Venting

- so lemme see if i get this right..... Democrats outright LIE about Rush Limbaugh (and yes that's what they did. they didn't misunderstand or take him out of context or any of that bullshit they fucking knew they were telling lies.) He turns it around on them and raises 4 million bucks for charity. Now they're trying to take credit for it. What kills me is the amount of outrage that SHOULD be out there but isn't.

- Just so all you non-technical people out there understand, if you have a computer that is 4 or 5 years old or older.... and it's running slow or you're having problems.... just buy a new one. The only way you're getting more than 5 years out of a PC is if you only run the programs it came with and you don't go online. Plain and simple.

- This week we actually had a couple days where it FELT like it was fall out. Short lived I'm afraid.

- what pisses me off the most about my love life is that when i sit and think about it, no matter how i played my cards it was inevitable i was going to end up alone, miserable, and pissed. It's lose-lose. If i could wave a wand and take all the pain of my past failed relationships away.... poof.... i lose the experiences and thus the lessons they taught. the same lessons and experiences which taught me that i will never be able to hold a relationship together. without THAT knowledge, I'll be just like all the rest of the single people out there who think "the right one just hasn't come along" and I'll keep playing the lottery of love. which leads to me getting into and failing at more relationships, which leads to the experience, which leads to right where I'm at now.

- I'd like to think i took more from my relationships than just harsh learning experiences. each girl offered something different and i miss very specific things about them. with Kristen (k1) i miss feeling an ignorant love. i loved her and i never knew an unhappy moment whenever we were together. i miss feeling that first love. with Carrie i miss the raw passion. locking eyes and knowing that you fit with that person perfectly. i hope for both our sakes we never meet again because i don't think i could keep away from her. with Yolanda i miss feeling loved. to this day i feel bad about just how much she cared about me and the relationship didn't work. and with Kristin (k2) i miss the feeling like i had actually achieved as close as I'll ever get to a family. sharing an apartment with a girlfriend and 2 cats. that's as close as i got to the white picket fence and 2.3 kids that my friends are living. i never told her but after we got kitty and jack i really did think of us as a family. maybe i should have. in any case, looking back it's all moot. no matter the girl, i find a way to screw it up. thus here i am.