I know that it isn't my intention to insult mentally challenged people. End of story. Everyone else with a problem can go fuck yourself.
- Does anyone else see the hysterical irony of a group of people who stole the word gay (they did, let's be honest. gay will never mean happy again) getting mad over a show trying to "steal" their insult? that's our word for making fun of you, we need it!!!
- yes, i'm being intentionally over-insulting towards gays. satire.
Cuddle? What a fag!!
This is a slur whose meaning remains rooted in homophobia.
No you fag, it isn't. If you had been paying attention to the part where the Harley riders are researching the word fag in the library you'll find the word has predated your little culture you're trying to create and it's been used to slander the poor and old ladies. THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING EPISODE. Words change meaning. Christ, even in your own fucking organization name. GAY used to mean (and we're not talking like hundreds of years ago more like 50 or 60) happy. So, chalk this episode as lost to this retarded group and let me finish with a few points.
- We all user words out of meaning all the time. To me, calling someone/something retarded is an all the fucking time occurrence. I'm not calling people mentally handicapped i'm calling them stupid. No i don't see a problem and no i won't stop. I know that it isn't my intention to insult mentally challenged people. End of story. Everyone else with a problem can go fuck yourself.
- Does anyone else see the hysterical irony of a group of people who stole the word gay (they did, let's be honest. gay will never mean happy again) getting mad over a show trying to "steal" their insult? that's our word for making fun of you, we need it!!!
- yes, i'm being intentionally over-insulting towards gays. satire.
Cuddle? What a fag!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Obama Nixon
Seriously, with all the Obama Nixon comparisons being drawn lately when it comes to Obama and the White House going after Fox News, how long till we see Obama getting handed an honorary degree by a pig?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Single moms ad
You know, that ad on facebook to meet single moms is misleading. I click thinking "hell yeah, meet some disgruntled mom who wants to release all that sexual frustration in an evening where she's free of the kids and free to make herself feel like that young gal who was out partying her butt off before she got married and had kids and found her husband off with some other woman and now she harbors that resentment and she wants to find some sucker of a man to rock his world and make him her love slave by over-sexing him and then crushing his soul, but she doesn't realize i'm wise to her ploy and that i keep MY soul in a coffee tin in a safety deposit box. Over-sex all you like missy, it won't work."
Only when i click the ad it goes to the home page and says "click here to meet other single parents". what a sec, OTHER??? you mean i have to have my own kid to get in on this? what a gyp!!!
I need to see if there's a site for hot chicks looking to act like total whores only if you promise to still respect them in the morning. I won't but, ya know, I can totally say i will and make it sound convincing.
Only when i click the ad it goes to the home page and says "click here to meet other single parents". what a sec, OTHER??? you mean i have to have my own kid to get in on this? what a gyp!!!
I need to see if there's a site for hot chicks looking to act like total whores only if you promise to still respect them in the morning. I won't but, ya know, I can totally say i will and make it sound convincing.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Doc talks
Doctor has his say
I think it's interesting that this issue has gone completely untouched. The left screams about how unfair it is the poor aren't getting free shit. The right screams that the Nazis are coming to take away their freedom. NOBODY is talking about how the medical community is overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, and the ones who are going to have to bear the REAL brunt of this all, no matter who wins.
I think it's interesting that this issue has gone completely untouched. The left screams about how unfair it is the poor aren't getting free shit. The right screams that the Nazis are coming to take away their freedom. NOBODY is talking about how the medical community is overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, and the ones who are going to have to bear the REAL brunt of this all, no matter who wins.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
District 9
Color me unimpressed. Everything I read about this movie said it was "groundbreaking" and "original" and other gushing reviews. There was nothing groundbreaking about it.
- Evil Corporation run by old white men willing to kill whoever they need to for money and power. WOW, I'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN THAT BEFORE. EVER. YOU ARE THE FIRST MOVIE TO SUGGEST OLD WHITE MEN WITH BRITISH ACCENTS COULD BE EVIL ON SCREEN.
- Corporation/Government who wants to exploit/dissect/capture aliens to experiment on them or steal their weapon technology. Nope, never fucking seen that either. Totally original. E.T.??? never heard of that movie.
- Crazy/ruthless African warlord. No fucking way.... those guys have always been portrayed as well-mannered gentlemen in movies.
- White mercenary who loves killing black people... I mean minorities... I mean aliens. gosh, don't know how I got that mixed up.
- Super-smart child saves the day. HOLY SHIT, how does this movie keep throwing these totally original concepts at us???? Before I saw this movie I never would have believed a child could save the day.
Don't get me wrong, the movie was good. Not great. Certainly not the best of the year. Not even close to the best sci-fi movie. But it was good. The end was action-packed and cool. I just fail to see where all this praise is coming from.
- Evil Corporation run by old white men willing to kill whoever they need to for money and power. WOW, I'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN THAT BEFORE. EVER. YOU ARE THE FIRST MOVIE TO SUGGEST OLD WHITE MEN WITH BRITISH ACCENTS COULD BE EVIL ON SCREEN.
- Corporation/Government who wants to exploit/dissect/capture aliens to experiment on them or steal their weapon technology. Nope, never fucking seen that either. Totally original. E.T.??? never heard of that movie.
- Crazy/ruthless African warlord. No fucking way.... those guys have always been portrayed as well-mannered gentlemen in movies.
- White mercenary who loves killing black people... I mean minorities... I mean aliens. gosh, don't know how I got that mixed up.
- Super-smart child saves the day. HOLY SHIT, how does this movie keep throwing these totally original concepts at us???? Before I saw this movie I never would have believed a child could save the day.
Don't get me wrong, the movie was good. Not great. Certainly not the best of the year. Not even close to the best sci-fi movie. But it was good. The end was action-packed and cool. I just fail to see where all this praise is coming from.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Star Wars
Interesting article on how to reboot star wars or basically give it the same treatment Star Trek just got. If it makes a new Star Wars film that's as badass as the Star Trek one was, I'm game.
Recently I was showing Joe (my roommate and coworker) the trailer for the new Star Wars MMORPG. It was a bitchin CGI movie with some awesome fighting going on and Joe said, "why couldn't they have put this kind of stuff in the movies?" I agree. Here's some points i'd like to make about do/do not for a reboot.
- make some fucking awesome lightsaber fights. you don't have to go far to see what I'm talking about. check out the cut scenes and fight scenes of the game "Force Unleashed". Go look at some fan made movies. They're all a million times better than the anything in the movies.
- let the force-users USE THE FORCE. don't let it be limited to just a choke here or lighting blast there. Once again, go check out "force unleashed" and see how awesome it is when you got a jedi/sith always using the force to unleash cases of whoopass.
- don't be afraid to use multiple directors. bring in a guy who does good drama for the drama scenes. bring in someone who does good action for the action scenes. you explain to these assholes that working on Star Wars is a privilege and that they are there to do a specific job. explain they better not expect any oscars. want a suggestion on fresh blood? Try Shinichiro Watanabe. Go watch the anime series Cowboy Bebop or Macross Plus and you'll see some awesome action. Space battles and other cool stuff.
- Changes without pandering. No making any main characters Black or Gay simply to pander to the people who felt there wasn't enough of either in the originals. Screw them. You got Lando and you got C3P0 there you got Black and Gay. leave it alone. Like the article said, don't be afraid to make some changes. Make Han a bigger jerk in the beginning. Make Leia a pilot or even make her a jedi in secret. Obviously the shock value of the Skywalker bloodline is not going to be there so why make it secret? Let Leia find her long lost brother and have them both train with Yoda. Make it so Yoda tells them that when found each other they have only then will training they receive.
Recently I was showing Joe (my roommate and coworker) the trailer for the new Star Wars MMORPG. It was a bitchin CGI movie with some awesome fighting going on and Joe said, "why couldn't they have put this kind of stuff in the movies?" I agree. Here's some points i'd like to make about do/do not for a reboot.
- make some fucking awesome lightsaber fights. you don't have to go far to see what I'm talking about. check out the cut scenes and fight scenes of the game "Force Unleashed". Go look at some fan made movies. They're all a million times better than the anything in the movies.
- let the force-users USE THE FORCE. don't let it be limited to just a choke here or lighting blast there. Once again, go check out "force unleashed" and see how awesome it is when you got a jedi/sith always using the force to unleash cases of whoopass.
- don't be afraid to use multiple directors. bring in a guy who does good drama for the drama scenes. bring in someone who does good action for the action scenes. you explain to these assholes that working on Star Wars is a privilege and that they are there to do a specific job. explain they better not expect any oscars. want a suggestion on fresh blood? Try Shinichiro Watanabe. Go watch the anime series Cowboy Bebop or Macross Plus and you'll see some awesome action. Space battles and other cool stuff.
- Changes without pandering. No making any main characters Black or Gay simply to pander to the people who felt there wasn't enough of either in the originals. Screw them. You got Lando and you got C3P0 there you got Black and Gay. leave it alone. Like the article said, don't be afraid to make some changes. Make Han a bigger jerk in the beginning. Make Leia a pilot or even make her a jedi in secret. Obviously the shock value of the Skywalker bloodline is not going to be there so why make it secret? Let Leia find her long lost brother and have them both train with Yoda. Make it so Yoda tells them that when found each other they have only then will training they receive.
Monday, May 04, 2009
screw them
So New Orleans doesn't like Ray Nagin. boo fucking hoo.
They elected that incompetent racist fuck, they deserve everything they get.
They elected that incompetent racist fuck, they deserve everything they get.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Amen brother
The best and worst thing that can ever happen to something you like is for it to become marketable. I say this as a former-NASCAR fan and a current gamer.
This comic spells it out nicely.
This comic spells it out nicely.
Dumpster
Couple caught having sex in dumpster.
I wish i could say this was an odd story to hear, but i heard about this kind of thing happening before when i was in Basic Training.
granted.... key word here is "heard". I also heard they were putting stuff in the food so we wouldn't get erections.
I wish i could say this was an odd story to hear, but i heard about this kind of thing happening before when i was in Basic Training.
granted.... key word here is "heard". I also heard they were putting stuff in the food so we wouldn't get erections.
Monday, April 20, 2009
state of NASCAR
I sent Roger, the man who lived and breathed Earnhardt and who was the one who got me into NASCAR, an article on how the #8 car is gone.
His reply: NASCAR is finished. Period.
He says he hasn't even watched since Daytona. He's not even sure if he'll watch Dega. OK, to me that just says that NASCAR has hit a low from which it probably won't recover. When your core old-school fans say stuff like that, you fucked up.
NASCAR, if you're reading this.... swallow your pride and find some way for Dale JR to "mysteriously" start having a banner year and win a championship. Cuz that's the only thing that'll save the sport. You might have trouble looking yourself in the mirror for a while, but i'm telling you another Championship by Jimmie Johnson or if Kyle Busch gets one before Jr..... bye bye.
His reply: NASCAR is finished. Period.
He says he hasn't even watched since Daytona. He's not even sure if he'll watch Dega. OK, to me that just says that NASCAR has hit a low from which it probably won't recover. When your core old-school fans say stuff like that, you fucked up.
NASCAR, if you're reading this.... swallow your pride and find some way for Dale JR to "mysteriously" start having a banner year and win a championship. Cuz that's the only thing that'll save the sport. You might have trouble looking yourself in the mirror for a while, but i'm telling you another Championship by Jimmie Johnson or if Kyle Busch gets one before Jr..... bye bye.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
fantasy update apr 13
Ok here's the league standings. no big updates. apparently Robbie gave me a gift by not picking up Cabrera. he knows baseball i don't so i'll just thank him and move on.
(click to enlarge)
(click to enlarge)
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
For Baizbol
I'm going to start giving updates on my fantasy baseball league.
Yes, i'm so addicted to fantasy sports i play one on a sport i don't even like. i get these daily emails telling me my team stats and the league updates. FUnny thing is, i don't even know most of the stats and what they mean. So basically, if i win this league, guys like Robbie who love and follow the sport have every right be pissed. Robbie has my permission to spit on the money before he hands it to me.
Anyways, here is the current standings 2 days into the season.
My team is the Baghdad Bombers.
LEAGUE STANDINGS
TEAM POINTS CHANGE
Memphis Mudbugs 113.5 -8.0
Boats and Hoes 107.5 -6.0
Denton B Nasty 107.0 -3.0
N'Djamena Hanging Chads 100.0 51.0
Baghdad Bombers 83.5 13.0
SPURS SUCK 83.5 0.5
Wound Splitter 81.0 -10.5
Arlington A-Holes 76.5 -2.0
Team Edison 75.5 5.0
Ninja Turtles 73.0 7.5
Team ShakeN'Bake 68.5 0.0
Team Adams 68.0 3.0
Macho Men 58.5 -23.0
Tom Emanski All-Stars 52.0 -38.0
Cowtown Crushers 52.0 10.5
Yes, i'm so addicted to fantasy sports i play one on a sport i don't even like. i get these daily emails telling me my team stats and the league updates. FUnny thing is, i don't even know most of the stats and what they mean. So basically, if i win this league, guys like Robbie who love and follow the sport have every right be pissed. Robbie has my permission to spit on the money before he hands it to me.
Anyways, here is the current standings 2 days into the season.
My team is the Baghdad Bombers.
LEAGUE STANDINGS
TEAM POINTS CHANGE
Memphis Mudbugs 113.5 -8.0
Boats and Hoes 107.5 -6.0
Denton B Nasty 107.0 -3.0
N'Djamena Hanging Chads 100.0 51.0
Baghdad Bombers 83.5 13.0
SPURS SUCK 83.5 0.5
Wound Splitter 81.0 -10.5
Arlington A-Holes 76.5 -2.0
Team Edison 75.5 5.0
Ninja Turtles 73.0 7.5
Team ShakeN'Bake 68.5 0.0
Team Adams 68.0 3.0
Macho Men 58.5 -23.0
Tom Emanski All-Stars 52.0 -38.0
Cowtown Crushers 52.0 10.5
selling his soul
It isn't often that you get to actively watch someone sell their soul, but i think that's what we're all getting a front-row seat for in the case of Seth McFarland. Family has basically decided to follow the Simpsons and go from insanely hilarious to funny, but with a LOT of Liberal preaching. Mark my words, it won't be long till it turns not even funny but still preachy. I dunno if Seth just figured if Matt can sell his soul and get 20 years out of his show maybe it'll work for him.
So pretty soon we'll be watching the single-digit seasons and saying "remember when Family Guy was funny?"
So pretty soon we'll be watching the single-digit seasons and saying "remember when Family Guy was funny?"
Saturday, April 04, 2009
It's worse than you think
I told you the bill on cybersecurity was nothing but trouble.
now we have some details....
The bill would also impose mandates for designated private networks and systems, including standardized security software, testing, licensing and certification of cyber-security professionals.
so, a company no longer gets to determine what security works for them and is most cost-effective to their budget needs. nope. the government in their infinite wisdom will tell private companies what is the "best" security. anyone wanna place some bets on if it's really going to be the best or if it'll just be the lowest bidder? As someone who both worked in the IT business for the government AND did purchasing for the government i'm here to tell you that if we let the government figure out the best security to use..... we're fucked.
The legislation also calls for a public-private clearinghouse for cyber-threats and vulnerability information under Department of Commerce authority. The Secretary of Commerce would have the authority to access "all relevant data concerning such networks without regard to any provision of law, regulation, rule or policy restricting such access."
if this was suggested during the Bush administration, the cries of "fascism" would be dwarfed only by the blood shooting out of the eyes of liberal bloggers.
Hope and Change.
now we have some details....
The bill would also impose mandates for designated private networks and systems, including standardized security software, testing, licensing and certification of cyber-security professionals.
so, a company no longer gets to determine what security works for them and is most cost-effective to their budget needs. nope. the government in their infinite wisdom will tell private companies what is the "best" security. anyone wanna place some bets on if it's really going to be the best or if it'll just be the lowest bidder? As someone who both worked in the IT business for the government AND did purchasing for the government i'm here to tell you that if we let the government figure out the best security to use..... we're fucked.
The legislation also calls for a public-private clearinghouse for cyber-threats and vulnerability information under Department of Commerce authority. The Secretary of Commerce would have the authority to access "all relevant data concerning such networks without regard to any provision of law, regulation, rule or policy restricting such access."
if this was suggested during the Bush administration, the cries of "fascism" would be dwarfed only by the blood shooting out of the eyes of liberal bloggers.
Hope and Change.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Cybersecurity
Maybe i'm panicked because i'm in the business so i see the problem a bit more clearly than the average person, and maybe i'm just seeing danger where little to none exists, but either way this idea scares the shit out of me.
Bill proposed to federalize cybersecurity
Here's why it should scare you too.
- you think it's bad that your employer cuts access to certain sites or online things? This means the GOVERNMENT will decide what you can do online.
- anyone who thinks this is a good idea has obviously never worked for the government. They block access to EVERYTHING in the name of "security". Blocking in the name of security is usually like making laws and saying "it's for the children". nobody ever challenges it and you get away with anything you want.
- innovation is gone. social websites like facebook and myspace, blocked. companies wanting to create new online things will have to jump thru insane government hoops to get the "OK" to be cleared for the public to use them.
- as i've said repeatedly when it came to health care..... nothing the government runs works!!!!! The DMV, Airport Security, The Post Office..... it all runs like shit. you wanna hand the reigns of our cyber future to THOSE clowns?
Bill proposed to federalize cybersecurity
Here's why it should scare you too.
- you think it's bad that your employer cuts access to certain sites or online things? This means the GOVERNMENT will decide what you can do online.
- anyone who thinks this is a good idea has obviously never worked for the government. They block access to EVERYTHING in the name of "security". Blocking in the name of security is usually like making laws and saying "it's for the children". nobody ever challenges it and you get away with anything you want.
- innovation is gone. social websites like facebook and myspace, blocked. companies wanting to create new online things will have to jump thru insane government hoops to get the "OK" to be cleared for the public to use them.
- as i've said repeatedly when it came to health care..... nothing the government runs works!!!!! The DMV, Airport Security, The Post Office..... it all runs like shit. you wanna hand the reigns of our cyber future to THOSE clowns?
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
wasting time
I hate to say it, but the longer i stay here the more convinced i am that we're just all wasting our time. These people just aren't ready to be come a functioning democracy and to climb out of the dark ages.
- society is still stuck about 100 years in the past. girls are getting married off as young 12 years old. there's even people marrying cousins. they're still very tribal around here.
- we gave these guys shiny loud toys and boy do they use them. the iraqi army and cops around here blare their damn sirens for ANYTHING. they drive around at top speed with horns blowing sirens on and lights flashing like a bunch of fucking 10 year old boys. AND THEY'RE ARMED!!!! these nimrods are getting into shootouts with each other over chest-thumping bullshit like traffic right-of-way. i mean seriously, could you imagine what the news would say if 2 police convoys in the US got in a fight over a traffic issue and starting exchanging gunfire in broad daylight in the middle of the street?
- the level of corruption in the government actually makes me look at the politicians in America and go "damn we got some clean cut people running the show back home"
- everyone lies to you. right to your damn face.
- i dunno if it's an Arab thing or what but everyone has this giant freaking sense of self-worth. when they want something they HAVE to have it NOW NOW NOW!!!! they all demand you do something for them and if you don't they pitch a fit like there's no tomorrow. yeah, i know we got those douchebags in the states too, but it seems like it's EVERYONE here.
maybe i just need a vacation or something but frankly i really don't see any reason to think i'm wrong on this.
- society is still stuck about 100 years in the past. girls are getting married off as young 12 years old. there's even people marrying cousins. they're still very tribal around here.
- we gave these guys shiny loud toys and boy do they use them. the iraqi army and cops around here blare their damn sirens for ANYTHING. they drive around at top speed with horns blowing sirens on and lights flashing like a bunch of fucking 10 year old boys. AND THEY'RE ARMED!!!! these nimrods are getting into shootouts with each other over chest-thumping bullshit like traffic right-of-way. i mean seriously, could you imagine what the news would say if 2 police convoys in the US got in a fight over a traffic issue and starting exchanging gunfire in broad daylight in the middle of the street?
- the level of corruption in the government actually makes me look at the politicians in America and go "damn we got some clean cut people running the show back home"
- everyone lies to you. right to your damn face.
- i dunno if it's an Arab thing or what but everyone has this giant freaking sense of self-worth. when they want something they HAVE to have it NOW NOW NOW!!!! they all demand you do something for them and if you don't they pitch a fit like there's no tomorrow. yeah, i know we got those douchebags in the states too, but it seems like it's EVERYONE here.
maybe i just need a vacation or something but frankly i really don't see any reason to think i'm wrong on this.
Weird
i had this weird dream last night. the only thing i remember from it was kissing some girl. a really nice long kiss too. but the weird part is that i can't picture her face. for the life of me i can't put a face to the chick.
i very rarely dream and it's even MORE rare that i remember anything from them.
i very rarely dream and it's even MORE rare that i remember anything from them.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
f the UN
So we're deadbeats?
The time is way way way past due for us to show the UN and the world just what we bring to the table. I say we pull all UN funding and kick those foreign bitches the fuck off our land. Let em try and do their bullshit "peacekeeping" missions without our military or financial backing. See how much shit they talk then.
The time is way way way past due for us to show the UN and the world just what we bring to the table. I say we pull all UN funding and kick those foreign bitches the fuck off our land. Let em try and do their bullshit "peacekeeping" missions without our military or financial backing. See how much shit they talk then.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Foreclosure map
Ok, so this map shows where all foreclosures are at. 35 counties account for 50% of the foreclosures. Specifically, 2 states.
Oh look, the leech-filled wasteland of California is leading the way. Adding to the moochfest is Florida. So basically if we can get Florida and California to drop off the map we might be good here.
Oh look, the leech-filled wasteland of California is leading the way. Adding to the moochfest is Florida. So basically if we can get Florida and California to drop off the map we might be good here.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
bad advice
Till i read this i never heard of Jack Cafferty. Thank god. what a fucking tool.
His CNN.com commentary with advice for the Republican party.
You can read it if you wanna, or i can save you the trouble and sum it up.
- feel guilt over Bush. I think Bush was bad so you need to feel guilty.
- you not good speaker like Obama.
- Rush Limbaugh bad.
- Obey Obama. obey....obey...obey.... no fight. fighting not make you team player. obey.... feel guilt over Bush and obey.....
Can somebody please put a bullet in this waste of space?
His CNN.com commentary with advice for the Republican party.
You can read it if you wanna, or i can save you the trouble and sum it up.
- feel guilt over Bush. I think Bush was bad so you need to feel guilty.
- you not good speaker like Obama.
- Rush Limbaugh bad.
- Obey Obama. obey....obey...obey.... no fight. fighting not make you team player. obey.... feel guilt over Bush and obey.....
Can somebody please put a bullet in this waste of space?
Saturday, March 07, 2009
drinking age
Something i found on Digg.
15 reasons the drinking age should be lowered to 18.
I agree with this. My only complaint on the list is that it's pretty much a padded list. (it reminds me of the George Carlin bit about how the ten commandments are a padded list) It really didn't need to be artificially inflated to 15. 2 good points will do.
1 - at 18 you can vote, join the military, rent an apartment, get married, and be tried as an adult. How exactly is buying alcohol something that requires 3 more years than any of these things?
2 - College alcohol deaths are pretty much directly the result of alcohol being labeled a "forbidden fruit". It's the reason for binge drinking.
I'm going to tell you all, the likelihood of the drinking age lowering is about as likely as Bush winning a Nobel Peace Prize. the horrifying truth is, there's a new attempt at prohibition going on in this country. See, the only thing is that this time they aren't going to be so direct about it. The first salvo was the banning of smoking in Bars. It's simple really, eliminate the ability of people to go to places that serve alcohol, less alcohol being consumed. The next step is going to be taxing the fuck out of it. Thanks to the weak economy, i'm guessing we're mere months until some asshole from MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving. An organization that started out with some good intentions but quickly devolved into a rabid dog intent on destroying drinking altogether.) telling Congress "we need to tighten our belts and I think that a heavy tax increase on alcohol will force people to get their priorities straight and not waste money on booze." Well let me just say FUCK MADD. If you're someone who lost a loved one to drunk driving and think I'm being unfair or insensitive.... tough shit. Blaming and punishing those of us who act responsibility for the thoughtless actions of others will earn you no sympathy here. I don't care how hurt you are. If that makes me an asshole, well it wouldn't be the first time.
15 reasons the drinking age should be lowered to 18.
I agree with this. My only complaint on the list is that it's pretty much a padded list. (it reminds me of the George Carlin bit about how the ten commandments are a padded list) It really didn't need to be artificially inflated to 15. 2 good points will do.
1 - at 18 you can vote, join the military, rent an apartment, get married, and be tried as an adult. How exactly is buying alcohol something that requires 3 more years than any of these things?
2 - College alcohol deaths are pretty much directly the result of alcohol being labeled a "forbidden fruit". It's the reason for binge drinking.
I'm going to tell you all, the likelihood of the drinking age lowering is about as likely as Bush winning a Nobel Peace Prize. the horrifying truth is, there's a new attempt at prohibition going on in this country. See, the only thing is that this time they aren't going to be so direct about it. The first salvo was the banning of smoking in Bars. It's simple really, eliminate the ability of people to go to places that serve alcohol, less alcohol being consumed. The next step is going to be taxing the fuck out of it. Thanks to the weak economy, i'm guessing we're mere months until some asshole from MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving. An organization that started out with some good intentions but quickly devolved into a rabid dog intent on destroying drinking altogether.) telling Congress "we need to tighten our belts and I think that a heavy tax increase on alcohol will force people to get their priorities straight and not waste money on booze." Well let me just say FUCK MADD. If you're someone who lost a loved one to drunk driving and think I'm being unfair or insensitive.... tough shit. Blaming and punishing those of us who act responsibility for the thoughtless actions of others will earn you no sympathy here. I don't care how hurt you are. If that makes me an asshole, well it wouldn't be the first time.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
ingrates
OK venting time.
I can deal with impatient people in my line of work. You fix PCs and you're used to people expecting you to wave a fucking wand and *poof* their problems away.
I can handle stupid people. Nobody ever backs their shit up until they've lost it once or twice. I'm used to people never learning from their mistakes and doing dumb shit.
What i can't fucking handle..... ungrateful motherfuckers. People who come *THIS* close to losing all their shit, having me bail their fucking asses out, and then have the fucking NERVE to get all pissy about losing a few hours of work time. KISS MY ASS all right, just kiss the fattest part of my ass.
Another thing i can't stand around here is people not understanding that the IT department isn't supposed to be busy. We're like the Fire Department. You don't want us working our asses off. If i'm busy.... SHIT IS FUCKED UP. You want me busy? Fine, I'll go break your shit and then "fix" it. Feel better now? Your internet is down 20% of the time, your monitor stops working, your computer is slow as all hell from excessive virus scans, you have to send an email for EVERY time you want to access a document on the share drive.
but i'm busy dammit. feel better.
I can deal with impatient people in my line of work. You fix PCs and you're used to people expecting you to wave a fucking wand and *poof* their problems away.
I can handle stupid people. Nobody ever backs their shit up until they've lost it once or twice. I'm used to people never learning from their mistakes and doing dumb shit.
What i can't fucking handle..... ungrateful motherfuckers. People who come *THIS* close to losing all their shit, having me bail their fucking asses out, and then have the fucking NERVE to get all pissy about losing a few hours of work time. KISS MY ASS all right, just kiss the fattest part of my ass.
Another thing i can't stand around here is people not understanding that the IT department isn't supposed to be busy. We're like the Fire Department. You don't want us working our asses off. If i'm busy.... SHIT IS FUCKED UP. You want me busy? Fine, I'll go break your shit and then "fix" it. Feel better now? Your internet is down 20% of the time, your monitor stops working, your computer is slow as all hell from excessive virus scans, you have to send an email for EVERY time you want to access a document on the share drive.
but i'm busy dammit. feel better.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Ronald
These are both disturbing as all hell and hilarious at the same time.
20 most terrifying Ronald McDonald pics
20 most terrifying Ronald McDonald pics
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Killer mad
New report showing anger kills.
[Irish Accent] I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert!!
[Irish Accent] I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
cut me some slack
i realize my last 3 posts were just stuff on cats. cut me some fucking slack, i have writer's block. ranter's block. whatever. the only thing i really wanna rant about is work stuff and on the off chance it gets viewed by someone who doesn't like what i'd say i'm going to refrain. i learned from friends that ranting under your own name can haunt you.
but if you must get a rant then here.
i fucking hate being healthy. well not so much BEING healthy as LIVING healthy. i remember now just why i used to drink nothing but Mountain Dew and Monster. I remember why i ate fast food, Hot Pockets, and Oreos. I remember why i sat on my ass and played games all day. I FUCKING MISS THAT SHIT. I'm tired of drinking water all the time. I'm tired of pissing 5000 times a day. I'm tired of the same 4 or 5 basic meals. I'm tired of watching someone down a soda in front of me and having to keep from punching them in the face.
you know what i hate more than all that? ME. i hate myself for letting it come to this. I hate myself for not having the foresight back when i decided to just say "fuck it" and thinking ahead about just how HARD it was going to be to bounce back when i finally decided to pull my head out of my ass and get back into shape.
I don't regret the "why" of how i let it come to this. I very rarely if ever regret taking the easy way out. I'm lazy. I accept it and can live with it. It was easy to just say "well, i'm never dating again so if i can live with how i look then why give extra effort into looking good?" i don't regret that. Scoring some ass is not my primary or even secondary reason for all this. I abandoned chicks as the motivation to do ANYTHING a long time ago and frankly it's one of the best decisions i ever made. The rest of you suckers can go make fools out of yourself just to try and score, but not me. Some lucky lady wants a piece of Mayor Jimmy? Cool. I'd be more than happy to engage in some heavy polling in the bedroom district. If she thinks i'm buying her drinks, pretending to give a shit about her problems, or sucking up to her for it.... not a chance.
Getting back to the rant..... I make a lot of stupid choices in life. In fact i've made so many i lost count. If i had to list a few i think 3 come to mind right away.
- Dropping out of the Academy. i got bullied out. plain and simple. i let a bunch of jocks and douchebags run me out of town. If i had to leave i'd rather have been thrown out for beating one or two of them into a coma.
- Quitting Rantville. i got paid to blog. and i threw it away. someone please come kick me in the fucking head.
- Not becoming THE MAYOR sooner. why couldn't i be like this in high school? what i wouldn't give to transplant the "fuck all of you!!! i'm Jimmy Ballard and if you don't like it then eat shit and die!!!!" into the high school guy i was.
So like every dumb thing i've done in the past, i'm paying for the lack of vision in letting my body go to hell. I'm clawing my way back to being in shape and it sucks. I can only blame one person though. I can man up to it. YOU COME TALK TO ME, I'M 32 I'M A MAN!!!!
A stubborn man, a stupid man, but it's who i am.
and just to keep with the recent posting theme. MORE CATS!!!!!
but if you must get a rant then here.
i fucking hate being healthy. well not so much BEING healthy as LIVING healthy. i remember now just why i used to drink nothing but Mountain Dew and Monster. I remember why i ate fast food, Hot Pockets, and Oreos. I remember why i sat on my ass and played games all day. I FUCKING MISS THAT SHIT. I'm tired of drinking water all the time. I'm tired of pissing 5000 times a day. I'm tired of the same 4 or 5 basic meals. I'm tired of watching someone down a soda in front of me and having to keep from punching them in the face.
you know what i hate more than all that? ME. i hate myself for letting it come to this. I hate myself for not having the foresight back when i decided to just say "fuck it" and thinking ahead about just how HARD it was going to be to bounce back when i finally decided to pull my head out of my ass and get back into shape.
I don't regret the "why" of how i let it come to this. I very rarely if ever regret taking the easy way out. I'm lazy. I accept it and can live with it. It was easy to just say "well, i'm never dating again so if i can live with how i look then why give extra effort into looking good?" i don't regret that. Scoring some ass is not my primary or even secondary reason for all this. I abandoned chicks as the motivation to do ANYTHING a long time ago and frankly it's one of the best decisions i ever made. The rest of you suckers can go make fools out of yourself just to try and score, but not me. Some lucky lady wants a piece of Mayor Jimmy? Cool. I'd be more than happy to engage in some heavy polling in the bedroom district. If she thinks i'm buying her drinks, pretending to give a shit about her problems, or sucking up to her for it.... not a chance.
Getting back to the rant..... I make a lot of stupid choices in life. In fact i've made so many i lost count. If i had to list a few i think 3 come to mind right away.
- Dropping out of the Academy. i got bullied out. plain and simple. i let a bunch of jocks and douchebags run me out of town. If i had to leave i'd rather have been thrown out for beating one or two of them into a coma.
- Quitting Rantville. i got paid to blog. and i threw it away. someone please come kick me in the fucking head.
- Not becoming THE MAYOR sooner. why couldn't i be like this in high school? what i wouldn't give to transplant the "fuck all of you!!! i'm Jimmy Ballard and if you don't like it then eat shit and die!!!!" into the high school guy i was.
So like every dumb thing i've done in the past, i'm paying for the lack of vision in letting my body go to hell. I'm clawing my way back to being in shape and it sucks. I can only blame one person though. I can man up to it. YOU COME TALK TO ME, I'M 32 I'M A MAN!!!!
A stubborn man, a stupid man, but it's who i am.
and just to keep with the recent posting theme. MORE CATS!!!!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Cat-vertising
The video game F.E.A.R. 2 is to be advertised.... on cats.
Combining black cats (the best kind) + little suits displaying the game title + showing them on Friday the 13th * the game being a FPS thriller = marketing creativity.
If had Kitty, Jack, or Serenity still i'd totally be down for this. I'm generally against any kind of pet clothing but advertising? hells yeah. i'm a capitalist pig baby.
Combining black cats (the best kind) + little suits displaying the game title + showing them on Friday the 13th * the game being a FPS thriller = marketing creativity.
If had Kitty, Jack, or Serenity still i'd totally be down for this. I'm generally against any kind of pet clothing but advertising? hells yeah. i'm a capitalist pig baby.
Monday, February 16, 2009
China
Badeaux does it again.
Another great article. This one is on China and how our foreign policy is taking us to a place we won't wanna be soon.
Another great article. This one is on China and how our foreign policy is taking us to a place we won't wanna be soon.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
weep for the future
I feel really bad for the future of Colorado. You're raising a state full of morons.
Students attempt to get high school name changed to Barrack Obama High School.
this shows 2 glaring facts
1 - these kids are idiots
2 - there is a clear lack of anything resembling a competent history teacher at that school.
it should be pretty fucking obvious why these kids are idiots. we aren't even a month into Obama's presidency. He put a tax cheat in charge of the IRS. wow, we're off to a rolling start aren't we?
the reason they lack a history teacher is that any good history teacher would have immediately gotten them together and said:
"OK so you think your school needs Obama's name. all right well first let me ask you all something. how many of you think George W Bush is a good president? (wait for boos from mindless MTV masses) well guess what, if i had asked you that on 1 October 2001, 90% of the country would have just bitched slapped the lot of you and told you to get the hell out of this country for booing the president. That was barely halfway into his FIRST term. Obama isn't even a MONTH into his. This school name you're about to ditch is over 130 years old. That's well over one century of history you're prepared to toss out the window for a FAD. Now pull your heads out of your asses and get to class."
Students attempt to get high school name changed to Barrack Obama High School.
this shows 2 glaring facts
1 - these kids are idiots
2 - there is a clear lack of anything resembling a competent history teacher at that school.
it should be pretty fucking obvious why these kids are idiots. we aren't even a month into Obama's presidency. He put a tax cheat in charge of the IRS. wow, we're off to a rolling start aren't we?
the reason they lack a history teacher is that any good history teacher would have immediately gotten them together and said:
"OK so you think your school needs Obama's name. all right well first let me ask you all something. how many of you think George W Bush is a good president? (wait for boos from mindless MTV masses) well guess what, if i had asked you that on 1 October 2001, 90% of the country would have just bitched slapped the lot of you and told you to get the hell out of this country for booing the president. That was barely halfway into his FIRST term. Obama isn't even a MONTH into his. This school name you're about to ditch is over 130 years old. That's well over one century of history you're prepared to toss out the window for a FAD. Now pull your heads out of your asses and get to class."
100 random questions
Something i found on facebook.
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
what closet?
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioners from hotels?
Nope
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in?
not since basic training
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
nope
5. Do you use post-it notes?
sometimes
6. Do you cut coupons but never use them?
nope
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
a bear, so i can say "i immediately regret this decision!!"
8. Do you have freckles?
i think i used to have light ones.
9. Do you always smile for pictures?
No
10. What's your biggest pet peeve?
stupid questions
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
nope
12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
does a bear shit in the woods?
13. Do you ever dance when there's no music playing?
nope
14. Do you chew your pens and pencils.
*nibble* *nibble*.... huh? sorry i was distracted
15. How many people have you slept with this week?
oh at least 50. yea right. NONE!!!!!
16. What size is your bed?
twin
17. What is your song of the week?
*shrug*
18. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Of course!
19. Do you still watch cartoons?
i will ALWAYS watch cartoons
20. What's your least favorite movie?
anything with julia roberts
21. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
in the BANK, don't let the black beard fool you. i'm not a pirate dammit
22. What do you drink with dinner.
water right now
23. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
katsup or honey or bbq sauce
24. What is your favorite food?
i dunno. i have a lot
25. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
war movies
26. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
honestly i don't know
27. Were you a boy/girl scout?
yup.
28. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine.
who the hell would WANT me to?
29. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
i think when i was stationed in Germany
30. Can you change the oil in a car?
yup
31. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
yes. fucking virginia state trooper nazis.
32. Ran out of gas?
came close a lot, but nope.
33. Favorite kind of sandwich?
bacon and lettuce on toasted sandwich bread
34. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
bacon bacon bacon!!!
35. What is your usual bedtime?
bout 10 or so lately
36. Are you lazy?
and surly!!!
37. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
mostly Superman or soldier. i went as a ghostbuster once
38. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Dragon
39. How many languages can you speak?
English
40. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not right now
41. Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?
Legos
42. Are you stubborn.
big time
43. Who is better, Leno or Letterman?
used to be Letterman early on, but he took a big turn into douche-ville a while ago
44. Ever watch soap operas?
does observing my coworkers here count?
45. Afraid of heights?
not really
46. Sing in the car?
if i do, i'm drunk
47. Dance in the shower?
i might slip and fall!!!
48. Dance in the car?
no
49. Ever used a gun?
lots. used to carry one in the Air Force
50. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
i dunno if it counts, but for my ID badge to get over here to Iraq
51. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
try idiotic
52. Is Christmas stressful?
Nah. I don't celebrate it.
53. Ever eat a pierogi?
a what?
54. Favorite type of fruit pie?
American as Apple Pie
55. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
fighter pilot
56. Do you believe in ghosts?
No
57. Ever have a deja vu feeling?
i feel stuck in a rut, stuck in a rut, stunk in a rut.....
58. Take a vitamin daily?
try to
59. Wear slippers.
nope
60. Wear a bath robe.
nope
61. What do you wear to bed?
Shorts
62. First concert?
Ozfest 1996. went with my cousin Mike right before i enlisted
63. Wal-mart, Target, or Kmart?
Target. better babes
64. Nike or Adidas?
Nike
65. Cheetos or Fritos?
fritos only if there's dip
66. Sunflower seeds or peanuts?
peanuts
67. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
no
68. Ever take dance lessons?
no
69. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
porn?
70. Can you curl your tongue?
Yes
71. Ever won a spelling bee?
only in my class in elementary school
72. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Came close when Dale Jr won the Pepsi 400 at Daytona in 2001.
73. Own any record albums?
No but my dad has a ton
74. Own a record player?
nope
75. Regularly burn incense?
nope
76. Ever been in love?
I wish i never was. nothing but trouble.
77. Who would you like to see in concert?
Metallica
78. What was the last concert you saw?
No Doubt. went with my ex Kristin since she was a big fan.
79. Hot tea, or cold?
depends on the situation.
80. Tea or coffee?
tea, can't stand coffee
81. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles?
Sugar cookies. the cookie dough mostly
82. Can you swim well?
sure can. used to be on a swim team when i lived in Turkey
83. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
who CAN'T???
84. Are you patient.
at times, but for the most part not really
85. At a wedding, DJ or live band?
DJ. some songs need to be done by the original artists
86. Ever won a contest?
i think so.
87. Ever had plastic surgery?
No
88. Black olives, or green?
neither. gross
89. Can you knit or crotchet?
nope
90. Best room for a fireplace?
Den
91. Do you want to get married?
nope
92. If you're married, how long since you said "I do?"
N/A
93. Who was your high school crush?
i dunno if i had one. no girl in particular comes to mind. i liked this one chick who lived nearby but when to another school, but mostly cuz she had huge jugs.
94. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your way?
not since i was like 5 or 6
95. Do you have kids?
None i know of
96. Do you want kids?
no no HELL no
97. What's your favorite color.
black
98. Do you miss anyone right now?
my siblings
99. Did you watch Next Great American Band on FOX?
hell no
100. Would you like other people to answer this survey?
go fer it!!
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
what closet?
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioners from hotels?
Nope
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in?
not since basic training
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
nope
5. Do you use post-it notes?
sometimes
6. Do you cut coupons but never use them?
nope
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
a bear, so i can say "i immediately regret this decision!!"
8. Do you have freckles?
i think i used to have light ones.
9. Do you always smile for pictures?
No
10. What's your biggest pet peeve?
stupid questions
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
nope
12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
does a bear shit in the woods?
13. Do you ever dance when there's no music playing?
nope
14. Do you chew your pens and pencils.
*nibble* *nibble*.... huh? sorry i was distracted
15. How many people have you slept with this week?
oh at least 50. yea right. NONE!!!!!
16. What size is your bed?
twin
17. What is your song of the week?
*shrug*
18. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Of course!
19. Do you still watch cartoons?
i will ALWAYS watch cartoons
20. What's your least favorite movie?
anything with julia roberts
21. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
in the BANK, don't let the black beard fool you. i'm not a pirate dammit
22. What do you drink with dinner.
water right now
23. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
katsup or honey or bbq sauce
24. What is your favorite food?
i dunno. i have a lot
25. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
war movies
26. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
honestly i don't know
27. Were you a boy/girl scout?
yup.
28. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine.
who the hell would WANT me to?
29. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
i think when i was stationed in Germany
30. Can you change the oil in a car?
yup
31. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
yes. fucking virginia state trooper nazis.
32. Ran out of gas?
came close a lot, but nope.
33. Favorite kind of sandwich?
bacon and lettuce on toasted sandwich bread
34. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
bacon bacon bacon!!!
35. What is your usual bedtime?
bout 10 or so lately
36. Are you lazy?
and surly!!!
37. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
mostly Superman or soldier. i went as a ghostbuster once
38. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Dragon
39. How many languages can you speak?
English
40. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Not right now
41. Which are better, legos or lincoln logs?
Legos
42. Are you stubborn.
big time
43. Who is better, Leno or Letterman?
used to be Letterman early on, but he took a big turn into douche-ville a while ago
44. Ever watch soap operas?
does observing my coworkers here count?
45. Afraid of heights?
not really
46. Sing in the car?
if i do, i'm drunk
47. Dance in the shower?
i might slip and fall!!!
48. Dance in the car?
no
49. Ever used a gun?
lots. used to carry one in the Air Force
50. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
i dunno if it counts, but for my ID badge to get over here to Iraq
51. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
try idiotic
52. Is Christmas stressful?
Nah. I don't celebrate it.
53. Ever eat a pierogi?
a what?
54. Favorite type of fruit pie?
American as Apple Pie
55. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
fighter pilot
56. Do you believe in ghosts?
No
57. Ever have a deja vu feeling?
i feel stuck in a rut, stuck in a rut, stunk in a rut.....
58. Take a vitamin daily?
try to
59. Wear slippers.
nope
60. Wear a bath robe.
nope
61. What do you wear to bed?
Shorts
62. First concert?
Ozfest 1996. went with my cousin Mike right before i enlisted
63. Wal-mart, Target, or Kmart?
Target. better babes
64. Nike or Adidas?
Nike
65. Cheetos or Fritos?
fritos only if there's dip
66. Sunflower seeds or peanuts?
peanuts
67. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
no
68. Ever take dance lessons?
no
69. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
porn?
70. Can you curl your tongue?
Yes
71. Ever won a spelling bee?
only in my class in elementary school
72. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Came close when Dale Jr won the Pepsi 400 at Daytona in 2001.
73. Own any record albums?
No but my dad has a ton
74. Own a record player?
nope
75. Regularly burn incense?
nope
76. Ever been in love?
I wish i never was. nothing but trouble.
77. Who would you like to see in concert?
Metallica
78. What was the last concert you saw?
No Doubt. went with my ex Kristin since she was a big fan.
79. Hot tea, or cold?
depends on the situation.
80. Tea or coffee?
tea, can't stand coffee
81. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles?
Sugar cookies. the cookie dough mostly
82. Can you swim well?
sure can. used to be on a swim team when i lived in Turkey
83. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
who CAN'T???
84. Are you patient.
at times, but for the most part not really
85. At a wedding, DJ or live band?
DJ. some songs need to be done by the original artists
86. Ever won a contest?
i think so.
87. Ever had plastic surgery?
No
88. Black olives, or green?
neither. gross
89. Can you knit or crotchet?
nope
90. Best room for a fireplace?
Den
91. Do you want to get married?
nope
92. If you're married, how long since you said "I do?"
N/A
93. Who was your high school crush?
i dunno if i had one. no girl in particular comes to mind. i liked this one chick who lived nearby but when to another school, but mostly cuz she had huge jugs.
94. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your way?
not since i was like 5 or 6
95. Do you have kids?
None i know of
96. Do you want kids?
no no HELL no
97. What's your favorite color.
black
98. Do you miss anyone right now?
my siblings
99. Did you watch Next Great American Band on FOX?
hell no
100. Would you like other people to answer this survey?
go fer it!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Turbaconducken
Ladies and Gentlemen, i present the greatest holiday dish i've ever seen.
The Turbaconducken
That's right, a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey ALL WRAPPED IN BACON.
awwwwww yeah.... boyeeeeee.....
The Turbaconducken
That's right, a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey ALL WRAPPED IN BACON.
awwwwww yeah.... boyeeeeee.....
Monday, February 09, 2009
A-Rod
Alrighty, so it looks like the A-Rod steroid story isn't going away any time soon.
here's what i have to contribute in the way of thoughts to this. my only question is, how will this affect his possible entrance in the hall of fame? Should it? you bet your ass it should. all i know is that if A-Rod gets in and Mark McGuire doesn't.... that's horseshit. His excuse is the same one as Mark's, "i was doing it back when it wasn't against the rules" and if it didn't work for Mark then there's no fucking way it should work for Gay-Rod.
If i'm missing something here or i'm totally out of line, someone please tell me.
here's what i have to contribute in the way of thoughts to this. my only question is, how will this affect his possible entrance in the hall of fame? Should it? you bet your ass it should. all i know is that if A-Rod gets in and Mark McGuire doesn't.... that's horseshit. His excuse is the same one as Mark's, "i was doing it back when it wasn't against the rules" and if it didn't work for Mark then there's no fucking way it should work for Gay-Rod.
If i'm missing something here or i'm totally out of line, someone please tell me.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Yay stimulus bill
Hope and change.... and a shitload of taxpayer's money down the fucking toilet.
Some examples:
- A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.
yeah, cuz those douchebags are DIRT POOR right?
- $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.
are we buying them solid gold desks?!?!?
- $160 million for "paid volunteers" at the Corporation for National and Community Service.
last time i checked "paid volunteers" are called EMPLOYEES.
Just remember, it is no longer patriotic to question or disobey your president. Now that Bush isn't around you are a bad bad person if you do not fall in line and show "bipartisanship".
Some examples:
- A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers to buy motion picture film.
yeah, cuz those douchebags are DIRT POOR right?
- $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters.
are we buying them solid gold desks?!?!?
- $160 million for "paid volunteers" at the Corporation for National and Community Service.
last time i checked "paid volunteers" are called EMPLOYEES.
Just remember, it is no longer patriotic to question or disobey your president. Now that Bush isn't around you are a bad bad person if you do not fall in line and show "bipartisanship".
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Get over it south
Alright seriously now..... WHAT THE HELL
What the frakking hell is wrong with you all you confederate flag waving yahoos? YOU LOST. GET OVER IT. You reminisce over an idea that came and went. You're pining an organization that had their asses handed to them. It's like being a 2002-2008 seasons Detroit Lions fan in the year 2100.
Someone please explain it to me.
What the frakking hell is wrong with you all you confederate flag waving yahoos? YOU LOST. GET OVER IT. You reminisce over an idea that came and went. You're pining an organization that had their asses handed to them. It's like being a 2002-2008 seasons Detroit Lions fan in the year 2100.
Someone please explain it to me.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Good reading
My best friend Chris Badeaux started a website with some friends and he's writing articles for it. The website is
newledger.com
here's a great example of his writing. This is an article on the foreign powers and the kind of danger we face now.
Chris is a masterful writer. I highly recommend it.
newledger.com
here's a great example of his writing. This is an article on the foreign powers and the kind of danger we face now.
Chris is a masterful writer. I highly recommend it.
Sheriff Douchebag
Congratulations Richland County on electing the biggest douchebag in town as your sheriff.
Maybe when he's done claiming 15 minutes of fame for wasting everyone's time with some bullshit charges against Phelps, he can go back to doing whatever he was doing. Cornholing drunks or whatever.
I hope he pulls over every one of you jerkwads for going 2 MPH over the speed limit and tickets you for jaywalking.
Maybe when he's done claiming 15 minutes of fame for wasting everyone's time with some bullshit charges against Phelps, he can go back to doing whatever he was doing. Cornholing drunks or whatever.
I hope he pulls over every one of you jerkwads for going 2 MPH over the speed limit and tickets you for jaywalking.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
So now where are they
So Kentucky is getting frozen over with people dying.
Where's FEMA?
Where's Obama?
Where's the press crucifying Obama for the slow response while people are dying?
Where's Kanye telling us Obama doesn't care about white people? (is there a "white" version of Kanye?)
Oh that's right, since it's a Demmy-crat in office it must be the people's fault this time. Not the government's. duh. stupid me.
Where's FEMA?
Where's Obama?
Where's the press crucifying Obama for the slow response while people are dying?
Where's Kanye telling us Obama doesn't care about white people? (is there a "white" version of Kanye?)
Oh that's right, since it's a Demmy-crat in office it must be the people's fault this time. Not the government's. duh. stupid me.
DOUBLE loser
Losing with dignity, not Federer's style. He's much more the "lose and cry like a girl with a skinned knee" type of guy. It's cool Roger, I hear chicks dig a sensitive man. Then again, so do a lot of other guys. The ones who prefer the company of other men.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
didn't need that
So in the gym at the palace they have some TVs in the cardio room. They play totally random movies. Well this morning when I went in there they had "Charlie Wilson's War" playing.
DUDE.... I'm trying to work out.... the last thing i need to see is TOM HANKS ASS!!!!
Come to think of it, I didn't need to see naked chicks either. Cardio and erections don't mix. You know it's bad when I'm averting my eyes from a TV showing boobs.
DUDE.... I'm trying to work out.... the last thing i need to see is TOM HANKS ASS!!!!
Come to think of it, I didn't need to see naked chicks either. Cardio and erections don't mix. You know it's bad when I'm averting my eyes from a TV showing boobs.
Friday, January 30, 2009
look dumber
I get media clips from my company in the email. this is one that i got.
i think the only way Robert Wood could come away from this looking dumber, was if he had a dunce cap on and his pants on backwards.
Excerpt From State Department Daily Press Briefing
Robert Wood/Acting Spokesman
January 29, 2009
QUESTION: About a month or two ago, there was an IG report that warned that Blackwater was likely going to lose its license to operate in Iraq. That has now happened. Considering that you guys have been aware of this impending decision for some time, I presume that contingency plans have been made. What are those? What are you going to do to protect your people?
MR. WOOD: Well, let me just say, first off, you know, contingency plans are obviously being looked at, but I think it was on January 23rd when the Ministry of Interior informed the Embassy in Baghdad that Blackwater’s applications for an operating license was not going to be approved. And so we’re going to encourage, of course, contractors working for us to comply with Iraqi law. We’re right now looking at the implications of this decision by the Iraqis for us. But let me just make clear that we will do everything necessary to make sure that our personnel have the security that they need.
QUESTION: Well, what do you mean you’re looking at the implications? Isn’t the implication that they can’t work there anymore and that you’re going to lose your main contractor?
MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re looking at, you know, the decision and we’re going to study and see what the implications will be, and then we’ll go forward.
QUESTION: I’m sorry, maybe I’m being dense here, but it seems to me that the obvious implication that you should already be aware of is that Blackwater can’t work in Iraq anymore.
MR. WOOD: I understand the decision. They were not granted an operating license
QUESTION: What more is there to look at?
MR. WOOD: Well, we have to study and see what we’re going to do next.
QUESTION: Right. Well, but you’ve been – this building has known for some time that this decision is coming down the pike, so –
MR. WOOD: Right, right, but we don’t have a decision ready to announce. We have to –
QUESTION: So Robert, who is protecting them today?
MR. WOOD: I’ll have to take a look at that. I’m not certain. I haven’t had a chance to look into that, but I’ll get the – we’ll get you something on that. I have to see who’s actually on the ground doing it. I’m just not sure at this point.
QUESTION: Do you intend to comply or do you intend to tell Blackwater to – if you’re going to – if you – you said you’re --
MR. WOOD: We have to comply with Iraqi law, period.
QUESTION: Exactly. So that means that you can’t – that your guys cannot use Blackwater as – for security guards, so -
MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re going to comply with the Iraqi decision. We have no choice but to do that. So we’re just right now trying to formulate how we’re going to go forward. But I just wanted to make clear that we’re going to do everything, you know, to make sure that our Embassy employees have the security they need.
QUESTION: How long do you have to comply? I mean, when does this take effect?
MR. WOOD: I don’t know, haven’t seen the details on that yet.
QUESTION: Wouldn’t you have decided how to go forward already since you knew it was coming?
MR. WOOD: Well, it’s not a question of knowing that it was coming. We wanted to make sure that we had a clear-cut response from the Iraqis, an official response. We have now – you know, we received that on January 23rd, as I said, and we’re looking at next steps. That’s about as much as I can give you at this point.
QUESTION: Would next steps be just, what, another contractor?
MR. WOOD: We’re looking at a variety of possibilities, but I’m not here to outline those possibilities at this point.
QUESTION: While you’re not here to outline the possibilities, wasn’t this contract part of the global contract where there were three that – companies that bid on the security? So couldn’t one of the other ones step in?
MR. WOOD: Well --
QUESTION: I mean, isn’t that the whole idea of having these massive contracts?
MR. WOOD: That’s a possibility, but we haven’t made a decision on how we’re going to go forward yet.
QUESTION: But you have two other contractors that are working in Iraq, DynCorp and Triple Canopy, right?
MR. WOOD: Right. That’s right.
QUESTION: So you could ostensibly just move Triple Canopy or DynCorp over, because you’ve done all the RFP work and other stuff, right?
MR. WOOD: Well, we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward yet, as I said. So I really don’t have any more to give you on that.
QUESTION: Is there a temporary security in place? I mean --
MR. WOOD: Like I said, I’m going to find out and get an answer to that question, because I’m not sure at this point.
QUESTION: It seems to be a bit irresponsible for the State Department not to have a backup plan and especially since you knew this was coming.
MR. WOOD: I did not say the State Department didn’t have a backup plan, but I said we’re looking at options and we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward.
QUESTION: Well, doesn’t it seem to be – I mean, wouldn’t it be appropriate to have had an idea in place so --
MR. WOOD: I’m not saying we don’t have ideas, you know.
QUESTION: Well, one that you were – had been approved and you were ready to go ahead with?
MR. WOOD: Matt, as I said, when we have something in terms of a way forward, we’ll certainly be happy to let you know. But at this point, we’re looking at our options, and that’s the prudent thing to do.
i think the only way Robert Wood could come away from this looking dumber, was if he had a dunce cap on and his pants on backwards.
Excerpt From State Department Daily Press Briefing
Robert Wood/Acting Spokesman
January 29, 2009
QUESTION: About a month or two ago, there was an IG report that warned that Blackwater was likely going to lose its license to operate in Iraq. That has now happened. Considering that you guys have been aware of this impending decision for some time, I presume that contingency plans have been made. What are those? What are you going to do to protect your people?
MR. WOOD: Well, let me just say, first off, you know, contingency plans are obviously being looked at, but I think it was on January 23rd when the Ministry of Interior informed the Embassy in Baghdad that Blackwater’s applications for an operating license was not going to be approved. And so we’re going to encourage, of course, contractors working for us to comply with Iraqi law. We’re right now looking at the implications of this decision by the Iraqis for us. But let me just make clear that we will do everything necessary to make sure that our personnel have the security that they need.
QUESTION: Well, what do you mean you’re looking at the implications? Isn’t the implication that they can’t work there anymore and that you’re going to lose your main contractor?
MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re looking at, you know, the decision and we’re going to study and see what the implications will be, and then we’ll go forward.
QUESTION: I’m sorry, maybe I’m being dense here, but it seems to me that the obvious implication that you should already be aware of is that Blackwater can’t work in Iraq anymore.
MR. WOOD: I understand the decision. They were not granted an operating license
QUESTION: What more is there to look at?
MR. WOOD: Well, we have to study and see what we’re going to do next.
QUESTION: Right. Well, but you’ve been – this building has known for some time that this decision is coming down the pike, so –
MR. WOOD: Right, right, but we don’t have a decision ready to announce. We have to –
QUESTION: So Robert, who is protecting them today?
MR. WOOD: I’ll have to take a look at that. I’m not certain. I haven’t had a chance to look into that, but I’ll get the – we’ll get you something on that. I have to see who’s actually on the ground doing it. I’m just not sure at this point.
QUESTION: Do you intend to comply or do you intend to tell Blackwater to – if you’re going to – if you – you said you’re --
MR. WOOD: We have to comply with Iraqi law, period.
QUESTION: Exactly. So that means that you can’t – that your guys cannot use Blackwater as – for security guards, so -
MR. WOOD: Well, again, we’re going to comply with the Iraqi decision. We have no choice but to do that. So we’re just right now trying to formulate how we’re going to go forward. But I just wanted to make clear that we’re going to do everything, you know, to make sure that our Embassy employees have the security they need.
QUESTION: How long do you have to comply? I mean, when does this take effect?
MR. WOOD: I don’t know, haven’t seen the details on that yet.
QUESTION: Wouldn’t you have decided how to go forward already since you knew it was coming?
MR. WOOD: Well, it’s not a question of knowing that it was coming. We wanted to make sure that we had a clear-cut response from the Iraqis, an official response. We have now – you know, we received that on January 23rd, as I said, and we’re looking at next steps. That’s about as much as I can give you at this point.
QUESTION: Would next steps be just, what, another contractor?
MR. WOOD: We’re looking at a variety of possibilities, but I’m not here to outline those possibilities at this point.
QUESTION: While you’re not here to outline the possibilities, wasn’t this contract part of the global contract where there were three that – companies that bid on the security? So couldn’t one of the other ones step in?
MR. WOOD: Well --
QUESTION: I mean, isn’t that the whole idea of having these massive contracts?
MR. WOOD: That’s a possibility, but we haven’t made a decision on how we’re going to go forward yet.
QUESTION: But you have two other contractors that are working in Iraq, DynCorp and Triple Canopy, right?
MR. WOOD: Right. That’s right.
QUESTION: So you could ostensibly just move Triple Canopy or DynCorp over, because you’ve done all the RFP work and other stuff, right?
MR. WOOD: Well, we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward yet, as I said. So I really don’t have any more to give you on that.
QUESTION: Is there a temporary security in place? I mean --
MR. WOOD: Like I said, I’m going to find out and get an answer to that question, because I’m not sure at this point.
QUESTION: It seems to be a bit irresponsible for the State Department not to have a backup plan and especially since you knew this was coming.
MR. WOOD: I did not say the State Department didn’t have a backup plan, but I said we’re looking at options and we haven’t made a decision as to how we’re going to go forward.
QUESTION: Well, doesn’t it seem to be – I mean, wouldn’t it be appropriate to have had an idea in place so --
MR. WOOD: I’m not saying we don’t have ideas, you know.
QUESTION: Well, one that you were – had been approved and you were ready to go ahead with?
MR. WOOD: Matt, as I said, when we have something in terms of a way forward, we’ll certainly be happy to let you know. But at this point, we’re looking at our options, and that’s the prudent thing to do.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
its paying off
My suffering is not for nothing. stepped on the scale this morning.... 260. i'm also down a belt loop. slow progress but hopefully with my new workout routine it'll start paying off more and faster.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
where you ask
In case you wanna know just WHERE Rantville is located.....
(someone please get the Futurama reference)
(someone please get the Futurama reference)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
more qualifications
i'm adding on to my list of "if i ever lose my damn mind and get married this is the list of things the girl better have"
it was actually only a list of 1.
1 - not American. American women for the most part are just a pain in the ass. There are a shitload of women out there that aren't nearly as selfish and a fuck of a lot hotter. If you're one of those poor bastards who's only known and dated American women you're missing out. There are a lot of Spanish, German, British, Russian, Iraqi, Australian, and Thai girls (plenty more but i'm just naming a few places i've been) out there who aren't fucked up. for some of you American girls reading this who aren't fucked up, i apologize but that's why i said "for the MOST part" and not "all". i know some damn cool ones, but not nearly enough to make me think American chicks aren't a hassle.
anyways, i'm adding number 2.
2 - must be rhythmic gymnast. flexibility and agility are never overrated.
it was actually only a list of 1.
1 - not American. American women for the most part are just a pain in the ass. There are a shitload of women out there that aren't nearly as selfish and a fuck of a lot hotter. If you're one of those poor bastards who's only known and dated American women you're missing out. There are a lot of Spanish, German, British, Russian, Iraqi, Australian, and Thai girls (plenty more but i'm just naming a few places i've been) out there who aren't fucked up. for some of you American girls reading this who aren't fucked up, i apologize but that's why i said "for the MOST part" and not "all". i know some damn cool ones, but not nearly enough to make me think American chicks aren't a hassle.
anyways, i'm adding number 2.
2 - must be rhythmic gymnast. flexibility and agility are never overrated.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Keeping the faith
Ok so i took the dieting/exercise to another level.
Meals are gone for the most part. 6 days a week, i'm drinking protein shakes and eating protein bars. 1 day i can what i want (but i'm not going to go nuts. i still refuse to drink sodas and monster and eat candy. i won't let my old vices come back) and i've kicked up my cardio to 90 minutes a day.
i'm going to be hungry. and tired. and a little miserable. but it's the price i told myself i would have to pay for 6 and a half years of destroying my body.
I'll go back to destroying my body once i get it back to where it was years ago. even then, i might need to have people kick my ass to keep me working out and eating right ONCE in a while.
Meals are gone for the most part. 6 days a week, i'm drinking protein shakes and eating protein bars. 1 day i can what i want (but i'm not going to go nuts. i still refuse to drink sodas and monster and eat candy. i won't let my old vices come back) and i've kicked up my cardio to 90 minutes a day.
i'm going to be hungry. and tired. and a little miserable. but it's the price i told myself i would have to pay for 6 and a half years of destroying my body.
I'll go back to destroying my body once i get it back to where it was years ago. even then, i might need to have people kick my ass to keep me working out and eating right ONCE in a while.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Lefty and proud
What do i have in common with these pros? I'm a lefty too.
left-handed that is
10. Johan Santana, Baseball. Mets' ace's 2.53 ERA led all pitchers.
9. CC Sabathia, Baseball. Carried Brewers to the playoffs with an 11-2 post-trade record.
8. Manu Ginobli, Basketball. One of the most underrated players in the NBA and, in fact, the world.
7. Justin Morneau, Baseball. Twins' first baseman won AL MVP in '06 and All-Star Home Run Derby in '08.
6. Ryan Howard, Baseball. Majors-leading 48 homers, 146 RBI helped Phillies win World Series.
5. Chris Bosh, Basketball. Olympic Gold Medalist is 6th in NBA scoring.
4. Cliff Lee, Baseball. AL Cy Young winner with a gaudy 22-3 record.
3. Tim Tebow, Football. Two National Championships and a Heisman before his senior season.
2. Phil Mickelson, Golf. World's No. 3 might dominate in a parallel universe void of Tiger Woods.
1. Rafael Nadal, Tennis. World's No. 1 player, arguably the best ever on clay.
hat tip: Dallas Observer
left-handed that is
10. Johan Santana, Baseball. Mets' ace's 2.53 ERA led all pitchers.
9. CC Sabathia, Baseball. Carried Brewers to the playoffs with an 11-2 post-trade record.
8. Manu Ginobli, Basketball. One of the most underrated players in the NBA and, in fact, the world.
7. Justin Morneau, Baseball. Twins' first baseman won AL MVP in '06 and All-Star Home Run Derby in '08.
6. Ryan Howard, Baseball. Majors-leading 48 homers, 146 RBI helped Phillies win World Series.
5. Chris Bosh, Basketball. Olympic Gold Medalist is 6th in NBA scoring.
4. Cliff Lee, Baseball. AL Cy Young winner with a gaudy 22-3 record.
3. Tim Tebow, Football. Two National Championships and a Heisman before his senior season.
2. Phil Mickelson, Golf. World's No. 3 might dominate in a parallel universe void of Tiger Woods.
1. Rafael Nadal, Tennis. World's No. 1 player, arguably the best ever on clay.
hat tip: Dallas Observer
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
climbing the hill
Ok so i'm about 1 week from being able to say "i have not had Mountain Dew, Monster, or any junk food in 2 months" and while i should be doing the happy dance, right now i could eat a package of Oreos and wash them down with a 12-pack of Dew. But...no. gotta stay strong. So last week i started a "diet" put together by my buddy Scott who is our medic here. I've been following his advice and we've been hitting the gym in the mornings together. I'm eating basically meat and a salad for lunch/dinner, an omlette and hash browns for breakfast, and i'm replacing one or two of these meals with a protein drink, sometimes a drink one instead of breakfast, etc.... you get the picture. at the gym i'm keeping it simple but painful. I do cardio for an hour to an hour and a half. Lemme tell you something. 90 minutes on an elliptical machine and your calf muscles are JELLO after. Scott asked how much i weighed. i told him that when i did my physical back in DC to come over here in october, i weighed in at (i can't believe i'm putting this in print) 280.
i won't lie, that gave me a kick in the ass for motivation when i found that out. There's a big difference between knowing you're a fatass and knowing JUST HOW MUCH of a fatass you are. putting a number on it was a face full of cold water.
so anyways Scott said "i promise you man, you stuck with this and in 3 or 4 months you'll be down to 210 or 220." It's been easily 6 years since i weighed that close to 200. I couldn't even imagine it now. It's like when i look at old pics of me right out of high school when i looked like i weighed a buck and a quarter. i just can't FATHOM being in the shape i was in. you know what, there's only one way to find this out right? stay the course.
my motivation in all this remains misty. even to me. do i want to be healthy? do i want to look better? do i want to feel better?
- the health factor. i'd put it at about 5%. honestly i just don't care. my health has never been something i've ever concerned myself about. you can tell me i should till you pass out. i won't. i've already said i don't plan to live to be old.
- looks. i'd rate this around 35%. i have never considered myself an attractive person. so it's not like if i pull this off i'm going to bullshit myself into thinking i'm going to be a lady-killer. even at my physical peak i still thought of myself as woman-repellent. the only reason i've had girlfriends is because, well, i'm sure they had their reasons. the only reason i've gotten laid as many damn times as i have is because i don't have high standards and i'm a total whore. so looks have never been a weapon i thought i could stock in my arsenal when hunting females. the only weapons i think i have that are effective is a sense of humor and a back massage that never fails to please the ladies.
- feeling better. i'd dial this one in at 40%. i'd kinda like being able to climb a couple flights of stairs and not get winded. feeling myself jiggle is getting old. seeing X anywhere on my clothing tab is getting old. i mean i knew when i started wrecking my body that sooner or later i would decide to care again.
- just seeing if i can do it. this is 10%. i love a good challenge.
- remaining 10% motivation. it's a secret.
i won't lie, that gave me a kick in the ass for motivation when i found that out. There's a big difference between knowing you're a fatass and knowing JUST HOW MUCH of a fatass you are. putting a number on it was a face full of cold water.
so anyways Scott said "i promise you man, you stuck with this and in 3 or 4 months you'll be down to 210 or 220." It's been easily 6 years since i weighed that close to 200. I couldn't even imagine it now. It's like when i look at old pics of me right out of high school when i looked like i weighed a buck and a quarter. i just can't FATHOM being in the shape i was in. you know what, there's only one way to find this out right? stay the course.
my motivation in all this remains misty. even to me. do i want to be healthy? do i want to look better? do i want to feel better?
- the health factor. i'd put it at about 5%. honestly i just don't care. my health has never been something i've ever concerned myself about. you can tell me i should till you pass out. i won't. i've already said i don't plan to live to be old.
- looks. i'd rate this around 35%. i have never considered myself an attractive person. so it's not like if i pull this off i'm going to bullshit myself into thinking i'm going to be a lady-killer. even at my physical peak i still thought of myself as woman-repellent. the only reason i've had girlfriends is because, well, i'm sure they had their reasons. the only reason i've gotten laid as many damn times as i have is because i don't have high standards and i'm a total whore. so looks have never been a weapon i thought i could stock in my arsenal when hunting females. the only weapons i think i have that are effective is a sense of humor and a back massage that never fails to please the ladies.
- feeling better. i'd dial this one in at 40%. i'd kinda like being able to climb a couple flights of stairs and not get winded. feeling myself jiggle is getting old. seeing X anywhere on my clothing tab is getting old. i mean i knew when i started wrecking my body that sooner or later i would decide to care again.
- just seeing if i can do it. this is 10%. i love a good challenge.
- remaining 10% motivation. it's a secret.
BCS over
i'd just like to point out that WVU is finishing the year inside the top 25.
#23 to be exact.
now a couple notes from the game last night (early this morning for me)
- up yours AFN. big time up yours. i swear to god it was like 10 shitty AFN commercials for every 2 plays of football. what jackass was running the commercials? we even MISSED PLAYS IN THE GAME because they were running commercials. someone needs to have their ass paddled till they cry over this.
- i wish i had gotten on sportsbook.com and bet a couple thousand bucks on whatever the over/under number was on UNDER. i'd be a rich fucking guy right now. tied at 7 at halftime? are you kidding me?
#23 to be exact.
now a couple notes from the game last night (early this morning for me)
- up yours AFN. big time up yours. i swear to god it was like 10 shitty AFN commercials for every 2 plays of football. what jackass was running the commercials? we even MISSED PLAYS IN THE GAME because they were running commercials. someone needs to have their ass paddled till they cry over this.
- i wish i had gotten on sportsbook.com and bet a couple thousand bucks on whatever the over/under number was on UNDER. i'd be a rich fucking guy right now. tied at 7 at halftime? are you kidding me?
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Look back
You think in 2020 or so we'll be watching a movie with a scene about an Iraq War Vet that is this powerful?
more explain please
Thank you to the anonymous comment from that previous post. This was too good not to post a link.
Quick explanation of Star Wars
good stuff.
Quick explanation of Star Wars
good stuff.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Superbad
The movie Superbad.... sucked. it was (if you'll pardon the pun) super bad. i watched this movie only because my buddy here highly recommended it. "you'll love it man it's great!!!" well that's the last movie recommendation i take from him. you know what watching this movie was like?
(i'm about to make a very dirty explicit comparison so sensitive readers just stop now)
watching this movie was like having terrible sex with a chick who talked a big game. i mean, here you are hearing how great it is. you are assured the experience will be one to remember. you WILL enjoy yourself. oh boy oh boy....i'm going to like this!!! i'm going to cum in her so fucking hard her nose will run! only to walk away asking yourself "why the fuck did i just go thru with that!?!?" for the most part i can walk away from almost any movie saying i was entertained. i keep my expectations low and as a result i'm almost always a happy movie going person. i don't set the bar high. it's kinda like sex, even if i don't have the time of my life i'm just happy to be there and be entertained. only, when i see movies like this, i tell myself i should have just stayed home and slept with myself, because it certainly would have been better.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with people who let themselves get pushed around.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with a character that treats his friends like shit and even when he gets called out on it, they make up and everything is cool. who's fucking idea of friendship is THAT???
Seth Rogen is over hyped. WAY over hyped. the guy isn't that funny. he has his moments, but all in all, he just isn't that funny. not enough to where i have to see him in every frakking comedy that comes out.
there, i'm done venting.
time to wash my eyeballs and go to bed.
(i'm about to make a very dirty explicit comparison so sensitive readers just stop now)
watching this movie was like having terrible sex with a chick who talked a big game. i mean, here you are hearing how great it is. you are assured the experience will be one to remember. you WILL enjoy yourself. oh boy oh boy....i'm going to like this!!! i'm going to cum in her so fucking hard her nose will run! only to walk away asking yourself "why the fuck did i just go thru with that!?!?" for the most part i can walk away from almost any movie saying i was entertained. i keep my expectations low and as a result i'm almost always a happy movie going person. i don't set the bar high. it's kinda like sex, even if i don't have the time of my life i'm just happy to be there and be entertained. only, when i see movies like this, i tell myself i should have just stayed home and slept with myself, because it certainly would have been better.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with people who let themselves get pushed around.
i am sick and fucking tired of movies with a character that treats his friends like shit and even when he gets called out on it, they make up and everything is cool. who's fucking idea of friendship is THAT???
Seth Rogen is over hyped. WAY over hyped. the guy isn't that funny. he has his moments, but all in all, he just isn't that funny. not enough to where i have to see him in every frakking comedy that comes out.
there, i'm done venting.
time to wash my eyeballs and go to bed.
Monday, January 05, 2009
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