Kristen Stewart? Seriously?
Bad enough all our best comic book heros are being played by Brits, now we gotta give away key roles to shitty actresses?
Will I EVER see a fucking awesome Superman movie in my lifetime?????
UPDATE: bullet dodged.
UPDATE2: ok so if he doesn't hate me, he certainly hates comic book fans. i think the comic industry would be greatly served by a good Wonder Woman movie or tv show. Sadly, Hollywood decides "let's just totally fuck this up."
UPDATE3: why aren't American men being cast? well according to casting agents, because American men are a bunch of pussies. this of course begs the question, "well why do you assholes keep hiring pussies?" maybe if you fuckheads hired men who are real men and unashamed of it we wouldn't be stuck with a bunch of candyasses too meek to be convincing superheros.
Thursday, February 03, 2011
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Gamer girl FTW
New world record for female gamer.
Stats on this girl D&D style.
Gamer chick +10
hot asian girl +5
really good at guitar hero +20
(the numbers don't mean anything i just wanted to make it look cool)
so yeah, hot asian girl gamer. i am officially in love.
Stats on this girl D&D style.
Gamer chick +10
hot asian girl +5
really good at guitar hero +20
(the numbers don't mean anything i just wanted to make it look cool)
so yeah, hot asian girl gamer. i am officially in love.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Obamacare
Obamacare is awesome. It's so damn awesome that Obama thinks they're going to run out of it when it launches and being the great unselfish humanitarian that he is, he's going to make sure that you and I get plenty of it. He's even managed to convinced his good friends and massive campaign donors to be selfless and let us have their Obamacare.
Oh wait.....
No that's not it. Obamacare is a big piece of shit and he's making sure his buddies are shielded from it. I mean seriously, do you really need any more proof? I mean if i walked into a bar and announced that i've come up with a drink that puts every other alcohol to shame.... oh but me and my buddies won't be having any. Anyone else going to be a little bit "wait if it's so fucking great...."????
Oh wait.....
No that's not it. Obamacare is a big piece of shit and he's making sure his buddies are shielded from it. I mean seriously, do you really need any more proof? I mean if i walked into a bar and announced that i've come up with a drink that puts every other alcohol to shame.... oh but me and my buddies won't be having any. Anyone else going to be a little bit "wait if it's so fucking great...."????
Friday, January 28, 2011
Unleashed
Don't ever let me win the lottery.
We were all chatting at work the other day on what kind of spending orgies we'd embark on if we found ourselves overnight millionaires. I gotta say, I don't think i'd go on a spending binge. Here's my listing of things i'd do.
- take care of people. specifically my family and friends. family, i would set aside a chunk and give it to my parents and have them dole it out since i trust them to know who REALLY needs it. i'd also have them tell everyone they give it to "this is all you get. do not come back later asking for more cuz you ain't getting it. this is free money you didn't have to do anything to get so be grateful and don't push your luck." Dad will probably have to be the one to say it since my mom is too nice to say something like that. Friends, they'd get a little somethin-somethin thrown at them. Jimmy Ballard looks out for people he likes.
- Car. a given. I'm getting my Camaro back and she'll be supercharged to like 900 Horsepower. I'd rent Texas Motor Speedway for a day after i did and spend all day driving 200 MPH.
- Investments. I'd have to find an expert on this. One would think real estate but the way the housing market is going, who knows.
- Businesses. My dreams of opening gaming centers, and a bar will come true. The gaming center would be a giant warehouse converted to contain tons and tons of PC/console gaming stations. We'd have a membership program that has to be opened by a parent. Maybe run some kind of after school program with tutors to help kids with schoolwork. Shoehorn in a snack bar, repair shop, and a store that builds custom rigs. The bar would be something that blends the coziness of an Irish pub with the party-ness of a sports bar. There will be guitar hero contests. There's going to be karaoke with the conditions that staff members will carry paintball guns that will be used if you suck. Wet T-shirt contests. Beerfest night. and most importantly, the rant stage. A microphone on a platform in which a person will, after buying a shot or a pitcher or something, will be granted a certain amount of time to get up and go off on whatever the hell they want that's bothering them. Anyone who doesn't like what's being said can feel free to buy a drink and go on after. We'll keep security on hand and lay down a few common sense rules to keep it somewhat civil. Tell me this wouldn't get better the more drunk people got.
- Entertainment. I'd spend the next few years getting part time jobs and seeing what I can do to get fired. If you sit at your job and think "boy i wish i could tell this customer this" or "I would totally do this if it wouldn't get me fired" well i'd be doing it. I'd work at McDonalds and laugh at the fat chicks who order diet drinks. things like that.
Things I wouldn't do.
- buy a huge mansion. what the hell do i need all that space for? I'd rather buy an apartment complex and take over connected apartments for myself.
- looking fancy. i'm still dressing in jeans and tshirts. i'm not wearing $1000 shirts or anything that stupid.
- Marriage. nope. not that i was before but now i'm REALLY not getting hitched. in fact one of my first things i'm doing would be getting myself snipped to make sure some bitch doesn't try and pull the old "i'm on birth control baby" bit.
- give to charity. i'm pretty sure word would get out on how rich I am so i'm sure the freeloaders will be lining up. it's real simple. you aren't getting money. i don't give a shit what kind of sob story you have. Oh and first person to ask for money on behalf of a church? I'm hiring someone to beat the shit out of you with a cross.
We were all chatting at work the other day on what kind of spending orgies we'd embark on if we found ourselves overnight millionaires. I gotta say, I don't think i'd go on a spending binge. Here's my listing of things i'd do.
- take care of people. specifically my family and friends. family, i would set aside a chunk and give it to my parents and have them dole it out since i trust them to know who REALLY needs it. i'd also have them tell everyone they give it to "this is all you get. do not come back later asking for more cuz you ain't getting it. this is free money you didn't have to do anything to get so be grateful and don't push your luck." Dad will probably have to be the one to say it since my mom is too nice to say something like that. Friends, they'd get a little somethin-somethin thrown at them. Jimmy Ballard looks out for people he likes.
- Car. a given. I'm getting my Camaro back and she'll be supercharged to like 900 Horsepower. I'd rent Texas Motor Speedway for a day after i did and spend all day driving 200 MPH.
- Investments. I'd have to find an expert on this. One would think real estate but the way the housing market is going, who knows.
- Businesses. My dreams of opening gaming centers, and a bar will come true. The gaming center would be a giant warehouse converted to contain tons and tons of PC/console gaming stations. We'd have a membership program that has to be opened by a parent. Maybe run some kind of after school program with tutors to help kids with schoolwork. Shoehorn in a snack bar, repair shop, and a store that builds custom rigs. The bar would be something that blends the coziness of an Irish pub with the party-ness of a sports bar. There will be guitar hero contests. There's going to be karaoke with the conditions that staff members will carry paintball guns that will be used if you suck. Wet T-shirt contests. Beerfest night. and most importantly, the rant stage. A microphone on a platform in which a person will, after buying a shot or a pitcher or something, will be granted a certain amount of time to get up and go off on whatever the hell they want that's bothering them. Anyone who doesn't like what's being said can feel free to buy a drink and go on after. We'll keep security on hand and lay down a few common sense rules to keep it somewhat civil. Tell me this wouldn't get better the more drunk people got.
- Entertainment. I'd spend the next few years getting part time jobs and seeing what I can do to get fired. If you sit at your job and think "boy i wish i could tell this customer this" or "I would totally do this if it wouldn't get me fired" well i'd be doing it. I'd work at McDonalds and laugh at the fat chicks who order diet drinks. things like that.
Things I wouldn't do.
- buy a huge mansion. what the hell do i need all that space for? I'd rather buy an apartment complex and take over connected apartments for myself.
- looking fancy. i'm still dressing in jeans and tshirts. i'm not wearing $1000 shirts or anything that stupid.
- Marriage. nope. not that i was before but now i'm REALLY not getting hitched. in fact one of my first things i'm doing would be getting myself snipped to make sure some bitch doesn't try and pull the old "i'm on birth control baby" bit.
- give to charity. i'm pretty sure word would get out on how rich I am so i'm sure the freeloaders will be lining up. it's real simple. you aren't getting money. i don't give a shit what kind of sob story you have. Oh and first person to ask for money on behalf of a church? I'm hiring someone to beat the shit out of you with a cross.
Google no like torrent
Well it's comforting to know that Google is taking a stand and not helping someone run a search on how to bittorrent.
HOWEVER
they couldn't be bothered to not help people search for ways to kidnap children, make bombs, threaten the President, or cheat on taxes.
epic fail.
HOWEVER
they couldn't be bothered to not help people search for ways to kidnap children, make bombs, threaten the President, or cheat on taxes.
epic fail.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Prison security
So, to hell with shanks and smuggling drugs in your ass. The newest threat to prison security.... drum roll please....
Dungeons and Dragons
I wish I were kidding.
There, an expert on prison gangs argued not only that having a Dungeon Master issue direction to other players “mimics the organization of a gang”, but that the game encourages players to become obsessed with mentally escaping the restrictions of prison life, which could threaten “the safety and security of the institution.”
Funny, that guy just described my JOB. Only I didn't have to stab someone to get here and the anal rapings are a little less frequent.
Dungeons and Dragons
I wish I were kidding.
There, an expert on prison gangs argued not only that having a Dungeon Master issue direction to other players “mimics the organization of a gang”, but that the game encourages players to become obsessed with mentally escaping the restrictions of prison life, which could threaten “the safety and security of the institution.”
Funny, that guy just described my JOB. Only I didn't have to stab someone to get here and the anal rapings are a little less frequent.
Border fun
Another example of the Border Patrol harassing a poor mexican just trying for a better life.
NOT
it's a radical Islam cleric trying to get into our country to wreck shit. Attention all advocates for open borders... go fuck yourself.
NOT
it's a radical Islam cleric trying to get into our country to wreck shit. Attention all advocates for open borders... go fuck yourself.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Mono-D'OH!!!
I agree with instapundit.... screw the high speed rail, we need a monorail. I got dibbs on being Nimoy.
Blame game
Forget Call of Duty, the hottest selling franchise in the last decade is the Blame Game. This is a game that is enjoyed by everyone. Imagine that, a game that has no target audience. Literally everyone out there is a consumer. Some people play the game casually, and then there's some people who play the game to the level of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman in the World of Warcraft episode of South Park.
Anyways, the newest release from the blame game franchise is called Russian Airport attack.
Anyways, the newest release from the blame game franchise is called Russian Airport attack.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
They don't get it
So GLAAD is protesting South Park's latest episode "The F word" dealing with Harley riders and the word FAG. I guess they're mad that they're still getting getting called a bunch of fags and that we aren't out on the streets crying our eyes out that they're still being called fags. The problem is, they must not have watched the episode or, they were in the next room butt-fucking during an important part.
This is a slur whose meaning remains rooted in homophobia.
No you fag, it isn't. If you had been paying attention to the part where the Harley riders are researching the word fag in the library you'll find the word has predated your little culture you're trying to create and it's been used to slander the poor and old ladies. THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING EPISODE. Words change meaning. Christ, even in your own fucking organization name. GAY used to mean (and we're not talking like hundreds of years ago more like 50 or 60) happy. So, chalk this episode as lost to this retarded group and let me finish with a few points.
- We all user words out of meaning all the time. To me, calling someone/something retarded is an all the fucking time occurrence. I'm not calling people mentally handicapped i'm calling them stupid. No i don't see a problem and no i won't stop. I know that it isn't my intention to insult mentally challenged people. End of story. Everyone else with a problem can go fuck yourself.
- Does anyone else see the hysterical irony of a group of people who stole the word gay (they did, let's be honest. gay will never mean happy again) getting mad over a show trying to "steal" their insult? that's our word for making fun of you, we need it!!!
- yes, i'm being intentionally over-insulting towards gays. satire.
Cuddle? What a fag!!
This is a slur whose meaning remains rooted in homophobia.
No you fag, it isn't. If you had been paying attention to the part where the Harley riders are researching the word fag in the library you'll find the word has predated your little culture you're trying to create and it's been used to slander the poor and old ladies. THAT WAS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING EPISODE. Words change meaning. Christ, even in your own fucking organization name. GAY used to mean (and we're not talking like hundreds of years ago more like 50 or 60) happy. So, chalk this episode as lost to this retarded group and let me finish with a few points.
- We all user words out of meaning all the time. To me, calling someone/something retarded is an all the fucking time occurrence. I'm not calling people mentally handicapped i'm calling them stupid. No i don't see a problem and no i won't stop. I know that it isn't my intention to insult mentally challenged people. End of story. Everyone else with a problem can go fuck yourself.
- Does anyone else see the hysterical irony of a group of people who stole the word gay (they did, let's be honest. gay will never mean happy again) getting mad over a show trying to "steal" their insult? that's our word for making fun of you, we need it!!!
- yes, i'm being intentionally over-insulting towards gays. satire.
Cuddle? What a fag!!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Obama Nixon
Seriously, with all the Obama Nixon comparisons being drawn lately when it comes to Obama and the White House going after Fox News, how long till we see Obama getting handed an honorary degree by a pig?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Single moms ad
You know, that ad on facebook to meet single moms is misleading. I click thinking "hell yeah, meet some disgruntled mom who wants to release all that sexual frustration in an evening where she's free of the kids and free to make herself feel like that young gal who was out partying her butt off before she got married and had kids and found her husband off with some other woman and now she harbors that resentment and she wants to find some sucker of a man to rock his world and make him her love slave by over-sexing him and then crushing his soul, but she doesn't realize i'm wise to her ploy and that i keep MY soul in a coffee tin in a safety deposit box. Over-sex all you like missy, it won't work."
Only when i click the ad it goes to the home page and says "click here to meet other single parents". what a sec, OTHER??? you mean i have to have my own kid to get in on this? what a gyp!!!
I need to see if there's a site for hot chicks looking to act like total whores only if you promise to still respect them in the morning. I won't but, ya know, I can totally say i will and make it sound convincing.
Only when i click the ad it goes to the home page and says "click here to meet other single parents". what a sec, OTHER??? you mean i have to have my own kid to get in on this? what a gyp!!!
I need to see if there's a site for hot chicks looking to act like total whores only if you promise to still respect them in the morning. I won't but, ya know, I can totally say i will and make it sound convincing.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Doc talks
Doctor has his say
I think it's interesting that this issue has gone completely untouched. The left screams about how unfair it is the poor aren't getting free shit. The right screams that the Nazis are coming to take away their freedom. NOBODY is talking about how the medical community is overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, and the ones who are going to have to bear the REAL brunt of this all, no matter who wins.
I think it's interesting that this issue has gone completely untouched. The left screams about how unfair it is the poor aren't getting free shit. The right screams that the Nazis are coming to take away their freedom. NOBODY is talking about how the medical community is overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, and the ones who are going to have to bear the REAL brunt of this all, no matter who wins.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
District 9
Color me unimpressed. Everything I read about this movie said it was "groundbreaking" and "original" and other gushing reviews. There was nothing groundbreaking about it.
- Evil Corporation run by old white men willing to kill whoever they need to for money and power. WOW, I'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN THAT BEFORE. EVER. YOU ARE THE FIRST MOVIE TO SUGGEST OLD WHITE MEN WITH BRITISH ACCENTS COULD BE EVIL ON SCREEN.
- Corporation/Government who wants to exploit/dissect/capture aliens to experiment on them or steal their weapon technology. Nope, never fucking seen that either. Totally original. E.T.??? never heard of that movie.
- Crazy/ruthless African warlord. No fucking way.... those guys have always been portrayed as well-mannered gentlemen in movies.
- White mercenary who loves killing black people... I mean minorities... I mean aliens. gosh, don't know how I got that mixed up.
- Super-smart child saves the day. HOLY SHIT, how does this movie keep throwing these totally original concepts at us???? Before I saw this movie I never would have believed a child could save the day.
Don't get me wrong, the movie was good. Not great. Certainly not the best of the year. Not even close to the best sci-fi movie. But it was good. The end was action-packed and cool. I just fail to see where all this praise is coming from.
- Evil Corporation run by old white men willing to kill whoever they need to for money and power. WOW, I'VE NEVER FUCKING SEEN THAT BEFORE. EVER. YOU ARE THE FIRST MOVIE TO SUGGEST OLD WHITE MEN WITH BRITISH ACCENTS COULD BE EVIL ON SCREEN.
- Corporation/Government who wants to exploit/dissect/capture aliens to experiment on them or steal their weapon technology. Nope, never fucking seen that either. Totally original. E.T.??? never heard of that movie.
- Crazy/ruthless African warlord. No fucking way.... those guys have always been portrayed as well-mannered gentlemen in movies.
- White mercenary who loves killing black people... I mean minorities... I mean aliens. gosh, don't know how I got that mixed up.
- Super-smart child saves the day. HOLY SHIT, how does this movie keep throwing these totally original concepts at us???? Before I saw this movie I never would have believed a child could save the day.
Don't get me wrong, the movie was good. Not great. Certainly not the best of the year. Not even close to the best sci-fi movie. But it was good. The end was action-packed and cool. I just fail to see where all this praise is coming from.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Star Wars
Interesting article on how to reboot star wars or basically give it the same treatment Star Trek just got. If it makes a new Star Wars film that's as badass as the Star Trek one was, I'm game.
Recently I was showing Joe (my roommate and coworker) the trailer for the new Star Wars MMORPG. It was a bitchin CGI movie with some awesome fighting going on and Joe said, "why couldn't they have put this kind of stuff in the movies?" I agree. Here's some points i'd like to make about do/do not for a reboot.
- make some fucking awesome lightsaber fights. you don't have to go far to see what I'm talking about. check out the cut scenes and fight scenes of the game "Force Unleashed". Go look at some fan made movies. They're all a million times better than the anything in the movies.
- let the force-users USE THE FORCE. don't let it be limited to just a choke here or lighting blast there. Once again, go check out "force unleashed" and see how awesome it is when you got a jedi/sith always using the force to unleash cases of whoopass.
- don't be afraid to use multiple directors. bring in a guy who does good drama for the drama scenes. bring in someone who does good action for the action scenes. you explain to these assholes that working on Star Wars is a privilege and that they are there to do a specific job. explain they better not expect any oscars. want a suggestion on fresh blood? Try Shinichiro Watanabe. Go watch the anime series Cowboy Bebop or Macross Plus and you'll see some awesome action. Space battles and other cool stuff.
- Changes without pandering. No making any main characters Black or Gay simply to pander to the people who felt there wasn't enough of either in the originals. Screw them. You got Lando and you got C3P0 there you got Black and Gay. leave it alone. Like the article said, don't be afraid to make some changes. Make Han a bigger jerk in the beginning. Make Leia a pilot or even make her a jedi in secret. Obviously the shock value of the Skywalker bloodline is not going to be there so why make it secret? Let Leia find her long lost brother and have them both train with Yoda. Make it so Yoda tells them that when found each other they have only then will training they receive.
Recently I was showing Joe (my roommate and coworker) the trailer for the new Star Wars MMORPG. It was a bitchin CGI movie with some awesome fighting going on and Joe said, "why couldn't they have put this kind of stuff in the movies?" I agree. Here's some points i'd like to make about do/do not for a reboot.
- make some fucking awesome lightsaber fights. you don't have to go far to see what I'm talking about. check out the cut scenes and fight scenes of the game "Force Unleashed". Go look at some fan made movies. They're all a million times better than the anything in the movies.
- let the force-users USE THE FORCE. don't let it be limited to just a choke here or lighting blast there. Once again, go check out "force unleashed" and see how awesome it is when you got a jedi/sith always using the force to unleash cases of whoopass.
- don't be afraid to use multiple directors. bring in a guy who does good drama for the drama scenes. bring in someone who does good action for the action scenes. you explain to these assholes that working on Star Wars is a privilege and that they are there to do a specific job. explain they better not expect any oscars. want a suggestion on fresh blood? Try Shinichiro Watanabe. Go watch the anime series Cowboy Bebop or Macross Plus and you'll see some awesome action. Space battles and other cool stuff.
- Changes without pandering. No making any main characters Black or Gay simply to pander to the people who felt there wasn't enough of either in the originals. Screw them. You got Lando and you got C3P0 there you got Black and Gay. leave it alone. Like the article said, don't be afraid to make some changes. Make Han a bigger jerk in the beginning. Make Leia a pilot or even make her a jedi in secret. Obviously the shock value of the Skywalker bloodline is not going to be there so why make it secret? Let Leia find her long lost brother and have them both train with Yoda. Make it so Yoda tells them that when found each other they have only then will training they receive.
Monday, May 04, 2009
screw them
So New Orleans doesn't like Ray Nagin. boo fucking hoo.
They elected that incompetent racist fuck, they deserve everything they get.
They elected that incompetent racist fuck, they deserve everything they get.
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